Internet-Degenerate

Fun fact: Mario always comes back to life because both heaven and hell reject his soul.

This chapter was painful to write. Also, I changed my profile picture. I'm not going to ask if you like it, because I already know that you do.

The carillon bells rang, signaling the start of the Soirée Dansante. The chandeliers that were hung up on the ceiling for this event filled the entire gymnasium in an orange hue, and red drapes adorned the ceiling and walls. The gym was already packed. I stood with my back against a wall, distancing myself from the crowds. I felt very out of place among all these pretty women in their colorful ballroom dresses and gala dresses. Being the only male in a room full of beautiful girls in sexy dresses that show off their décolletage, there's only one thing I can look at - And I am sure you would be staring at the same thing in my position, so don't judge me. They're bewitching. Even though they're off in the corner and barely anyone was paying attention to them, I can't take my eyes off of them. That live string orchestra is simply amazing. Currently, they are playing the best rendition of Frühlingsstimmen I've ever heard. I already knew that Vincennes liked to go overboard, but I never would have thought they'd have a live orchestra play music.

"What are you staring at?" I hear Sol ask me.

"The orchestra-AARRGH!" I turn to answer Sol, but I see her standing there in a light pink ballroom dress and a shiny double strand pink pearl necklace. That sight, ladies and gentlemen, is what true beauty looks like. There are no words in any human language that can accurately describe what a beautiful sight she is. I don't know how, but she managed to make herself look ten times prettier than usual. Just looking at her is enough to give me intense heart palpitations. I clutch my heart in pain and turn away.

"Seraph! What's wrong?" Sol panicked at my reaction.

GAAAH! BEAUTIFUL! TOO BEAUTIFUL, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT! I take a few breaths before calming my heart. "It's nothing, I'm fine," I turn back and tell her. 

Sol was taken aback. "Ah, well, thank you," she said, averting her eyes to the ground. "It's rare to receive such a plainly-spoken compliment from you. I feel quite beside myself."

Ah, fuck. I said that out loud. "I'm sorry," I apologize. "I didn't mean to upset you-"

"No, not at all," she eased my worries with a giggle. "I appreciate the compliment. Thank you. That tuxedo looks very fine on you as well, Seraph."

"No it doesn't. This is way too fancy for me."

"No. You look very handsome," Sol assured me with a lie. She really is nice. Sol was the one who arranged the tuxedo for me. 'Everyone wears dresses to Soirée Dansante. It wouldn't do to have you being the only one in casual clothing,' she told me. This tuxedo doesn't look good on me, and it's very restrictive and uncomfortable. I hate this collar around my neck. I always find myself tugging at it because it feels like someone has their hand wrapped around my throat. But I suppose if someone sneaks up behind me and tries to slit my throat, the collar will get in the way. On an unrelated note, I styled my hair. And by styled, I mean I tried to put it in a man bun. And by tried, I mean I spent ten minutes trying to tie it back, failed, gave up, and spent the next few seconds putting it into a wispy half man bun with a bunch flyaway hairs poking out all over the place. I only just realized today that my hair has gotten long. It's so long it now reaches down to my shoulders. I look like utter trash in the midst of the indescribable beauty all around me - but then again, I don't even try to look nice.

Hearing that everyone was going to be wearing dresses and actually seeing them in person were two very different things. Seeing these girls dressed like this was no laughing matter. Just looking at Sol was enough to send me into a shock. Not to mention her dress shows off some of her cleavage. The exposed skin of her chest was unbelievably fair, and made me consider ripping out my eyes so I don't offend or creep her out by having my eyes gravitate towards them. 

"Ah, Seraph..." Sol awkwardly giggled. "You're staring..."

"Oh... Sorry..." I look down at the ground, ashamed. I really shouldn't be allowed to have sight if I can't even control where my eyes wander. Sol may have smiled and didn't make any attempt to hide her bosom when she told me, but she was clearly upset with me. Why wouldn't she be? Who'd want some ugly bastard staring at them?

"Ahem." I heard Chloe clear her throat disappointingly at me. 

"I know," I say, ashamed. "I'm terrib-AARRGH!" I turn to face Chloe, but I see her standing in a yellow ballroom dance dress and a sapphire teardrop necklace. That sight, ladies and gentlemen, is what true beauty looks like. There are no words in any human language that can accurately describe what a beautiful sight she is. I don't know how, but she managed to make herself look ten times prettier than usual. Just looking at her is enough to give me intense heart palpitations. I clutch my heart in pain and manage to hold myself up against the wall.

"Oi! What's with that reaction?" Chloe asked, offended by my reaction.

GAAAH! TOO BEAUTIFUL! SHE'S TOO BEAUTIFUL, I CAN'T! "It's nothing," I tell her, composing myself. "I'm not reacting at all." Chloe just looked at me as if I were crazy, red in the face. I looked at her as if she were crazy for looking at me like that. It took me far too long to realize what that look meant. "Oh... I said that aloud, didn't I?"

"Yeah." She answered me as if I were stupid (which I undoubtedly was). I need to become void of feelings. Become void, Seraph. Be one with the void. Void the mind. Void the soul. Just focus on how awesome that orchestra is.

"Salutations." A new challenger playfully approaches the three of us. Don't look. Focus on the music. It's good music.

"Salutations," Sol greets her.

"Hello," Chloe greets her. Now I look like the asshole for not addressing her. I take a deep breath in, void the mind, and face the girl.

"Salutations," I greet her. I see Tabby wearing a formal pine green A-line gown. Instead of her weird cat-like hat, she has a bow hairband the same color as her dress sitting on top of her head. It was so damn cute, but by emptying my mind, I have become immune.

"Well, Seph? How do I look?" Tabby asked. She gave me a flirty wink.

"AARRGH!" I clutch at my heart. That sight, ladies and gentlemen, is what true beauty looks like. There are no words in any human language that can accurately describe what a beautiful sight she is. I don't know how, but she managed to make herself look ten times sexier than - NO! VOID! FOCUS ON THE ORCHESTRA! They're playing Rosen aus dem Süden, now.

"I admit, I usually give off a pretty ridiculous image," Tabby says. "Wearing my avant-garde hats indoors and all. So this is my big transformation. You're seeing the sultry and sexy side of me. Gets you pretty worked up, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" Sol asked her, a little mad.

"It's a joke," Tabby raised her hands in between her and Sol. "You don't have to get so mad. But what is it that boys say... 'It's enough to stop traffic,' right?" She turned to me for confirmation. I just shrug my shoulders.

"Probably," I tell her.

"That's basically confirmation," she says. "Well, I guess it's true. I am showing my shoulders and all." Tabby teased me as she brushed her shoulder in my general direction. Then her face slowly dropped as she became uncharacteristically bashful. "...I never really thought about it when it was all girls, but now that there's a boy in the mix, I feel a little self-conscious." She timidly covered her shoulders with her hands and thought for a second. "Hmm... Wish my chest was a little bigger, though," she blurted out of nowhere for no reason. "Boards don't have much sex appeal, to be frank." 

What? Did Tabby just call herself flat as a board? She certainly doesn't look flat... I mean, that's gotta be a solid B cup. A little on the smaller side, but it's still obvious that she has some nice boobs...

. . .

I really should just stab out my eyes and burn in hell.

"What was that about chests?" Sapphire strolled in and asked us without even issuing a greeting. How uncivilized. She wore a strapless dress the color of pink lemonade that accentuated her hourglass figure. Around her neck was a blinding golden necklace with glistening ruby pendants hanging from it. All ours eyes turned and came to rest on her most distracting feature.

It's HUGE! I had some idea of how 'blessed' in the chest she was when she dressed casually, but after seeing her décolletage, it was far worse than I could have ever imagined. The thing that surprised me the most, however, was that the other girls were about as stunned as I am. Did she get bigger than she was this time last year? I thought Chloe changed in the same classroom as her, why is she shocked? At first, I thought I was just mistaken, and they were probably staring at something else. But when I followed each of their lines of sight, it was painfully obvious that they were gawking at her cleavage. Come to think of it, I'm not really perturbed by it anymore. I mean... Sapphire's just showing off at this point, whether she knows it or not. Or maybe it's because my brain self-destructed when I saw her. Whatever. I'll just focus on the music before another thought occurs and I try to give myself a crude sex change as penance for thinking sinful thoughts.

"Ahh..." Tabby breathed out. "Sapphire, you really are amazing."

"In what sense?" Sapphire asked her, confused.

"Your chest," Tabby said. "Your chest!" she reiterated. Then, without warning, Tabby thrust a finger into Sapphire's cleavage. Sapphire yelped as soon as she was attacked.

Void, Seraph. See no evil, hear no evil. See no evil, hear no evil.

"Wow..." Tabby sighed in amazement. "Hey, hey, Seraph, my finger's trapped between her pillows!"

I face the ground, shut my eyes tight and cover my ears. "See no evil hear no evil see no evil hear no evil see no evil hear no evil..."

"It's nothing to get so embarrassed about..." Chloe delicately tells me.

"That was sexual harassment." Sol reprimanded Tabby.

"Ah... so you were talking about breasts," Sapphire caught on.

"Yeah," Tabby followed up. "And how we don't really think about them until we're dressed like this."

Sapphire nodded her head, fondly reminiscing about something. "Talk of breasts... always reminds me of when I found Painmangeur."

"...Why?" I hesitantly ask.

"I nursed him."

"...Excuse me?" I'm sure I've misheard or misinterpreted something.

"It's a joke," she smiled. "I'm not lactating of course. The truth is, I held him to my breast to keep him warm-"

"Wow, you guys really managed to get a string orchestra for tonight!" I interrupt Sapphire to change topics and talk about literally anything else besides boobs. I must be as red as a tomato right about now. "It's unbelievable how good they are at playing!"

"Yes," Sol agreed, a little surprised by my sudden outburst. "The May Festival is the orchestra club's time to shine."

Just then, the chatter in the hall died down, as did the the sounds of the orchestra. All eyes turned to the stage. The student council president Marie gracefully proceeded to the center of it and stood behind the podium. 

"Salutations, everyone." She greeted all the party-goers. "The time has come to begin the May Festival's main event, the all-night Soirée Dansante. This night only comes once a year. Please enjoy yourselves, everyone. Now, we will have a few words from Sol, the leader of the Blue Lily society, which proposed this year's idea."

"Okay, I'm off." Sol waved lightly to us. Then, with a warrior's calm, proceeded to the stage. I forgot how imposing she was. It's moments like these that remind me why she's praised as The Sun of the School. She just issued a greeting and simple explanation. Then, the strings resumed the music. Sol remained at the podium with the air of a master of ceremonies.