Rimuru- “So this is what happens if you don’t have an Uno Reverse Card on you when someone calls your mom gay…”

Taking this as a life lesson, I watch as Charybdis crashes into the ground and breathes its last… for about 3 seconds.

From my pocket, I bring out a gun and shoot the dead Charybdis.

*BANG!*

Charybdis- “Skreeeeeeee!”

And now he’s alive again.

Sick.

Meanwhile, Charybdis now realises how fucked its situation is.

Rimuru- “Let’s go back, bud.”

Sitting in a comfortable position, I pat Rangas back, signalling to him that our turn is over.

Ranga- ‘Understood, Master!’

With an eager reply, Ranga pauses mid-air for a moment before the surroundings shift and we both teleport back into the small clearing in the middle of the forest. Waiting for us is Illya, Milim and Mikoto.

Illya- “Onii-chan!”

Illya excitedly runs up and jumps into me for a hug. I pat her head with a smile and open my mouth.

Rimuru- “So? How long did I take?”

Illya- “3 minutes and 5 seconds.”

Illya informs me while purring from my headpats.

Milim- “We’re racing!? Then I’ll beat that guy up in under a minute!”

Mikoto- “But we’re not competing?”

Rimuru- “Eh!? We’re not!?”

I look at Mikoto with a shocked face as she looks at me before sighing and covering her face with her palm.

Mikoto- “I guess we are now…”

*FLASH!*

With a burst of her aura, the wind around her gets pushed away as her whole body gets covered with her pink magicules for a split second. Immediately after, the light disappears and Milim is standing there in her… skimpy… Demon Lord attire.

Milim- “Then I'm going on ahead!”

She bends her knees and pushes off the ground, rocketing towards the recovered Charybdis.

Charybdis, being affected by Phobio intelligence, immediately forgets about the death it just experienced and continued looking for more shit to destroy. I wonder why it, I don’t know, DOESN’T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO DESTROY THE FOREST OR SOMETHING, but I'm sure it has its own reasoning.

Milim quickly reaches an altitude of a couple of hundred meters in the air, level with Charybdis’ eye. With its size, it seems quite close to her, but Milim is actually flying quite a distance away.

Regardless, Charybdis notices the small figure and charges up its eye laser beam. Milim smirks, not bothering to move at all.

*THOOOM!*

The beam of pure energy rushes towards Milim, completely dwarfing her due to its sheer size. But…

*BAM!*

Milim simply holds out her hand in front of her. The energy beam hits it before splitting, flying into multiple random directions with much less power than before. I mean, the ground doesn’t even explode from the few lasers that hit it.

Soon the beam dies down, revealing an unharmed Demon Lord loli. If there’s anything that COULD be called damage, it would be her hand that took the entirely of the attack. It is now emitting steam.

That’s it.

Milim’s smirk gets wider and she begins to move her magicules around her.

Milim- “This is… what you call an attack!”

She raises her arms above her and in between her palms, a small concentration of magicules begin to gather.

Don’t get me wrong, when I say ‘small’, I mean its size. The amount of energy it contains is anything but small.

Magicules from all over the area rushes towards Milim only to become compressed in the ball of highly dense magicules. It begins to brighten until it eventually could become likened to a bright star in the night sky.

It’s noon, by the way.

She throws her hands out in front of her Kamehameha style while screaming out her attack.

Milim- “DRAGO BUSTEEERRR!!!”

*V-V-V-v-v-vum…*

Multiple arcs of energy shoot out, vibrating the air it passes through, creating a unique sound.

Each of the arcs of energy hit different parts of Charybdis’ body. They all create a small flash of light, quickly disappearing…

*B-B-B-B-BOOOOOOOOOOM!*

… before Charybdis fucking explodes.

Bringing out the Revival Gun I randomly made, I once again shoot the area Charybdis was just in. I mean, it’s currently vaporised, so it doesn’t have a body I can shoot it with.

But Charybdis appears once again, completely fine.

Mikoto looks at the gun in my hand and opens her mouth.

Rimuru- “Don’t question it.”

Mikoto- “B-but-“

Rimuru- “Shhhhh… it’s ok… I understand. There are just some things you shouldn’t bother asking about…”

Mikoto decides to heed my advice and close her mouth.

*Whoom!*

Hitting the ground in a three-point landing, Milim returns back to us.

Milim- “I win! Wahahaha!”

Rimuru- “Not even 30 seconds, as expected of you!”

Illya is indisposed under my headpats, currently cuddling up to me and rubbing her cheeks on my chest, so I take it upon myself to call out her time.

Mikoto is glancing at Illya quite frequently too with jealous eyes.

I take my hand off Illya’s head and tap her back a couple of times. She pouts in dissatisfaction before she lets go of her hug.

Her pout turns into a smile as she steps back. Her body shines in an illogical and slightly infuriating anime bright light censor. After some more magical girl shenanigans, she appears from the light in her magical girl outfit holding her iconic magical girl stick, Ruby.

Unfortunately, it’s not sentient. She can do everything herself, after all. It’s honestly a shame…

(A/N: It’s because I can't be fucked writing Ruby’s lines.)

Illya- “Then, I'm going!”

She gently lifts off the ground before she shoots off towards Charybdis.

Very quickly she is now faced against the once-again newly-recovered Charybdis.

Illya- “I want to go back to Onii-chan’s pats quickly, so let’s finish this off…”

Holding Ruby in front of her, a ball of compressed magicules gathers in front of it. It’s quite similar to Milim’s attack, but there is a colour difference. Unlike Milim’s raw energy compression, causing it to appear blue in the natural colour magicules come in, Illya’s attacks come in a bright flashy pink colour.

Illya- “Feuer(Fire)!”

She fires off the compressed ball of energy.

*BOOOOOOOOOOM!*

Long story short, Charybdis died.

Illya- “Onii-chaaaaaaaaaaan!”

Illya flies at full speed into my stomach.

Rimuru- “OOF!”

She hugs me and begs me with her eyes to continue pampering her.

I can't say no. And so, continues the headpat saga. I feel a burning sensation on my back. Turning around, I see Mikoto quickly turning her head away, looking at a random tree.

Rimuru- “… Do you want a hug too?”

Please say yes.

Mikoto- “W-what are you talking about!? I-I’m going!”

She didn’t say yes.

Mikoto runs full speed towards Ranga and jumps on him. Knowing not to dare disobey the Mistress, especially when she’s running away from his master with a red face, Ranga listens to her and jumps into the air, quickly approaching Charybdis who has, once again, completely recovered.

Meanwhile, Milim, having her sub-30 second record beaten by an eager magical girl loli, is crouching in the corner drawing circles in the ground with her finger.

I know the feeling, man.

(Third Person POV)

Meanwhile, Mikoto is currently on Ranga’s back, face burning from embarrassment as her eyes are swirling and steam is rising from her head.

Six words are constantly running through her head.

“Do you want a hug too?”

Unable to even form a coherent sentence, that scene continues playing through her head until now it’s a beautified Rimuru with sparkling eyes and thick eyelashes with flowers blooming all around him staring deep into Mikoto’s eyes as he holds her in a princess carry while saying “You are beautiful, I want to hug you…”

Mikoto- “I… I… IYAAAAAH(NOOOOO)!”

She screams out from embarrassment, not noticing a giant black cloud has formed above Charybdis, similar to a typhoon. The eye of the storm, directly above the giant fish, is flashing from electricity and lightning, quickly growing in intensity.

*Crackle… CRACK-BANG!!!*

An extra thick bolt of lightning is ejected from the cloud and envelopes Charybdis. And so, Charybdis died. Not entirely from the lightning strike, although it was a major contributor, but from the PTSD Phobio has with Mikoto’s lightning.

Such a shame she didn’t use her Railgun.

-----

Name: Rimuru

Race: Origin Slime

Protection: Crest of Space

Title: Highest Tier Spirit, Leader of the Monsters, Onii-chan, King of Avalon, Master of Headpats, Procrastinator King

Manas: [Manas: Illyasviel]

Ultimate Skills: [Belzebuth, Lord of Gluttony] [Ahura Mazda, Lord of Creation] [Scathach, Lord of Runes]

Unique Skills: [Spatial Ruler]

Intrinsic Skills: [Infinite Regeneration] [Universal Shapeshift] [Universal Sense] [Enhanced Replication] [Universal Thread]

Extra Skills: [Lord's Ambition] [Thought Communication] [Control Particles] [Control Natural Elements]

Resistances: [Cancel Pain] [Resist Melee Attack] [Cancel Natural Elements] [Cancel Ailments] [Resist Spiritual Attack] [Resist Holy Attack]

Equipment: Yamato, [Raphael] Skill Orb, Limiter Ring

Revival Gun runs on Meat Buns and MC would rather eat them, so he destroyed it.