Chaos. Pure, utter chaos.

When a humongous shadow covers the ship, its deafening shriek breaking the runes in a shower of falling glasses, panic ensues.

The glimpse of freedom only to have it taken away is the greatest terror of any liberated prisoner. For these people, to be given hope and lose it soon after, is a nightmare not many can withstand. 

Some have thrown themselves overboard while some have surrendered to their fear, their bodies dropping in graceless heaps.

And Hao Fang, Hao Fang is nowhere to be seen, the force of qi from the giant winged monster sending him thousands of miles away.

There’s no one to protect them. Just like that.

Her brown eyes tremble, and tears well as they remain frozen in their wide-eyed expression. The bird of prey is a majestic beast. Rainbow feathers and wings, wings so wide and strong, leaving no doubt of the disaster and the lives they can take with a single swing. It towers them all and a light from somewhere reflects the unsheathed talons sharp enough to rive a body in half.

The horror bound to happen rolls in her mind akin to a film in a fast-forward momentum, bodies both whole and broken take center stage. She can faintly hear Xiaoxi’s voice and offhandedly, she is saddened she will never know if the woman did transmigrate or not.

Their impending death showers an unexpected calm to her psyche.

Her vision darkens and dizziness engulfs her.

I don’t want to die.

When she loses consciousness, she never once noticed the Bell of Discernment’s silence.

 

Xiaoxi. That is the name the children call her.  Cai Xiaoxi. That is the name of this body as her memories informed her. A familiar name, from one of her loyal customers perhaps?

The original body died, battered and broken but with one last will, she has ended it in her own way; saving a life. Like how she once saved the man she loved. Through self-sacrifice.

“Xiaoxi-jiejie!” The children cry, holding on to her skirt in whatever way they can. 

Cai Xiaoxi bites her lip as she steadies on her heels. The ship sways from side to side from another round of blasting wind. She hugs them as tight as she could, her grip bruising and unyielding. 

She needs to stow the kids in a safe area but if she dares relinquish a step, she’ll be blown away as well. 

Cai Xiaoxi spots a black robe standing still in the distance, the woman’s back concealing whatever expression she may have. Her back reminds Cai Xiaoxi of the teenagers she’s been teaching back in the orphanage; stubbornly straight spine yet with shoulders still too small to carry the weight of adulthood.

“Shit!” Cai Xiaoxi curses. She needs to prioritize the children rather than worry over the other one. She can handle herself, Cai Xiaoxi thinks.

“Look!” A small child’s gasp of wonder piques everyone’s interest. Their gaze landing on the black-robed female and her emblazing body. 

Cai Xiaoxi stands unmoved, her whole body in the midst of stasis as if time itself has stopped. The rolling waves, the tumultuous skies, and the piercing sound of the beast’s shrill shriek, all vanish in a white-hot glare.

 Flap. Flap. Flap.

The giant bird descends on a perch invisible to Cai Xiaoxi, its long iridescent tail sweeping around Xi Shuang’s body, wrapping her within its giant plumes and pulling her closer towards its wide-open beak.

Stop!

Get away. Hurry!

Splat.

Cai Xiaoxi feels the trickle of droplets from her forehead to her nose and to her horror, shadowy bars loom above their heads. The object’s tapered ends, and squiggly form has reminded her of the monster from the deep they naively thought they’ve survived through.

Wait! Xi Shuang!

Her eyes frantically search a hint of the girl only to discover a black boot sliding inside the bird’s beak, its throat moving up and down as it swallows what appears to be a live Xi Shuang.

Fuck. Fuuuuuuccckkk.

The tentacles meet up above to form a dome, trapping all of them inside and blanketing them in stifling darkness.

Her first day and this happens. Great. Fucking great. 

Cai Xiaoxi wishes she never opened her goddamn eyes. She’ll be dead either way.

“Ah-Xi, you have to wait for me, okay? Wait for me!” 

The dark world, silent and void of color blossoms into a cloud-covered night. Pitter-pattering rain, gray skies, and her...riding a horse. Her wrist throbs after the man has released her wrist, his success in regaining her attention produces a sigh of relief from his mouth.

She hears herself whisper, “goodbye, my prince.” 

The rain covers her tears-streaked face. The man looks back once, his helpless eyes mirror a woman wearing a thin dress, her thighs revealed through slits on her sides. The butterfly clip atop her head wriggles and falls away, freeing her long black hair to whip as wildly as their escape.

“Ah-Xi, that’s an order!” He shouts while the few guards that have evaded their pursuers cluster around him, urging him faster.

“Ah-Xi will do her best, my prince.” Cai Xiaoxi nods and yanks the rein of her horse. They have a plan and its success hinges on how long Cai Xiaoxi can hold off their opponent.

Cai Xiaoxi vows she will accomplish her part even if its completion will mean the end of her own life. Her prince has suffered enough and as his loyal vassal, she will not let him fall into enemy hands even when the enemy has once been her lover.

“Hiyah!”

Darkness flashes.

Pain.

Drip. Drip.

The rustle of a thick garb.

“Any progress?” The cold voice commands.

“Nothing, your majesty.”

Silence. 

Chuckles. 

A cold, hard hand grips her chin. She tries to pull away but the chains keep her limbs in place.

“I always knew you are stubbornly loyal. A pity such loyalty is not directed to zhen.”

Cai Xiaoxi’s eyelids twitch open.

The first item she sees is the golden hair crown keeping silky black hair into a tight, almost painful bun. 

Her eyes lower and meet sword-like eyebrows, icy black eyes, prominent cheeks, and lips, oh, lips that she has once kissed but now utters such unfeeling words.

Her eyes harden and her lips purse.

Pain blooms on her jaw.

“Now, now, spitting on zhen’s face is unbecoming of Myriad Colors’ most talented dancer.”

Droplets of tears land on his callous hand but his visage doesn’t ripple with the tiniest of expression.

A man who truly loves a woman, as he once declared, won’t be as heartless as him at this moment.

Foolish! How long will she avoid the truth? This man hasn’t loved her at all. He only used her to get to her prince. To own him as he owned her; body and soul.

“My prince,” she utters hoarsely, her throat dry from her screams, “knows you are a monster.” She glares even when her lids weigh a ton. ”He will never surrender to a man who’ve hurt his people!”

His dark eyes become addled for a second, reminiscing a scenario with no her in it. “Yes, he will not, will he?”

An unknown hand pinches her heart.

Bastard. Horrible, horrible bastard.

He drops his hand and turns away. “But the living forgets given time while those who are dead will cease to exist in the present.”

He steps outside her torture chamber and gives her one last glance. “Zhen has ample time to pursue. He may be angry at zhen for a time but it won’t change the fact that you are dead.”

He signals to his people. “Xiao-er, in the end, you are still useless.”

No, I am not. My prince treasures me and he will avenge me by bringing you down on your knees.

The room sizzles, the four metal rods on the four corners of the room lights up and take turns electrifying her. The small bolts slither from her head to toe, burning her skin with their zigzagging runs until her whole body is unrecognizable, scarred, and on the verge of death.

The dark curtain falls upon the memory and another comes up.

Cai Xiaoxi is on a riverbank, buckets of clothes waiting for her torn hands to wash. She is on her second rinse, her eyes focusing on the task lest she becomes distracted and glimpses her face on the flowing stream beside her. She has learned her lesson the first time she has caught sight of the scars and the experience has only left her shaken and miserable.

She carefully tends the silken scarf in her hands. She has worn this kind of fabric before, back when her body is smooth and her face doll-like and beautiful.

Now…

Cai Xiaoxi touches her cheek with a trembling finger.

Long gashes crisscrossing all over her face, some are thick and bulging. She has no eyebrows left, not even eyelashes. Her hair has survived her experience but their pull on her head leaves her roots aching. They feel like her scalp is being peeled off slowly yet day by day not even a strand of hair has fallen off her head.

Tears threaten to spill but she does her best to hold it in. If she cries, her skin will crease, pull apart, stretch and ultimately disturb the scars. That will mean another round of pain and a new set of scars come the next morning.

She may have escaped her capture but this new life of hers is another kind of torture in itself.

“Why am I still breathing?” She murmurs, her face impassive while liquid droplets rolls down her grotesque face.

Numerous scenes follow soon after. Her being sold to the slave traders and her dying as she saved a young boy’s life. Cai Xiaoxi has one last wish before she disappeared.

“My prince, may you live in joy and glory.”

Her only regret is not being able to witness her prince taking his rightful throne, the birthright which has been robbed from him during his youth.

Vengeance. This shallow thing.

No, she only has hope...and regret.

Cai Xiaoxi’s consciousness surfaces from the deep slumber of her memories. Her blurred vision focuses on a wide, flat leaf above her.

“Ah, someone’s awake. Finally!” An unremarkable feminine face pops from her left.

“You!” Cai Xiaoxi gapes. “You’re alive!”

The black-robed woman tilts her head with a confused frown. Cai Xiaoxi scans her body from head to toe only to find no abnormality on the woman’s body nor tears on any of her sleeves.

Xi Shuang is fortunately intact.

“Of course I am alive! If not, all of you would have drowned,” Xi Shuang mutters the last sentence with a small pout.  That response confuses Cai Xiaoxi further.

“Where are we?” Cai Xiaoxi remarks as she pulls herself up to a sitting position. Her eyes snag a row of feet on her right side and she glances at the puzzling sight. Bodies big and small lie down in a long line on her right while two bodies are situated on Cai Xiaoxi’s left. 

Further observation reveals chests moving up and down, evidence of life still beating within all those fragile forms. 

They...survived.

“Here, have some water,” Xi Shuang offers a small cup while she kneels beside Cai Xiaoxi. “I don’t know where we are,” she answers Cai Xiaoxi’s question while leaning back and crossing her ankles in front of her. White sand falls off from sleek black boots and Cai Xiaoxi noted the rectangular cloth that protected her and the unconscious crowd from the fine sand beneath their mattress. The sand is the type commonly found in beaches.

Thank goodness they are not in the desert.

“I don’t know what happened after I fainted--”

You were eaten. Cai Xiaoxi says quietly.

“--and then when I woke up, this island and you guys floating about,” Xi Shuang gestures at the sleeping bodies, “is what I’ve seen.”

“The giant octopus and the bird weren’t in sight.”

Thus, the mystery of what happened in between shimmers at the back of their minds.

For Cai Xiaoxi, Xi Shuang’s stellar condition may hold the answer. However, before she can tackle that idea the smell of salty air and the refreshing caress of the wind distract Cai Xiaoxi’s thinking. Her mouth gapes in awe.

A few distance in front of them, a distance of five meters Cai Xiaoxi estimates, is an unmoving shore, undisturbed by the wind and so clear that the fine white sand of the beach can be seen from the clear, crystal green of the water.

“Creepy isn’t it but still dazzling,” Xi Shuang points out when she notices Cai Xiaoxi’s preoccupied gaze.

“Fascinating how earth-like yet alien at the same time,” Cai Xiaoxi murmurs. She has seen countless beaches in her numerous travels around the globe. Sands the color of charcoal, muddy granite, and like this sand, pure white; she has walked on them, buried her toes on the wet grains and watched the sun set or rise.

Yet this shore’s uncanny stillness is a stark reminder of how her world has turned upside down with only a blink of wakefulness. 

“You,” Xi Shuang’s soft call prompts Cai Xiaoxi to look at the woman who appears so young but whose body is so otherworldly that the two combined seem out of place. Cai Xiaoxi recalls Xi Shuang’s swiftness during their evacuation from the destroyed ship and then before, when pure terror has frozen her in her steps. She had seemed like she is possessed, her body far too experienced while her mind a fledgling thing that cannot catch up with the frenzy of the moment.

It is as if she has been thrown into this primitive world, and yes, this is definitely a primitive world, wholly unprepared. Therefore, it isn’t a shock when Cai Xiaoxi hears Xi Shuang’s next words.

“Are a transmigrator, aren’t you?”

Cai Xiaoxi smiles, “what an unusual word to use. I assume you read xuanhuan?”

Xi Shuang breaks into a smile. “I’m more into modern novels but, yup, a mixture of xianxia and xuanhuan is also my cup of...coffee,” she giggles at the pause. 

Cai Xiaoxi raises her hand and pats Xi Shuang’s head. “How old are you?”

Xi Shuang sobers, well aware for whom that question is given. “I was a month less to twenty-three when I woke up here.”

Barely an adult, Cai Xiaoxi’s heart aches from the loss. “You’ve done well.” 

Xi Shuang’s eyes don't blink following her words but as seconds tick by, they redden and she bows her head, muttering a barely audible thank you to Cai Xiaoxi. 

Cai Xiaoxi has grown into adulthood earlier than her sheltered peers, her love of reading accelerating the growth even more so. She has known the moment her eyes glimpse the world of her waking that the place is not the home she has built, known with utmost clarity that her lovely fantasies have become brutally real.

Dread settles in her stomach but Cai Xiaoxi hasn’t reached her modern position by being a ninny when a situation calls otherwise. No, the dangerous the environment, the clear-headed she becomes. 

The instinct to survive rousing in full force. Still, her heart won’t allow her to ignore those who need protection and comfort. This woman, girl, on her haunches is one such creature. Someone who needs a shoulder to cry on.

Someone who knows. Someone who cares.

“What’s this? Someone bullying you?”

A shadow blocks what little sunlight has escaped from the makeshift roof of leaves and branches which covers those who sleep. Another set of black boots parks beside Cai Xiaoxi. The leather has the telltale sign of a material well-cared for, proof that whoever cleaned the shoes has done so with meticulous motions.

“Oh, our scarred beauty is awake I see.”

Cai Xiaoxi stares at the unfamiliar man, no, not so unfamiliar, she recalls. That beggar-looking man has disappeared and in his place is this man with such deep violet eyes. He saved them or tried to but is blown away to pieces. He is as uninjured as everyone else.

At the mention of a scar, Cai Xiaoxi’s fingers unconsciously trace her cheeks. When she touches a bump long and thin her hand begins to tremble. The mere stroke has brought back the atrocity her body has undergone.

“Do you have a mirror?” She asks the man. Xi Shuang, on the other hand, is making an effort to dust her robes as she stands, keeping her head low and away from their sight.

“Lang Yi.” The man commands in the air without pausing from his own blatant observation of Cai Xiaoxi.

A man, a teenager in the cusp of adulthood to be precise, kneels after his swift appearance and hands a plain copper metal.

Cai Xiaixi’s eyebrows furrow with disappointment settling in her bones. Such primitive designs. Fortunately, the cogs in her brain turn, one she can use to her advantage. After the contemplation, numerous business ideas sprout in her head. Mirrors, she decides, will be at the top of the priority list. The modern mirror with its clear and unblemished surface is sure to be a great hit here.

“Are you sure you want to see your ugly face?” The man questions without any tact.

“Hao Fang!” Xi Shuang hisses. 

“Perhaps uttered with strategic intent,” Cai Xiaoxi notes. After all, words are weapons too. Unfortunately for him, she has already expected the barb coming, not the exact words but his antagonistic glower is hint enough.

“Yes,” Cai Xiaoxi breaks the argument brewing between the two with a small smile. “A woman who cares about face will only remain shallow all her life never experiencing the deep waters beneath.”

“Besides,” Cai Xiaoxi continues when Hao Fang raises a brow, “you wouldn’t mind lending your own lovely mask for this ugly woman, would you?”

“Oho?” Hao Fang smirks and crouches to stare Cai Xiaoxi eye-to-eye. “What’s your work hmm? Must be an administrative position, people handling that have an eye for details.”

“Ah, how could I have such an esteemed position?” Cai Xiaoxi laughs while taking the copper mirror and holding it parallel to her face. “I am afraid I am only a lowly servant in the scheme of things.”

Cai Xiaoxi drops her gaze to the mirror and despite preparing herself beforehand, she still stiffens.

The face staring at her is beyond ugly, having only small patches of smooth skin here and there while the rest of her is marred with fractals akin to roots, branching out the longer they get. The difference is, the roots on her face do not have a single origin, they are all disorganized. Due to that some scars overlap, few merges to grow into big lumps, and the rest are thin marks, the tail-end of their original source.

Cai Xiaoxi inspects her neck, slides a robe past her shoulder, and checks her thighs unabashedly. Roots, roots, horrible, horrible root-like marks all over her body.

No, not roots. Lightning.

Her nails draw blood from her tightly fisted hands. This is far worse than what she imagined. Soon, her hands slowly relax. This face isn’t the worst she, the new Cai Xiaoxi, has experienced. Skin is shallow after all.

Physical ache, Cai Xiaoxi reminds, is easier to fix. Wounds from the mind in comparison, yes, they weaken even the most able-bodied man. They fester in hidden corners, growing to become a person’s undoing even when they only exist and do nothing. Cai Xiaoxi won't allow this tragedy to borne another kind of monster. No, her triumph from her past struggle will not be challenged.

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