“I really wasn’t expecting much, but they were actually more than decent.”

“Same, I thought it was just a simple band. I can’t believe they’re really just the same age as us.”

The weekend has come to pass and Lily heard a lot of students talked about the group all day. She went on their Saturday performance as well where a lot more people came in. The success from the previous night had won them a lot of new fans and interested onlookers who checked them out.

During lunch, Lily and Ara ate in the cafeteria.

“I’m just going to the restroom for a bit, Lily.” Ara said.

“Oh sure, want me to come with?”

“It’s alright, I’ll be right back.” She said and as soon as she left, Lily heard some tables mention Ara’s name.

“Is that the girl?”

“What do you think she did to get so close with the members?”

“Well, if you ask me it’s suspicious, maybe she–”

“Shush, not so loud, Gwen.” They leaned in closer and laughed.

“No way, you think?”

“I mean, you can’t judge a book by its cover, right?”

When Ara returned, she found Lily standing outside the cafeteria and was carrying their food.

“What’s wrong, Lily?”

“Let’s eat in the classroom, instead. It’s colder there.” Lily smiled and started walking so Ara followed.

The weird whispers continued the whole week. Whenever Ram and Ara talked in the classroom, there’d be conversations that suddenly stopped or laughter that sounded malicious erupted. In the hallways, people stared whenever Dom dropped by to talk to Ara, even if it was just some business for the band.

On Friday, Lily decided that they’d just buy lunch real quick and then just eat again in the room. They passed by Ram on the staircase who was on his way down and looked like he was both angry and in a hurry.

“Hello Ram—” Ara started but was immediately shot down.

“Don’t talk to me.” He hissed at her.

“Hey!” Lily tried to argue but he only glared at her and left. “What the hell’s his problem?”

“I wonder if I did anything wrong. He has been so nice to me lately too.” Ara looked devastated to be back to square one with him.

“Never mind him Ara. Come on and let’s just eat, I’m hungry.” Lily nudged her and they continued on their way.

“I hope I can apologize to him soon.”

“Don’t bother, I think he’s just in another of his bad moods. Now that I remember, are you going with the band tomorrow? They’re guesting on some TV show, right?”

“Yes, Clarissa’s very excited about it. It would really give the group great exposure.”

“And the guys?’

“Well, everyone seems somewhat okay with it. Vince didn’t want to go, but he has no choice since they have to come as a group.”

“Of course.”

“It’s been really busy every day, they’ve been performing even on weeknights now, although just for one or two songs since they can’t stay too late after all.”

“I’ll be watching them live tomorrow, then.”

“That would be greatly appreciated, Lily.” Ara seemed unconscious of how supportive she’s been of the band lately. Lily didn’t find the change a bad thing.

It was thankfully a daytime show, so Lily woke up just on time the next day, turned on their television in her family’s spacious living room and messaged Ara as she watched. It was another first for the boys, and everyone but Dom looked nervous.

“I’m pretty sure that this is always an interesting topic to viewers, but a group full of young men such as yourselves, are there any lovers?” One of the television show host was a respectful older lady and have been trying to make their guests as comfortable as she can.

“Unfortunately, none for any of us.” Dom mostly answered the questions for the group. Sometimes, Reo chirped in. “We’ve been very busy practicing and preparing every day that it’s just not possible for us.”

“That hardworking attitude of yours, I’m sure that is something that will definitely draw more fans to you.”

“Do you let in some fans when you practice?” Another host asked.

“Oh, I don’t think we’re popular enough for that.” Reo answered.

“Then it’s only strictly you and management?”

“Yes, pretty much.” Vince said, a rare moment that everyone reacted with an ‘ooh.’

“It seems that some staff has caught attention of a photo on your Instagram, about a mysterious girl with you. Is she a friend?” She turned to the monitor behind her that flashed the photo she talked about.

It was a selfie shot of Dom with an unwilling Jules and Ram. In the background, however, was Reo sitting in front of the piano and beside him, a silhouette of a girl although it was mostly covered by Dom. Lily’s heart beat a little faster. She knew that it had to be Ara.

“That? Well, that’s—” Reo started.

“A friend yes, but also, she’s our photographer.” Dom interrupted.

“Oh, I see. Colleagues then?”

“Yes, pretty much.” Dom said and that thankfully ended it. Lily sighed a breath of relief for Dom’s save. She was afraid of what might happen at school if Ara was revealed to be that girl. Not that she was one, but there was always the possibility of jealous fangirls attacking Ara. She shook her head at the idea. Her worry was just getting the best of her.

 

***

 

Ara was aware that she has been getting more stares recently. She didn’t pay them any attention. There were whispers and conversations too. But they never directly attacked her so it didn’t bother her either.

“Did I do anything wrong?” Ara asked Ram after practice on the same day Ram told her never to talk to him again in the stairway. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

“I’m sorry about snapping at you like that.”

“No, I must have done something wrong without knowing. I’m sorry.” Ara said and lowered her head.

“I told you, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. But please, I think it would be better if you don’t talk to me in school. Actually, just don’t talk to anyone.” Ram was mad, but not at her. Maybe a little at her for continuing to be nice to him despite how he’s treated her until recently.

That was last week. Today, it was dismissal and she was with some girls in an unused classroom that has been locked.

“Hey, tell us. What’s up with you and those guys?” A small but commanding girl taunted. They didn’t look dangerous, Ara could tell that much.

“I photograph for them, that’s all.”

“I really don’t have anything to do with them, but a lot of people doesn’t seem to like you a lot so I’d be able to get away with tormenting you a bit, you know.” The small girl said.

“I’m a fan, so I have personal grudge towards you.” Another said and slapped her before Ara could anticipate. “You say you just take pictures, but how dare you get closer than that?”

“I saw you a couple of times going to school with them so early in the morning. You spent the night with them, didn’t you?” Another girl has taken hold of her hair.

“That hurts.” Ara said as she was pushed to a wall and her head slammed against it.

“As for me, I don’t care about the boys but I hate girls like you. You’re a temptress, aren’t you? I can’t believe you have the courage to show your face here. If you create a scandal, you’re gonna ruin the school’s name and affect my chances of getting into a good university.” A girl with glasses gave her the coldest eyes before planting a slap on her other cheek.

Ara knew she should run away. So she stood up and made her way to the door but they easily caught her before she could reach it.

“I’m not a temptress. I didn’t do anything.” She calmly told them.

They just laughed at that. As they taunted her, Ara soon realized that they weren’t just jealous of her for knowing about the band’s members, but they just hated her existence. Some of them held a deeper grudge because she was friends with Lily and exposed them for bullying them before.

She listened to their complaints. Though some were not afraid to physically hurt, others were content with just screaming their hate towards her.

However, when she saw an opening, she seized it and screamed as she ran to the door and opened it. No one dared follow her after she screamed that loudly. She didn’t want to be seen in her state either so she ran away as fast as she could to a place she recently learned about. Surely, no one would be able to find her there.

She sat motionlessly on the floor of the building’s topmost level where she followed Ram not so long ago. It was afternoon but the sky was an uninspiring gray. It would rain soon, but she didn’t move. She had a few cuts, and there were blood from those that transferred to her white uniform. If she sat still in the rain, she might not have to wash them away in a comfort room later.

There were no tears, just that something felt uncomfortably heavy in her chest. She touched it but could only feel her heart beat a little faster from the running. She proceeded to check her arms for any other pain, but besides the physical ones, she seemed to be fine.

“Ara,” A voice suddenly called her to attention and she saw Lily ran to where she was. She caught a shadow behind the door but it quickly went away. Lily surely didn’t know about this place. She stood up and caught Lily in a hug. “Ara, are you okay? What did they do to you?”

“I’m fine. They were just a bit angry, nothing too bad.” Ara assured Lily with a smile. Lily’s face was in such disbelief that she looked like she wanted to slap her too.

“What is wrong with you? You’re hurt this badly, and yet you’re smiling like that at me, for me.” Lily was shaking in Ara’s arms. “I’m so sorry, Ara. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even protect you like the way you did for me, before.”

“Lily, are you crying?”

“No. You’re the one who should be crying.”

“I really am fine.” As she said that, the first drops of rain fell. “We should go inside, it’s raining.” She tugged on Lily and they ran back towards the door. Ram was nowhere to be seen. She was sure it was him who led Lily to this place.

On Lily’s insistence, Ara sat on the backseat with Lily in their car. Lily wouldn’t let her take the train on her own, most especially in her current state.

“Are you really sure that you don’t want to stay the night at my place?” Lily asked again when they were in front of Ara’s apartment building.

“I’m really not prepared for something like that, Lily.” Ara said. “Thank you so much for finding me.” She said as she held onto the car door and was about to open it.

“I’ve been hearing them too. I was so afraid of the past repeating itself to you that I was only trying to gather my thoughts for a moment in the comfort room. When I came back, you weren’t there anymore. And then I heard that scream.” Lily grabbed her other hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“Lily, it’s okay. I really am fine.” Ara let go of the door and hugged Lily tightly. She must have been so frightened. Lily didn’t like to talk about it, but in an effort to heal herself from it, she told Ara once about what she’s suffered before. It was before she moved into the same class she was in with her now. Ara found it admirable that despite having gone through that, Lily thought of her and was concerned for her.

She exited the car and waved as it went away. Lily waved back from a window. She waited until she could no longer see it and then went inside the building. She was a little wet from the drizzle, but it wasn’t bad so she figured she could still take the elevators. She has never tried walking up eighteen flights of stairs, and she wasn’t sure she’d make it.

“Please wait.” A voice called out just before the doors were about to close, so Ara quickly pressed the open button and Jules who turned out to be the voice’s source entered in the car with her. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing.” Ara said with a smile and finally caused Jules to look more closely.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay.” Ara has said this a lot of times to Lily too.

“I don’t think you are, but if you say so.” Jules let it go at that and for the first time, Jules felt the silence between them unwelcome and awkward. Thankfully, they momentarily reached their floor and went into their respective rooms.

Ara decided it was best to treat the wounds first so she looked around the whole apartment for the first-aid kit. She couldn’t find any. She was looking at the bathroom for the second time when the doorbell rung. She opened it to find Jules who held a little box.

“I figured you might need this.” Ara let him in and the box turned out to have medical supplies. “Clarissa left it in our apartment when Reo got himself injured a while back.”

“Thank you, I’ve been trying to find one.” Ara cleaned the wounds up and dressed them up herself. Jules looked at her.

“So that’s how you do it. I guess you didn’t need help after all.” Jules smiled. Ara found it to look so beautiful on him.

“Wow.”

“Huh?”

“Huh?” Ara echoed back. “Oh, I was just surprised. I’ve never seen you smile. You looked very handsome.” She smiled at him and Jules found it hard to meet her eyes.

“What happened? Free to tell me about it?”

“I think so. Some girls in school were just a little mad at me and we were trapped in a room. They were just airing their frustrations on me, although some were just a little mad than others.” She explained. The more she went on, the more Jules raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

“What the hell? That’s not something to be fine and smile about. You don’t have to pretend you’re not hurting, you know. You should cry when you’re hurt or sad or upset, and then smile when you’re happy or content or when something’s funny.” Jules told her with serious eyes. It captivated Ara, those eyes who could focus so much when they wanted to. At the same time, they looked a little mad at her.

“But I don’t feel hurt or sad or upset.”

“Then do you feel happy or content or is something funny?”

“Maybe not.”

“Right? There’d be something seriously wrong with you if you were.” Jules said and Ara laughed. “So, what was the reason they were harassing you like that?”

Ara had a feeling that it would make him feel awkward if she said that one of the reasons was her knowing the band so she shook her head. Jules was suspicious at that, but he didn’t want to press her if she didn’t want to talk.

“I guess I’ll leave this here.” Jules neatly closed the box and threw away the packaging of what Ara used in the kitchen bin.

“Don’t you need it?”

“I can always just come back here to get it.” He said. Ara led him to the door when Jules noticed something. “Hey, you missed a spot.” He pointed to a bigger scratch behind her in a forearm that she could never notice or reach on her own. He pulled Ara by her wrist back to the living area and opened up the first-aid kit again. He imitated what Ara did earlier as he cleaned the wound.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” Jules asked as he pressed a band-aid and finished patching it up.

“It doesn’t hurt at all. Thank you very much.” Her smile was smaller but warm.

“That was literally nothing.” He said, not knowing what to do with such open gratefulness. After which, he left her in the apartment.

You should cry when you’re hurt or sad or upset.

Ara wondered if the heavy feeling in her chest was from any of that. The feeling grew heavier. She hugged her knees as though that would help distribute the load and lighten it.

 

***

 

After a warm shower, Ara prepared dinner. For some reason, she can’t get the flavor right. Soon, Clarissa and everyone came in so she tried her best to bring it up to taste right before serving.

“We’re so lucky we got to experience so many lives this month. You’re having your term break soon, right? I’m planning a trip to a rural town. I think that could make for good photos, and help you get some inspiration for the second album you’re working on.”

“But we haven’t even released the first.” Vince pointed out.

“It doesn’t hurt to always have fresh ideas.”

“Well, if that’s the case then you should probably let us take the finals week in peace so that we can have that term break without issues.” Dominic suggested.

“Of course, your finals are next week, if I recall?”

“No, it’s the week after next.” Reo corrected.

“Oh.”

“Clarissa.” Dominic’s tone was warning.

“Okay, okay, I’ll switch it.”

“You seem very surprised, Ara. What’s up?” Clarissa turned to her.

“I just realized that everyone’s already working so hard on the band, but they’re also not letting up in their studies either.” Ara already found schoolwork alone to be tiring, thus the members impressed her even more.

“Well, we’re not exactly doing that great in that. We’re just aiming to not fail.” Dominic mischievously grinned.

“Except Ram, he’s always absent or late.” Reo poked at Ram.

“I don’t need school anyway, I’ll do so well in music I won’t ever need it.” Ram replied.

“Domi’s being humble. Don’t be fooled Ara, he’s got amazing grades, along with Jules.” Reo informed her.

“Oh yes, Jules, I’m always surprised at this guy. He’s very stupid but he gets such good grades.” Dominic laughed at Jules.

“You must be doing it for your grandma, aren’t you?” Ara harmlessly asked, although Jules immediately blushed.

“What a wonderful grandchild. I definitely want to have a grandson like you.” Dominic nodded approvingly at Jules.

“Shut up, the two of you.” Jules’ shoulders hunched up at all the attention and teasing.

“Does that mean, we’re good to go on our little outing?” Clarissa brought up again after a while. Everyone agreed.

“I’ll have to tell my brother first about it, is that okay?” Ara said.

“Of course, I hope you can join us.” Clarissa looked truly sad at the possibility that her favorite sibling not by blood might not be able to make it.

“Yes, I’ll do my best to convince him.” Ara promised.

 

When morning came, Ara felt the slightest stir of unease at the thought of going to school. Yesterday was not going to repeat itself, right?

“Ara, are you still asleep?” Jules’ voice called out to her at the train station. She was going to school with everyone today, except Dominic who ended up sleeping extra late and asked to not be woken up.

“I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

“It’s fine, t’was nothing.”

They stepped of the station and as they walked on the typical road to school, Ara wondered if they’d be seen that the girls would get mad at her again.

“Excuse me, you guys go ahead, I’m just going to buy something at the convenience store. No need to wait for me.” She told them and turned back.

“Okay, take care.” Reo waved her off.

This should be enough. Surely, the girls wouldn’t be mad at her anymore. The day would simply pass by without a hitch. She looked up at the convenience store’s clock by the entrance and waited for at least ten minutes to pass before she went to school.

As the day went on, the talks were still there, however no one made any move. As soon as the bell rung for dismissal, she quickly got her bag she has organized earlier and got up.

“Sorry, Lily I’m kind of busy today.” She hastily told Lily who was only preparing to put back her notebooks and pens, and left the classroom headed straight for the train station.

There would have almost been no incident, until she got back to the apartment. She started to make dinner early when the door opened and an angry Jules stormed in.

“I heard what happened yesterday.”

“Welcome back, Jules.” They spoke at the same time. “Yesterday?”

“I think you should quit. I’m going to tell Clarissa you’re quitting.” Jules turned back to walk out of the apartment.

“Wait, Jules.” Ara pleaded and Jules stopped.

“What?” He turned to look back at her.

“That really was nothing. Please don’t tell Clarissa I’m quitting.” Ara didn’t understand why she had to quit, but she knew that she didn’t like that idea.

“Then, tell me what really happened.” Jules said and Ara obliged. This time, she left nothing out behind the reasons and the extent to which the girls went.

“Thus, I don’t understand why I have to quit because of that.”

“You really don’t?” Jules asked her, his eyes were so cold and different from that of yesterday. Ara shook her head. “If this continues and your connection to us becomes known, don’t you think that it will cause harm to us, too?” He looked up and closed his eyes, he seemed awfully drained.

Ara’s eyes widened. Her chest hurt at the thought that she never considered that.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that. I’ll tell Clarissa that I’ll be quitting soon.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” The door opened and Clarissa immediately registered the heavy atmosphere. “Jules, why are you here? Ara?”

“Ms. Clarissa, I’m very sorry to tell you this but I’ll have to quit soon.”

“What, why?” She set down a box of what seemed to be cake.

“What’s for dinner today?” The door opened a second time and the rest of the members went in.

“Oh no, the dinner’s not finished yet. Welcome back.” She went back to the kitchen and finished putting the vegetables in the soup before taking it off the heat.

“Why are you quitting, Ara?” Clarissa asked her as she started taking rice out of the rice cooker.

“Ara’s quitting?” Dominic and the rest were immediately curious as well.

“Let’s eat first before all that.” Jules had his arms crossed over his chest.

It was a somber dinner even though Ara thought that the food tasted much better than the one yesterday. They did their best not to ask Ara who looked the most anxious. After they were done, Clarissa forced them out so that Ara did not have to deal with them as she explained.

“I didn’t realize, but I might drag the band into something bad right when they’re just about to debut too. They have all worked so hard for so long, even before I was here. I don’t want to hurt them in any way. I hope you’ll let me quit. You don’t have to pay me too, staying here must be worth more money than the services I’ve given so far.”

Clarissa sat in stunned silence for a while.

“Are you sure about this, Ara?” She didn’t want to let her go, but Ara looked so determined and she didn’t want to intrude too much on what seemed to be personal matters.

“Yes, I’ll leave as soon as I can. I’ll call my brother later so that I can even go by tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to leave that fast.” Clarissa touched her arm and Ara flinched. It pained Clarissa, but she didn’t know that underneath the long-sleeved shirt Ara wore was a bruise she has touched. “I have no choice to accept if that’s what you really want, but will you at least go with us on that trip over term break? I’m not sure I’ll be able to find your replacement that fast.”

“Yes, of course I understand. I’m so sorry for being so sudden like this.”

“Please, you don’t have anything to apologize for. Come here.” She opened her arms and enveloped Ara in a hug. She has seen Ara as a true sister whose cool head helped and balanced with her more ecstatic and sometimes scatterbrained ways. “I hope you’re doing okay.”

“I am.”

Despite what Clarissa said about being able to stay longer, Ara phoned in her brother Alvin that night and by afternoon the next morning, she was ready to go as easily as she came in not so long ago.

“Do you really have to leave, Ara?” Reo’s eyes shone.

“I’m very sorry, Reo.” She apologized again. Jules left and Ara’s heart that she thought has been pretty heavy lately felt even heavier.

“We’ll still stay as friends, though?”

“Of course. Besides, I’m still going to be with you for the trip during the term break too.” Ara smiled and tried to lighten the mood.

“Take care, Ara.” Dominic didn’t meet her eyes and simply left with a wave and that farewell. Vince simply placed a hand on her shoulders and left as well. Ram was not around.

Her luggage didn’t change much from when she first arrived, and it really has been such a short stay, but there was a dragging feeling as she and her brother drove away from the apartment building. She stared at it long after they have passed a great distance and it was no longer visible from the window.