Side Story: World Lessons: The Mortal Races.
-Duvessa-
Duvessa hated her etiquette classes. Don’t say this, don’t sit like that, stay straight, hold it like that, don’t laugh in public. So many rules, most of them were stupid or didn’t make sense. It would still be two years until she made her appearance as a debutante on her thirteenth birthday, but her mother insisted she learn it all now. Now that the etiquette teacher was gone she could finally slouch, and she rested her head on the table in front of her.
The social studies teacher was next and she wanted to escape, but grandmother told her that there would be no magic lessons unless she finished her normal lessons. She was finally starting to cast spells so it was important that she stay for her normal lessons. “I just wish I could take a break and skip it sometimes.”
The woman with curly grey hair that was her social studies teacher entered carrying a few pages and sat down across from Duvessa. She set the papers down and spoke. “Today’s lesson will be brief but important, today we…”
Suddenly her eyes rolled back and she passed out, her head hit the table with a loud thud that shocked Duvessa. She heard a sweet female voice coming from the window, “Oops, I didn’t think she would hit her head that hard, I hope nobody heard.”
She looked over to the window to see Solier crouched in the windowsill. “Did you just kill Lady Trudest?”
She jumped down into the room, “I certainly hope not, I just heard the sound of a little girl making a wish so I figured I should be a good demon and grant that wish for her.”
“How did you get up here? This is the fourth floor.”
“I jumped, I could have used my wings but they tend to scare the humans if they are seen, so I just jumped. So why did you want to skip the lesson? Sneaking out to meet with your fathers new squire again?”
“No, I, I have to take this lesson, Grandmother will ask me about it and I have to pay attention.”
Solier sat on top of the table next to Duvessa and grabbed the Lady by her hair pulling her up to look at her face. She saw a trickle of blood coming from the old woman’s nose. “Hm, she won’t be waking up for a while, so let me see.” She set down the unconscious teacher, grabbed the sheets of paper and started flipping through them. “Hmm, looks like she was teaching you about the mortal races today, probably a bunch of societal information and nothing really good. Ugh, even maps and population statistics. No wonder you wanted out of this lesson, she just teaches the boring stuff.” She leaned forward and pointed her finger at Duvessa. “What you need to know is what makes them tick, how they think and what they desire. If you don’t know that you won’t be able to properly manipulate them. I think I should take over your lesson for today.”
Solier crossed her legs and tossed the papers over her shoulder and they scattered across the floor. “So first off, what are the mortal races? What makes a mortal different than say...me?”
“Um, you don’t get old and you,” she whispered the next part, “don’t have parents.”
“Don’t worry, you won't offend me, you are correct after all. But what about something like a horse or a cat? They get old and have parents but aren’t considered mortal races.”
“Is it because they aren’t smart?”
“Let us set aside for a moment that I wouldn’t call all mortals ‘smart’ and bring up another point. Dragons and other beasts are smart and have parents but they aren’t considered mortals.” She paused and held up her hand with 3 fingers. Overall there are three points that make someone part of the mortal races. A measurable lifespan, being birthed by parents, and being part of society.” She laughed, “‘Being part of society’ is another way of saying that mortals are too weak to survive on their own.”
“Before you ask what the difference is between a mortal and a Malkin, I don’t know. They just felt a reason to separate the two. Honestly you can't tell me there is that big of a difference between a human and an orc when it comes down to it.”
“So let's start with the big three, humans, elves and dwarves. Humans are by far the most interesting of the three, it’s kind of sad that they are the shortest lived but they wouldn’t be nearly as much fun if they had a longer lifespan. You know humans by now I’m sure. Your father is human, the servants in the manor are mostly human. The reason they are fun is because of how varied they are. Every region has its own humans that live in different ways. Even humans that live in close proximity to each other will have different thoughts and views. There is an old Elven saying: “If you ask three humans the same question you will get four different answers.””
“Since there are so many different types of humans I’m not even going to try to name them all, but I will tell you what they all have in common. They are all slaves to their desires. Since they have such short lives and an even shorter prime they go after everything fast. They fall in love quickly, they lust after others with little provocation, they take action to take what they want quickly, and action to hinder or destroy their opponents just as fast. In most cases you don’t need to tempt or manipulate them at all, just point them at what they want and watch them go. In the case of the ones that like to keep their desires hidden in some self imposed “civility”, you just need to find out what they really want and use it to control them.”
“Lets see, next,” she pointed at one of the sheets of paper on the floor and it floated up into her hands, “ugh, Elves. I suppose it would be safe to call them the opposite of humans. Longer lives make more patient mortals. If you ever want to get on the good side of one you need to be prepared to invest a lot of time. To make it worse, all of them have a bit of arrogance and thoughts of superiority, the Grey Elves most of all. Lets see, we’ll start with the most common, the Sky Elves. Don’t bother trying to divide Sun elves and Moon elves, the only real difference is how pale their hair is. They are pretty much what people think of when they think of elves. Forest cities, long lives, blonde hair, fair skinned, blah blah blah boring. They think of themselves as some sort of protectors and caretakers of the world. I’d avoid these guys when you can, they seem content, are far too concerned about being “good”, and rarely have any desires. To make matters worse they have the libido of a stone.”
“The Sylvan Elves are far more interesting, but are rare outside of Teros. They are far more in tune with nature than the other elves to the point where the seasons can affect their appearance and personality. They are the most humble of the elves but the least trusting. I haven’t dealt with these much but I do find it interesting you can tell what season they are born in just by how they look. You can also tell mostly how they will act. They all have brown tinted skin that takes the same colors as types of tree bark. Their hair and eyes are different depending on when they were born. The ones born in spring have mostly blonde hair, but it can be tinged purple or pink like spring flowers. They tend to be the most caring and see themselves as caretakers and are the most likely to be able to use nature magic. Treat them with kindness and they will start to trust you. Summer elves tend towards brown or green and are the most friendly, almost like humans really and should be treated the same. Fall elves are the warriors and hunters. Violent and aggressive with orange or red hair like falling leaves. If you want to get close to them you need to either impress them with your own skills or appear as an appealing prey. Last is the winter elves with white hair. Honestly I can't stand these types, they are introverts who are content to be alone with their studies or magic.”
“Last are the Stone Elves, or City Elves, Grey Elves. They are strange in that they prefer cities over the forest like the others. They are the longest lived, and the most arrogant of the mortal elves. They take pride in their intelligence and magical skills, but are easy to deceive. With their arrogance comes an inherent weakness to praise. Keep tossing compliments their way and they will keep you close to stroke their ego.”
“What about High Elves?” asked Duvessa, “Like the merchant that works for mother?”
“Mersine? She’s not a very good example of a High Elf though. I don’t think you can call High Elves mortals since I’ve never heard of one dying of old age. Usually they just get so bored of the world that they fall asleep and never wake up again, still looking like some perfect ageless beauty. They spend a thousand years living and a few thousand more trying not to get bored. It’s nearly impossible to get their attention because they don’t care about anything unless it can relieve their boredom for decades or more. Mersine is taking a different approach, a thousand tiny distractions instead of one big one. She’s living like a human and will likely self-destruct in a century or two.”
“Let us move on to Dwarves then, there is not much difference between the two Dwarven tribes except for where and how they live. The Mountain Dwarves live in large stone cities that are at least half carved into mountains. Hill Dwarves are either nomadic or live in surface cities as workers or craftsmen. A large number of them are traveling merchants. The main thing you need to know about dwarves is that they live in a constant cycle of work and celebration and I’m not entirely certain which they enjoy more. A sister of mine once told me that they don’t drink and celebrate to enjoy themselves, but to help distract themselves from the fact that they are not currently working. Honestly Mountain Dwarves are easy to deal with since you will rarely interact with them during work and instead will see them celebrating or relaxing. Just join them in whatever they are doing a few times and they tend to become attached quickly. Just keep in mind that their passion is their work, any gifts or support relating to that work will get you in their good graces. Hill dwarves can be similar, but the ones that don’t have a craft or do labor have found another obsession: gold. They are profit mongers to the core and their desire for money makes them easy to manipulate.”
Solier finally uncrossed her legs and hopped off the table to pick up the spilled papers. “I suppose there are some rarer races that are far less important. Most of the mortals anyone will ever meet will be a human, elf or dwarf.” She started flipping through the pages, “Halflings are short fat homebodies, I’m not sure why you would be interested in one in the first place. Bayawak, the Lizard Men, are the most common race in the Teros islands but hard to find anywhere else. They tend to be spiritual and all around nice guys, but don’t expect to seduce one of those Lamia worshippers unless your bottom half is a snake. Brun are three meter tall savages that tend to stay away from civilization and live on the coasts. They have a weird religion that focuses on animal spirits that they see as their guides. They tend to be either protective or domineering over anyone they see as weaker. When you are three meters of solid muscle, that includes pretty much everyone. If you find one that wants to protect then let him protect you and show gratitude to earn his trust. If you find one that is domineering, kill or subdue him to earn his loyalty.”
“Then there are the mixed bloods and half breeds. Half Elves and Half Dwarves are common enough but these can get weird because non-mortals can sometimes have children with mortals. Like your grandmother did, and maybe even me one day. It shouldn’t be possible for angels and demons, but it does happen and we aren’t exactly sure why. Dragon blooded Drakes, Fey blooded Tamlin, Elemental blooded Alji, Nightborn children of human women and an incubus or vampire. Probably even a few hybrids that haven’t even been seen yet. For the most part you can treat them like humans, it all depends on what they think of their non mortal parent. If they are proud of their lineage then treat them normally. If they are ashamed of it, they often are outcasts or see themselves as outcasts. If you accept them or give them a place where they think they are welcome, they become easy to manipulate.”
“You think you can remember all that little miss?” She slapped the stack of papers back down on the table. “If you missed a few things you can ask me later or just copy from the notes here that Lady Trudest wrote up. I can give you more specific examples if you want. I’ve been toying with mortals for thousands of years now, I’m somewhat of an expert.” She bent over to bring her face down to Duvessa’s height. “You know, in a few years I can teach you proper seduction techniques. It’s so easy to get what you want out of someone when they think they can get something from you in exchange. We can start by practicing on that boy that squires for your father if you wish.”
“You’re going to teach my daughter what exactly?”
Solier began to back away from the door towards the window she came in from while giving a mock bow towards the lady of the house, “Ah Lady Varlane, it is so good to see you here. It appears that Lady Trudest was feeling ill so I took over today's lesson for her. Now that the lesson is complete I must take my leave.”
Duvessa gave a little giggle as Solier performed a backflip through the window. Her mother walked up close and grabbed the notes that Duvessa was taking during the lecture. “Hm, tell me exactly what that woman told you, I will let you know if you have to retake todays lesson.”
