Darkness surrounds him, and then gradually melts away, and again Yue finds himself in a sea of red. This one is different though. For one thing, it doesn’t move, and for another, the red is further accentuated with black and gold, as Yue comes to discover when he lifts the gauzy red veil.
Red veil?
Yue’s eyes dart around the room, taking in the double happiness signs, the Mandarin ducks, the dragons and phoenixes and his own red- and gold-embroidered attire, and he thinks: What the Hell is going on here?
For a brief moment, Yue wishes he could’ve asked the System for an explanation. The moment passes quickly though, and when Yue stops shaking his head, he’s both lightheaded and nauseous.
“Shixiong, you’re awake.”
Awake yes, but likely hallucinating quite badly. Because that’s most definitely the demon bastard, also wearing red.
“What the Hell is this?” Yue asks outright. “What are you⸺?”
The demon bastard catches his hands with his own and gives them a light squeeze. “Taking responsibility.”
Huh? “Taking responsibility?”
“Shixiong, don’t you remember?”
Honestly, the gall. Yue smacks at the other’s hand. “Who’s your shixiong?! I’m no one’s⸺!”
“That’s fine by me,” says the demon bastard, capturing one errant limb and then the other. “In fact, this is better.”
He leans in. Yue tries to kick him then, but somehow, this ends with them both on the bed and with Yue pinned in an undoubtedly compromising position.
How is this better? Yue wants to ask, but the demon bastard speaks up again before he has the chance.
“I’ve been looking for you, you know?” Youming Jun smiles, watching him with a strange kind of fondness. “I looked for you over at the Green Jade Peaks and then elsewhere, because I knew I had to find you. I even went back to the Demon Realm to settle the score with my uncle. That obviously didn’t go over too well though, as you’ve probably already figured. I’m still happy that I did though.”
“Why?”
Why had he been looking for him?
Why did he want to find him?
Why was this better?
Yue screws his eyes shut. His chest feels much too tight.
“Yue?”
Yue snaps his eyes open and immediately lunges for the edge of the bed. A bucket appears before him and he immediately grabs it as an even stronger wave of nausea crashes over him. And even after it has passed, he sits there clutching the bucket like a lifeline until Jun takes it away and hands him a piece of cloth to wipe his mouth.
“Must’ve been quite a nightmare,” Youming Jun mutters, rubbing circles on his back. “You’re coughing up blood again.”
Hah. “Yeah, it was pretty fucking bad.”
It had been pretty bad, but⸺
“How bad?”
Hah. “Wedding. Ours.”
Predictably, this gives the demon bastard a pause. “Oh. Right. No need to worry though – as far as the Demon Realm is concerned, we’re already married.”
Right.
Yue rinses his mouth to get rid of the worst of it before he speaks up again. “Don’t you usually need to consummate this sort of thing?”
“Consummate?” the demon bastard repeats, momentarily confused. “You mean like⸺”
He makes an illustrative hand gesture, and at Yue’s terse nod, he finally elaborates.
“Well, some demons do it like that, but different clans have different customs. Besides, marriage, for many, is a matter of securing an alliance. The type of consummation you’re referring to isn’t strictly necessary – at least not in my clan. I mean, many do it, but... it’s not a necessity. Personally, I’m satisfied with this companionship – sharing meals, sharing a bed and all that. I mean, I wouldn’t necessarily mind doing that other stuff, but...”
He trails off, averting his eyes. He wants to say something more, but holds himself back; Yue can tell. It becomes even more obvious when the other abruptly changes the subject.
“Think you can eat today?”
Yue honestly isn’t sure, but⸺ “I can try.”
The demon bastard leaves quickly, slinking out of the room with his figurative tail in-between his legs. Because Yue is fairly certain that the other doesn’t have an actual tail – fairly certain, yes, but by no means entirely. The demon bastard does evidently possess certain animal characteristics after all, so it’s not entirely outlandish to assume that the other might be able to shapeshift. It isn’t, but it isn’t any of Yue’s business anyhow. Still, considering the fact that they’d likely be cohabiting for the foreseeable future⸺
“I don’t recall ever seeing these before...”
“I have,” the demon bastard murmurs, nuzzling shamelessly into the crook of Yue’s neck. “Saw them by accident once, back at the sect. Couldn’t quite look at that Jiao Ziyu guy the same way after that...”
Well, now that makes two of them. Still⸺ “This is hilarious. Are there more?”
The demon bastard lets out a slight huff, and the arms around his middle tighten. It isn’t necessarily a no though.
Yue smiles. “How many of them carry an uncanny resemblance to Master?”
The arms around him tighten even further, to the extent that it’s almost getting hard to breathe.
“You’re already in my arms, yet all you seem to think about is other men,” Jun mumbles, clearly miffed, and Yue sighs, finally putting down the demon bastard’s strangest offering to date.
“You’re the one who decided to bring mildly erotic illustrations into the bedroom, Jun. What did you think would happen?”
The grip loosens and then tightens once again, albeit not quite as much as previously.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jun mutters. “Earlier, you mentioned Jiao Ziyu, and then I remembered those things...”
“Good work.”
Saying this, Yue reaches up to pet his hair.
Predictably, the demon bastard leans into the touch, purring all the while. And Yue tolerates it, and not just because he’s in a reasonably good mood today.
Yue has very much encouraged this behaviour.
The demon bastard would’ve hardly dared to take such liberties otherwise.
“Jun.”
There’s a sleepy murmur in response, barely audible over the purring, but Yue reasons it’s good enough.
“Jun,” Yue says. “I might not remember this in the morning, but if you do, then I want you to help me out with something.”
The purring almost immediately stops. Then Jun simply says: “Yes?”
“I don’t like it,” the demon bastard grumbles, his head laid out on top of Yue’s lap. “I don’t like it, but⸺”
He trails off, clearly enjoying the feel of fingers running through his hair and very reluctant to move. He’s not the only one enjoying himself either, but⸺
“I’m not asking whether or not you like it. I’m asking whether or not you’ll do it.”
“Why should I?” Jun mumbles in return. “What do I get out of this?”
Well⸺ “Depends. What do you want?”
The demon bastard blinks his eyes open. Then, with a sleepy noise, he sits himself up to stare at him. He blinks slowly a few times, then finally asks: “Can I have you?”
Hah. “Don’t you have me already? You bloody kidnapped me.”
“Tch,” Jun mutters. “I’ll have you know that kidnapping is a perfectly viable courting method in many parts of the Demon Realm.”
Well, this definitely comes as news to Yue – news, but not a surprise. Still⸺ “We’re not in the Demon Realm right now. You’ve brought me here, yes, but if you want to keep me⸺”
“Yeah?” The demon bastard leans in, evidently hopeful, and Yue takes his face into his hands, holding it in place.
“I have conditions,” Yue says.
“Name them.”
Hah. “Are you sure about this? Are you really sure you want this?”
The demon bastard’s lips curl upwards, baring just the slightest hint of fangs as he puts his hands atop of Yue’s. “Why shouldn’t I?”
Well⸺ “You know what I’m like. You don’t know if or what I’ll remember or when. You don’t know when or if I’ll ever get better. Even as a half-blood, you ought to be able to find better prospects. Why me?”
“Why not you?” Jun asks, dislodging his hands, then holds them. “Why not Yue?”
Yue doesn’t know what to say to that – how to respond. He finds himself staring into the demon bastard’s eyes and finds the other’s gaze surprisingly earnest – earnest and fond.
Then warm thumbs brush over his knuckles, and Yue suddenly finds it a bit difficult to breathe.
“I’ll do whatever I can to fulfil Yue’s wishes,” Jun says, smiling as he lifts one of Yue’s hands to his lips. “Whether it’s to save that icy bastard or for revenge, I will do it.”
Ah. This is⸺
“Good. I’ll try to remember that.”
He’d try, but⸺
“I’ll remind you,” Jun says. “How ever many times it takes.”
It’s dark, it’s night, it’s cold, there’s light.
It’s bright, it’s day, there’s warmth.
Jun basks out in the sunlight, whereas Yue sticks to the shaded parts of the garden. Everything’s too bright – everything’s too loud.
Then all is quiet once more – quiet and dark under the light of the full moon. He faces Jiao Ziyu as a stranger, giving him what he needs to resolve Master Bai’s situation – and Yue thinks it’s enough. It’s fine even if he doesn’t get his revenge – if Master Bai’s situation is resolved, then there’s one thing less to worry about.
But it doesn’t go like that. Bai Mingyue isn’t content. Bai Mingyue comes after him. And it isn’t just a Peak Lord Bai; it’s his Master Bai.
They’d only locked eyes for a brief moment, but that had been enough to tell.
Master Bai had seen him – Master Bai had recognised him – and he’d been furious.
Yue hadn’t been prepared for this – to face Master Bai, alone. But Jun, the bastard, had somehow allowed this to happen.
Grabbed and dragged and locked inside a room with a furious Master Bai, Yue doesn’t know what to do. He feels the panic rising but tries not to show it.
Master Bai isn’t fooled however – he isn’t fooled but rather exasperated, and promptly retrieves something from his sleeve.
In short order, it’s pushed into Yue’s hands; a slightly damp piece of cloth.
“Take this,” Master Bai says. “Hold it over your nose and mouth, and breathe normally, understood?”
Yue obeys in spite of not knowing what Master Bai had put on it. Because there’s definitely something on it, and Yue had seen this method utilised every now and then, but always on other people and never on him – as far as he remembers, at any rate, which means little, especially now.
The first breath does little, but by the second, Yue feels himself hit by a wave of vertigo. Then, by the third, his knees buckle beneath him.
“Good.” The piece of cloth falls to the floor as Yue is shifted, then lifted and cradled in Bai Mingyue’s arms. “Looks like you still know to follow some directions.”
Yue finds himself in too much of a daze to offer up a proper response. Master Bai doesn’t really seem to be looking for one though, sitting down cross-legged with Yue on his lap.
“Unfilial disciple,” he snaps, forcing Yue’s head back up. “Look at me.”
Yue looks, staring up into that positively glacial stare. Then he allows his eyelids to fall back shut and his body to fall limp. He doesn’t actually think he’ll be able to fool anyone, but⸺
The fingers previously grasping Yue’s chin manoeuvres his head to lean against the side of Bai Mingyue’s throat as the man takes his pulse.
“You...” the other says. “I looked for you. I looked for you, I looked for you for years. But you hid from me. You hid from me, so I stopped looking. I stopped looking, because I thought... I thought that if I waited, then you’d come back to me. I thought that you’d come back to me when you were ready. But you never came. You never⸺”
There’s a strange noise from above, and Yue opens his eyes despite recognising that it would be a very bad idea.
And Bai Mingyue notices; Master Bai notices immediately, and whatever that previous emotion had been, it’s quickly replaced by anger.
“Why?” the man hisses. “Why didn’t you?! Why wouldn’t you?! I waited for you! I waited for you! I wanted to make sure that I’d get it right this time around; that I’d be a master worthy of such a disciple! That was all I wanted! That’s all I really⸺”
Again, something looking suspiciously much like actual tears spill from Bai Mingyue’s eyes, convincing Yue now more than ever that he must be dreaming or hallucinating again. Because the Master Bai he knew would’ve never cried or uttered so many words in quick succession, especially not about anything other than medicinal cultivation. So, if this isn’t a dream, then it’s undoubtedly a hallucination.
Satisfied with this conclusion, Yue closes his eyes again and burrows his head into the crook of Bai Mingyue’s neck, and although the man stiffens, he doesn’t push him away. Rather, the arms around him tighten. It’s not unpleasant though; Yue feels strangely safe.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I can’t go back with you. I can’t be the disciple you remember. I can’t be the Yue you want. I’m not. I’m⸺”
Unsuitable. Unworthy.
Yue takes a deep breath, very much aware of the tightness of his chest and the burning in his eyes. He can’t cry; he’s long past such things.
“We can’t always get the things we want the most,” he offers up instead, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. “Sometimes, we might even be better off never having them in the first place.”
The hallucination of Bai Mingyue makes this noise; this strangely wounded noise. Then that cool anger is back. “Fool.”
The tone is harsh but⸺ the touch is gentle. But then, the hand the back of his head starts to stay downwards. It slides down the back of his neck and then comes to an abrupt stop.
Then, with a muttered curse, Master Bai suddenly tugs him forward and holds him in place while prodding at his nape. And it’s at this exact moment that Yue remembers, remembers what’s there.
Then he feels it – he feels it and he cannot help but flinch, feeling that chilly stab of qi. It doesn’t remain like that for long however – it remains cool, but it softens and swells and then gradually overwhelms him. Then he’s hauled back up and brought face-to-face with Master Bai.
The latter’s aura is undeniably murderous. However, the look in those glacial eyes is a lot gentler, even pitying.
“Don’t worry,” Master Bai reassures him. “I will definitely kill him.”
Yue blinks, and then the hallucination is gone. It leaves something behind though; an outer robe, draped over him like he’s some maiden whose modesty needed to be protected.
Confused, Yue reaches up to touch it. It certainly feels real enough, but⸺
“This one is no longer your shīfu⸺”
Of course not. Yue’s isn’t⸺
“⸺Call me yìfù.”
He blinks. Then there’s a hand resting atop his head, and then⸺
Jun says something, redirecting Master Bai’s attention, allowing Yue precious time to compose himself.
This is it; Yue realises this as he sees the visibly disconcerted Jiao Ziyu.
This will one of the few, quite possibly even his only chance at going ahead with the plan; with his revenge.
It’s petty of him, yes, and very much so, because the man before him isn’t the one to give him that fateful piece of advice.
But then⸺
Everything ends, and then it starts over, and Yue wakes up.
