My head was spinning. What was I thinking of? Acting like a brute with her. Again. How the hell did it get to this, when all I was looking was talking to her? And about something completely different, no less.
Why on earth do I behave like an asshole around her?
I closed the door to my room, staring blankly ahead.
Her warmth, though. The wildness of her eyes and the strength of her words.
Why did she always have to touch a nerve?
I didn’t like what she said to me. But then again, what does she know? She is constantly getting angry and suddenly, there she is, speaking so maturely. Like everything I have done was wrong and she was the judge elected to pass on my sentence.
*And I hope that one day, you will be able to forgive yourself, for all the pain you’ve caused to other. And to yourself.*
What does she know, after all?
If only she knew…
That girl.
I laid on the bed, trying to get her out of my mind. Fortunately, my phone rung and I answered it so fast, I didn’t even check who was calling me.
“We have a serious problem.” A rough voice spoke.
I instantly got to my feet, holding my breath.
“What happened?”
“It’s related to those five projects, you asked us to protect.”
“What about them?”
“One of them was destroyed and stolen by the competitors.”
Shit.
I closed my eyes and all I could see was Mia’s face. Her pain and rage… and the chaos she would bring upon everyone around her.
“Alex… I’m sorry.”
“Please tell me this is just a misunderstanding.”
“Unfortunately, it is not.”
“How?”
“I think you should come here.”
A short pause followed. I knew I had to be patient until I’d found out what happened.
“I’m on my way.”
I ended the conversation, picked up my car keys and left, barely able to hold in the outrage and hate that had started growing inside me. How did it happen? We sent dozens of our own to protect them. How?! Where did I fail? What did I not see?
Storming down the stairs, I heard voices. I immediately recognized one of them, making my stomach twist itself into a knot.
My sister, Lauren and Mia were in the living room, ready to leave the house, heading on to the garden, most likely. They stopped when I passed by, but I didn’t have the courage to look at them. At her. How would I tell her?
*Coward*
That’s what she thought of me. And perhaps she was right to do it.
“Alex!” Andrea shouted after me.
I closed the door, got in the car and drove.
When I arrived at Erick’s building, I parked the car and headed to his office, which occupied an entire floor. That was by design, so that no one would get the chance to become involved in his business. I tried to calm myself. I needed to be calm, in order to be able to solve this problem. Or salvage what remained of it.
While heading to his office, I found myself thinking about what Mia said, regarding emotions and manipulations. I couldn't understand how someone could get over a phase or focus on an action, if they let their feelings get in their way. How could you think about the next steps clearly, if you let your feelings dictate your decision? Precisely because in the more sensible situations, feelings are in contradiction with logic.
When the elevator stopped and opened its doors on the 3rd floor, a fifty years old man was waiting for me, with a worried face and wrinkled clothes.
My look softened at the appearance of the face I had loved since I was ten years old. He looked at me with affection and concern and I couldn't help but smile at him. So caught up in this chaos, I wondered how long has it had been since we had last relaxed, enjoying each other's company. Since we last sat in the chairs from his garden, drinking a glass of whiskey and talking about the so many things we always ended up talking about. And then falling asleep, right then and there, dizzy from the drinking.
His own son died when he was fourteen, beaten to death by a gang of drug addicted vagrants. It was winter. John was left alone in the family car, while Erik and his wife went to pick up the dinner they ordered. Erik forgot to lock the car, rushing to the restaurant. His son was taken by surprised, by those three attackers. For whatever drug-induced reasons, they busted into the car and beat John to death, leaving him lying with his eyes open on the blood-soaked bench.
When Erik and his wife got back and discovered their son’s corpse, Erik's wife had a fit of hysteria, fainting on the dirty snow. Erik had been in a state of shock for two weeks. He didn’t cry, he didn’t speak to anyone and he didn’t understand what was happening around him. Even though he knew why his child was no more. His wife left him short after that, never to return.
After many months of investigation, the police found the attackers and Erik learned that it had been a vendetta against him, by a man who he had put in jail. Long before John’s birth.
It had been his first case as a lawyer.
The old man could never forgive himself for this, throwing himself into his work, tormenting himself to his limits. All as a way to punish himself. He opened up a law firm and worked tirelessly, until he owned a luxurious building, full of famous lawyers.
But none of that filled the whole in his heart.
John and I had been about the same age and we got along well. We were both passionate about books, politics, businesses and all the moving parts we considered important, in order to become a well-rounded person. We wanted to be happy and we promised each other that we would fight for this goal. We also promised that we would be careful with ourselves, working hard for what we really want, but not hard enough to endanger our health. That's what we thought was the most important in life. To be happy.
After his death, all those promises died with him. John looked a lot like Erik. The face and the attitude. They had almost the same voice and that's why, after John's death, I tried to get closer to Erik. It made me feel like John wasn’t completely gone, like he left a small piece of him on this world.
Erik was Bruce’s best friend. Bruce, the man I gave up calling ‘father’, the day that John died. I’ve never understood the friendship between Erik and Bruce, given that they were so different. The old man was kind and affectionate. Bruce, on the other hand, was a brute, lacking feelings and full to the top with greed. And yet, Erik was always by his side.
“Old man.” I said affectionately, laying my hand gently on his burdened back.
“Son, I don’t know how this happened. It just…”
“It’s alright. This risk was taken into consideration, when the Alliance was created. We must not be overwhelmed by our failures, especially if we don’t know what it is we’re facing. All we can do is to try harder and fight with what’s on the table.” I said, trying to calm him down.
I didn't want him to feel guilty about another death.
In the beginning, I didn’t agree that Erik should be involved with this movement, given the fact that I was very much aware of the consequences. I knew that eventually it would result in more deaths. I could not bear to know him involved in another tragedy.
Therefore, I objected, until a mutual friend informed me that he has started looking for young people, among the demolished bricks, burying their bodies. I shuddered at the news, realizing that the only way to stop him from doing that was to involve him in something less tragic. This way I could always have him under my observation.
We reached his office and sat around the table, next to his desk. He looked at me worriedly and shook his head disapprovingly.
“What are you doing to yourself, Alex?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, yes you do. You know.”
“I could ask you the same thing, old man. Why don’t you rest? Why don't you call someone to help you, when you clearly need it?”
“I can handle it.”
“Me too. Or wasn’t that part of what you taught me?”
He sighted, smiling warmly.
“Gods above!”
“And beyond them.”
He laughed.
“Nobody ever stops you, don’t they?” He asked.
“I guess not.”
“Until one day, boy. Until one day.” He talked in circles.
Mia suddenly came to mind, but I quickly dismissed the thought.
“How did it happen?” I’ve changed the subject.
“This group, is it important to you, correct?”
“Indirectly, yes.”
“I see.” He said meditatively, analyzing me carefully, which made me want to sink into my chair.
How the hell does he still manage to do this to me?
"They have stayed in the same house since they took refuge, after the forest incident. It happened at night, when our people found her in the yard, lingering in a chair. They thought she was asleep. She sat like that for about thirty minutes, motionless. It was indeed strange for our agents, but it didn’t represent an imminent danger. That is why they were not on alert, for more than a quarter of an hour."
I frowned when I heard that.
“They need to be on constant alert, Erik. This is why we pay so much money, for such a large number of soldiers.”
“I know. And they found that out themselves, after the meeting they had with the Mayor.”
If the mayor himself took care of their mistake, I don’t want to know how they found out. He was a grim man. Though. One who fully understood the sacrifices you had to make, when you held such a position. And Mia's words echoed in my head again.
It was getting quite irritating and distracting already.
“I’ll move on with what happened. After those fifteen minutes passes, the girl suddenly fell out of her chair, motionless. We believe that she had already been dead by that point. As if… someone had deliberately placed her there. When our agents were about to go get her, three individuals appeared out of nowhere and took her with them."
“What do you mean they ‘appeared out of nowhere’? Wasn’t the area secured, before our men took up their posts?
“Yes. It was.” He said gravely.
I knew, just by the look of him, that he was about to tell me something that would shake down our will and drive it into the ground.
“How did they show up?”
“From above.”
…
“From above.” He repeated, perhaps sensing my disbelief.
“And the kidnapping itself, lasted under three seconds, our report says.”
I couldn't say anything more. What else could you say, hearing something like that?
The girl was dead.
“Carry on.”
That was all I managed to say.
“And this is not all. But I’ll let the record speak for itself.”
He turned his laptop over to me and started the video on display. Indeed, the abduction lasted for only three seconds perhaps, the rest of the recording showing the confusion that followed the incident.
Those first seconds were the easiest to understand, though very difficult to accept. The girl was laying on the ground, when a massively tall, muscular guy appeared from directly above, accompanied by two other soldiers, carrying them on his back.
When the three landed on the ground, that same guy took the girl and flew back with her, while the other two forced their way into the house. Our agents ran in after them, focused on saving the rest of the group. Shots were heard, along with a male voice, shouting someone's name.
The silver lining was that no one else from the group died. However, neither of the attackers survived, so we had no chance to interrogate them. One was killed by our soldiers, while the other was beheaded by a jaguar.
I leaned back in my chair, trying to assimilate all this information and come up with a plan. Erik beat me to the punch.
"We know that, as precited, they have strong individuals among their own and are constantly looking for strength. They’re building an army. According to the latest reports, eighty-nine people have already been abducted and that number is growing rapidly."
"They must have a laboratory where they do their tests. Meaning that most of the useful information could be found there." I continued.
We looked at each other, thinking the same thing.
“No, it’s too dangerous.” I said.
“True.”
“No, Erik. We need to find another way. We can’t risk the lives of our colleagues. At least, not in such a way, where the chances of survival are miniscule.”
"I am the last person to risk another life being lost." He said firmly.
“I know… I know. We need to meet with the others and discuss this matter.”
“Alex.”
He looked at me like I was a fragile child. I didn't understand the look he kept throwing at me, nor the careful tone of his voice.
“Son, do you have something to tell me?”
“You know everything.” I lied.
“I know everything, except something.”
He knew about Mia's group, but he didn't know about Mia. He didn't know the nightmares I had about her, nor that she was living in my house. The voice always had warned me. Keep her secret, keep her in your "family". I found out only later that the ‘family’ was actually the group that formed over time.
It was hard for me to keep secrets from Erik. But I thought it was the only way I could keep him out of the war. The less anyone knew about Mia, the lower the chances of them finding her, giving me more time to understand what the hell was going on and what was I to do about her.
“Why do you say that?”
“Why are you so fiercely protecting this group and not another? Why did the possible death of the girl in this group affected you so?”
"It's an acquaintance." I told a fib.
“An important one?”
“Not really.”
“So, she is important, but indirectly.”
The old man was smart enough to be always finding out my secrets, even before I knew I had one. I sighed. I’ve always known that, one day, I would regret that he knew me better than I knew myself.
That day has finally come.
“Yes, she’s indirectly important to me, because she’s only an acquaintance.”
“And when you say ‘indirectly’, do you mean that the girl is a friend of someone important to you? Because otherwise, I can't explain the term you insist on using.”
I sighted and, in shame, I lied to him again.
“She’s just an important piece in our plan.”
“Aha! Just an important piece, you’re saying.”
“Yes.”
"Good, then." He said suddenly, smiling happily. "Otherwise, I would have thought that the girl had been kidnapped just to get someone out of the hole he's been hiding in." He said, in a playful tone. Just as he always did, when he wanted to let me know that he knew my secret, but that agreed to go along with the lie.
I sighted, helpless.
“I trust you, son.” He told me seriously.
“And I trust you, old man.”
“How’s Andrea?”
“Busy with her business, the training.”
“How’s she handling her powers?”
"She’s still discovering them, but making progress in controlling them."
“And you?”
“You know me.” I said smiling.
“That’s my boy. And… what about your father?”
“I don’t care.”
“I see.” He sighted. “Is he planning to come back here?”
“I hope not.”
“Alex, look…”
“End of discussion, Erik.”
He frowned, but didn’t push the subject.
“As you wish.”
“See you tonight at the meeting, alright?”
“9 PM. See you there, boy.”
I got up and shook his hand. No matter how much I liked to have him around, I had to get home, to face the hell that Mia was about to unleash. I was prepared for any catastrophe, except for this.
In fact… I don't think I've ever been prepared for anything that involves her. It was frustrating and always kept me out of balance.
As I drove back, I tried to find a way of telling her everything. Was there a suitable method to deliver such news? Didn’t think so. How could I open the topic? If I were to tell her directly, would she accuse me of being insensitive again? Or, if I were to tell her the truth, yet in a roundabout way, would she accuse me of trying to manipulate her? How the hell was I supposed to deal with this girl? Her actions contradicted her words. Did she also feel in contradiction to her own thoughts? Was there any logic to her thoughts, her words? Lord knows…
Why me? Why did I have to be the one to find her? So many questions without answers and her mere presence was the most important and difficult question of them all.
If there was a God, then he had to intervene.
…
That girl.
I parked the car and entered the house, with my heart pounding out of my chest. I searched their minds and found they’ve all trained. Mia was in her room, which was fine for the time being. Suddenly, the previous incident came to the forefront of my mind, eliciting discomfort. I was ashamed of my outburst to Mia. Why did I tell her all that? It's not like I wanted her to understand me. And I certainly didn't expect anything from her either.
She didn’t push me away. She didn’t reject me. Why did she let me get so close to her? Why was she trembling? Because she was afraid of me, that’s why. No. No, it wasn’t that. Not her style, apparently. She would have fried me in a second. Be it as it may, it didn’t matter that much, with all the other problems I had to deal with.
As I was climbing the stairs, the front door opened. Selena hurried in, leaning against the doorframe.
“Selena? Are you-”
I hurried to catch her, before she fell to the floor. I raised her up, in my arms and carried her to the couch.
“Selena, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
She was pale, holding her head with both her hands.
“Alex.” She said, like she just then realized that I was near her.
“Where does it hurt?”
“I have a headache. Nothing serious, really.”
“It looks serious. Is it because of the training?”
“What training?” She asked, looking at me askance, as I did to her. “Oh. Oh, yes. Probably.”
“Where are you coming from? Were you training?”
“Uh, yes. It’s much too hot outside. I just have to get some rest. And water.”
She wasn’t acting like herself lately, but I had thought it was because of Mia, mostly. The training as well, since it required all her focus and placed her mind under a lot of stress.
But I didn’t want to risk it.
“Can I take a look?”
She looked at me confused, but then nodded her head, like she understood what I’ve asked of her. I placed my hand on her forehead and eased my way into her mind. It was quite unclear and chaotic in places, which had me worried immediately. A lot of gaps between events and… something that was resisting me.
…how? Was it her?
“Why are you resisting?”
“I’m not.” she said, dreamily, at first. “Why, is there something wrong?” she asked, becoming alarmed.
“No, no. Nothing to be worried about. Indeed, it seems it has something to do with you being tired.” I lied.
“Oh, good. You had me worried there, for a second.”
“Sorry. And thank you for allowing me to.”
She looked at me and I knew we were about to have that kind of discussion. Because I’m the asshole.
“Are you OK?” She carefully asked.
“Yes. Always. Don’t worry about me.”
“But unfortunately, I do.”
Unfortunately.
“I’m sorry if I was more absent than normally. It’s just that… things are starting to get complicated.”
“She.” She said, with a hard voice.
“Among others.”
“Especially her.” She insisted.
“And you know the reasons.”
“Some of them, apparently. Are you keeping the rest close to heart or are you still deluding yourself that they don’t exist?”
Her unexpected, yet honest, question caught me flat-footed, drowning my words before I could utter them.
“Caught you, didn’t I?” She smiled bitterly, voice shaking.
I wanted to contradict her, but before I could, the earlier event with Mia flashed in my mind. I truly did not know what to say, since I myself was not sure of what was happening. When did things spin out of my control? What did I lose sight of? Selena’s feelings or mine?
“Selena, honestly, I’m not sure what is happening. So many things are changing, all at once, that I see myself forced to admit that I can’t keep up with them. But I will promise you is this. I will always do what I can to keep you all safe.”
“You are a child.”
“…what?”
I had expected anything, but that. A child?!
“You don’t get it, do you?”
She studied me closely, like I was some new insect species, freshly discovered by scientists.
“I most certainly do not.”
“When was the last time you felt anything?”
“Felt?”
“Emotions, Alex. When was the last time you experienced something else other than sadness, loneliness, hate? Or a disturbing amount of paranoia?”
“I’m honestly not understanding the question. I’m obviously always experiencing emotions, of all kinds. I’m only human.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Let’s talk about this in a few months.”
“Selena, wait. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, for a long time now, but I never found the chance.”
“Or the courage.”
What is with this day, anyway? First Mia, now Selena. The world is burning down around us and here we are, enacting dramas.
“Look, you know that my main concern is to keep you all safe and to help this world as much as I can. I know that sometimes I don’t do a perfect job at it, but despite what can be seen on the surface, I’m truly doing what I think is best. I try to be rational and not subjective in any way. I don’t want… to hurt you. You’re too important to me, Selena.”
“But not in that way.”
“No… not in that way.”
She turned her head to the left and got up from the couch.
“Selena…”
“I’m going to get some rest. I won’t be coming to training today.”
“Sure, whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want…” she sarcastically said and left.
I sat there, gathering my remaining strength, in order to be able of dragging myself to my room. I finally stood up, about to start climbing the stairs, when I suddenly saw Mia coming down them. I stopped and she just passed me by, without giving so much as a look. I didn’t stop her, but I did look after her. She was heading to the garden, most likely.
I lingered a moment, trying to get my thoughts in order. I realized, in that moment, that I simply didn’t care enough if it was the optimal time and place, so I headed after her. I could feel my head pounding from so much stress and adrenaline. I couldn’t keep the information to myself for a second longer.
When I reached the garden, I quickly took a look around, to see if there was anyone else there, but, happily, I couldn’t detect another presence. She stopped near the waterfall and kept her face pointing at the sky. I imitated her gesture, preparing for a confrontation.
“Mia.”
She jumped, turning towards me by a fraction and then turning her back again.
“Can we talk?”
“Why? I thought you have no regrets.”
Of course, she just had to touch that nerve again. But I didn’t let myself get distracted by her words. It wasn’t the time.
“Mia, this is serious.”
She turned around, looking concerned.
“Karl?” she asked, hopeful and fearful in equal measures.
“No, not Karl. It’s about someone else.”
She was analyzing me, unmoving, seeming like she had been anticipating the gravity of the news.
“I know that you don’t trust me, but I need you to remain as rational as possible.”
That almost felt like I was imploring her and I hoped I managed to keep my voice neutral.
“Say it.”
“During this time, I asked a few of our own to keep an eye out and to protect your group of friends.”
She came closer to me, eyes wide and face pale.
“Allaya? Where are they? Are they ok? Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“Please, be calm. It wasn’t easy to find them, given that they hid quite quickly after the accident from the forest.”
“Say it already!” she screamed.
“Elise is…” I was drowning in my own words. “She’s dead.”
She stopped moving, tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes boring holes in me.
“They took her corpse. And I…”
I couldn’t gather my thoughts. I was looking at her, wanting to get closer, hold her and comfort her. But I couldn’t move. Her lack of reaction, besides the tears, made my blood pressure go up.
“Mia… say something.”
The only moving thing on her entire being were her tears. And then, her lightnings. Small, but getting bigger by the second. More kept coming out of her.
“You…” She said accusingly.
It’s happening. Disaster was inbound.
“You did this!”
And then the storm started.
