Asri followed Miru to the study room, where the Head Priestess was going to tell them something important. The temple was by no means empty, and yet she felt like it was only her and Miru on the long corridor. Their shadows falling over, chasing behind them as they walked across the waning sunset light.

 

Suddenly Asri felt her heart race, like she was being watched. But there was no one around except Miru, whose hair was bobbing with every frisk step she took. There was some sort of childlike elegance in the way Miru carried herself, owing to her noble upbringings no doubt. But Asri could sometimes sense a certain darkness, something heavy that Miru had on her almost like a shackle. Elrin told her it was a nobility thing, and she had been convinced; it was easy to single out Miru among non-noble children because of that unique feeling, the way shadow cast over her eyes sometimes in an unnerving way. But later Asri realized. She could sometimes detect the same thing from Elrin, whose fists were tightly grip before exam results. And earlier, right after Miru interrupted him, Lute also showed a similar look.

 

Perhaps she had been reading one too many novels lately. The silence felt a bit unfathomable to her, so she decided to say something.

 

— Hey, do you know what the Head Priestess is gonna tell us?

 

A pebble was thrown into the heavy silence, and it was like Miru didn’t hear her until she turned back.

 

— I don’t know. Although, I must say...

 

Her eyes seemed a bit weird as they were fixed on Asri., and she continued.

 

— You better be careful. Of course, I don’t care if you get yourself killed but...

 

— Killed?! What are you talking about?

 

Miru looked a bit pensive, her steps slowing a bit, as she said.

 

— ... There are some bad people who don’t like the temple. The Goddess, the Chosen Star, they don’t like any of it.

 

It seemed a bit strange to Asri. People she’d met in the village had varying levels of enthusiasm about the Goddess, but everyone prayed to her. Saying prayers, seeking guidance at the local temple, it was something everyone just did naturally. Liking? You could complain about the lengthy scripture, the temple gathering being so crowded with people because it’s such a small temple, but you would still pray, still worship. It was strange to say you don’t like the Goddess or the temple.

 

Miru looked at the confusion on Asri’s face, and clicked her tongue as she said.

 

— Anyway, they don’t like how the Chosen Star is bringing people to the temple. So some say they are going to sabotage this year’s Divinity Ritual.

 

Why would they not like the Chosen Star helping people? Asri just could not understand, the confusion in her growing. Miru continued, very quietly.

 

— So... don’t trust anyone, got it?

 

Then she swiftly turned her head away. Her steps quickened once again, and before Asri could ask her to explain herself, they already reached the study room.

 

———

 

The Head Priestess stood at the podium, her face in a harsh frown. But she had always looked like that so there was no surprise among the candidates. They also knew she would not let them have a good time if they so much as whispered among themselves, so everyone were unerringly quiet. She then began.

 

— The final test is tomorrow. Everyone here knows what they are here for, so I will not repeat myself. We will announce the new Chosen Star by supper tomorrow, and the Divinity Ritual will take place after night prayer.

 

She looked at them all for a moment, before adding.

 

— Go back to your room once supper is over. There is no night prayer tonight. You are dismissed.

 

It was a simple notification of what was about to happen. The Head Priestess left the podium, eyes glancing over everyone one last time before walking out. There were hushed whispers - the Head Priestess had left, but they had been told to not make noise in the study room even when no instructor was there. People slowly poured out of the room, and Asri caught up to Elrin, who had a notebook in her hand.

 

— Elrin! Let’s go to supper together!

 

Elrin looked at Asri, then at the notebook, and replied:

 

— I’m going to study.

 

Normally Asri would have told her that she was pushing herself too much, but since the final test was tomorrow, Asri knew she wouldn’t be able to stop Elrin this time. She just answered.

 

— Alright, I’ll grab some snacks for you!

 

— ... Thanks.

 

She made her way to the dining hall. There were a bit fewer people at supper, and she guessed that they might be studying just like Elrin.

 

Miru came over to look for Elrin, but seeing no one by Asri’s side, she clicked her tongue in annoyance. She glanced around, before standing right next to Asri. Her eyes looking at Asri from above, she smiled almost wickedly. It was the same look she would give Elrin before saying something mean.

 

It had always confused Asri a bit, as to why was Miru doing all this. She never hit people or really messed with them, but she would harass certain people regularly. The priestesses have spoken to her a few times, but she would just keep doing it. When it looked like the main victim, Elrin, did not have too much of a problem with it, they just left her alone. Asri had felt like she had to get justice for Elrin a couple times, but Elrin insisted that it was a waste of time. True to her words, Elrin never let any of the harassment affect her studies.

 

Miru was mean to people; she was rarely ever kind. Ignoring was the best she could do for someone. But Asri remembered the warning from earlier. She didn’t have time to dwell on it, but it was really strange of Miru to do that.

 

Unfortunately, it looked like she was back to the normal Miru now.

 

— Your little friend isn’t here? Where is she?

 

— I’m not telling you. It’s the day before the final test, why can’t we just be peaceful?

 

— Peaceful? Me not kicking that piece of trash out of the study room every time I have to see her is already me holding back a lot. You’ve got some guts asking that of me.

 

— I just don’t understand; why do you hate Elrin so much? I get it that you didn’t want to be here, but why treat others like this?

 

— I’m more baffled at why you are sitting next to her knowing nothing! What kind of person she is, where she was from, how did she even make it here!

 

The disgust was all over Miru’s face as she continued.

 

— You’re just an idiotic peasant, but she’s disgusting. You are rooming with a prostitute’s daughter, and you feel nothing? Did she seduce you as well?

 

— She didn’t ask to be born into that kind of situation! And didn’t the Head Priestess say status and background meant nothing here? We’re all just candidates here!

 

— Well I don’t mind having to live with a bunch of lowly peasants...

 

The sneer was effortless on Miru’s face, like she had done it millions of times before, before it quickly turned into a scowl.

 

— ... But I won’t be seen being friends with a murderer!

 

The dining hall was already sparse of people, and everyone instantly quieted down after that. Asri stared incredulously at Miru, who looked more vindictive as she said.

 

— You haven’t heard about it? Of course, those cowards won’t say it because they are afraid of the priestesses. But I’m not gonna let you off for trying to befriend, trying to defend a killer. And you know who she killed?

 

Asri knew she didn’t want to hear what was coming next, but she couldn’t run away. Miru’s eyes were sinister as she said.

 

— Her own mother! She killed her own mother!

 

———

 

Asri walked back to her room with uncertain steps. The room she shared with Elrin.

 

Her hand ghosted over the door. Did she want to see Elrin right now? Her head was a mess. They all said Elrin killed her own mother to escape the brothel, only to be caught in the end, before being taken back to the temple by the Head Priestess. Their words were overlapping in her head, the contempt in Miru’s voice striking her even though she had heard it every day.

 

It was true that Elrin never talked about her family. It was true she turned frosty the moment someone talked about theirs. It was true she never talked about the rumors, about her past, about she got here. It was just a simple “The Head Priestess took me”.

 

Asri knew better than to trust rumors. She trusted what she could see. Lute looked cold and uncaring, but he was kind. Elrin was curt and distant, but she cared for Asri in some ways. They were friends. Asri trusted her. She could not... she could not believe that Elrin did that.

 

But what if it was true? If it really was a mindless rumor, Elrin would have given her that usual look of annoyance. She would have told Asri “you fool” before going off to the library again, not minding anything the least. She would not have...

 

There was one time, quite a while ago, a group of candidates approached Asri and Elrin. They were also at the dining hall. The girl in front of the group had her hands clasped together like they were praying, as she asked us in a tiny voice:

 

— E-Elrin, is it true that... your mother... you... that...

 

At the time, Asri thought they were talking about Elrin’s mother being a prostitute, so she reminded them of the Head Priestess’ words, that everyone’s families didn’t matter here.

 

But they were all looking intently at Elrin, like waiting for a verdict. There was the faintest hint of fear in their eyes, but Asri was too indignant at them to realize at the time. Then, Elrin suddenly stood up. She took her lunch and left the dining hall.

 

She didn’t come back to the room that night. The next day, she came to class and everything was normal... but Asri remembered feeling that everyone was sitting a bit further a way from Elrin.

 

Asri didn’t realize. They were talking about this. They knew... and Elrin didn’t say anything. Not even a scowl on her face.

 

She knew Elrin would be here. The library had more books, but Elrin always chose the peace and quiet of her room when revising the night before exams. She knew Elrin would be in there right now. Her hand was numb as it hang above the door knob.

 

— What are you doing?

 

She felt her spine shake, and turned to look. Elrin stood a short distance away, her eyes inquiring, books under her elbow. The common sight seemed to calm Asri down, as she said in a voice that was not shaky at all.

 

— I... think I might have forgotten something...

 

Then it came to her, so she immediately said, falling into a normal pattern.

 

— ... Your snacks! I said I was gonna get some for you, but I forgot!

 

— ... Whatever.

 

— I’ll go get them now, supper’s not over yet! Wait for me!

 

— I’m gonna study.

 

Asri stepped aside for Elrin to open the door into the room. But the door was not immediately closed.

 

— Don’t wander, remember what the Head Priestess said.

 

Asri felt something stuck in her chest. She looked away and said.

 

— I’ll be back. Don’t worry.

 

The door was closed, and Asri walked away. She gained speed, practically running from her own room, her eyes looking frantically for something, something, to help sort out her thoughts. She could not return to the dining hall; she didn’t want to meet anyone, especially Miru. The study room was closed, the library room was across the dining hall... there was only one place left.

 

She arrived at the back garden. It was dark now, and of course Lute was not there. The place looked and felt very much like the desolate place it really was. It was unnerving, but the fact that there was no one also relieved her. She didn’t... she didn’t want to be with anyone right now.

 

She didn’t want anyone to know... that she could not trust her friend.

 

That for a moment, she felt the same feeling of disgust within herself towards, towards Elrin. The same feeling Miru had. She had... towards her friend...

 

She killed her own mother!

 

The voice resounded in her head. She couldn’t believe it, but she could’t not believe it entirely.

 

She had her own mother, a family, and she destroyed it! She deserves to be condemned!

 

But it was Elrin. Her friend, who cared for her in the smallest of ways. Her friend, who talked to her despite hating to talk. Her friend, who stopped her from going against Miru because Miru would attack her as well.

 

She had to know the truth. But she was too afraid to ask.

 

— What are you doing here?

 

She swivelled around. It was Lute.