Against a cold wind, Pan crossed her arms. She had some thinking to do and walking helped her think. She just wished the spring weather would hold for more than a few days at a time. It took so long for spring to start.

She walked in the courtyard, hemmed by three walls of the main building and a tall stone fence. Pan always thought a courtyard should be enclosed entirely by the living space of a building. She thought the fence disqualified their space for courtyard status, but what did she know?

Focus. You know that someone likes to murder reapers.

Pan traced a path along the outskirts but didn’t hug the wall. She would pass too close to the mentors’ special breakfast in their lounge. Large windows gave Pan a perfect view. If she could see their morning meal, they could see her, pacing the garden, round and round. When she approached their space, she tensed. As she walked away, she relaxed.

Pan circled to the edge of the backyard. She moved slowly by the stone wall. Budding leaves and sprouting flowers threatened to block her view across the open space, but they had a long way to go – a lot of growing to do. Pan could see the mentors’ windows. At least, from that distance, she couldn’t see in.

Pan paused her walk and lingered behind a shoot of branches. She could almost fancy herself miles away from the complex, isolated in the back corner.

She looked to the center of the garden and studied the space’s main attraction: a giant basin. In days gone by, the basin served as a ceremonial bathtub, one that everyone could see. If Pan walked close, she would find the spigot and faucet, still in place. Some of the guys swore the plumbing still worked. But, when she’d been alone with Sotir, he just smiled and shook his head.

Sotir.

Pan no longer worried that he would discover her. She’d chastised him for his actions, a kind of spying on future Pan. Pan drew in a long breath and let it out. It would be so much easier just to tell him what she was, but she couldn’t see the future. She couldn’t predict his reaction.

How can he study me and not see it? Pan shook her head. How could any of them know her and not see? Aria included. From Pan’s point of view, her reaperhood was so obvious.

Who is this mysterious person who finds and judges reapers? Why did they miss me?

Pan had an urge to ask the mentors for help. They always said they were there to deal with the difficult questions. This one certainly qualified. But, Pan never availed herself of their help before, she couldn’t start now.

Pan resumed her walk. She stopped just ahead of their windows. She stared. She recognized Spy’s walker. The woman sat with her back to one of the windows. Pan searched for her other mentors. She spotted Kat. Kat faced the window, but her eyes were on a male mentor. She looked angry or stern. Chara laughed beside a man. She touched his arm. Pan frowned. That didn’t seem right. Chara was married. Pan looked away. She sought Brynn. A group of five men surrounded Brynn, and Pan only knew she’d found Brynn by the top of her staff. Breakfast in the mentor’s lounge seemed…nice.

Can I trust you? Any of you?

A window shot open, and Pan jumped. She found herself right beside it, standing in the mulch of a garden.

A man leaned out and looked her over. He seemed old and a bit too decrepit to lay down the law, but Pan feared him and his get-off-my-lawn gaze, just the same. Beside the man, stood Pan’s very own mentors, Brynn and Kat. 

“Something we can help you with, Pan?” Brynn asked.

Pan bit her lower lip. “I seem to have wandered into the garden.”

Brynn smiled. Kat narrowed her eyes. The man, an unknown, just frowned.

Peeping Pan. That’s what they’d call her, probably for the rest of her days. Pan resolved to live outside the Complex as soon as she could. Maybe, she should be Sotir’s roommate after all. She might find herself in the middle of an old sitcom, trying to hide her reaperhood from him. That could be kind of fun.

Did you just levitate that laundry basket? – Sotir would ask.

No, I can’t levitate anything. I’m a ghost seer. – Pan would flash her innocent face.

You know I’ve looked into your past, and you seem really into dead bodies…

Another window opened. Pan jumped back.

Chara and Spy leaned out.

Kat laughed. “Pan, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m...” Pan shrugged. “Looking in the windows.”

Kat rolled her eyes and put her hand to her head. “At least you’re honest about it. Now, why are you looking in the windows? You do know this is supposed to be a lounge for mentors? Do we have to draw the curtains?”

Pan considered a curtained lounge. They probably should draw the curtains since she could see them so easily at their private breakfast. But, Pan preferred for the curtains to stay open. If they drew the curtains, anything could happen behind them. Pan imagined secret meetings about reaper murder.

“Why would you need to draw the curtains?” Pan asked.

Brynn sniffed. She stifled a laugh.

Chara just stared, and Spy opened yet another window to peer out at Pan, looking like she didn’t quite believe it.

Spy shook her head. “Pan, you’ve been a handful this week. First, you didn’t report. Now, you’re peeping at us. I love you dear, but if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to send me to an early death.”

This does look suspicious…

“I’m hungry,” Pan said. “I saw your food, and I was just daydreaming about knocking on your window to ask for some.”

Kat rubbed her neck. “Pan.”

Brynn disappeared from the window. She returned with a tart and a grin. “Here you go.”

Pan’s eyes widened. She rushed forward and took the tart. With a smile, she said, “Oh, thank you. Mentor food is so sophisticated.” Pan studied the tart and its glistening sugar.

Chara rubbed her cheek. “You’ve got a ways to go still before you get more of that...”

Pan nodded. “I’ve years.” She held her prize and turned to go. “Oh, I was hoping to see Sotir at breakfast. Aria too. Where are they?” Pan knew Sotir had a big job. She was surprised to find Aria gone.

A man sighed. “I’m afraid Sotir may be gone a while, dear. Two, maybe three weeks.”

“Oh,” Pan said. “What about Aria?”

Kat shook her head. “Same.”

“Are you lonely?” Brynn asked. “Do you want to have lunch with me today? I’ll bring mentor food.”

Pan smiled. “No thanks. I can’t be fed on a steady diet of mentor food. I’ll become like a spoiled pet.”

“That you would.” Brynn reached for a window handle.

Mentors pulled back from the windows. They resumed their conversations. One by one, the windows closed. Spy and Kat left. Brynn waved her goodbye. Only Chara remained. She glanced behind her. Then, she leaned out.

“Come a little closer, Pan.” Chara curled her finger and beckoned Pan near.

Pan, with half a tart in her mouth, approached Chara.

“I worry about you sometimes. You only seem to have Aria and Sotir for friends.” Chara spoke low. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

Pan swallowed. “It’s a…little late to ask. This kind of intervention was needed when I was thirteen and bad at making friends.”

Sometimes, Pan felt lonely, but the loneliness fueled her hobbies, art for one. She’d drawn so many nightmares, she could make a lucrative side-business doing monster design for movies and haunted houses. She probably should. Pan put the thought away for later.

Pain entered Chara’s eyes. “It’s hard to have a job where you don’t work with a lot of other arcanes. It’s isolating. That’s you and Aria both. When you were young, you both got up to speed so fast, I didn’t think about how things might be hard for you.”

Pan shook her head. “You don’t have to have regrets about it. I’m fine, and Aria gets lots of social interaction. We just need a few good friends.”

Chara smiled. “I’m a good friend of yours, Pan. I hope you’ll remember that. I know you don’t want to eat lunch with Brynn, but I’m offering. I won’t bring mentor food.”

Pan’s heart leapt than sank. “I would, but I planned to work on a drawing.” In a way, Pan didn’t lie. She would sketch a view of the past. Pan looked at her tart. “And after this tart, I probably shouldn’t eat much till dinner.”

Chara laughed. “Fair enough. Brynn gave you the most fattening thing in here. Too many calories for me.”

“I’m happy to save you the trouble.” Pan took her tart and wandered back into the garden.

 

“Hello.” Kat stood in Pan’s doorway. She’d taken the liberty of opening it herself. “May I come in?” Kat didn’t wait for an answer. She just crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her.

Pan sat on her bed and drew. At least, she drew, until Kat popped into her room. With wide eyes, she glanced around her room. All her reaper research lay concealed.

Kat walked to Pan’s desk and sat down. Pan’s reaper drawings were inside the drawer. She couldn’t find her words to begin a conversation.

Luckily, Kat had plenty. “I’d like to talk about the situation at the hospital. I want you to tell me exactly what happened because you haven’t been yourself since then. And, you went on the ward yesterday. Why? That’s not like you.”

Pan needed to figure something out. Kat would likely report back to the other mentors. Pan had a chance to avert all suspicion from herself. She mustn’t waste it.

Or, she could tell the truth.

No. Don’t tangle the lies…tell her the same you told Sotir.

Pan put her pencil down and hugged her knees. “When I finished my hospital job, I was pretty happy with myself. It went smooth, and everyone was satisfied. I walked a bit out of my way because I found the main exit blocked. And then, I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was going. I ended up in the Palliative Care ward.” Pan paused, recalling the details of the lie. They had to match. “I met a ghost, just like Sotir said I would.”

Kat leaned forward. She listened hard, harder than any mentor had listened to Pan in a while – maybe ever.

“The ghost didn’t try to hurt me or take me away like he suggested it would. Instead, it just acted like a regular ghost…but it wasn’t. It was the ghost of child, from two arcanes bred together. I think it’s life must have been horrible.” Pan shrugged. “I went back to the arcane ward as an excuse to see it again. But, the ghost was gone.”

Kat knit her brow. “Why would this warrant a prediction from Sotir?”

Pan looked at her unfinished drawing. It was a monster as usual, but one from Pan’s own imagination – a thing of darkness, polluting a hospital. Long arms reached for an empty bed.

“Sotir has been pressuring me to live offsite, with him, as roommates,” Pan said. “Naturally, I would be less willing to do that after seeing that arcane child’s ghost.” Pan smoothed eraser shavings off her drawing. “He warned me against the hospital because it was against his interests.”

Kat’s eyes went wide. Her mouth dropped open. “You tell me if Sotir bothers you again.”

Pan shook her head. “He doesn’t bother me. I can handle him just fine.”

Kat stood up. “You don’t know what that man is capable of. You let me handle him.” Kat turned to go.

“No, wait,” Pan stammered. “I like Sotir. I don’t want to never see him again.”

“Pan.” Kat approached Pan’s bedside. “Sotir is known for getting his way. I don’t want you to live with him. You can still be friends with him, but you should keep your distance.”

Pan frowned. “He’s not like that. He makes these mistakes innocently.” Unlike me. I plan them. “He didn’t want me to go to the hospital because he thought I would be in genuine danger. He didn’t realize that I dropped off his radar because of a…life-changing…choice.” That made their relationship sound concerning.

Kat let out a long breath. “It is a good thing you two will be separated for a while. I don’t like the sound of this at all. And, I think I know just the thing to fix it.”

Pan narrowed her eyes. “What?” She had her riddle in the clear but now she needed to protect her Sotir.

“I think now might be a good time for you to start casually dating. There are a lot of young men in law enforcement we could match you off with. That’ll stop Sotir from chasing you.”

Pan’s mouth dropped open. “I’m way too young to go on a family balance plan.”

“Yes, but you’re not way too young to pick someone and stick to him.” Kat walked out the door and closed it behind her.

Dating? Pan preferred to wait till she was twenty-nine. She’d happily let them pick a spouse for her. A man was a man. Well, maybe not every man.

“What a situation I’ve gotten myself into.” Pan shook her head and looked at an old stuffed animal. “I’m not giving up on it. I’m going to find out who murders reapers, and I’m going to avoid those dates. Just you watch. I’ve got the perfect solution.”

The animal, of course, said nothing, but it looked confident.