So, this is...this happened like 2 years ago, when if my bat had corona, I could just wash it and eat it. Without any repercussions.

Let's talk about the existence of Couple's Park.

If your country still has a good sense of humor, or humour, what's the spelling? I don't really care, but if your country is still funny, chances are you most probably have never heard of Couple's park.

Hence we can say that existence of it, is an isekai phenomenon, hence making it eligible to be here.

Confused? Well, let me give you an example of how a typical stupid misunderstanding movie takes place.

Man: Hello beautiful woman with whom I only have a professional relation. Would you like to discuss our next project at this place called 'Lover's Point'?

Woman: Why of course. I would also make sure to whisper everything in your ear so that once your wife sees us, she files for divorce.

Man: Haha, don't forget to wear super sexy clothes no one would wear.

Woman: You too sir, don't forget to buy me a bunch of roses.

Familiar? If no, then you still have a decently high standard for comedy and should immediately leave this site.

So, coming back, couple's park is mostly something we have only seen in movies or books. Even if something like this existed in first place, the government wouldn't promote it and its just a coincidence that its dominated by couples. I mean, government wants their parks to be rated E, right?

Introducing, The 7 Senses Park. Made by some Mexican dude. The google rates it about 4.6 stars.

Firstly let's talk about the name, you must be thinking,

"But Agentt, we don't have 7 senses!"

I know you aren't thinking that, most of you are just reading mindlessly. But here's the answer anyway.

The 7 senses here don't refer to the senses of the body, they refer to the seasons. Of the year.

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I know it doesnt make sense either way, but, I don't know how Mexicans work.

So, when my family heard about this beautiful park, we planned a trip.

Because, you know, covid didn't exist at that time.

I'll give you people some time to process it. Remember the days when going to parks was normal.

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Done? You can think for more, just stop scrolling since I am too lazy to draw anymore dots.

So, it was me, my family, and my younger cousin sister,

If I had to say how old she was, I don't know. I really stoped counting ever since she passed 1st grade. I mean, they grow up so fast! It almost seems like her age changes every November.

So, regarding her age, she was old enough to know multiplication tables, but didn't knew how to use them.

For eg, if you ask her 7×3, she will say 21.

But if you ask her 7+7+7, she will say she doesn't have enough fingers.

Now, I don't want to sound like a typical Asian boomer, but back in my days, our teachers actually told us the use of stuff we learn.

Like, what's the point of memorizing the tables if you don't know how to use them. 

But, anyway, that should give you a gist of how old she is. 

If you ask me what was the most memorable moment of my trip, I'll say there was this ice cream vendor right outside the exit who sold some pretty, well, not good, per say. But its ice cream! Who can complain against ice cream!

But it wasn't that bad, there many many statues of women posing in skimpy clothes. It really disappointed me that the breasts of these women were made of stone, and not sponge.

Coming back, so, when we entered, we got stares. People stared at us, watched us. Watched our every step.

Now, if you are an author on SH, you must be pretty used to getting stared. I mean, we have reached the epitome of weebness, even common folk can see our aura of weeb.

But if you are a reader, and don't know how an SH author looks likes, then here's a description.

Imagine a man, or a woman, no discrimination, and they haven't bathed in days, and their hair looks like they haven't combed it in years and they have eye bags as big as half the face, everyday they wake up wishing the day would end quicker and wishing coke would be free, and they are most probably wearing a shirt from years ago which no longer fits them but they still wear it since 'its still good'.

You must be thinking, oh, what about an author on Wattpad? Or Writing.com?

Well, who cares about them? Tony-chan is the best girl, and we only use Scribblehub.

Oh, but I don't look like that.. I don't look like that at all, well, I do on a bad day, but on a good day, I am handsome. Handsome enough that everytime I look into a mirror, I fall in love myself all over again. Even my hands and feets are beautiful. I could easily have a million subscribers if I decide to sell hand pics.

So, long story short, I was used to people staring at me, but this was different. This was 'stop everything you're doing and stare at that family'.

Apparently, my family didn't noticed it and hopped around merrily, taking lots of pictures till, we reached a particular place.

[Kissing Bridge]

It was at this point my family realised that we were the only family in the entire area. The whole park was infested with couples. 

My family got pretty embarrassed and decided to just continue as quietly as possible, but that was pretty impossible.

You see, this so called kissing bridge, is full of twists and turns. Just like the wall of China, on every corner, we could find a pair sharing an ice cream or smoothie. It really made me jealous.

I wanted an ice cream too. Or a smoothie. 

But really, the bridge even went weirdly up and down, so at any point you could see about 100 of people being pretty close to each other. I suppose this system was employed for the young love birds to quickly see if anyone's approaching them, which was way too effective since there is nothing more to do than interrupting someone making out. 

Finally, we almost reached the end of the bridge.

In front of us, was the [Bamboo Forest of Love] which wasn't a forest, but just 10 bamboos planted. Of course, we were gonna totally ignore all the N♡A and other variations carved all over them.

I really don't know why people bring knives with them on dates. I suppose as a back up plan in case she rejects.

So, where was I? Oh yes, we were almost at the end of the bridge.

Now, I have been calling it bridge for all this time, but actually, there wasn't any water beneath it, it was plain land.

Now, let me explain a concept to you. The concept of 'Lap Pillow'

Now, many of us have done it, mostly to our mothers when we were kids.

But have we ever done it romantically?

Actually, forget that, have we ever done literally anything remotely romantic?

The answer is no.

"But Agentt, I have a girlfriend."

No you don't. Its a myth. If girlfriends existed, we all would have one, hence we can conclude you lie. Everyone who says they have a girlfriend lies. Other than yuri. Only then can one have a girlfriend.

So, coming back to my encounter in the couple's park,

I saw a lap pillow below me, on the plain land.

And well, you don't get too see that much nowadays, its a delicacy.

So, what I wanted to say was- "oh hey look, a lap pillow"

I just said that in that colour to show I was supposed to whisper. Get it? Like, you can't read it properly, so you can't hear it?

So, but since I was so excited to see one in a very long time, what came out was.

"Oh LOOK. A LAP PILLOW!"

And well, it was enough to startle everyone in the surroundings, one even dropped his ice cream, what a waste.

Of course, even the man who rested his head on his girl's lap immediately got up.

I got scolded a lot by my parents for that.

And....finally, we reached the peak of the park. Yes, peak. It was a hike apparently.

While my family was busy clicking photos, I was left to take care of my sister. 

And, let me tell you about my surroundings, there were 5 statutes of women in skimpy clothing, all representing the 5 seasons of year. I would like to mention again that the breasts of these women, were in fact, not soft, since they were made of stone and not sponge or silicon. I was severely disappointed.

But the problem isn't that, the problem is what lied beyond that.

A thicket of suspiciously long grass.

Now, the whole park had grass about a 15 millimetres tall, for American units, its very small.

Why would such a well maintained park have grass growing taller than 5 feet here. Especially so thick, you can't see through it.

I must say here, I had seen enough smut to know where this is going.

My sister said, "Oni-chan!"

Okay, she didn't said that particular word, but she said something which means the same thing, so we are gonna stick with that.

She said, "Oni-chan, let's play in those grasses."

"We can't Avi" Yes, her name's Avi, "There are tigers in there."

"Tigers?"

"Yes."

"Is that why they are shaking so much."

"Y-yes. Th-thats exactly why." I said, I was beginning to tear up, my family was still enjoying themselves, and I alone had to protect her from the evils of this world.

"Oni-chan, look, a man and a woman came out."

"Yes they did, Avi. They must not know about the tigers."

"But why isn't the man wearing his shirt?" 

"I don't know Avi. I don't know anything. Please stop this." 

"Oni-chan, can we really not go in?"

"Please Avi, don't leave me. I don't want to lose you. Don't ever leave me."

Even to this day, I don't know how to react to this situation. A typical answer would be to cover her eyes and take her to somewhere else, but, what about me?

The innocent me was thrown into this darkness, I was petrified, okay? Don't blame me.

Soon, my family too realised how suspicious the tall grass looked like, and decided to move on.

And finally, we found civilisation!

We found normal people!

We were at the historical part of the park, and the place was filled with old geezers and families.

I breathed a relief, and finally let go of Avi's hand. We were safe. We had finally made it. We won!

"Oni-chan, look! That old man is going to the bushes with a girl!"

"Avi, Nooooooo."

"But why not?"

"Be-because tigers. And snakes."

"Then shouldn't we go and help them?"

"We can't Avi. It's too late. They have crossed the border."

"?"

Okay, I do admit I was a bit too dramatic, but-but, I don't know, okay? I was a child too back then.

So, we finally got a chance to sit, and relax. Avi was chasing squirrels, and we were just relaxing, enjoying the touch of nature.

Around us were no longer statues of ladies, but now they were of old men. One of them was the mexican dude, an ambassador it seems, who made this park.

And, we then got out.

And we ate ice cream.

I chose choco-milk flavour. Its basically a vanilla droped into choco syrup.

Avi chose orange.

And we left.

I do have pictures of that place, I took pictures of trees and squirrels and birds since I was afraid anything else would get me arrested for peeping.

I could share them here, but they are on my phone, and my phone has been dead for almost an year.

Oh no, it works perfectly, I just don't charge it. Since, you know, I don't have anyone to talk to.....

"But Agentt! You can just plug your memory card into your computer!"

Geez, I am telling you people are sad story here, don't apply logic here.

As for your question, I am too lazy to do that.

Sayonara!