Oh my goddess. Finally alone in my home. That was completely nerve wracking. Alicia did end up being a huge help, and I got past the metaphorical wall I've had in my project. She truly is a genius.

I'm currently lying in my bed, processing the events of the day. Oh boy do I need to process. What just happened? I've never really had any contact with other people apart from work. I don't have any relatives left alive, well anyone that lives on this continent. I have an uncle I haven't seen since I was 5, but he lives half across the globe. While it doesn't take more than 7-8 hours with intercontinental trains, we don't really have any contact so neither of us visit the other. No, stop, stop Eleanor, stop drying to distract yourself, you have to focus on what happened today.

Okay. Alicia. The seductive demonic teasing succubus that is Alicia. I accidentally invited her home as an excuse to get out of an awkward situation, but I made it even worse. And what was that finger stroking she did on my thigh? Is that normal to do between women? Is that normal at all? I don't even have any data to draw a conclusion from, I don't really have any friends and I don't know what to think anymore. She was warm though, very warm.

And with those as my last thoughts, I slowly drift away into a not-so dreamless night, which I totally forgot all about in the morning. Yup, totally.

--

It's been a few weeks since the succubus-at-home incident, and nothing really has happened. Why am I slightly disappointed at that? No, shove those thoughts into a box, lock it up and throw away the key. Although, Alicia has started touching me a lot more. A slight brush on the shoulder. Bumping hips. I can't figure out why? Are we just better friends? Is that something friends do? Have I even ever had a friend? I have so many questions and no answers. There's nobody I can even ask about this except... No Eleanor, you can not talk to Alicia about Alicia, what are you even thinking?

A warm hand slowly caressing my back draws me back to reality. "Hey Eleanor, why are you just staring at your desk?"
I spin my chair around to see Alicia standing there with that smile she's had for the past few weeks, ever since that...incident at home. I can't figure out what that smile means, it's not the cocky one, it's not the seductive one, I just can't figure it out. Wait, has any of her smiles actually ever been seductive? I mean I have absolutely zero clue since I haven't had any relationships. Is it all in my head? Did I just shove her into a succubus tag that I've read in novels and stories and just, assumed?

"Eleanor?"

"Hm? Oh sorry, I was lost in thought. Did you need anything?"

Alicia's smile turns into a slight frown. "Eleanor are you okay?"

"Hm? Yeah? Why?"

"It's just, you've been a lot more unfocused for the past couple of weeks, and you tend to stay inside your mind space for a lot more than you used to, I just want to make sure everything's okay."

No, it's not okay. You're the reason for my unfocus you succubus...wait, no. Bad Eleanor, stop thinking of her as a succubus. She's a coworker that is just extremely attractive, has a magnetic pull, her oh so gorgeously blue eyes pierce you and lays you bare. Hm, nope, actually. Succubus. Wait...gorgeously blue eyes? Why did I think that? I mean objectively she is extremely attractive, but that was, something different, something I can't place my finger on.

"Hmm, okay. Tell me if something is wrong though, you can always talk to me. We're friends aren't we?"

Friends? Are we friends? What even constitutes friends? Friends are someone you spend time with outside of work? We haven't really done that besides that one time at my apartment. Can we be called friends? Without even realizing I blurted out something I instantly regretted. "Wait, are we friends?"

Alicia's expression turns stone cold, and slightly horrified. Oh no, what did I just do.

"I at least thought we were friends. Sorry, it seems I jumped to conclusions. Maybe it was only me enjoying the time we spend together."

Oh no, how do I fix this? Um, emotions, socializing, uhhhhh. OH!

"No..I mean...I've just, never had any friends, so I didn't know that's what we...are."

My voice tapering off to a whisper as I realize I might have just ruined everything between us, maybe she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Why does that make me sad? Why do I feel this knot of negative emotions in my stomach at the thought of never talking to her again. Never having her warm smile or blue eyes gaze into mine. I look at her face and see the previous expression replaced by slight confusion. Is this good? It sort of looks like she doesn't hate me anymore? Oh well, here goes nothing.

"Um. Alicia, what are friends?"

Her eyes widen, gorgeous blue eyes gazing into mine, searching for..something. Wait, gorgeous? Again? Stop.

"You...I thought you were joking. You've never had any friends?"

Wait? Is that a bad thing? I've just spent my time doing hobbies and experiments, but her tone sounds, sad. I slowly shake my head to confirm what she just asked.

"Oh Eleanor." What was that tone? Pity? Warmth? I'm confused.

"Well then, let me take you out after work today, okay? I'll show you the joy of having a friend. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

Oh goddess, what is this succubus trying to rope me into now. 

Although, having a friend doesn't...sound so bad. I think.