While getting the muck and god knows what else out of his ass crack James finally had time to think.
"Who the fuck was that jackass and why the fuck was it such a big deal that I wasn't turned into a god damned chicken?"
I may not have been some fucking weeb but I've at least kept up to date on the mainstream shit and this smells of some A-grade Gish Galloping bull shit if I've ever smelt it.
"And what the fuck is that Matrix bull shit? Am I in some fucking video game or something?"
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Analysis: The Spell Sphere Matrix, also known as the Roots of creation or by more primitive cultures as Lay lines. |
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Allows for living beings to access and channel the power of the world for their personal use. |
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Access to the Spell Sphere Matrix is only limited by ones familiarity with its inner workings and ones own mana channels. Notice: User has been granted access to view their level of Skill Proficiency. |
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Well well ye finally asked a smart question for once. Keep that up and maybe ya might be able to figure out how ye're going to get yourself out of that shit show of a mess ya've gotten yourself into. |
You gotta be fucking shitting me, I can't even have a fucking private conversation with myself without fucking Big Brother Jack Sparrow looking ass breathing down my fucking neck!
And holy shit! I got magic?
"How the fuck do I see my skill proficiency?"
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Analysis: |
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Agility: 24 [Average] (Klutz +5)
Spoiler
Infected with Mogg Poison. Fear the loo for a day! [collapse]
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Skills:
Spoiler
Animal Handling (General): 4/10 [collapse]
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Blessings: Star child's blessing
Spoiler
Born not from the warm flesh of a mother but the cold embrace of the endless cosmos. Enhanced Spiritual awareness for one who's mind has already touched the unfathomable. Enhanced Affinity to supernatural forces, such as Mana or Psychic fields. Your brush with the endless void has gifted you insights into the underlying workings of the spoken word. You can pick up new languages as if they were second nature to you. [collapse]
Drunken Master!
Spoiler
You have been blessed by the God of Drunkards and Wayward travelers. Sensing the Cardinal directions comes naturally to you and Tavern patrons feel a bit more familiar with you. [collapse]
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Titles: Klutz:
Spoiler
Not even half a day old and you've already tripped over not only your own feet but an entire other person as well. Enhanced Agility will be granted since Gods know you need it! [collapse]
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James was honestly flabbergasted...
When the fuck did those green shits infect me?
Thinking deeper about it, he was floating in that shit water for who the fuck knows how long... well. apparently half a fucking day it seems. He should count his lucky stars he didn't get a serious case of the hives or some fucking weird magical STD....
"Aside from that... What the fuck are these skills even? and for a Gods blessing that sure is some weak sauce shit blessing. So I know what way north is? and some random asshole behind the counter won't instantly hate my guts just from looking at me or some shit like that? Fuck, at least this insulting ass title actually gives me a real fucking boost... Fuck, why am I even complaining, beggars can't be choosers and Jesus fucking knows I'm a fucking pauper among paupers right now."
Wait, does this mean kass wasn't even speaking English a moment ago? Now that I think about it... shit that was some real Old timey Latin shit we were tossing back and forth.
James had to pull himself out of his thoughts, at this rate Kass could come back and he still wouldn't even fucking know how hard he can swing a bat... Which honestly better be good considering he made varsity, if not for his career kicking off into high gear he probably would have gone national...
Coach always did say I was better in the field or as pitcher then a batter, but what the fuck is all this theatre shit? I never tried out for any plays or shit like that?
After giving it some more thought it actually made sense. His job always required everyone be able to at least hear him and he did attend a lot of seminars learning how to make one self heard loud and clear. It was interesting to see it paid off well here.
Not only did it translate over, but it seems all of his work place skills translated over into some form or another. Even his love and care for his pets was converted. Everything looked pretty good... that is... except one...
"FUCKING SHIT GOD COCK SUCKING BALLS WHAT THE BITCH NONSENSE CRAP IS THIS! COMMUNICATION SKILLS ZERO!?!?"
One of your spoiler tabs puts some yellow text on a white background which makes it hard to read. Just a heads up if you continue using the format.
OHHHHH I see it now... I use the built in dark theme so I was like "the f*cks he talking about?" Till I switched it over... Seriously though, who doesn't use dark mode on sites these days?