☆ ˖⁺

 

She knew she shouldn’t even have come out of her room. Miki knew that. It was her lullaby to sleep last night. Don’t go downstairs tomorrow, sneak out. If she had just waited, then she could have slipped away out of her window without being seen. No one would have even noticed; they would have forgotten about Miki if she stayed in her room all day. She’s sure of it.

They don’t care, they’re mad.

 

The yelling started around nine in the morning, which she was surprised hadn’t started sooner.

She thinks to herself that maybe she should have just gotten water from her bathroom faucet.

 

“We didn’t raise you to be this way.” Camilla says, again, and she makes sure she sounds exhausted when she says it. Of course, instead of just accepting the situation as it is, her parents need to find something or someone to blame- and it isn’t going to be themselves. She knew they were still going to be mad (when are they ever not mad at her?) but she didn’t know it was going to turn into some big intervention like this.

“You weren’t like this before.” It’s always a scoff, “Ever since you’ve met Brooklyn you’ve changed.” Her mother sneers, only to add on in clarification, “And not in a good way.”

Miki’s expression sours at the words but she doesn’t say anything, “One thing after another.” Camilla shakes her head and takes a breath, body going more rigid, “It’s never ending. Just when we think you’re done, you do something else!”

“We’ve tried everything, given you everything.” Another sigh follows, her mother’s arms are crossed but she brings a hand up to swipe stray hair from her face, looking stressed, “We have even tried therapy, and nothing works with you.”

Miki lets out a harsh laugh before her mom barely even finishes the words, which earns her two harsh glares in reply, “Therapy? You mean when you let me sit in on your sessions where you just complained about me the entire time?!” This time, she scoffs. Miki scoffs so hard her uvula tingles. “That’s your version of getting me therapy?”

All this gets her is an eyeroll, her mother dismisses and deflects; “You didn’t even try Miki, you were completely closed off the entire time and everything you had to say was negative, you expect me to praise you when you act like that?” The woman leans back against the counter, “Or- or even expect me to pay for your own sessions when you act like that?”

Miki was only negative in that session because of the things her mother was saying, so what, now she can’t defend herself? The entirety of it, her mother was berating her to her therapist. Miki could barely get a word in edge wise until the two of them ended up ganging up on her. It was miserable.

This time it’s her father who speaks, taking over for his wife before she continues, “We tried to send you to stay with your grandparents to give us the time to... move on and get everything back on track from the things you’ve caused, Miki.” Bentley keeps his tone even. He always does his best to keep a level head. It should be comforting but instead it makes her mad, she feels like they both completely disregarded her. They just don’t listen.

Camilla is quick to jump right back in, “And what did you do? What did you do Miki?” The teen grits her teeth, feeling small in front of her mother. Her mother loves to do this. She doesn’t say anything, she knows what she did. They all know what she did. So much for “moving on” right?

“You went and stayed with the Kelly’s. With not even a notice! No one had any idea where you were, we were under the impression that you were safe.” Camilla brings a hand to cover her eyes, “But you were out doing God knows what. I know that Karen doesn’t have a care in the world...” she trails off in what sounds like disgust.

This irks Miki, so she lets out a laugh. She doesn’t know why her mom has such hate for the Kellys, but she wasn’t going to sit here and let Brooke and her mother be talked down on like this, especially after Karen came and rescued her while she was staying with that horrible man.

“Safe? I’m safer with them than I will ever be with any of my own family! Karen actually cares about my wellbeing, I know it’s hard for you to handle hearing that.” Miki laughs some more, and her mother removes her hand to stare,

“Excuse me?”

It's tense.

“I mean, it’s gotta’ be a little hard for you, I am your child, after all. Must suck to have ‘nother mother be a better mother to your kid than you ever will be.” And she snorted after saying it, not purposely but if the shoe fits. She knows just what to say.

“We provide for you, not the Kelly’s.” Her father steps in quickly and Camilla just fumes. “If you keep acting this ungrateful, we will show you just what it’s like to have nothing.”

 

"I just want to have my own life!" Miki snaps, not in the mood for the speech, "I'm tired of you guys trying to control my future, I want my own life.”

 

Bentley is shaking his head, “We’ve offered you anything you could possibly ever want. I don’t want to hear that; you have no idea what real control is.” He moves over to put a comforting hand on his wife, mad dogging his daughter with a stern stare. “You are not an adult yet, Miki. So, for now… eat with your family, or go up to your room and don’t bother coming down.”

Staring at her father comforting her mother made her mad, so Miki took the latter (imprisonment) after looking at the breakfast that hasn’t been finished yet and pivoted on her heel to her room, feeling trapped but knowing she was only a few steps away from a window and down the roof to her freedom made her feel a little better.

When started up the stairs she was met with the twins.

One is glaring and one is staring. Miki wasn’t expecting Ena to be here. She huffs, barely paying the girl any mind as she returns the distasteful look her brother is giving her. “Go eat breakfast.” She snaps and pushes his head as she moves past them.

Flynn squawks as he loses balance and stumbles into Ena, who shrieks but she catches herself on the railing of the stairs. Miki could care less, didn’t even spare a glance back nor a thought. “What is that all about?” Ena asks quietly, grabbing her twin’s sleeve. Flynn is staring after Miki- who’s already gone into her room and shut the door.

He doesn’t answer right away, just keeps glaring in hatred. Eventually, he turns to his other sister and asks, “Why can’t we have a normal family?”

Ena-Susie looks at her twin in pure confusion. She doesn’t have a clue in the world, having stayed with her grandparents so much. “We do-” She starts quietly, Flynn starts down the stairs and she doesn’t move to go with him,

“We do have a normal family?”

The eleven-year-old stops in his descent and turns to look up at his sister, “Why are you asking if it’s true?”

 

☆ ˖⁺

 

The moment she gets to her room, she tries to contact Brooke. No calls go through, and her messages get no replies. Miki should expect it but instead it just makes her throw the phone in rage.

 

☆ ˖⁺ ☽˖⁺

 

March of 2015

 

The days are passing by too slow yet too fast. Nothing is happening, and time keeps moving.

It won’t be pausing for them; they must keep going.

And with that, it has been three months since New Years. It’s March now, spring is coming but not soon enough.

In those three months, it consisted of Brooklyn Kelly avoiding Miki Miya. She has made the effort to make sure that Brooke knows that she is just grounded, not avoiding her. Brooke on the other hand… Miki really doesn’t know anything about the words her mother said to Brooke that night, she doesn’t know what happened- besides her own questionable actions. All she presumes is Brooke to be mad, angry, or maybe even put-off.

It would be a lot easier if Brooke would just talk to her. She knows going back to school is probably taking up a lot of her time. That and she’s been pretty busy since she started working at the café.

On the other hand, she had to be mad, right? Miki did publicly embarrass her, acted like a complete fool, while also making Brooke look like a fool, and then she got into a fight with her parents right in front of her. Ugh…

Coming down that night she felt afflicted. She really doesn’t know what she was thinking (she wasn’t thinking), but it can’t just be undone, so, just like that, Miki “moves on”. She’s already over the night, it happened, so what? It should be over now, right? This is such a headache. She wonders just what the hell did she do? Even if she will wallow in self-pity, she is so ignorant of the fact. The girl lacks awareness of even herself, sometimes.

It wasn’t even that she would take it back if the chance was there, she would continue to admit just how funny her parents’ reaction was- besides the part when they all got upstairs…(disaster) Maybe she would have just… not involved Brooke- at the very least? If anything, then Brooke wouldn’t have had to see all… that... and things wouldn’t be how they are right now. Miki almost cringes when she thinks back to it. She should have just done it by herself- or, maybe not at all.

Normally they can just pick up where they left off if they have a dispute.

It hasn’t been completely AWOL, they’ve called over the phone and have seen each other a handful of times; but it’s all so aloof. You know when something is just off, you can feel it? It just weighs on you or hangs around in the air. Sometimes it can even make it hard for you to think clearly, sometimes she feels like this is all just a bad dream. It puts you on edge and you focus on it until you place it. She tries to make plans or reach out, but Brooke seems distant and reserved. Occupied, is a way to put it. Miki feels like she’s going through Brooke withdrawals.

She’s driving all her friends crazy about the other and the routine is getting old. Miki typically is a chatterbox, but after something happens... especially if it’s something bad; she’s on tenfold. The girl can be insufferable to be around.

If Brooke just wants space; she can do that- even if it is hard. Miki’s been doing that. She prays to a god that she doesn’t believe in that Brooke still at least likes her. Which might be over dramatic, but Brooke would have every reason to cut Miki off. Not even just for that night, Miki knows Brooke is smarter than anyone gives her credit for.

Brooke is the smartest person Miki knows.

 

Unfortunately, but rightfully so, Miki’s parents have forced her to start “working” at one of their buildings due to her outburst on new year’s, it is much to her dismay. Working being in quotes because she doesn’t make a penny in return for her hard labor. And, between me and you- she really just dilly-dallies all day.

The only good outcome in this situation is she gets to work with Jacinth, since his family works for the Miya’s company, and it’s good to at least be spending time with a friend… even if she can’t stop thinking about Brooke the entire time; or talking about her at that. Poor guy, he has to sit there and listen to Miki spazz every second. Maybe he deserves a paycheck? Not that she’d pay him, or would have the money to pay him, the money would already be illegally spent on cheap weed or blow, and packs of gum. Poof gone. It’s like she never had any money to begin with- but remember; they don’t pay her.

 

“I just don’t get it!” Miki complains, holding the cardboard box of files tighter against her torso. Jacinth had asked her to help him carry stuff to the file room- which is just a small room of shelves stacked high in a tight room with all sorts of documents littering the place. “What am I supposed to do?”

Jacinth sighs, he’s been listening to this all day. And all day of yesterday… also the day before that and the entire week behind them- oh no, correction; the entire month. Miki had been quiet at first, which was worrisome. Once her friends started prying, ‘oh what’s wrong?’ and ‘what’s going on with you and Brooke?’ That was it, she opened her mouth and hasn’t closed it since.

He opens the heavy door that stands right in front of them with sturdy force, throwing her a side eye of pity as he says, “I don’t know, Miki, I mean you did go all out this time.”

His tone isn’t as hesitant as it should be as they step further inside the room and Miki hurries to slam the box down onto the only table in the room with an over-the-top grunt. Jacinth comes up and puts his own down next to hers- starting to sift through the papers and folders inside of it without missing a beat. The table is long against the far-left wall. “Which, by the way, I’m still waiting for an explanation for it all.”

“Explanation for all of what?” Miki questions with a lousy tone as she jumps backwards to sit up on the tabletop, not helping with organizing the files at all; opting to shimmy herself into a comfortable position. The boy shoots her a pointed look through narrowed eyes. “For all of what,” he mimics back to her in astonishment with the quote gesture of his hand’s fingers. The boy lets it set in for a second and then he scoffs. “For the entire night! What was even going in that thick head of yours?”

She swings her legs in the air slightly and admits, “I don’t know.” Jacinth shoves a file into her hands to try and get her to just do something. Miki mainly fiddles with it. He huffs, uneven hair moving from his face. Theres only a pause before she adds, “I just wanted to get at them somehow.”

“Yeah.” Jacinth laughs dryly at the mumbled words, “Mission accomplished, I guess. Although you got at Brooke too.” Pausing to look at her, “Actually, I think you only got at Brooke…” He can tell Miki wants to already protest so he continues what he’s saying before she can even start, “I don’t get how you didn’t see this ending badly. What was the outcome you wanted?”

It gets her to snap her trap shut and think. Miki hesitates, her eyes flicker. She’s thinking of an answer she doesn’t have, so resorts back to protesting and defending, “Getting at Brooke wasn’t my intention!” She huffs hot air through her nose much like an angry bull, mimicking one when she throws the file down beside her- emptying her hands to bring one of them up to the side of her head to tangle into her messy red locks. “Jesus!” She spits through her teeth, frustrated as she sets her jaw. She needs chaos, distraction. A big circus screaming ‘look at me and not the consequences of my own actions’ In all honesty what she did isn’t even the worst of the worst, for example:

“Jace, you’d think she’d be happy to hear I wanted to marry her…” Miki drawls out, her expression darkening only slightly before she lets out a sudden scoff of a laugh, hands dropping, “But I guess not! I don’t get it.”

 

And then it’s quiet. Miki takes the time to breathe while her friend takes his time with his work; his face is pinched. Her own words set in, and she feels sour. Jacinth eventually stops his work and stares at the girl he’s known almost his entire seventeen years of life with a knitted expression. It looks like he’s hesitating before he states: “You used something that’s supposed to be special to get leverage over your parents. You know damn well that it wasn’t any normal proposal you gave her- you were just using it as a taunt.”

What can she say, the truth hurts. Miki’s mouth opens, ready to snap back on defense at being called out. But Jacinth is humming shortly between pressed lips before clarifying, “As a ‘joke,” - but it’s in air quotes and all of sarcasm, “and now you’re being an ass over it.”

Not even a pause, he states, “And we’re kids! Who wants to think about things like marriage?”

It makes Miki chew her bottom lip and look down to the plain floor beneath them. They have only been dating for a year and a half. She feels like she has tunnel vision. Never having looked at it in that way before, the girl relents. She thinks to herself how she is being a douche bag. “I guess.” She sighs out, “Yeah.” There’s another pause before, “You’re right.”

Uncomfortable words, less sincere; choppy and off. Miki never admits she’s wrong, so it’s good enough. Silence flows between them and Jacinth goes back to his work. Eventually Miki hops from the table, her shoes slapping against the hard tile. “Thanks.” She offers to him, Jacinth opens his mouth on a reply, but Miki starts walking away and then turns around,

“I’m going to go clean up some shit.” There’s a pause and for a second Jacinth thinks she means that she’s going to apologize to Brooke, but then, “You know, since that’s basically my job here.”

The girl gestures down to her janitorial clothes with open hands. Jacinth sighs, shaking his head slightly and throws his friend a reassuring smile over his shoulder. “It’ll get better.”

“Thanks.” But she wasn’t so sure, and she wasn’t sure he was sure either. The door closes behind her.

 

On her way to find her forgotten cleaning supplies, she brings her phone out and tries to give Brooke a call; one of many. It goes straight to voicemail, as it’s been doing, so she decides to finally leave a message. She listens to the recording beep with tense shoulders, she swallows, and it beeps,

“Um.” Miki fumbles and her tongue feels huge in her mouth, suddenly at a loss for words for once. Her rapid pace of stepping forward slows down. She struggles to say anything but is reminded that there’s a time limit on the recordings, so she shakes her free hand out and decides on an, “I’m sorry, okay?” But it’s rude, snappy, like she’s over it. Not how she meant it, she curses herself. A quick intake of breath and then, “Just call me back.”

It’s when she’s right about to hang up that she adds in a quick, “Please.” and “I miss-“

The beeper goes, and then ‘… message recorded! if you would like to leave another message, please hang up and dial again….”

The phone is shoved deep into her pocket. Miki goes up to the floor where the janitorial cart that she left in favor of helping Jacinth sits. She busies herself with mopping floors, stopping ever so often to check her phone- only to curse herself further because there’s nothing. No message, call, nothing. Miki knows Brooke would be at work right now, working at the cafe, so she tries not to get too irritated- it’s irrational.

Ignoring her phone, she lazily does her work. Miki completes her job and heads to one of the coffee rooms to have a drink break. It’s only once she sits down does she realize there’s a text on her phone from twenty or so minutes ago- which she gets upset that she missed it all this time.

There’s a message from Brooke telling her to come by the cafe later.

Miki’s heart jumps out of her chest in rejoice. She doesn’t wait until later. It’s nearing four in the afternoon. She rushes to where she has her change of clothes and switches outfits eagerly. Miki swings her backpack on and once she gets outside of the building, she takes her green roller skates out of it and shoves them onto her feet- tossing her other shoes in the bag to trade places. The girl bends down to fold her pant legs up so they don’t get caught on the ground and then she skates her way to the cafe. Miki has been wearing her skates everywhere- she says it’s good practice and Brooke worries because Miki is clumsy. Miki skating next to high-speed traffic doesn’t seem like the best thing out of all possible ideas.

Though she’s almost been hit by a car at least twice, Miki prevails; Nothing can stop her.

 

It’s only about a thirty-minute trip, the sidewalks seem oddly vacant- but it’s making it easier for her to skate at expeditious speeds, so she doesn’t complain. With less people out, there are less things she must dodge and move around. The cafe she knows well comes into view and she slows to an easier to stop pace. She takes a moment outside to change shoes once more. Once she has the ones without wheels on, she trots over to the door and pushes it open. An employee she’s spoken with a few times welcomes her in- but Miki is already focused on something else.

Her eyes scan the room, and she quickly spots Brooke- who is leaning over some man’s table with her hip resting against the edge of it. Miki’s about to head over but the picture sets in and she stops again. With furrowed brows, she watches it play out in front of her- lips pursing.

It’s off, as if it’s a scene from a show and the spotlight is on the two. Brooke grabs a glass that was on the other side of the table, moving to stand back straight. She seems irritated but then the man says something and Brooke laughs, gestures to the glass, and then starts to walk back to the kitchen. Miki’s legs move on their own to follow. She throws the man a dark glare as she passes, he doesn’t even look over- he’s looking at something on his table, that does not matter to Miki.

 

Right after the swing door closes behind Brooke, Miki follows her in, holding back from slamming the doors open as she wants to. She does it quietly and quickly wraps her arms around Brooke’s mid-section from behind with no vocal announcement. Brooke startles and nearly drops the cup that is in her hand, “What the hell!? Get off!”

Miki looks around for a second as Brooke struggles, they are alone in the hall- the doors to the kitchen are right up ahead. Miki leans closer to Brooke, cutting her right off,

“Miss me?” Miki asks close to the shell of Brooke’s ear- who relaxes immediately upon hearing the teasing voice.

“Oh.” Brooke sighs out, entire back relaxing forward and detaching herself. She turns around and Miki lets her hand drop down by her sides. “Don’t do that! I seriously almost dropped this.” she gestures back to the glass. It makes Miki’s brow twitch and eyes squint. The glass is the thing she’s most worried about?

“Also… I meant for you to come later, you know, after my shift.” Brooke clarifies, shifting her feet. Her tone is clipped and she’s looking away. Tension settles and takes over the light-hearted atmosphere that was just between the two of them. It makes Miki mad.

“Who was that?” Miki hunches over a little as she lowers her tone of voice and switches the topic, tries to make it come out nonchalantly, but it comes out sounding odd and hesitant. Brooke makes a small hum and asks, “What? Who was who?”

An awkward shift in her stance, “Um, the guy out there.” Miki pauses, “What’d he say that made you laugh?”

Brooke blinks. “Oh, you mean Phil?”

“Oh.” She mocks, “Phil.” Miki repeats with slow hesitation. “Sure. I mean Phil.”

“He’s a regular, he was just asking for a refill,” The glass is raised in gesture once more, and with attitude, Brooke doesn’t appreciate Miki’s tone, “so that’s what I’m doing.”

“Right.” Miki says dryly, eyeing the glass uncomfortably. Brooke turns away to head for the kitchen. Miki isn’t allowed back there- which that’s never stopped her before- she’s broken it countless times in the times they’ve seen each other these past few weeks. Miki just waits this time- she can’t bring herself to follow. There’s a small pool of dread filling her stomach. Miki bites her lip, watching Brooke go- feeling helpless

The wait was no longer than a minute, she’s sure, but it feels like she’s been standing there for at least five minutes- fidgeting slightly and for some reason getting more and more angry. Her jaw had started to tense. She looks up after a second and Brooke’s walking her way again as if she never left and it takes Miki out of her trance, she walks to meet her halfway.

“Are you sure?” Miki presses, to which Brooke quirks an eyebrow- probably already moved on from the topic- she looks up at Miki with a puzzled expression as she keeps walking and Miki stumbles to follow behind her. “Because that looked like flirting to me.”

Brooke stops in her tracks. “What?” She chortles a little, “What are you talking about?” She’s looking up at Miki. Miki pauses, gaping for a moment as she almost bumped into the shorter girl. Someone comes from the main dining room with a tray of empty plates, clattering as they walk with speed to the kitchen room. There’s another moment of silence. Miki starts to feel out of place.

“I just.” The redhead starts and then breaks off. Her face twists, “It just looked more like flirting than grabbing his glass to me.” Miki’s tone built up to sharp by the end of the sentence. Her tone was accusatory- creating thick tension in the air. Brook scoffs most definitely offended. Theres a pause as the words sinks in, Miki lets out a loud sigh, drops her shoulders, almost trying to seem unbothered.

“It probably only looked that way because he was messing around with me, teasing me.” Brooke explains a little slowly, treading carefully. “Which I don’t enjoy when he does, but he does it with everyone.” Brooke tries to be reassuring whilst clarifying herself. Jealousy has never really been a huge thing between them. Brooke’s lips tense together and then she states out, “I don’t understand.”

Miki’s body tenses again and the girl visibly bites the inside of her cheek, “No.” Her eyes dart around as they examine the stern expression that’s on Brooke’s face. “I don’t understand.” Miki narrows her eyes, then looks away entirely with a harsh sigh. “Just answer the question, was he flirting with you?”

Brooke takes an inhale of air through her nose, straightening her back. “Phil wasn’t flirting, it’s just his personality. He moved the glass out of my reach, so I had to lean across the table to get it.”

The explanation doesn’t get rid of the tension in Miki’s shoulders, if anything that pisses her off more- the bastard was trying to look down her cleavage; that clearly went over Brooke’s head, “That doesn’t make me feel better.” Her tone is a little louder now and Brooke only furrows her eyebrows further, because she doesn’t understand. Miki doesn’t say anything more, seeming to be finding something interesting to look at on the wall next to them. Broke turns to leave the conversation, turning towards the door. Miki looks at her with the sudden movement and just stares as the girl leaves. Something starts bubbling inside of her. Her eye twitches.

“Why are you walking away?” Miki snaps suddenly, speed walking to catch up before Brooke leaves the room entirely. The shorter turns on her heel and moves her arm back before Miki can grab it, “I’m at work!” She snaps and Miki jumps a little from the sudden movement, not expecting her to move or yell, flinching back and out of the way so they don’t crash into each other.

Miki just blinks at her, but Brooke is fuming.

 

“Look.” Brooke speaks lowly after a minute, looking around and then back up at Miki- taking a step closer into her space bubble. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, or what’s going on with you in general… but you need to get it figured out.” Her tone of voice wavers a little mid-sentence. Miki frowns. They lock their eyes for a moment, neither of them move.

Brooke is the one to back off and turn around with her expression frozen, mad, and leaves. She walks out the swinging doors with the full glass of water for Phil, leaving Miki standing alone in the hall. A server comes out of the kitchen and Miki takes a step over to get out of the way. She watches the server open the door and take the food out with no expression at all. When the door clicks closed, Miki face scrunches in anger and she pivots on her heel, stomps her shoes down the short hall to the back exit door. She shoves it open with heavy arms. Miki continues walking fast- the gravel crunching beneath her shoes until she hits the pavement of sidewalk, and her bottom lip eventually starts to tremble, her nose burning as her eyes water- blurring her intense stare at the ground moving beneath her. A breeze blows past her and ruffles her clothes. Adrenaline wears off, she cools down.

She’s just mad. Miki’s life is a mess and she’s constantly faced with a cold reminder. The consequences of her own actions. She’s pissed off with herself- for the most part, on the other hand she doesn’t understand how Brooke doesn’t understand. Their wires were crossing, it was just a mistake. It’s not that big of a deal, right?

Her speed slows as her chest constricts. Miki’s lips are down turned, and she glowers as she brings her watery eyes up from the ground, turning and looking back. Cars pass by her on the road alongside the sidewalk. She waits, she waits like someone is coming. No one is. The girl blinks the tears away and starts walking again. She kicks a rock and watches it skip several feet ahead, it follows the curb before falling into the wash.

Ripping the dry skin from her lips with her teeth, she lets out a deep sigh. Miki’s just like a child, ignorant and selfish.

She thinks of the interaction all day long. She knows she wasn’t being fair, but she won’t admit it. All the girl knows is how to add fuel to the fire. Pride is a scary thing, especially in those unaware.

Desperately wanting it fixed;

She had picked a flower for Brooke that day.

No one else knows, so the action doesn’t exist, only to her is there a sense of sentimentality. It wasn’t an unpresentable gift per say, no- not at all, but at the time it would have been anachronistic.

 

☆ ˖⁺

 

If not the skate park, where else would Miki go?

Arriving with a burning cigarette hanging from her two lips. She switches her shoes, shoving her feet into the stiff material that the roller skates are made of. The ash from her stick falls onto her pant leg and she quickly swipes it away with the back of her hand, it burns a bit of the material from her jeans, and she feels it on her knuckle, but she’s not bothered- it doesn’t register. The redhead wobbles a bit as she stands up straight, tipping the toe down to gain balance and she moves to put her bag against the wall. She hopes no one will steal it, it would be the cherry on top of the banana split that is her life now.

A chilled breeze blows by, just barely about to start spring; the weather is comfortable. It’s Miki’s favorite time of year- end of winter, beginning of spring. She shrugs off her black and blue color block zip up and throws it over to land on top of her bag. It misses by about two feet. Miki drops her cigarette and rolls over it with her wheel. Miki leaves it. She stands at the edge of an empty ground pool, wheel on the edge about to go down. The girl looks out to all the people. There are mostly people on skateboards, there’s rarely other roller bladers. She doesn’t have any of her skating gear on, which she has a fleeting thought about before shrugging it off and sliding down the smooth pavement without a second more to waste. Whatever happens will happen.

If only she didn’t live her life like that.

Her hair blows around her as she tries her best to keep her balance. Miki has only just started doing steep downhills- and most of the time she topples over. Inept experience. Right now, Miki can’t bring herself to care. She’s able to keep herself going, swooping down into the bottom of the pool, she easily slides around someone- who made a weird noise in surprise. It made her laugh. She goes through the middle and makes sure to slow down enough near the end for when she starts going uphill that her wheels almost slowdown immediately- she’s able to grab the metal pole of the small ladder attached to the inner wall. Her arm buckles and she almost loses her grip. Weak, Miki grunts, breath stuttering as she brings her foot up to hook the wheel on one of the steps. She’s as smart as a bag of rocks.

It almost slides off- almost. Miki uses her leg strength to hold most of her weight as she pulls herself up. She probably looked crazy- maybe a little like a monkey. That’s not something that Miki thinks about, she doesn’t care about stuff like that. The girl doesn’t process the fact that other people can judge her, that she can be perceived. If Brooke were here, she might’ve. Once on land, she gets up off her knees, foot sliding a little too far forward and she almost falls again. Miki’s luckily able to grab the top hand railing of the ladder and catches herself.

“Jesus.” She grunts, exasperated, blinking wide eyes at the irony of the situation she put herself in. She catches her breath and skates her way over to a bench that’s sitting outside of the bathroom shed. Her thighs are trembling in adrenaline from the drop, but her lips are stretching as they form into a giddy grin. Miki drops her body down to sit, she feels good, it’s the first time she’s fully ‘landed the trick’- so to speak.

“Yeah, you really missed out on a good one- it was crazy!” Miki overhears someone talking in excitement- she looks around. There are a couple people around the bench behind her, sitting on the other side of the bathroom shed. There is also another group of three sitting at the trunk of the tree that’s looming above the benching.

“Of course, the one time I decide not to join.” Another person replies dryly, a laugh follows suit. Miki’s ear twitches- not being able to help herself from listening in. She’s a nosy person at heart. A different laugh sounds out, brash and unfamiliar to this conversation,

“Hey.” The person seems to sound a little steadier with these words, trying to regroup the attention, the next question presented with a tone of pure curiosity. “Was Jaz’ there?”

“Uhh,” This time it’s a girl’s voice- it’s nasal and the way she speaks only pisses Miki off a little “Obviously…” She sounds like she’s rolling her eyes, her cocky attitude only confirmed when she scoffs out a laugh.

“She won, duh.” Someone gives a sound of agreement to her words. Miki quirks a brow, wondering what they are talking about, who they were talking about. What did they win?

“As always.” The first person who spoke joined back in. There’s a pause and then person two hums,

“Seriously…” A pause, “Ever since she joined Amanda’s roller pack- no one stands a chance.”

Roller pack?” Miki thinks to herself, her expressions twisting and wondering what the hell that is. She brings a hand up to run through her hair, posture slouching forward some as her attention shifts. She kind of tones out the rest of the conversation- but she assumes it’s over since the group gets up and passes her as they leave. Miki eyes them lazily with sharp blue eyes, not picking up any significant details, one girl was holding roller skates which brings a lopsided grin to Miki’s face.

They’re gone and Miki sits for a moment, the phrase ‘roller pack’ rolling around in the back of her mind, along with the pair of skates the girl was holding. She gets up eventually and skates around the bowl of the pool to snatch her stuff. Miki holds steady against the wall as she swipes her phone out of her bag and then slings it over her shoulder. She puts her phone into her pocket and skates most of the way home- until she decides to switch to walking after a nasty spill into a group of people.

 

☆ ˖⁺

 

Roller derby.

Yeah, she’s heard about it before. A handful of times- but she doesn’t know too much about it. That’s what roller pack has led her to- roller derby. She’s laying on her bed with her legs hanging off the side, maybe kicking outwards a few times to slam her calves back against the foundation. She has her phone held above her face and is clicking through websites. A roller pack, essentially, is a group or a team of roller derby players. Simple. People in roller derby skate with quad skates, perfect for Miki as she already owns a pair.

The concept is straightforward.

Though, she’s watched a few videos, and it looks like it can get gritty. It’s a sport, or rather a game. There are two rounds of about thirty minutes- Miki found that those sessions would be called ‘jams’. The teams, packs, are made up of ‘blockers’ and ‘jammers’.

Miki’s attention was captivated by the uniquity of it all. It had such specifics unlike any other sport she’d seen. She also didn’t have any idea previous people would make a competition out of a fun hobby, it’s right up her alley.

She spent hours researching and watching videos, and only when she was being forced for dinner did she finally leave her bedroom. But that was later.

In official matches, hitting of any kind is prohibited- it leads to penalties and fouls. It bummed her out, Miki saw a few videos that didn’t follow those rules. It looked exciting, it looked fun.

Tapping through every link she can, she comes across ‘roller derby near you’ and it took her to a page where she could sign up. It wasn’t in Downer’s Grove, only over the lake in Steinstill. It isn’t super far, but she was looking for something local. Only slightly let down, she somehow stumbles across different forum groups- quickly shuffling through a ‘meet ups’ sub-forum until she finds her location. There’s not a lot… but there isn’t no one. It’s a fair amount. The city is big after all.

There’s quite a popular one that happens to be in Downer’s Grove, and it makes sense to Miki. She wonders how this doesn’t come up first, probably locally hosted event. There’s a huge arena not too far from the center of town. She scrolls and scrolls, eventually getting fed up and moving to her computer. The forums load and it’s much easier to navigate on the browser.

 

!!!TOURNAMENT!!!

Hey guys!! Next week on the 12th we’re holding a match! Same place, same time as always! Gymnasium on fourth street. Smackdown is going to be there! . . .

 

Miki skimmed through the rest of the post and through the replies. What is Smackdown? At the very least, she knew where fourth street was. It used to be in the historical part of Downer’s Grove about ten years ago, it has been renovated and updated since then. The historical route is now about thirty miles north of that. Miki doesn’t understand how they can just get up and move “important” places like that. Doesn’t that change its existence? And also, doesn’t it get rid of its history? She shrugs off the thought and clicks back to the tab.

It couldn’t hurt to check it out. The girl is filled with excitement, it’s fully captivated her attention. Maybe this was just the distraction she needed.

More time passes as she researches more about the sport and eventually her phone vibrates with the notification of a text.

 

☽˖⁺

 

The day has been long, sunset sun shimmering through the window and reflecting off crystal, it reflects holographic specs of light onto the walls. The cafe phone is ringing, bouncing over the pleasant chatter of customers.

“I got it!” Brooke calls out over her shoulder as she’s reaching through the counter island’s window, picking the phone up off its hook, “Hello?” She fumbles, “I mean,” She clears her throat, “This is Shelby’s Downtown Cafe, Brooke speaking.”

Brooke has a nervous smile starting to stretch her lips, a nervous laugh tickling her throat when Cathy, her boss, enters behind the counter. Brooke doesn’t normally answer the phone, she didn’t even know they do delivery and pick up orders until this week. The cafe even does small event catering.

“What can I get for you?” She adds in quickly, pen wiggling in hand and ready to write. Brooke starts to scribble down a list of coffee orders, “Will that be pick up or delivery?” The line answers back. She writes down a few desserts.

“Okay, great. It’ll be ready in about ten minutes, can I get a name?”

The customer responds and hangs up and she breathes out a heavy sigh. Her boss laughs behind her, “See, that wasn’t so bad.” It startles Brooke a bit, but she gives the lady a smile and moves to get started on the order. Cathy picks up the note, reading it, “Your first order for, Oh- the Landons!” Her boss is smiling big. “I can’t wait to see Pam...” Something Brooke noticed is how local this place is, many customers are regulars and have been for years.

The window in the kitchen is illuminates pure hazy orange from the late sunset, the saloon door swings shut behind her. For late in the afternoon, it sure is quiet. Her phone buzzes in her pocket.

Brooke assumes it to be Miki and her heart skips a beat and she sighs, quickly dropping what she’s doing and pulls her phone out, with a small turn of events it was her friend Lucy. Her lips press together as a wave of odd emotions surge through her. She doesn’t know why she feels disappointed, it isn’t like she feels like dealing with the other girl right now. Brooke shakes the thoughts from her head and her posture slumps slightly as she reads the text from Lucy, only for that same posture to perk up again.

It looks like Brooke is going to be going out this weekend.

 

☆ ˖⁺

 

“Felix!”

 

The boy looks up from his phone with the default mad-dogging expression he has saved specifically for Miki as she trots up to the table he’s sitting at. It’s nowhere special, just a small clearing hidden off the outskirts of the park- close to the water where people go fishing. Her bag is making all sorts of noise as it always is as it sways on her back with each janky movement. The sky is the same rays of orange that paint the café adorned with purple evening waves, twisting together to bring the night closer. It’s not that late, all of five in the afternoon, maybe closer to six- winter keeps the days short.

There’s a pause of silence as Miki finishes making her way to him, “Can’t you just greet people normally? It’s stupid that you already start talking from a mile away.”

Miki’s eyebrow twitches, “I just like to announce my astounding presence early.” She smirks, then throws a hand to gesture up to the sky, “Just like the winter night.” A huff of air is the first response she gets from him. Felix turns to grab his own bag. It’s always the same, the usual.

“If your presence was so ’astounding’,” He mocks, “you wouldn’t need to announce it.”

The cocky smile the girl had drops and her expression goes blank, only to then bring it back into a playful, teeth baring, grin. She accompanies it with a shrug. When Felix looks at her his face scrunches in what appears to be disgust, “And you’re smiling like a psychopath for what?” he shakes his head with a sigh, “Fucking crazy ass.”

His hand comes out, she brings hers in to meet and grabs the bills that he offers. Miki almost drops them everywhere as she shoves them in her pocket without even counting because his hand is already out again with no time to spare, offering more items to her. “This is for the same guy as last time.”

The powder is in a piece of saran wrap, bundled up and twisted closed. Miki looks at it with amusement, “Wow.” She muses, “Where is the quality?” The girl finds this hilarious; it looks like… a spider’s egg. The boy stands up and swings his bag on, walking past her with a dark, off-put expression.

“The fuck would you know about quality?” He sneers as he passes, Miki’s amusement stops at his tone before the words even finish coming from the boy’s mouth and her eyebrows jump. She opens her mouth to snip back but he’s leaving and already speaking again, typical as ever.

Without looking back at her, “And don’t fuck it up this time.”

Mouth closed; the girl wrinkles her nose at his retreating figure. She closes her hand around the substance and then moves her bag around to put it safely in one of the front pockets. There isn’t enough time in the day for her to walk or skate across town to deliver this, so the redhead makes her way back home again with music playing from her phone.

 

When she gets home, she transfers a bit more than a crumb of the fine substance into her own old metal gum canister and some onto the back of her hand as she sits on the floor of her closet.

Felix knew, he had to. ’Don’t fuck it up’ She can’t think of a thing she’s done wrong so far, besides take some of the product for herself. Not like he has any proof of that, who’s to say he scaled any of it out right? She eyes the special packaging he did and laughs. Not to mention, his buyers could just be liars. They are druggies, after all. She rubs the back of her hand in front of her nose and the box is then shoved deep in her closet and the merchandise was put back safely in her bag for tomorrow. She spends the night skating in her backyard, alone.

 

In the end, what was he, or anyone, going to do about it?

 

☆ ˖⁺ ☽˖