BAM!!!

“Umm …”

BAM!!!

“Miss Hazelmere?”

BAM!!!

“That is not what the desks are for.”

BAM!!!

Hazelmere had no choice but to stop banging her forehead on the desk because that last hit wasn’t only painful, it also made her vision spin. Staggering quite a bit, she somehow managed to sit on the chair. Galizur could do nothing but observe in awe. The strange, self-destructive behavior he witnessed completely went against any logic he knew.

Hazelmere rested her face on the desk she was smashing it against just a moment ago, sprawling her arms over it.

“Are you ok, miss Hazelmere?” Galizur approached her carefully.

“No.”

“Can I help you somehow? Your head must hurt a lot.”

“My soul hurts more.”

That gave Galizur pause: “I am … not sure I understand.”

“I … I don’t think I’m cut out for this …”

“For what?”

“All of this. I’m … I’m starting to think I’m not worthy of this title.”

“The title of the royal archmage?”

“Yes. Everything is fine until I try doing something on my own. As long as I do as the others say, it’s fine. But, as soon as I do something the way I want, everything goes to shit.”

Galizur wanted to say something to make her feel better, but his honest, angelic nature prevented him from doing so.

“I’m … I’m …”

He heard Hazelmere’s voice distort slowly as her breathing intensified. Soon, her words turned into sobs as tears started streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m a … f-f-failure! I’m … only good at … f-following the others and … d-doing as they say! Every time I’ve … disregarded other people’s … opinions … it turned into a disaster! I even managed to get Peratha killed! All because … I wanted to act on my own! And now … I’ve declared a … war … on those demons … gods only know how many people will die because of me!”

Galizur just stood there, not knowing what to say or do. Such emotional outbursts were totally alien to him.

“I’m … not worthy! Someone else should have it! Cybil! Yes, Cybil is much better than I am! I bet … if she was … in my place … she’d handle everything better! She wouldn’t get anyone killed! She wouldn’t … alienate her friend! She wouldn’t … burn the books!”

“Have you alienated your friend?” Galizur’s voice was even more gentle than usual.

“I … I fought with … Mizette … just before the big demon came.”

“Fought over what?”

Hazelmere responded with nothing but more sobbing.

“If that is something you don’t want to share, I respect that. However, I am not sure if you are right.”

“About … what?”

“About the others being more fitting for your role.”

“Isn’t it … obvious? Who else could … fail this hard?”

“I am not going to deny that you have made many mistakes. I have talked with the others before you have returned from the palace, so I am aware of the things that have transpired. Yes, there were many errors on your part, but I am not sure that necessarily means someone else is more suited to handle this. There is a real chance the others would have made the same mistakes in your place, maybe even worse ones. Besides, you mortals have no other choice. You people can only gain wisdom by learning from your mistakes. And, while there is no denying that you are learning at a terrifying pace, the most important thing is that you are learning. You are gaining some wisdom from all of this. The very fact that you have started questioning if you are the right person for the job is proof that you are becoming wiser. Very few mortals are capable of questioning their own actions and, maybe, that is exactly the kind of person that is needed right now. Maybe, that quality will prove to be much more useful than anything else. Maybe, in this case, a leader who is willing to listen is better than a leader who is eager to give orders.”

“I … appreciate the effort … but … I still think I’m unworthy.”

“That is true. You aren’t worthy of your title. You are right when you say that Cybil is better suited for it. She is calmer, more mature, has more confidence in her abilities, is far less prone to sudden emotional outbursts, and many other things. But, just because she is more worthy of being the royal archmage doesn’t mean she would handle it any better. Being unworthy of something doesn’t mean you can’t succeed in it. After all, wouldn’t that be your ultimate triumph? Wouldn’t it be great to succeed even though you aren’t worthy?”

“I … I have a hard time … believing … this will get any better.”

“Still, it could have been much worse. The demonic armies aren’t pouring through, and they have shown us they are interested in negotiating. I don’t think their intentions are pure, but at least they aren’t mindless beasts like the demons we are used to.”

He starred patting Hazelmere slowly and clumsily: “Why not try to make the most out of it? They have sent you the books so why not return the gesture and send some of your books to them? When they saw you burn their books, they have probably concluded that you aren’t interested in negotiations but, if you give them some of your books, maybe they will realize you didn’t do it on purpose.”

“You think … that will work?” Hazelmere’s sobbing was slowly losing its intensity.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try! The fact that they have sent you the books shows that they value knowledge. And, from what I have heard, they have been acting in a very academic way all this time. We may be dealing with a rational, intelligent kind of demons.”

“Do such … demons exist?”

“Yes, they do. Most demons are irrational and overly emotional, acting solely on their feelings and instincts. But there is a tiny minority of rational demons. And, seeing how this new hell is the exact opposite of the hell we know of, there is a chance the rational demons are in the majority there.”

All of a sudden, Galizur’s expression changed into a troubled one.

“Although, truth be told, the rational demons are much more dangerous than their irrational kin.”

“I have figured as much. Just my luck, I guess. But I’ve never heard of such demons. Do the heavens know of them?”

“They are clever and manipulative. While religions try to unite the people under a single banner, to serve a common goal, these demons do their best to divide them into small groups and then make them fight each other. But, as long as we remain faithful, those demons can’t harm us. The point is, it wouldn’t hurt to send them some books. Unfortunately, we don’t know what kind of books they have sent us, so we have no idea what they are interested in. Still, it is mainly a gesture of good will. It is about showing them there is no need to fight. After all, you don’t give books to your enemies.”

“You think they aren’t interested in invading this world?”

“I don’t know, maybe they are, but it wouldn’t hurt to play their game. As long as we have nothing to lose, of course. Besides, that would buy us some time. And that is what we need the most right now. We need to buy the rulers of Greadinall time to reach an understanding. We must buy them time to unify Greadinall. Then, if these demons do show any hostile intent, it will be much easier to fight them.”

Hazelmere straightened up, wiping the tears from her face with the sleeves of her dress.

“I’ve brought some books with me. We can send those.”

“But please, don’t send them any books about magic. We don’t want them to know how magic works in this world.”

“Yes, I agree. I have some other books with me. More focused on entertainment than knowledge.”

“Those books would be perfect.”

Hazelmere walked towards the big chest sitting in the corner of her tent, next to her bed. She opened it up, revealing plenty of neatly arranged books inside.

“This chest was very expensive, but it is worth every coin. It even survived that huge thunder which has smashed the entire camp, while I had to bring a brand new bed in,” she commented while browsing the books.

But, as soon as she said that, her hands stopped moving.

“Speaking of that huge thunder … what have the heavens decided? Will you be trying to close the portal again? You didn’t succeed the last time but, maybe you will be victorious if you try again?”

Galizur’s big wings waved uncomfortably: “There will be no new attempts. It wouldn’t make a difference. We would only waste our precious energy.”

“How do you know that?”

“Maybe you mortals have forgotten about it, so let me remind you, just in case. Have you noticed that all the heroic tales are about a mortal hero slaying an evil, magical monster with a sword?”

“Ok but, what about it?”

“Don’t you find that strange? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the heavens to strike the monster down? There are gods, angels, spirits, all kinds of other divine beings. And yet, in the end, it is always up to some mortal to defeat the villain? Why do you think that is the case?”

The more Hazelmere thought about it, the more confused she looked.

“I … I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”

“That is because the world is constantly in balance. The energy which makes the world, and is deciding its course, is constantly in balance. And, since everything is created and determined through energy, even good and evil are balanced. That is because the energy is always seeking to balance itself out. That is its very nature. If it weren’t so, no life would exist. All life is dependent on it. Yes, there are moments when the balance is shattered and the chaos takes over, but those times are short-lived. Even when the balance is shattered, the energy seeks to establish a new balance as soon as possible, which it eventually does. The chaotic times only serve to shift the balance, since they can never truly destroy it.”

“And, what that has to do with my original question?”

“Everything! You see, the gods have created the mortals to be useful. They didn’t create you just because they felt like it. They were more than happy existing on their own. However, all the gods have quickly realized that the gods who were neither good nor evil are the only ones who can change things. As I have already explained, good and evil eventually balance each other out. However, those who are neither good nor evil can tip the balance at any time. Both the good and the evil gods got tired of these neutral gods being the most influential, so they have decided to create the mortals to change that. Gods made you mortals to be neutral on purpose, because that way you aren’t limited by the balance. You can become either good or evil, the choice is yours. Therefore, just like the neutral gods, the mortals can tip the scales at any time. That is also why you mortals aren’t magical, even though you can use magic.”

“But, if these neutral gods can change the balance at will, then what chances do we have against them?”

“The thing with the neutral gods is that they aren’t unified. All of them have their own opinions and aren’t known for cooperating with each other. That is why, in most cases, these gods take the opposite sides. Some neutral gods join good ones, while others join the evil ones. That makes the balance restore itself, quite ironically at that. However, there are times when most of the neutral gods join one side.”

“Is that what had happened when you tried to close the portal?”

Galizur fidgeted uncomfortably: “Well … no. We had most of the neutral gods on our side, which is why we were confident about our success. But … a strange god showed up, one that rarely takes sides. And this god is one of the most powerful gods out there.”

“Yesis …” Hazelmere whispered carefully, as if just saying that name out loud could cause great calamities.

“… yes. We didn’t expect the most chaotic and wrathful deity to show up. With Yesis’s appearance, the balance was restored once again, making it impossible for us to change anything. And that is where you mortals come in. Now that Yesis’s meddling has restored the balance once again, the time has come for you to shift it back to where it is meant to be. The time has come for a mortal hero to save the world once again!”

“But, wasn’t the balance already shattered when the portal has appeared in our world?”

“As soon as it was summoned, a new balance was created. The portal became an inseparable part of this world. I have told you, the balance can never be truly shattered. It can only be shifted. That being said, I hope I have cleared some things for you. What books do you have in that chest?”