Herrifer stood in the great hall alone, surrounded by high-rising statues of the important figures of the Church. Though it was empty, she could sense a vast presence peering from the beyond, watching, judging. It was commanding yet gentle, strict yet forgiving, divine yet humble.
The Lord awaited.
She took a deep breath and walked towards the end of the hall, where the statue of the Lord resided, concealed under a thick curtain. She passed by rows of wooden pews. Her feet sank into the rosy carpet which bounced according to her rhythm.
Unlike the neat metallic floor of the cathedral, the Chamber was decorated in the ancient style, using chunks of stones as tiles, marble pillars as supports. On the ceiling, the chandeliers softly lit, flickering with the faint breezes, swaying ever so slightly. They cast a shadow which resembled the iron bars that trapped the sinners and forced them to repent.
There was no observer, no time limit, no prohibition. The participant may remain inside forever if they could do so. The only objective was to find one's faith and connect with the Lord. Everyone had a different experience, and nothing could guarantee success.
Despite having no time limit, Herrifer nervously treaded through the hall, eyeing the majestic statues on the side. Though lifeless, their inanimate gaze followed her, gawking at her trembling heart, pitying her wavering soul. The pressure intensified with each step, with each moment, as if the hall were slowly getting filled by water, and it was rising, from her feet to her knees to her waist.
"So this is why most people can't stay inside for too long," she murmured to herself, gasping. The temptation to resign rose, but it could barely move her, who had undergone a much more intense practice. "I'll preserve, Sis."
She straightened her back and focused her mind on herself, commanding her feet and arms to move. The soft breezes fell on her skin and relieved her anxiety. The radiance of the candles fell on her uniform, warming her clothes. Compared to the walk with Iris, this was a lot easier. No physical contact, no teasing.
Now she stood in front of the large curtain that covered the wall. It stretched and expanded, concealing the statue of the Lord from the outside world. Rumour had it that the Lord's appearance was heavenly, and if one were to lay their eyes on her, they would lose themselves in the wonderous quality. The first test of faith was the test of willpower.
Herrifer looked at the faith silhouette through the curtain. The dark figure had a dazzling proportion, refined, gorgeous. Her hair extended down beyond her shoulders and ended at her waist, seemingly straight yet wavy. Her air resembled Iris, who was playful yet elegant, worthy of devotion.
Herrifer shook her head, feeling ridiculous. She had just compared her sister with the Lord, the creator of the world, the originator of all beauty.
Her heart lightened by her thought, she turned to handle beside her and grabbed it, feeling the soft fabric rubbing her palm. Once she pulled it, the curtain would lift, and there would be no going back. Despite the implication, she wasn't afraid. In her heart, someone had already taken that special place, and no one else could occupy it.
"Here goes nothing," she said and pulled the handle.
The veil lifted. The statue of the Lord glittered from the reflecting light, glowing golden and white. The multiple pairs of wings on her back quivered and spread across the hall, enveloping Herrifer, who froze in her place, entranced by sight before her. For the second time in her life, her heart throbbed for others. Her chest heated up, her eyes tearing up. It was childish to compare her sister to the Lord. They were at a different level.
"Majestic indeed," Herrifer said and bowed. "Lord, you are the standard of beauty."
The statue's eyes gleamed, but it did nothing, standing there, silent, in contemplation. Herrifer had passed the first test, the easiest one. After that, she had to let the Lord into her heart and soul, accepting the Lord. Then, finally, she had to plead her eternal devotion to the Lord.
There was no formula. She had to interpret the method herself. She slowly knelt on the cold stone floor, her uniform stretching to cover the surrounding. Though it was uncomfortable, she uttered no complaint and clasped her hands together, forming a prayer gesture in front of her chest. The soft breeze gently blew and took off her hood, revealing her brushy hair.
Her eyes dimmed as she bent her head down. The thoughts inside burst, lulling her as she felt lighter and lighter. Her muscles and breathing relaxed as she fixed her mind on one figure, the figure of great beauty, of majestic disposition, of holiness. Then, with nothing in her mind except her instinct, she prayed.
The words seeped out and diffused into the air, lingering around her, dancing, weaving, forming various meanings unknown to her. Gradually, she forgot her posture, forgot her position. Her mouth kept moving, but she couldn't quite get what she was speaking. She only knew her heart was saying something, and she only had to listen. Her name didn't matter, neither did her goal, her dream, nor her life.
She stayed in the same position with her eyes closed, her palms clasped, her head lowered. Her presence slowly dispersed into the surrounding, merging with the world. As her mind locked into the figure in her heart, her connection with the divine grew stronger.
Gradually, soft, purple radiance manifested around her, whirling around, assimilating into her body, filling her with sensation beyond physical satisfaction. An invisible pair of hands held hers and stroked her skin, quietly grasping at her determination and rewarding her with tingling fuzz.
Knowing she was at the crucial step, the last test, Herrifer arched forward. Her back bent until it could not. Her forehead gently touched the cold stone tile. Her eyes remained shut, but her heart gradually opened. The light surrounding her intensified, burning in great zeal as the hazy figure of her faith became clearer and clearer.
Eyes as deep as the ocean blue, hair as dark as the night sky, the Goddess in her heart was fairer than snow, prettier than gemstones, and lovelier than flowers. Casually, the Goddess raised her hand and drew it forwards, hovering it in front of Herrifer, who respectfully raised her head to admire the soul-stirring beauty.
Instead of the Lord, the figure Herrifer saw was Elizabeth, smiling, giggling. Herrifer blinked, but the illusion never changed. No matter how she tried, she could never shift her faith. Her heart was with Iris. Iris. Iris.
"What are you waiting for?" Iris said. "I'm getting a little tired, so please hurry up."
"What is the meaning of this?”
"Does emotion need any reason?"
Herrifer observed the mental image of Iris and found no wings, no halo, and no indifferent majesty. Only her graceful smile resembled any sort of purity.
"The last step is to follow your heart," Iris said. "Your heart is quite honest, but it seems you’re not."
Herrifer gripped her chest, feeling stuffy. Her heart throbbed in both pain and pleasure, churning her stomach and burning her skin. Her eyes contracted as they darted around, desperately trying to find the Lord, to see through the illusion, the temptation. She retreated from Iris, but deep inside, she knew she couldn't run away.
"My entire life, for this moment," she mumbled. Tears swelled at the corner of her reddened eyes. "How cruel can you be?"
"You’re cruel to yourself." Iris walked close to Herrifer and seized her chin, pulling it gently. "Is this life yours, or is it someone else’s?"
The pair of deep blue irises dragged Herrifer's gaze into a whirlpool of emotions. She turned away, but her eyes remained locked on Iris's. Her heart slowly cracked open, revealing the desire within, free from the constrain of guilt, of fear, and of duty.
"You’re cruel," Herrifer said. "Why did you fail your test?"
“You have to ask her, not me."
Herrifer looked down at her hands, shaking. What next? Hopeless, she turned to Iris, who smiled devilishly.
"Help me," she said. "My heart is in your hand."
"Your heart is in your chest." Iris leant closer, breathing into Herrifer's ear. "In there is something special. Let your heart accept it."
Herrifer blushed, her heart racing. "Will this really save me? Will you still give me your rewards?"
"Don’t be greedy." Iris giggled. "I won't go back on my promise. Family is what I hold dear."
Nervously, Herrifer dropped to her knees and held Iris's hand. She stared at its fair backside before she leant forward and placed her lips on it, kissing, caressing, brushing. The sweet warmth tainted her tongue and reddened her face. A strange sensation sparked at her heart, turning shame and guilt into excitement and longing.
"Alice, is this love?"
"Only you would know."
Around Herrifer, the purple light intensified until it flooded the mental plane, dragging her back to reality, where she knelt in front of the statue of the Lord. Though she remained respectful, her love and heart and soul were with someone else, someone devilish, someone lovely. She felt conflicted, but her heart kept reassuring her she did the right thing.
By calling out to her sister, she raised her hand and channelled her love. A spark of black light twirled around her fingers, bursting into specks of flickering glow. It resembled the blessings of the Lord yet the quality was different, corrupted, wicked.
"It works," she murmured to herself, relieved. Her body burnt with passion, excitement. It was a new experience for her, something profound, unforgettable. "What is happening? Is this a dream?"
Shaking her head, she stood up and closed the curtain. The oppressive air of the surrounding was now gone. In her mind, she only thought about what she would do when she found Iris. Her skin tingled.
As she exited the room, she asked around for her sister and found that Iris was at the Hall of Verdict. Though confused, she didn't think much about it and rushed to her, going on randomly, asking for the path along the way. Despite not knowing the direction, the connection in her heart guided her to where Iris was.
Standing in front of the Hall of Verdict, Herrifer was overcome with anxiety. Her heart and body struggled to move forward, afraid of showing her weak side to her sister, her lover. As she paced back and forth, the heat inside her kept rising until she could no longer endure it.
At last, she opened the door.
Taverius· Aug 3, 2021
