In this world, there are many types of difficult people.  Some people are boring such as Yu Zi Fei, some people make you crazy such as Wang Kai and some people make me feel helpless such as Xue Yun Feng.

This matter started from the not-so-peaceful Christmas day.

On December 25, some people celebrated Christmas and Jiang Li celebrated his birthday.   I reckon that Jiang Li and Xue Yun Feng would be planning to go for a romantic dinner.   So, in order to avoid Jiang Li, I told him that I would be late coming home.   Jiang Li passed a few cynical remarks which I totally ignored.   After work, I had dinner with Wang Kai and then later we went to a bar in his car to enjoy myself. 

Christmas was also considered a holiday.  The atmosphere in the bar was not the same as on normal days and there were some small interesting programs.  Today's festive mood was very vibrant and noisy.  Everyone was crazily enjoying themselves and this could be considered the urban men and women's way of releasing stress. 

I left the bar at about eleven o'clock and just as I reached the door, my cell phone rang.   I took out my phone and looked at the screen.   It was my little friend, the lingering soul, Xue Yun Feng.

I picked up the call and immediately heard a sobbing sound from the other end, accompanied by the gurgling sound of drinking water.   I was very surprised.  "Hello!   Hello!"    I shouted several times before Xue Yun Feng finally spoke.   He called out my name "Guan Xiao Yan", then continued sobbing.    Even from my side of the phone, I could smell alcohol reeking from this kid and he was definitely drunk.

Although I am not a very good-hearted person, I am soft-hearted especially when this beautiful kid cried before me until I could not bear it.   So I hastily said into the phone.  "What is the matter with you?  Did Jiang Li bully you?"

When I mentioned Jiang Li's name, he cried with even more vigor.  He was crying and at the same time calling out Jiang Li's name. 

I pinched my forehead, clutched my cell phone and turned to Wang Kai.  "You can leave first.  I still have something to do."

Wang Kai stood still.  "It is already very late, where are you going?  Do you want me to protect you?"

I thought of Xue Yun Feng's physique.  Although he has the ability to overpower me but considering that he was drunk, it should not be difficult to cope with him.  So I waved my hand and said.  "No, I will call you if I need your help."

"Well then, call me immediately if you need me.  And …."   Wang Kai leaned forward and winked mysteriously.   "Don’t casually get into another man's car."

My goodness!  Are you done?! 

I gave him a blank stare, turned around and walked away.

 

As it was very cold outside, I hid inside a fast food restaurant and called the drunk beauty.   "Xue Yun Feng, where are you?"

He stammered and said.  "What…….what has……it to do…….with you?………"

Aiya……If you had not called to harass me, I would not have bothered! 

I wanted to hang up but considering that this child was not bad and also that we were somehow related (if one’s husband's lover is also considered a relative), so I had to patiently coax him. 

"Just tell me where you are and I will get Jiang Li to apologize to you."

Xue Yun Feng:  "You…..Jiang Li….."

Me:   "Speak up!  Where are you?  Jiang Li is waiting impatiently!"

Xue Yun Feng's voice suddenly became smaller.  I heard his voice talking to the waiter beside him.  "Tell her where I am."

Suddenly I became speechless.  This kid is so drunk that he does not even know where he is!

 

                                                  ***#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#***

 

When I reached Y Bar, Xue Yun Feng was gulping down his drinks like he was drinking water.  I ran over and grabbed his arm..  "Don’t drink, go back with me!"

He was not cooperative.  He swept away my hand, frowned impatiently and said.  "Go away!"

I'm not angry….. I'm not angry….. I'm not angry…… Damn!  I am very mad!

I took the glass in front of him and gulp down his drink until the glass was empty.  Then I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.  "Xue Yun Feng, if you drink anymore, Jiang Li will not want you!"

Xue Yun Feng was startled then suddenly lay his head down on the bar counter and started to cry again.  He was crying and choking at the same time.  "Jiang…..Jiang Li doesn’t want me anymore…."

I was shocked.  Really, the most difficult people to handle is a drunk! 

So I coaxed this child by patting his back and talking in a gentle voice like a mother.  "Good child, Jiang Li said you must obediently go home.  He wants you."

Xue Yun Feng lifted his head and looked at me with his wide eyes.  "Really?"  That pair of hazy eyes were filled with tears and looking at his tear-stained face, I felt pity for him.

So I refrained from saying anything impulsive and simply said.  "Really…..let's hurry home."   It seems that after staying with Jiang Li, I learned nothing good from him except my acting ability had improved tremendously.

Xue Yun Feng was obedient and nodded his head.  "Okay, we will go home."

I supported him as he walked unsteadily and he swayed as we walked out of the bar.   I flagged down a taxi.  Fortunately, he was not completely drunk and still could remember his house address.

Just as I got into the taxi, Jiang Li called me on my cell phone.  I took the call and heard him roar. 

"Guan Xiao Yan, where are you now?  Why are you not back yet?"

I looked at Xue Yun Feng sitting by the side and my heart was full of anger and grievances.   So I roared back at him.  "Where I am now, should not concern you!"   This is all because of your boyfriend!  It is strange that you did not take care of your boyfriend but I have to do this for you!

Jiang Li quieten down after hearing my retort.  He was silent for a moment and there was a tinge of resentment in his voice.  "Today is my birthday."

I did not understand and said.  "Didn’t I give you a gift yesterday?"  Although the vase was a complete failure. 

Jiang Li angrily said.  "It is my birthday.  Is there no significant expression from you other than the badly produced vase to pacify me?"

I deeply suspected he was "stunted" in his mind but I could not help him.  So I endured and said.  "So, what do you want me to do?"

JL:   "Well, now is already eleven fifty-five, you can sing me a birthday song."

Me:  "Jiang Li, are you also drunk?"  Under normal circumstances, when he is drunk, he would do some naïve things. 

He asked coldly.  "Are you going to sing or not?  If you don’t sing, I will think of a way to bully you.……"

"Okay, Okay…...I'll sing."   For the fear of you!

So in the darkness of the car, I sang a soul-stirring birthday song with two versions......in English and Chinese.  From the reflection of the rearview mirror, I saw the taxi driver with a very painful expression and I said with sympathy.    "Sifu, if you want to laugh, go ahead, since I have thick skin."

And so the driver laughed out loudly.

After listening to my singing, Jiang Li said.  "Very good.  I have heard people occasionally singing off-tune but this is the first time, I have ever heard someone who can occasionally sing in-tune."   He paused and added.  "Especially, if one can sing a birthday song in this way, it is really a hundred-year rare encounter."

What do you mean?!

Jiang Li still did not sense my dissatisfaction.  He said.  "In fact, today, you should be with me."

I was puzzled.  "Why?"  Do you want to take me and your little boyfriend to play 3P?  Oh my god, I am a normal person!

Jiang Li did not answer but suddenly changed the subject.  "Are you coming back tonight?"

I could not keep up with his thoughts.  "Ah? .....uh…..yes, I'll be back….."

JL:   "Who are you with?"

I had nothing to hide and said.  "Your boyfriend, he is so drunk……"   Then I asked.  "Did the both of you quarrel?"

JL:   "Drunk?   Good…..getting drunk is a good time for sexual encounters."

I laughed heartily.  "Then you should come quickly.  Take this opportunity to eat him.  Such a beauty will certainly be delicious."  

Jiang Li seemed to be angry again.  "Don’t trouble yourself over the two of us." 

Me:   "I am too lazy to bother about both of you."

JL:   "Send him home and then come back.  Don't harbor any thoughts for him."

I laughed.  He was obviously very concerned about Xue Yun Feng, then why quarrel?  So I comforted him.  "How many times have I told you, I'm not interested in gays." 

Jiang Li did not speak.  I added.  "Actually, this kid always makes me feel like I am a mother to him."

Jiang Li laughed lightly.  "Do you want to be a mother?  I don’t mind helping you."

Me:  "Go and jump off the cliff!"

Jiang Li laughed and after that he said.  "Where are you?  I will pick you up."

His sudden change of mood made me wary of him.  So I said.  "No need.  His house is in the city, so getting a taxi is convenient."

JL:   "No… no…, just in case you meet an aesthetic driver with a little deformity who intends to rape.

I leaned back, rape?…..why must it be both aesthetic and deformed? 

Jiang Li, if you do not torment me, will you die?

JL:   "One hour later, I will wait for you downstairs of his house."

Me:   "Jiang Li, tell me the truth.  Actually what is your motive?"  I did not believe he would be so kind.

JL:   "If you really want to do something for me, then come back and cook me supper…..I want to eat longevity noodle.  A catty of noodles and a bowl of that kind."

Me:   "I know you are not that good."   That kind…..looked very simple but in fact, was very troublesome to cook!

JL:   "You intend to disobey me?  The consequences for disobedience may be very serious……"

Me:   "Okay, okay, I will obey.  You are really shameless!"

Jiang Li proudly laughed out loud.   I angrily hung up the phone.

 

                                        ***#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#***

 

Xue Yun Feng's residence was not far from his workplace and I reckoned it was because of the proximity that he rented the house.   I supported him up the stairs, pulled out his keys from his pocket and opened the door.   After locating the bedroom, I threw him onto the bed, took off his shoes and covered him with the quilt.

Well, all accomplished and I could go.   I wiped the sweat from my forehead, picked up my bag and walked out of the bedroom.   Just as I opened the door, I heard a very clear voice behind me said.  "Are you leaving?"

I was shocked, turned around and looked.   I saw Xue Yun Feng leaning against the headboard half lying on the bed, with very clear eyes which did not look like the eyes of a drunk.

I looked at him incredulously.   I was so shocked that I stuttered.  "You, you, you……you are not drunk?"

His face darkened and replied.  "I just want to be drunk."

Wow, that means all this time you had been pretending?  Pretended to be drunk and made me sweat, just to bring you home?   When I thought of this, I became angry and ran over to his bedside.  I leaned forward and caught hold of his neck and shook him.   While shaking him, I said bitterly.  "You are so bad.  Do you know that dealing with a drunk will drain a person in spirit and physical strength?!"

Xue Yun Feng's whole body was like a puppet under my claws.  His body swayed back and forth when I shook him.   He did not resist and with downcast eyes, he calmly said.  "What can I do?  I can’t get myself drunk, so I can only pretend."

I stopped and looked at him in distress.   Suddenly I thought of the time when Yu Zi Fei left me.   I got drunk almost every night.   But because of my special ability being immune to alcohol, even if I drank a lot of alcohol every time, I still remained sober but acted like a crazy drunk……. now thinking about it, I realized I was really silly.  When a loved one leaves, one can always carry on living.

I tossed away my memories, patted Xue Yun Feng's head and smiled.  "Good child, do not drink so much, it is not good for your body."

He pushed away my hand and said in a dissatisfied tone.  "I am not a child!"

I laughed.  "In my eyes, you are a child……or else, I can take you as my god-son."

"You….."   He glared at me, angrily pressed his lips together and was lost for words.

I laughed at the expression on his face and pinched his cheeks.  "You are so cute."

He turned away his face and ignored me.

I picked up my bag and patted his head.  "Good child, have a good sleep.  Sister has to leave."

He pulled my hand and said.  "You……can you keep me company?"

I looked back at his pair of watery eyes and suddenly all traces of resistance disappeared.  So I sat at his bedside, gave him a dazzling, seductive smile and said.  "Handsome, do you really need someone to keep you company?"

His face flushed.  I found out that teasing this kid was so amusing.   *Haha*…….

He looked at me gloat, bowed his head and said softly.  "You look so happy……if I were to tell you Jiang Li wants to break up with me, will it make you feel even happier?"