7. A: Hallucinations

Fuussshhh.

With a loud sound, the mad whirlwind around me has...

Suddenly dissipated.

And feeling that...

“fuuu...”

All I could do was sighing of relief, as the pressure on me has finally st-....

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Sudden heartbeats.

-ped.

Sudden shortness of breath.

“Haaa..., Haaa..., Haaa...”

I t-take t-that b-b-back... l-lowering my guard was clearly a m-mistake...

Thud.

Thinking so, I fall to my knees, as a familiar feeling of pain is back to gripping my heart.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Sudden heartbeats.

No, not just the familiar pain. NO...

“this...., Haaa...., w-worse...., Haaa...., t-truly worse....”

It’s t-truly worse than anything I have ever f-felt before...

H-honestly, if I knew that force-stopping that w-whirlwind would cause this much pain, I would have just left it, or something...

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Sudden heartbeats.

Because, compared to that weird external pressure of before, what I am feeling now, is hundred-, no, a thousand times worse, if not more...

Pain, yes, pain, if it was only pain, then maybe... I could have s-stood it...

But, right now, what I am suffering from is not j-just that, no...

It’s more...

What I am suffering from is.... is...

W-well, to describe it, is it maybe schizophrenia hallucinations ? or something similar?

H-honestly, I don’t really know.

Instead, what I know is the fact that the world around me is...

Going crazy...

Ding.

Thinking so, I do my best in not falling face down, as I use my hands for stabilizing my body.

-Rebooting-

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

“Fuuu..., Haaa..., Fuuu..., Haaa...”

Still, t-to think that the moment the whirlwind stopped, it will once again start.... inside of me, that is.

Pain, and so much pain, but that w-wasn’t the o-only thing, no.

Instead, there was also chaos.

Yes, chaos.

A total chaos in my senses, in my thinking, and also in my perception.

Blink.

Still, chaos is probably a vague word for you to understand my meaning, right?

Well, then let me explain a little more...

Explain the madness, I am going through right now, and how everything is just ..... well, I don’t know, crazy maybe?

So, to start is probably my vision. My very blurry, and hazy vision.

Unable to see, lost can’t tell colors, and with nothing recognizable...

“ welcom-?!....”

In the beginning, that is. because just as I got used to that bleak world, it once again changed, and suddenly I am seeing again...

No, I don’t even know if this can be compared to before, this incredible clarity, this unbelievable eyesight, it’s clearly even better than before, though just like before, it doesn’t last.

“ temporary account? are you okay?”

And instead, it once again changes. And so, this time what I am seeing is colors. Yes, streams of colors. Flowing through the air, as if paint on water, but again....

“ dammit....”

“ ??!....”

It changed, or to be specific, it got corrupted, and instead of the colors I was once seeing, it suddenly start twisting into a new black, dark, and gloomy world. Like that, the colorful world I was once seeing is now completely drowned in the color of darkness.

Still, such a thing doesn’t last, and just as suddenly as it appeared, all of the blackness of this world, start melting, and like paint in water, it starts breaking, as it gets erased...

And so moving from my vision, next is probably my hearing, huh? Well, this time, it’s total silence.

“XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX ? XXX XX XXXX?”

A short momentary one that is, before all the noise suddenly starts.

Rustling noise was it? Well, not anymore. Because, this time it is a weird screeching, followed by maddened howls, and screams, and of course, not lasting, they are once again changed, this time it’s.....

“music? Singing?...”

“XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX ? XXX XX XXXX?”

Or is it maybe just a wordless humming? Well, I don’t care, or more like I don’t have the mental capacity to...

Because the worst is yet to come...

Yes, following my hearing is the sense of smell...

And let’s just say that the beautiful garden of Eden wasn’t the only scent I smelled. Oh, no.

What I smelled, was closer to a roller coaster, everchanging, times as if drowning in a world of roses, and times as if drowning in an old coffin filled with spoiled milk, or is it simply the difference between a luxury perfume, and a dump of old industrial waste? Well, something like that probably...

And Oh, Yeah, they say smell and taste are connected, do they not? Well, guess what?

How I wished that was true. Because the moment I was smelling something nice, it’s was like I am tasting the dirt of a ghoul cemetery, while the next, as my nose is suffering, is totally different, with a fascinating sweet chocolate taste.... delicious? Probably. Desired? Well, NO.

Still, that’s not the worst, but only the beginning of it. Yes, the worst is my sense of touch.

And to explain it? Well, let’s say that having pain distracting me, was a blessing.

Having it distracting me, was probably, better than having my attention focused on the endless waves of crawling insects I felt under my skin, or the weird feeling of drowning in cold water, though the worst was probably the feeling of hundred of hands tearing at my skin, I think.

And so, once again, it starts, and a cycle after cycle I am lost between my senses, and my world, as time is clearly dancing .....

“ teryact ? ruay?”

Yes, dancing. Because Time, and now it’s flowing fast, and also the time, though now it’s flowing slow.

“aaaarrrrre yoooooou okaaaaay?”

Time, and I freeze as the world is blurring, then Time, and I am lost as all around me is stopped.

“ temporary account ? are you okay? temporary account ?”

And so, cycle after cycle, I am lost and even more, I am confused, as my world is changing, turning, and circling.

Ding.

And so, and so, and so...., I am lost, once, twice, thrice, and more.....

-Announcement: Trial Participation-

As my senses go crazy, as my pain thrives, as my blood drip.... hm? Blood? Drip?

“huh?”

Paying attention to the anomaly, I am surprised at the blood flowing down my face, as if crimson tears shed by my heart.... or not.

What I am surprised at actually, is that finally, it seem all of this madness has stopped, or is stabilized a better word?

Drip.

Drip.

Oh, and also that for some reason, I am bleeding. My eyes that is.

Well, I take that back, it’s not only my eyes that were bleeding, but also.....

“my eyes....., my ears....., nose....., mouth...., and even my skin is flowing with blood.... great...”

And I thought the seizures were bad before...

Sig-....

“Cough. Cough. Cough..... dammit...., ugh.”

Feeling my pain subsiding, I calm down but then feeling my clearly exhausted body, I try sighing, when...

I end up pathetically choking on my own blood.