I have a headache. There's been so much going on the past couple of months, and now Faith is telling me we have a bona-fide goddess. When did it all start? When Faith brought Ethenia to the HDA after the hostage situation? No, not really. I don't know, maybe when I asked her to come to the hearing? I thought she would behave, but what do I know. I said to treat her like a goddess, I failed. I tried to apply a human mindset to her, how she would react, think, everything. That is probably where I went wrong.

She killed the Speaker of the House on a live broadcast, in cold blood, well, she said "self defense", but who believes that. This was in front of millions of people, and that's just within the nation. I can't even imagine how many other countries were watching. Worst thing is, it didn't even matter. She got a fucking presidential pardon, or well, she didn't even get into trouble, no. She got a meeting with the president. I wanted no part of that. If she can do THAT on live television, I don't know what she could possibly do behind closed doors. I mean she can apparently become a literal goddess, well, before she actually became one. I know it was some sort of trick with her and Athena, but I guess that's no longer needed. Anyways I guess the meeting with the president went okay? I guess? The HDA did get a lot out of it, but I'm still on edge. We're playing to her tune, doing whatever she wants. How long before she just replaces me? Faith says she won't, that she doesn't want to, but I don't know anymore. Nothing she does makes sense.

During that fight with Helena, she revealed herself to be the vampire. I still don't know how that works, why did Cosmos not detect her? How is a vampire even possible? How does she have two forms? How does she have a contract? She said she would explain once she woke up, but it's already been almost two weeks. And that last part, "do not disappoint", that was a threat wasn't it? If I do anything against her, her plans, or Faith, what will she do to me? The thought makes me shudder.

Well, she didn't tell me the entire truth, but at least she's not going to go on a rampage. She's now a fucking divine vampire? How? How did Athena, Sigyn and Khione condone this? I would rather she have slept for years, two weeks wasn't enough for me to collect myself. There's still the Helena situation to resolve. I don't even know anymore.

And now she just told me she wants to build a what? Like, how? Well I know how, she just told me, I just can't wrap my head around it.

I'm going to die of stress, aren't I?