Darkness...
I look around me to see total darkness. A sight I'm all too familiar with.
I wonder how many times I've been here already.
I await what comes next while reflecting on what led up to here.
“Yep, I think I died…”
Namely, what led to my death.
It was one of the more common ones, really. Dying after being persecuted and eaten alive by a chaotic dragon god. Sometimes death can come in very grotesque ways. Bioweapons, burned at a stake, dissected alive, and so forth.
I've died so many times.
I envy those who can rest peacefully for their eternity. I have to spend mine suffering in worlds I barely want to be in.
I've grown so tired of it all. I'm not even sad over my death, I don't even remember the last time I've felt anything about my death. I’ve gotten numb to such situations.
That's not the only thing I've lost. Joy, sadness, anger...I rarely feel any of them anymore. The only thing I find myself feeling most of the time is apathy.
There’s one thing I've not numbed to though, and I probably never will.
Pain.
No matter how much pain you go through, you never go numb to it. Pain is a fierce sensation that eats you up from the inside and nothing can stop it. I've died so many times, and yet the pain I feel each time is just as vivid as the last. No matter how many lives I’ve lived, I always end up being riddled with pain at some point and subsequently encounter death.
Nowadays, the only worlds I truly relish are the ones completely devoid of people, of anything. Empty worlds that I get transported to, where I can lay down and relax. In those worlds, I don't have to care about anyone or anything. I can rest peacefully, at least until I die once more and find myself in another monotonous world. However, those types of worlds are few and far between.
Perhaps I’ll just start counting sheep until I reincarnate, get transported into another world, or whatever.
One sheep…
Two sheep…
Three sheep...
Oh dear, is it time to go already?
If only I could stay here for eternity, or at the very least get transported into an empty world this time.
Though, I suppose that's too much to ask for, isn't it?
