The hum of voices has woken her up. A presence approaches her carrying a solid object.

Two’s hand shoots up and catches the intruder.

“Master!” Lang Yi does not move an inch while making sure the contents of the tray don’t spill.

Two smells the scent of food and lets Lang Yi go. 

“Report.”

Lang Yi is quiet at first as he sets down the tray on the table. “The battle destroyed one fourth of the island and I found you unconscious in the edge of the battlefield. You were bleeding but it was clear someone had healed you, albeit in the minimum way possible. The day after, everyone woke up but you remained unconscious for a week. We took camp not far from our previous position but in a safer, elevated position.”

“Xi Shuang?”

“I could not get ahold even of her shadow, master. I’m afraid my cultivation is not enough to seek her signature qi.”

Two grasps her kilt. “Have you seen our battle?”

Lang Yi shakes his head.

“Go. Patrol our territory and look for Xi Shuang.” Two levels a stare. “If you find her, report to me immediately. Do not engage.”

“As ordered.”

Trapped in an island with a crazy power. Fuck. Is this a survival game or something? Or a book.

A shadow lingers outside Two’s tent.

“Is that you Cai Xiaoxi?”

The silhouette hesitates. “Yes. Can I enter?”

“En.”

A smooth hand with a pianist’s fingers slides the cover of Two’s tent and a foreign face enters. The scarred woman is no more. Instead, the face is covered with smooth skin, sharp cheekbones, and upturned eyes. Her softly slanting eyebrows completes her placid facade.

“Did you steal one of my masks?” Two utters in a languid manner.

“Your dedicated subordinate gave it to me, his master’s lady.” Cai Xiaoxi’s lips twitch. “His words, not mine.”

“Ah, that declaration of mine back on the slave ship.” Two shrugs her shoulders, winces, and shrugs again...just to prove she can even when the pain is excruciating.

“You can have one, I have a lot anyway.”

“Thank you. I didn’t want to return it though,” Cai Xiaoxi sits on the chair beside Two’s bed. “Even if you ask I won’t.”

“Since you’re here, I might as well ask you about this world. The book-world.”

Cai Xiaoxi settles her hands on her lap. “I don’t remember. I just know we are in a book. It is a book I am extremely knowledgeable of but something is blocking my mind from the dam of information.”

Two hears the truth in her words and she nods. She recalls her own amnesia. “The loss of memory must be the side effect of appearing in this world. It was temporary for me but Xi Shuang hasn’t remembered her own name yet so, I cannot assure you of your own. It may or may never come.”

“I have no problems with that. I know enough to be able to survive.” Her straight spine and confident smile speak volumes of her spirit. This woman is also someone to watch out for.

“Perhaps that’s the reason for the select memory.” Two begins to theorize. “If we are inside a book, that means there are already predestined scenes for our characters.”

“You mean, the loss of some memory can influence us to act in a certain way, triggering an event created for our character?”

“You play otome games, don’t you?” The choice of the words trigger and event are identifying enough. Few people use them in a sentence.

Cai Xiaoxi chuckles without a flush of embarassment. “I’m good at them too.”

“That is most likely,” Two answers Cai Xiaoxi’s speculation. “If we are living in a book, then our future is not ours to make.”

The moving shadows, shuffling feet, and conversations outside fill the silence in the tent.

“That pisses me off, by the way.”

Cai Xiaoxi smiles. “Lovely. I’m not alone in the sentiment.”

“That cursed Xi Shuang!” Two complains and plops on her pillows. “I wished she’d spit it out earlier. Hmph! What a pain.” Her grumpy theatrics, however, cannot drown the worry she holds for the little pitbull.

 

 

In the northern portion of the island, at its tip to be exact is a steep entrance to a cave submerged during high tide and hidden by clusters of giant stones on low tide. At its outer chamber is the missing person of the trio. 

Fan Shuangxi sleeps covered with a white robe, her hair a messy clump atop her head. Her eyebrows scrunch and gradually, her eyes open, the hue in them a normal and unassuming brown.

She turns her head to the side and her sleep-laden lids flutter wide open. Sitting on his kneeling legs a hand’s reach away is Shen Qian. His white robes spreads around him like a gown, his hair flows downwards without any tangles, and his fingers are steepled together on his lap.

He wears an expression devoid of peace or sorrow, a face of a statue; bland and without a spark of life...just like water.

She stares at him some more and wonders if he is awake or not. Is it night or day? 

As if hearing her question, Shen Qian’s lids move upward and his nightsky eyes sparkle in this dull room.

Day then.

“What do I need?” Shen Qian is here for one reason and one reason only. Therapy.

“Training.”

“Training,” Fan Shuangxi blinks. “What? Why?”

A barrage of memories sweeps her thoughts away.

She sucks a breath. “I almost killed Hao Fang.” Tears well in her eyes and she fists her hands on her lap. “I almost took a life.” The last is spoken in a rough voice, her throat convulsing in its struggle to cry or to speak.

“You absorbed too much in a short period of time. Such a reaction is expected.” Shen Qian’s response is cool and rational. It only serves to trigger Fan Shuangxi’s crazy.

“Expected?” Fan Shuangxi shrieks. “I almost squeezed a living, breathing person’s heart to a pulp!” Her fingers tremble and she whispers, “I can still feel it on my fingertips. Wet, slippery, and then its lubdub beating.” Her hands shake and she holds them together, clamping them to her chest while the tremors take full control of her body.

“My god,” she hoarsely cries out while tears roll down her cheeks. “It was so small compared to its function and if I had squeezed just a little tighter, blood would pump faster, pressure would increase, and then organ failure.”

A life snuffing out with just a mere action and she is the one in the position of power.

Shen Qian lets Fan Shuangxi continue in her mutterings. When she has purged out her heartache, Shen Qian resumes. “Your body needs to sleep in order to train, at the same time absorb the qi you’ve gathered.”

“Sleep! Again?” Fan Shuangxi exclaims. Her rea body is sleeping while she cultivates. Now, her doll needs to sleep to train? What the? This kind of weirdly awesome learning method would have been useful back in college.

“Why can’t I do it while I’m awake?” Not that she doesn’t like sleeping but being awake is a sign of a living person.

“You will be easily distracted.”

“And?”

“...”

“Care to expound?”

“...”

“Elaborate?”

“...”

Shen Qian blinks. “My second sibling wishes to be given the honor to show you why you need to sleep.”

Fan Shuangxi swivels from side to side. She doesn’t see anyone in the room aside from Shen Qian and her. “Your sibling? Where? And how?”

“We talk as any normal siblings would.”

“And?”

“...”

Fan Shuangxi throws her hand. “Oh, for goodness’ sake!” Then, an idea occurs in her head. She snaps her fingers together. “So, that’s how you two communicate.”

“...”

“Shen Qian.”

The stone walls shudder while Shen Qian nods his head from his spot. The random shaking dies down and silence pervades.

“So, where is your sibling?”

“Here.”

“Where?”

Shen Qian taps the floor. “This room is one of their bodies.”

Fan Shuangxi’s chest expands. “A giant?” It is a random question.

“In the mortal language, yes. However, it will take a while for one of their consciousness to sublime. This island is an extremely remote area and the guardian of this land had long gone to eternal sleep.”

The Giants. The second child of the Mother Goddess. One given with the task to bring forth flora and sustain fauna. The caretakers of the Earthen realm is said to have disappeared soon after creating all ten continents, said to have let the Mother Goddess’ youngest child full reign on the vast lands they’ve conjured amidst the wounded plateau; the resulting land from the great war between Gods and the faction now known as Demons.

“How would a giant fit in this tiny room?” Fan Shuangxi murmurs. She stares off to space as her imagination has taken her to different scenarios.

Fan Shuangxi’s vision distorts in a colorful kaleidoscope but the shade of earthy green dominates. She waves a hand to disperse the cloud from her face. The cloud wavers and reforms into a cloudy diamond, beaming with such delight that her mood brightens in tandem.

The cloud glitters, stretching and contracting in the same manner of a stretchable object. It circles her, showering her in glitter in its welcome.

Hi! Hello! Notice me, it seems to tell.

Aw, so cute.

Look, look, look, it eagerly calls out. 

Fan Shuangxi scuttles closer. 

Clouds cover her eyes and a different scene plays out. In this act, Fan Shuangxi is looking around. She spots a small animal, a squirrel but not quite like the squirrel on her world. It approaches her without any fear. Fan Shuangxi thinks it wants to be petted. Alas! It only took the cherry beside her feet.

What a horrible squirrel. I hope your cherry chokes you. Hmph! 

Then, she meets a hog next. The nasty animal chases her for many yards before abandoning her in favor of different prey.

Tsk! Don’t make me see you again else I’ll barbecue you!

Lastly, she stands on a cliff and gazes up the sky. She mutters to herself.

I wish there’s a shooting star so I can make a wish.

Fan Shuangxi chuckles at the absurdity of the wish but the next moment she looks up the sky, the stars are falling. White lights traveling in straight lines, away from her but still seeking her attention, her approval.

A star falls near her and lights up her surroundings. As Fan Shuangxi turns, she smells the delicious aroma of grilled meat waiting for her. She eats it with gusto and after, when she is sated, she finds it blocking her path.

A dead squirrel-like creature, its mouth open, and the smooth surface of a cherry peeking from behind its fangs.

The vision retreats and Fan Shuangxi is back again within the stone cave.

“The path of the future and the past are shouldered by Mother’s first and second child. The ocean shall carve a way and the earth shall preserve its history, of what had been and what could have been.”

“What you’ve seen was once a possible future but is now what could have been.”

Fan Shuangxi wets her lips. The message is received loud and clear. “Will such an event happen again?”

“In that small a scale, no.”

Fan Shuangxi tenses and she meets Shen Qian’s nightsky eyes. “The threads of your future is now dyed in red. Considerable amount of lives will be lost from here on out if you continue your way.”

“Why am I straddled with this power, Shen Qian? How could a mere thought has that effect?” Pulling the stars, barbecuing a hog, and choking a squirrel. All done because of casual thoughts with no ill actions. Her mind is the only place she feels most secure. It is where her thinking cannot be judged by outsiders. Even though they can be ugly at times but that’s what makes her identity. Besides, actions matter more than the horrendous thoughts within for while she cannot filter her thoughts, she can control her actions. And that’s how she can be a good person. 

To find out that her mere musings can bring debilitating consequences is terrifying.

It tells her one thing; her thoughts are no longer her own. 

Within is not safe anymore.

The diamond cloud encircles her in a warm blanket. “Hello, little giant.” Fan Shuangxi greets, aware of the irony but welcomes it still. The cloud contracts and expands. It rapidly circles around her until a small part of it caresses her face.

Fan Shuangxi’s expression grows solemn. “Tell me, Shen Qian, if I sleep, will that mean lives won’t be lost in the future?” She is unwilling to have innocent blood dye her hands red.

“You,” Shen Qian softly replies with a visage Fan Shuangxi cannot mistake, “will lose less.”

It is grief.

 

 

Ten days later, Fan Shuangxi appears at the settlement, the village Two and Cai Xiaoxi have organized.

“Are you still crazy?” Two’s first question summons laughter from Cai Xiaoxi. The latter thinks it’s funny. She never did witness how crazy Fan Shuangxi had been. 

“Thing is, that’s why I’m here. I’m leaving for a while to get a grip with my self.” Fan Shuangxi explains when there are only the threw of them in an isolated cabin.

“Where are you going?”

“Do you want to leave?”

“I’m not leaving the island per se,” she answers both questions, “I’ll be sleeping somewhere. It’s a deep slumber to stabilize me and to train my control as well.”

“Train, huh.” Two crosses her arms. “I also need to train.” She needs to know her own body inside out, be confident in her own strength so that she won’t lose her own control to the power Hao Fang has left behind.

“Me too,” Cai Xiaoxi adds. “I plan to teach everyone how to fight but for that to happen, I must become strong first.”

“So, the three of us won’t be leaving the island.”

“It seems so.” Two nods. “We can leave though, if we want to. Lang Yi has established a safe route for us.” The way out had revealed itself four days ago, as if they’ve been given permission by someone or something to come and go at will.

“I’ve been discussing a possible business venture,” Cai Xiaoxi starts and unfurls a map of the island with its surrounding waters. “Our location is ideal as a trade route, serving as a stop-over for merchants and the like as well as a safe harbour from the long journey out of the sea.”

“Puzzling, isn’t it? A prime location like this island yet no nation has ever set foot to lay claim.” Two points out, encircling the powerhouses from the east and the south. “That means a fight is waiting for us once we reveal our independent area.”

“Which is a huge problem at this moment. Amassing our own force should be a priority if we wish to gain a foothold.” Fan Shuangxi rubs her nose. “This island,” she starts, “has a natural barrier that will only allow a select few.”

“We are completely camouflaged from any covetous eyes and the barrier will stay until we are ready.”

“Secrets, again, Fan Shuangxi?” Two shots her a mock smile.

“As if you don’t,” Fan Shuangxi bites back.

“Our plans are clear, then?” Cai Xiaoxi intervenes. “Gain strength and an army before we leave our isolation. However, I suggest we do small trades at the side to make a living and encourage growth for our downtrodden citizens.”

“Since we don’t have livestock or agriculture, we can focus on crafts. There are other resources too like the reefs and our forests but since they are currently unexplored, I suggest we save it for later.”

“Agreed.” Is their collective vote.

“Ah, Cai Xiaoxi, before I sleep, I’d like to leave these behind.” Fan Shuangxi hands Cai Xiaoxi a medium-sized box. “I think they’ll help. I’m not an expert in business so, I hope you can utilize them to their utmost value.”

“Certainly.”

“Now that that’s out of the way,” Two props her chin. “Let’s talk.”

Fan Shuangxi sighs. She gestures for Cai Xiaoxi to sit when the latter moves to give them privacy. “This concerns you too.”

Fan Shuangxi takes a deep breath and starts her narrative. “First of all, this is a BL universe.”

“What the fuck is a BL?”

Cai Xiaoxi gasps and her calm disposition bursts into an animated form. “Oh my gosh! I remember!”

“Hey, what is BL?” Two inserts with an annoyed slant of her brows.

“It means Boys Love—oh, oh, oh my gosh! You’re Hao Fang!” Cai Xiaoxi begins to squeal.

She calms down. “But you’re a girl…” And she giggles before her amusement twists into a crying mess. “Oh, dear, this is too tragic. Too tragic.”

Fan Shuangxi, “...” 

Two, “...” 

Cai Xiaoxi’s big sister image shatters into pieces. Two and Fan Shuangxi nod their heads together.

Good. Now, we won’t be suffering illusions about each other.

Two is a short-tempered, manipulative control freak.

Fan Shuangxi is a dependable passive-aggressive coward.

Cai Xiaoxi is a calm, business-minded wild fujoshi.

After Cai Xiaoxi calms down from her fangirling moment. The three begin to discuss what they know.

“I’ll have to write down what I remember from all the books I read about the series. Confirming the timeline will help us navigate the politics and gain some allies.” 

“I’m the least informed than the two of you. In fact, why am I here? At least the two of you have a connection to the series, I don’t.” Two drums her fingers.

“Ironic when you’re a minor character to book two compared to us,” Cai Xiaoxi pauses. “Wait, oh my gosh.” 

She covers her mouth while her eyes are wide open in shock. “Cai Xiaoxi is also a minor character! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I need a cup.”

As Cai Xiaoxi gulps a mouthful of water, Two resumes their discussion. “Lang Yi told me about a myth regarding that light in the ocean.”

“He calls it the Pulse. It is said that it contains the Mother Goddess’ power and appears once every four hundred years. Unfortunately, no cultivator has yet to prove the myth as all are lost in a fight against the spirit beasts.”

“You mean the octopus and the bird?” Fan Shuangxi leans forward. She hasn’t opened Google yet to enquire about the phenomenon that happened weeks ago. 

“Yes. Lang Yi thinks because the light was so bright it summons the creatures in the deep and encourages aggression in them which is why the octopus attacked us that day.”

“How about the bird?”

“The octopus is part of the bird’s diet. Lang Yi describes the octopus as a favorite exotic dish. The bird wouldn’t ignore a chance to eat the delicacy, he said.”

Two shrugs her shoulders. “The truth might be different but I bet your current power is connected to that event. You did fall in the thick of it.”

Fan Shuangxi contemplates. “Perhaps, you are right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Right?”

Fan Shuangxi scowls and for the first time after the near-death experience, Two lets out a bellyful of laughter. It is then that Fan Shuangxi knows, the two of them are going to be fine.

Fan Shuangxi glances down at her hands. She hopes she will never find herself in that same situation in the future because she knows if a repeat happens and she ends a life with these hands, it will break a fundamental part of her. 

Going home by then is impossible.