Prologue.

It was just another typical day.

“Yes!”

“Oh yes!”

“Fuck me!”

“Fuck me harder!”

“Right there! OoOoOoOo~”

“Fuck me like the dirty whore I am!”

“Yes Yes YES YES!”

“That’s it baby. Almost there!”

One might misunderstand if that is the first thing they hear and immediately think of sex. Well, they wouldn’t be wrong. But as for who was having sex, that was another story altogether.

Before my eyes was a hung stud, madly pounding away at a scantily dressed woman. When I say, ‘before my eyes,’ I naturally mean on my smartphone screen in my left hand. As for my right hand, well, there’s no need to go into too much detail.

You could say it was just business. It was always just business for me. Getting it over with so I could get on with my day. It didn’t even feel that great anymore. It was just part of the typical routine these days to help me stay clear-headed. It was nothing more than an altruistic ritual by this point in my life.

Once the ritual was over I didn’t feel anything in particular. I’d grown numb to the sensation after how many times I’d done it. It was honestly stale.

I’d never had sex before, but I wasn’t particularly interested in having sex with anyone. That didn’t mean I wasn’t curious about how it felt, however, I wasn’t motivated enough to expend energy to find a partner to have sex with. In all honesty, I just didn’t find women that attractive. These days, it was honestly a struggle to even get turned on. But despite it being a struggle, I did the deed on a daily basis simply out of habit.

Women were too much of a pain in the ass to deal with, I’d thought this way from a young age.

“Oh shit! Oh shit! Cumming! I’m cumming~ cum inside! Fill me to the brim, baby! Yeah, that’s right. Use me like the dirty little cum dumpster I am. Ah! Ah! Fuck! Yes! Yes!” The woman’s body convulsed, her legs wrapped tightly around the man’s waist locking him in place as his body twitched.

I’d gotten pretty good at controlling when I finished, so I synced up with the two in the video. When it was over, I paused the video and sighed, “Haaaaaaaah.”

Orgasms really weren’t the same these days. I stood up from the bed and tossed the used paper towel in the garbage.

Over the years I’d tried out various different methods to get off, but in the end, that fresh feeling that came with a new technique inevitably waned over time. However, I knew there was a path I’d never ventured down. I’d been a cheapskate my entire life and I’d never been willing to pay for that sort of thing. Still, I knew it was probably my only hope.

For years, I’d wanted to try one if not just once. But it was too embarrassing to buy it. I also didn’t want to pay just to get off.

But with today’s lackluster climax, I finally resolved myself. I wanted it to feel pleasurable again. Thus, I went to a certain website that often ran sponsored ads with promotional codes and ordered one 50% off.

I took in a deep breath as my thumb hovered over the complete order button on my phone. 

After an immense internal struggle, I eventually worked up the resolve to lower my thumb to the screen. The process took less than five minutes, but it was a decision that took several years to make. At last, my long journey had come to an end. With that journey’s end, was a new beginning in my life. A new door was slowly opening to me, I just didn’t know it.

On the screen, the item I ordered was listed. It brought a single tear to my eye. It wasn’t from sadness, it was born from excitement. I could hardly wait for it to get here.

Bang & Blow Deep Throat Super Stroker - White

My future wife.

Who needs a woman when you’ve got a sex toy that can perform the same job?

KiraMinoru

This is just an April Fool's meme. The only way I'd seriously consider forcing myself to write more of this is if it got a stupid amount of readers like 1000. Please don't make me write this.