Hazelmere set out, carrying a bag full of books, her trusty staff, and a pile of furs, which was at least twice her size. Still, it didn’t bother her, thanks to Cybil’s spell. Satisfied with its effect, Hazelmere hastened her steps, eager to get the job done as soon as possible.

She was surprised to realize she wasn’t feeling the frost for quite some time. “Must be that the furs are doing their job,” she thought. Truth be told, the further away from the camp she was, the better she felt. The heat was unbearable at first, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut due to the constant need to hyperventilate. She huffed and puffed unconsciously ever since she had stepped out of the camp. But now, when she realized she didn’t feel any cold for a while, she also realized that she couldn’t feel any heat either. And, while that made her body feel better, it did unsettle her mind quite a bit.

The frost started setting on her face first. It was the only part of her body that was completely exposed. Even her hands had some custom-made, improvised, fur gloves. However, there was nothing she could cover her face with. In a desperate attempt to make her face any warmer, she grabbed her long hair, wrapping it around her face as best as she could. It didn’t do much, but it was better than nothing.

Her hot breath became visible, forcing itself through her covered mouth. It appeared to be fog-like. She remembered Peratha’s words, how that’s not her soul leaving the body. That gave her the resolve to keep going.

The air she breathed became icy. It started piercing her mouth, nose, and lungs. She felt a small but sharp pain with each breath she took. She tried to relieve the pain by breathing slowly. It was hard for her to do so, with her body being under enormous stress. Even though she didn’t feel any tiredness yet, her body did involuntarily respond to it.

She reached the half-ice, the soggy one. But, it wasn’t as soggy as before, as when they’ve reached the portal with Peratha’s magic. It was pure white this time and much firmer. Her feet didn’t make any squashing sounds as she treaded over it. It was also evenly spread on the ground as if someone had spread a colossal, white carpet all over the field.

Her feet and hands started feeling the frost too. It was an unpleasant, numbing sensation, as if her skin was somehow becoming more … thicker and less agile. It felt as if thousands of tiny needles poked it, not to hurt but for fun.

At this point, she felt her face freezing slowly. Her movements became slower and slower due to the ever-increasing numbness in her feet. The rest of her body was fine, but that meant little if her feet didn’t work right.

She paused for a moment to think. Her boots were doing well until she reached the half-ice. Now, upon closer inspection, she realized that they were slowly turning into a liability. Even though the half-ice was relatively hard, her boots absorbed some of the water it was made of, making them heavier. She could also feel the cold water on the skin of her feet in a few places.

“Well, isn’t that the perfect way to keep the intruders out! The water the ice is made of clings to your feet and soaks into your boots, freezing your feet from within.”

She looked towards the portal: “How long can I go on like this? My body feels fine, but I can’t go back if my feet freeze. And I can’t get my boots off or dry them. Will my feet freeze like my face did? I bet they will. And it will only get worse the closer to the portal I get. I haven’t even reached the proper ice yet!”

“Can they see me from out there? No, it’s too far away. I’m just a small dot to them at this distance, not even an elf would be able to see me. I have to push forward, at least until I can see those … things, with my own eyes.”

So, Hazelmere went on.

“This damn ice! Honestly, it’s worse than the solid one! It clings to my body, weighting me down! It drains my energy slowly, without me even noticing it. I’d feel much more at ease if it would start freezing me solid right away, then I’d know I should start running! This way, it makes me think I can keep going. A fool would even think reaching the portal itself is possible!”

It wasn’t long before Hazelmere noticed she couldn’t feel her feet anymore. The feeling in her nose was long gone, it felt as if an ice cube was in its place, but not being able to feel her feet was a completely different story. However, although she couldn’t feel them, they still worked. That gave her the motivation to continue.

“If my feet can work even though I can’t feel them, then perhaps the frost isn’t as dangerous as we think? Besides, I must deliver these books. I must make sure they can see me. There’s no way I’ll die without making this right! I refuse to go down in history as the jackass responsible for the second fall.”

As she pressed on, the frost started settling in her calves. With the senses in her feet gone, the pricking and prodding of the frost began moving up, towards the rest of her body.

Even though that made the alarm bells ring in her mind, it didn’t stop her from moving on. What did stop her was her inability to carry the books any longer.

It wasn’t the issue of strength or endurance, Cybil did a masterful job with her spell. However, not long after the frost has removed the senses from her feet, it did the same with her hands, making all of her extra strength useless. When she lost the sense of touch in her fingers, she could still hold the books somehow. It took a lot of juggling with her arms and hands, but it was manageable. But now, she noticed her hands are disappearing too. Not literally, of course, but that was exactly what it felt like.

The bag started slipping away from her grasp, her nonfunctional fingers completely useless to stop it from falling to the ground. She kneeled to pick it up, only to fall face-first into the freezing ice. Struggling, she managed to dig herself out of it, realizing that most of her energy was gone.

“Wha … when did it happen? I … I felt so full of it just a moment ago ... how …”

Looking at the bag made her stop complaining and remember her purpose. Finding the greatest determination she has ever mustered in her life, she hugged the bag with her arms, lifting it off the ground. Then, she shifted it down her arms to her semi-functioning hands. She stood up, with shaky legs.

She lifted her arms as high as possible (which wasn’t much) and started waving the bag in her hands left and right while facing the portal’s direction. She couldn’t see it, but she knew it was on top of the hill.

Her hands gave up quickly, dropping the bag to the ground once more.

“There’s no way I can pick it up again. I can’t even pick myself up anymore. I have to go. There’s nothing more I can do in this frozen hell.”

She turned around and started walking back. Limping actually, because that’s what her movement looked like. The lack of any senses in her feet made her walking unsteady. Instead of walking in a straight line, she waved left and right, which made her progress noticeably slower. She was aware of it but unable to do anything. Her feet cared not for her will in the slightest, they dragged her on their own. Still, Hazelmere was grateful. Even though she couldn’t control them, they still did their best to carry her to safety.

But, that changed once her legs also became numb. When her legs gave up, she crashed unceremoniously in a heap. It was as if someone had erased the lower part of her body, as if it was never there. Both of her legs became nothing but an unresponsive burden. She tried moving them with her hands, only to remember her hands were long gone.

In the act of desperation, she started crawling on her arms, using the elbows instead of her feet. Once again, Cybil’s spell proved useful. Without it, there was no way she’d ever be able to move her body like that, especially with all that furs on top of it.

The progress she made that way was miserable at best. The effort was too great, the gains too small, but there was no other alternative. She elbowed her way through the half-ice desperately, as long as she could, until her arms gave up. Eventually, the ice froze them too.

She couldn’t feel her legs, nor her arms. Her entire face was also frozen. At this point, she could feel nothing but her ragged breath, as the right half of her face was buried in the soft ice.

“He … hehe … hehehehe …” she started laughing out loud.

“Hahaha … hahahahaha …”

With the last bits of energy, she clumsily flipped over so her face would look up, towards the sky.

“He … he … I’m such a fool … I was such a fool …”

There was no sorrow in her voice, nothing but resignation and acceptance.

“I … I wasted so … such a great opportunity … for what? I … I had everything I asked for … for what? What have I ever given in return? What difference did I make? Besides making everything worse.”

After a short pause, she continued.

“I guess this makes sense. This is what I deserve, a fair punishment. That’s the one thing I can be proud of in my whole life. At least I’ve redeemed myself in the end. At least I tried. That has to count for something in the heavens, right? I’ve removed myself, so someone more competent can take over. I’ve sacrificed myself so the others can live. That has to mean something, right?”

As Hazelmere pondered on everything she went through during the last few moons, she didn’t even notice her consciousness disappear together with her energy.