As our helicopter descended through the cloud cover, I asked “Do you two think we can risk using the active radar to find a safe location before the helicopter leaves the clouds, or does that put us at too much risk of alerting an aerial predator that’s sensitive to such things?”
Wesseck raised the point “Our helicopter isn’t exactly quiet. Chances are that any organisms that would notice or care about a radar pulse already know we’re here.”
Queen replied almost immediately “I’m in agreement with Wesseck. Fire the active radar.”
Unlike our conversation about whether to use the radar – which had the advantage of our brains all still being in the same room – there was a quarter second of lag between deciding to fire the radar and us receiving the information on what exactly it uncovered.
Still, the radar pulse very rapidly revealed a detailed topographical map of the Thundersnow Steppes below us. The terrain was a mix of flat ground and gashes in the terrain from stray shots fired in a previous war, with low-lying plant cover across all of it.
As we looked over the details of the terrain, Queen noted “I vote we take this as a grid. We want to get a representative sample of the flora and fauna we’re up against, and focusing too heavily on one specific section probably isn’t too helpful. I figure we should bag a set number of organism varieties from each square, then move on to the next one.”
I chimed in with “Sixty four squares seems like a reasonable number, start in the north-east and make our way to the south-west.”
There was a pause before I noted “That said we’ve only got like forty kiloseconds until our bandwidth reservation times out, so maybe a time limit before moving to the next square instead of a bag limit would make more sense?”
Wesseck and Queen both agreed that yes, that was the most logical course of action, and I directed our helicopter to the north east.
En route, I familiarized myself with the dart guns. They were subsonic coil guns used to launch tissue sample darts nearly silently, with active driver coils in the barrel powered by a superconducting magnetic storage torus in the stock. There was a ten round box magazine for darts, and notably the darts were equipped with guidance packages that would allow them to home in on the organism they were targeted at. On impact they’d suck out a cubic centimeter of whatever bodily fluids they happened to impact at the same time as they fired a high-intensity Magnetic Resonance Imaging pulse. This would get us both a sample of the target’s cells if we could recover the dart, and a detailed scan of what their internals were like.
Of all these features I was particularly pleased with the guidance package, since it would help compensate for the latency throwing off our aim. We also all had an aim-bot program that would run drone-side, but having multiple means of compensation was a very good thing in this case.
Musings aside, soon we were over square A1 and I noted “Well, let’s see what we can shoot from here.” as I turned my chair towards the left side door of our helicopter and slid it open.
My hopes and dreams sank as I quickly picked out something down below that I’d really hoped not to have to deal with. I zoomed in with the scope of my dart gun to double check, and groaned when I saw what was there, noting “Guys, we’ve got a flock of laser goats just to our east. We need to be careful.”
Queen frowned for a moment before asking “Here, really?”
Wesseck shrugged, noting “The basic formula’s practically ubiquitous on Blackwood. Get an herbivore that travels in herds, give them all laser guns and programming to collectively fry anything that even might be a predator, and you’ve got a critter that’s damned hard to prey on without absolute stealth on the approach, swarm tactics, a ranged attack of their own, or a downright stupid amount of armor. Figures we’d find the local variant.”
I idly mused “I’m thinking that maybe we should give the squirrels indirect fire capability on account of that, but right now all I know is that I really want to make sure we get a sample from them. Think we can spare a drone to spot for some beyond-visual-range shooting?”
Queen idly noted “We did bring dozens of them along. Might as well.” even as she ordered the helicopter to dip down behind a small piece of raised terrain.
A minute or two passed as one of our drones got into position. I waited for the signal that we had a clear shot, and as soon as it was feasible I marked the herd of laser goats as targets for the sample darts in my magazine. Then I ordered my body to take aim and fire.
The dart gun kicked ten times, sending the tissue sample darts whistling through the air for several seconds. I was nervous about the laser goats possibly spotting and intercepting the darts, but I needn’t have worried. They didn’t notice the projectiles approaching until one had already embedded itself in the flank of one of their females, and by the time they’d whirled around to start shooting them down five more had already impacted.
As we got the data back from the MRI pulses I squealed in delight, even as I asked “Can we send the drones in to pick up the darts now?”
Queen hummed, before noting “Best to wait for a bit. There’s no sense wasting drones and we’ve already spooked the herd, so it’s probably best to wait for them to move on before we retrieve the samples.
On his part, Wesseck noted “Anyway, I see some flocks of birds flying overhead. We can dart some of those while we wait for the laser goats to relocate.”
What followed was a rather enjoyable day spent flying around on our helicopter and shooting darts at wildlife while also collecting samples of the local plants and fungi for examination.
We collected samples from bugs, beasts, birds, bushes, brambles, and many other taxa of life form found in the Thundersnow Steppes. There were several near misses where a particular organism nearly cut our expedition short, but most of these were relatively easy to deal with.
First was an assault by a flock of thousands of birds after we unwittingly disturbed their nesting sites. They were clawing and biting at the hull of out helicopter and repeatedly shocking it with electric currents from their talons as they tried to bring us down. While several were killed instantly on contact with the rotor blade keeping us aloft, most of them were being really quite successful in their attempts to cause us grief.
We were actually quite worried about how we were going to get out of this one intact before Queen noted “I can deal with this. Wesseck, open the door.”
Our arachnid companion did so, only for a massive blast of flame to erupt from Queen’s mouth as she marched forwards. Shortly thereafter she started clambering around the outside of the helicopter’s hull, incinerating any of the birds that dared to come any closer until they eventually withdrew. Smiling, Queen climbed back inside as she noted “It’s a good thing they left when they did; my flamethrower almost ran out of fuel. Anyway, look what I managed to get?” as she held up two filled tissue sample vials from the birds.
The next troublesome encounter we had was actually with a plant. It was a small thorn-covered bush with a dense lump on the top, and I found myself idly musing “You know, I kind of wonder what this particular plant actually does.” as one of our drones advanced towards it. The drone had barely even touched the leaves before that knob on top exploded with great force, completely demolishing the drone and sending seeds careening through the air at several times the speed of sound. A few put pockmarks in our helicopter’s windshield, but all in all we got off surprisingly light.
In the aftermath of the blast Wesseck turned to me and said “Yures, repeat after me. No. More. Tempting. Fate.”
I shrugged and replied “I’ll try to remember” even as I sent another drone to retrieve any useful information from the wreckage of the exploding bush.
Our third encounter was a sleeping bear in its den, hidden from an easy firing angle for darts by a quirk of the terrain. There was a brief pause as we considered what to do, before Queen noted “Just send a drone to poke it with some darts, we don’t have to go down there ourselves.”
A few moments later, that bear was awake and absolutely pissed, charging after us even as we undertook desperate evasive maneuvers in the helicopter to avoid repeated shots from the mag guns that the bear had mounted on either side of its head.
After a few minutes of frantic dodging and weaving, we finally got out of range of that railgun bear. Sighing with relief at not having been abruptly shot out of the sky and very happy with the data we’d recovered about its behavior, biochemistry, and anatomy.
Encounter number four was a hive of incredibly angry eusocial insects, patterned vaguely on ants. Fortunately they couldn’t fly, but unfortunately they proved to have some horrendously destructive secretions, meaning that the ones we captured were most of the way through melting their way out of the bottle before we got them into the destructive analyzer.
Still, we did get them in there, and we got very important information on the hazards posed by the ants on the Steppes.
It wasn’t until we ran into a flock of Brose’s Wyverns that things really took a turn for the worse. Our first warning that we’d attracted their attention was the helicopter’s radar, as Queen noted “Four bogeys coming in fast. Can’t tell what they are yet, but they definitely know we’re here and they’re coming right towards us.”
That’s when I made a terrible mistake, asking “Could you take us down out of the cloud cover so we can see what they are? They’ve apparently got some degree of radar stealth given that you can’t identify them.”
Queen replied with apprehension in her voice “Alright, but I’m pretty worried about this course of action.”
And so the helicopter descended until once again poking out below the clouds. This gave us our first clear visuals on the creatures, revealing majestic winged organisms covered in scales. We barely had enough time to register what we were seeing before actinic lines of searing energy flashed across the sky and blasted the mounting for our helicopter’s rotor into pieces.
Immediately afterwards, we began to fall. There were a few moments of weightlessness as we approached the ground, then with a horrible SLAM we smashed down onto the hard terrain of the Thundersnow Steppes.
I hauled myself to my feet and asked “Is everyone still able to get up and move?”
Queen groaned in pain before she replied “Yes, unfortunately.” even as Wesseck replied “Two limbs are broken, but I should still be able to get up and move.”
I thought quickly as I nodded in acknowledgment. Then I glanced out the cracked and warped window of the helicopter to see that the quartet of dragons had touched down not too far from our crash site, and were cautiously approaching. Seeing this, I noted “Guys, these bodies aren’t going to make it out of this encounter intact, so our expedition is probably over soon. The only thing that matters at this point is getting data on those wyverns, no matter the cost.”
Queen nodded too as she readied one of the dart rifles and got all four surviving drones into position, replying “Got it Yures. See you at the lab.”
And so we readied our dart guns, sticking the muzzles just barely out of the helicopter door before opening fire.
The group of Wyverns reacted with blinding speed, dodging out of the way of the later darts even as they batted the first bunch away with their wings to prevent them from penetrating. Dart after dart flew downrange, and I immediately noted “We can’t keep this up and we’re running out of ammo! Queen, how much flamethrower fuel do you have left?”
To this Queen answered “Enough for a smokescreen!” before blasting out a jet of flame to ignite the extremely flammable Blazegrass covering the Steppes.
The grass immediately lit up into a massive conflagration, flames spreading across the area with shocking speed and producing a thick black cloud of hot smoke that was opaque to both the infra-red and visual bands.
Immediately I activated my drone’s built-in sonar to penetrate the concealment of the fog before telling Queen and Wesseck “Charge them, we’re going to try forcing the darts in manually.”
And so we advanced through the smoke, closing the distance with the Wyverns as fast as we possibly could. Unfortunately they seem to have heard our approach and were in no mood to co-operate, as they had already taken to the air and were trying to blow the smoke away using their wingbeats.
Seeing this, Wesseck told Queen “Throw me! You and Yures can both fly, but I can’t!” even as the swarms of drones were already taking to the sky.
Queen rapidly obliged, grabbing Wesseck before hauling back and hurling them at the flock of Wyverns with all her might before she hurled herself off the ground as well.
Wesseck barely got halfway before all four Wyverns turned their electron beam weapons on them, opening fire with all their weaponry even as the drones fell away one by one. Wesseck’s remote body was reduced to scrap near-instantly, and we could hear them through the comms net as they noted “It’s up to you two. I’m done.”
A mere moment later, Queen slammed into the lead Brose’s Wyvern as she burst from the smoke cover, grabbing on with her talons in one hand even as with her other she forcibly rammed a handful of sample darts into the Wyvern’s chest.
Immediately Wesseck called out “We’ve got the structural scan, now get those samples to the analyzer!”
Unfortunately, before that could happen the Wyvern that Queen was grappling with bit down on her neck and fired its electron beam. Queen started flailing helplessly as her remote body’s internal functions were disrupted, and from my position on the ground I could do nothing but watch helplessly as the wyverns ripped my friend apart, the sample darts lodged securely in the chest of their target.
Thinking fast, I asked Wesseck “Can you command the sample darts to retract their needles? They’re not coming out and the wyverns are distracted right now.”
Wesseck replied over the network “Got it. Sending the command now.”
Immediately afterwards I spotted the darts starting to fall towards the ground, and I managed to catch two of them before I started making a mad dash towards the downed helicopter. The wyverns were distracted for now, but that wouldn’t last; Queen’s remote had been reduced to so much scrap, and the remaining drones that were offering me cover were being rapidly depleted.
Still, I made it into the passenger cabin with a bit of time to spare, and slotted the darts into the still-functioning parts of the analyzer as I frantically considered the situation.
That’s when Queen noted through our chat server “The analyzer still needs forty seconds to send us all the biochemical data! Get back out there and distract the Wyverns for as long as you can, Yures.”
I was already reloading my dart gun as I sent back “Got it.” and dashed back out of the door just in time to see the last three drones getting blasted out of the sky by the electron beam fire the wyverns could bring to bear.
I kept running. I wanted to put as much distance between me and the Wyverns as possible before I drew their attention, and there was conveniently an area of smoke remaining from earlier to conceal myself in. However, I never got there as Queen warned me “The wyverns are aiming at the helicopter!”
I immediately turned and fired. That very same instant all four of the wyverns turned their attention on me, and I found myself getting summarily fried by their electron beams.
Figuring I was done, I logged out of the remote body client and found my perspective back in our lab. I asked “How much time left on the analyzer getting everything?”
Immediately Wesseck brought up a visual representation of the progress bar and noted “About twenty seconds to go, and with how much attention the Wyverns are spending on your wreckage they’ll probably not get back to the helicopter before it’s done.”
And so we watched with trepidation as the Wyverns inspected my wreckage for a few seconds, before finally turning towards the downed helicopter with twelve seconds to spare. Still, with how cautious they were being about the approach, the analyzer was more than done with its upload by the time the Wyverns reached the helicopter.
As we shut down the data stream, Queen noted “Well, I’d say that was a very successful expedition when you consider everything that happened. We got good data on thousands of lifeforms in the area we’ll be competing in, we massively improved our ability to operate as a team, and we kept the mission going for most of its originally planned timeframe. I say this calls for a celebration.”
Wesseck chimed in with a great amount of cheer in his voice “I vote for ice cream! We can do other things too, but ice cream absolutely has to be part of the celebration, no exceptions.”
I chuckled for a moment at Wesseck’s enthusiasm, before asking “How about we go over the data we collected over ice cream? Maybe with a board game afterwards?”
Wesseck mulled it over for a few moments, before they replied “Yures, I know you’re really gung-ho about getting every possible bit of work time in for the competition, but I’m pretty much spent for today. I’ve just spent several kiloseconds in a highly stressful environment, and I just need some time to recover from that. Ice cream and a board game is fine right now, work isn’t.”
Queen nodded thoughtfully as Wesseck described their position, before agreeing “Wesseck’s right, the last several hours have been really stressful for the both of us. Yures, we need to take breaks or we’re going to drive ourselves into a fit.”
Sighing, I took a metaphorical step back and actually took a critical look at my own state right now. After a few moments of reflection, I replied “Yeah, you’re right about needing some time to recover. I don’t know what I was thinking when I suggested that we go right to checking over the data, but it really wasn’t the best of ideas.”
Queen shrugged as she started looking through our collection for a suitable board game, noting “You were excited about all the new data we managed to gather, it happens. Anyway, would you rather a co-operative boardgame, or a competitive one? Personally my vote is for co-operative.”
Wesseck was already on his way back from the kitchen with several large tubs of freshly made ice cream, replying “Co-op please. I don’t think I could handle anything competitive right now.”
I nodded in agreement, saying “Same here. It’s got to be a team game or it’s just not going to be any fun right now.”
Queen thought for a moment, before asking “In that case, does anyone have any objections to playing Virus right now?”
That’s when Wesseck chimed in as they set the ice cream tubs around the table, noting “I have one objection: I don’t want to get ice cream all over the game board while we’re playing. Why don’t we eat first?”
I immediately replied “I’ve got no real objections to doing that.” even as I sat down at the table and picked out a tub of ice cream for myself. I took the first bite, savoring the vaguely minty flavor for a few moments before I asked Queen “You coming?”
Queen nodded as she sat down, simply noting “Sorry, I was a bit sidetracked for a moment. Curiously, would either of you happen to know someone by the name of Veronica Machinae?”
I blinked in mild surprise and thought for a moment, before answering “Yeah, we were in microfauna lab together. Why?”
Queen answered as she jammed a spoon in her tub of ice cream “She’s entered the invasive species tournament too, and she was wondering if I’d be willing to join her team.” There was a brief pause before Queen continued “I told her I’d already got one, and wished her luck in the tournament.” as a smile crossed her face.
I chuckled at that, before replying “Careful with that sort of talk, she always said luck was the last resort of those who couldn’t rely on skill.”
Queen threw back her head in laughter as she replied “I know, right? It’s the perfect trash talk to get her all riled up, and even better she can’t call us on it because it’s also wishing her well.”
Wesseck looked slightly confused at this, before asking “I know that trash talk is kind of a tradition and it doesn’t make much sense to help our opponents, but do we really have to? Can’t we please be a team with more class than that?”
I hummed for a moment, before replying “Sure, we can knock it off with the trash talk. Still, it’s interesting to know that Veronica’s also in the contest. Did she say which category she registered for?”
Queen double-checked the message, before saying “Yeah, get this, she chose an air-based predator for the Thundersnow Steppes.”
I blinked in mild surprise, before returning to my ice cream as I mulled over that. I mean, we knew there would be other competitors entering organisms in the same region as us, but for it to be someone we knew was slightly unexpected.
The remainder of the evening passed without much fanfare. We all enjoyed the ice cream Wesseck had picked out for us, and once it was gone I noted “Well, I guess it’s time for a game of Virus, if everyone’s ready for it?”
The cleaning drones were already removing our ice cream tubs and spoons as well as wiping up the table. After a few moments, Wesseck said “I’ll be completely honest with you… I’m just not feeling in a board-gamey mood. Sorry for changing my mind so much, but it’s just how things are right now. You two can play if you want.”
I thought for a moment, before noting “Virus really needs three players and I don’t particularly feel like copying myself just for a board game, so I guess that’s off. Is there anything you do want to do?”
Wesseck thought for a moment, before asking “Could we just watch a movie or something? Some nice passive entertainment would be great right now, and the total immersion of an experience recording is just too much.”
Queen thought for a moment, before asking “Would a rom-com work for both of you?”
I smiled at the thought, before replying “Yeah. I’ll probably be wanting to swap bodies before things get started, but a rom-com sounds just fine.”
Wesseck nodded slowly as they munched on a candy bar they pulled from somewhere or other, agreeing “Yeah, I could go for a movie about some people being hilariously bad at falling in love. That sounds like exactly what I need to de-stress from all that time we spent on Blackwood.”
This is the free edition of The Blackwood Tourney. It is entirely pre-written, and will have one chapter released each week on Saturday.
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