I insisted we put on the protective gear there, that we wouldn't have time when we got to the woods. He went along with it, and I then fastened dozens of rue bundles to our suits, and smeared crushed leaves over our faces. Finally I tied some to my spear and smeared more of it on the tip. It was about 8 feet in length, and I hoped it would give us the reach we needed.

"Where'd you get that?" Thomas asked curiously as he examined my spear.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you later," I replied.

So, we both piled on to my scooter and headed out. What a sight we must have made-two figures in white plastic suits, masks and goggles, cover in little bundles of leaves, on a small road electroscooter, one of them holding a spear. I am very thankful we didn't get pulled over.

Thanks to my complete disregard for the speed limit, we got to Hearthstone in record time. Rather than stopping there, I jumped the scooter over the curb and took into the woods down the trail. It wasn't really designed for off-road travel, and I prayed whatever damage I did would be repairable.

We barreled through the undergrowth before we finally hit the zone of dead vegetation. It was wider than before. We halted at the edge of the clearing and dismounted. We quietly crept up behind the cabin, to where the burrow-the cockatrice's den, I now realized-was. About ten feet away, we stopped and prepared ourselves. I tied a bundle of rue to the end of the spear, and handed Thomas the mirror, as a back up. Hopefully we wouldn't need it. Then, we lured the rue bundle on the spear tip down into the hole.

"You sure this is going to work?" asked Thomas.

"Yes. This is how they killed the cockatrice in Vilnius back in the 1500s. Unless you'd rather go down there and fight it yourself."

As I lowered the spear, I heard a terrible, inhuman screech, like a bird's cry mixed with the howl of a banshee. There was also a great deal of thumping, to the point where the cabin was shaking. I pulled the spear up. The rue bundle was bleached white.

"Ok, put another bundle on. It's still alive. We'll know it's dead when the leaves are still green when we pull them up. The one in Vilnius took three bundles, I'm expecting something similar here."

Thomas fastened another bundle and passed it to me. I thrust the spear back into the burrow. There was more screaming and thumping. Almost done, I thought. Then, just as I was pulling the spear up, there was an almighty CRASH, and the whole cabin shuddered, as a dust wafted out through the chinks in the wall. Then a huge dark shape smashed through the back window.

In the manuscripts, the cockatrice is depicted as essentially a sinister looking rooster-sure, it had bat wings and serpentine tail, but it still more or less looked like a chicken, and was presumably about the size of one. It was almost kind of cute.

The thing before us was not cute. It was a Goddamn dinosaur. It was somewhere between the size of a large dog and a small horse. The head was chicken-like enough, but the rooster comb was spiked, and the beak filled with teeth. Its eyes were glowing red and filled with malice. Its legs were thick with muscle, and ended in razor-sharp claws. Its wings were massive sheets of leather, and they too had claws. The tail was long and sinuous, and waved about alarmingly fast. It was mostly covered with scaly feathers in bright green, orange, and red-the colors of a venomous reptile. It looked at us and screamed.

Even with the PPE, I could feel the heat of its toxic breath. Thomas and I scrambled backward. "Thomas, the mirror!" I shouted, but he was already brandishing it forth. I prayed it would stop the beast. The cockatrice gazed into the mirror and froze, and for a second, I thought it had worked. But then it screamed again, arched its wings, and showed its teeth, while still looking directly at the mirror. It think it's another cockatrice, I thought. It's challenging it for dominance.

Well, it wasn't dead, but it was distracted. Now would be as good time as any to skewer it. I hoisted the spear up and made to strike, but before I could land it, the creature sprung forth with terrifying speed, its wings opening up in a twisted parody of flight. It hit the mirror straight on and bowled Thomas over. It plucked the mirror from it his hands and flung it on the ground, and then promptly shattered it with its talons and beak.

Shit, I thought. This had all gone horribly awry. I ran to Thomas, dropped the spear, and helped him up. He was surprisingly still in one piece, but he had obvious cuts, and his PPE had been breached, which meant he was now exposed to the cockatrice's toxic breath. I had to get him out of here.

He pulled away from my grasp and grabbed the spear. He waved it in the direction of the monster, which, having slain its supposed foe, was now turning its eyes toward us. "I'll hold it off," he gasped. "You get out of here!"

Like hell I will, I thought. But I had an idea. As Thomas continued to brandish the spear and try to keep the beast away, I sprinted for my scooter. I hopped on and gunned the motor, spraying dirt and leaves as I took off. Rather than heading down the trail, I headed back into the clearing toward the cockatrice. "Hey ugly!" I shouted as I sped past it, desperate to distract it from Thomas. It took the bait, and started to chase after me. I started doing laps around the cabin, the cockatrice in hot pursuit. Thomas limped toward the clearing, and on my next pass around I called out to him. "Throw me the spear!" He looked bewildered, but tossed it to me. Thankfully I caught it in my outstretched hand. I then spun the scooter around, tucked the spear under my arm, and bore down on the charging monster head on, like a latter day St. George. I aimed the spear true, and struck the monster straight in the chest and sunk in deep. The impact ripped it from my hand and knocked the scooter over, and it and I skidded through the leaf litter. As I came to a stop, I looked up just in time to see the cockatrice spasm, let out an awful keen, and then collapse. As the magic that held its unnatural form together dissipated, its body dissolved into noxious steam, leaving only its malformed bones. I got up and staggered over, picking up the spear and examining the toothed beak, now clean bone. "Well, I think we go it."

Thomas stumbled over and looked at it, too stunned to say anything. Just then we heard sirens in the distance. As usual the authorities had arrived just as the action was over.

***

The EMTs insisted on looking us over, but other than some mild poisoning and some lacerations, we were good to go. As soon as we were clear I made a beeline to the hospital with the extra rue, and instructed Marissa in how to prepare a tea that would treat the cockatrice poison (while also not further poisoning the patients; rue is toxic, after all). I also brewed some of the bitter drink for Thomas and I, and we immediately felt better. We were also able to change out of our tattered and dirty PPE.

"Good work out there today," I said, wearily.

"Thanks, you too."

"Hey, are we still on the clock?" I asked him.

"At this point, I'm gonna say no," he replied.

"Good, I need a drink after all this."

"What, at the Ember?" he asked. "That's a bit of a hike, and I don't know if I need coffee right now."

"No, a beer or something. There's a pub down the street from my office. C'mon, it'll be my treat. You've earned it."

And I must tell you, that was one of the best damn drinks I've ever had.