22. A: Beyond Black

Say, have you ever drowned? If yes, then do you remember it?

That feeling of weakness when confronted by the waves... That feeling of aimlessness when you were swept by the flow... And that despair when everything slowly turned black?....

But more than anything.... do you remember it?..... How beautiful it was, that light of realization you have seen at last, when it slowly broke through the darkness reaching you.... do you remember it?

Hmmmmm? You don’t?

Hm, well, it’s fine...

Even if you can’t remember it, it’s fine... after all, to me right now.....

There is no such light.....

Instead, there is only a distorted world of black... there is only cold loneliness..... and there is they, the hollow shadows here...

.....

Drowning..... drowning with no hope.... into the black.... do so, and you will understand.... how distorted this world truly is...

Help me... I am afraid.... don’t leave me..... do you need me..... I am not needed..... is there someone?.... what is that?..... Run, Run... Help me..... don’t stop... Run... it’s meaningless..... why... why...

Why?

Yes, why? Why is this world so distorted?

I am happy.... do you like it... it’s new.... to help.... come back.... we can.... find it.... somewhere.... do you want.... lost.... we?.... destroyed.... nowhere..... how..... how...

How can it be...

Yes, how can it be like this.... this world, so cruel... how can it be like that...

Alone.... we.... you.... this place.... them.... escape... support.... protect.... until... No... No...

No, No, No, No...

No, it can’t stay like this... it can’t... it should not...

Truth... lie.... somewhere... someone.... help... alone... save.... save me.... save... save us...

YES, SAVE US...

Help us, someone save us.... someone, anyone.... please.... save us...

Help us.... Save us.... Afraid.... Alone..... why?.... how... No.... can’t..... Otherwise...

It would be meaningless.... it would be...

Meaningless

....

Drown.... and only then, you will see it...

ZzztTt.

Drown, and only then you will understand it...

zZzZZsh.

Drown, and doing so, you will understand how it feels... to be weak, with no power to resist the endless stream...

ZzzzZSHsssT.

To be lost, when thousands of hands, thousands of shadows stretch, slowly drawing closer, as they.... seek to devour you...

zZzZZzsSSSH.

Drown, and you will feel it.... how it is.... to be corroded, corrupted, and assimilated by the endless black.... how it is, to hope, but to never find light..... and how it is, when all what makes you, slowly but surely, get painted in colors.... completely not yours...

Drown.... and only then, you will understand...

That the light you saw that day, was nothing but your illusion.... that the dream you once had, was simply a lie, and that the thing those hands hold is actually...

Nothing...

And so, drown.... open your eyes and drown.... open your heart and drown.... until there is nothing, drown.... until you lose everything.... drown...

Drown.....

..ro..n..

...n...

.......

.......

.......

-conditions have been met.

You have acquired Extra Skill: Curse Sense.-

-Extra Skill: Curse Sense has been integrated into Extra Skill: Observer.-

.......

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zZzZsSHhs.

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-Conditions have been met

Skill: Adaptation Lv5 has become Lv6-

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ZzzZSsshZ.

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-Conditions have been met

Skill: Magic power Lv6 has become Lv7-

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-Abnormalities have been Detected-

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.......

ZzzShsHZzz.

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.......

-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv7.-

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-Conditions have been met

Skill: Health Lv6 has become Lv7-

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv6.-

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ZzZShZzz.

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv5.-

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv4.-

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ZzzzshZ.

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv3.-

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zZzzsh.

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv2.-

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zZzsh.

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Regressing to Lv1.-

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zZsh.

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-Abnormalities have been Detected.-

.....

Say. Have you ever drowned? If yes, then tell me? What do you think it looks like?

That thing beyond the bottomless black. That place beyond Human Eyes. That light beyond the endless nothingness.... how does it look like?

Or could it be.... you failed to see it? You couldn’t reach it? Ah, maybe you didn’t dare look for it?.....

Say, what do you think drowning means.... what do you think losing yourself mean.... hmmm, no answer? Well, it’s normal, I guess.... but pathetic nevertheless...

Drowning, ha? Drowning? Hmmm...

So what? So what if I were to drown? So what if I were to lose myself?

So what if I were to be consumed by an endless black?

So what? Will I change? Will I be meaningless?

So what if the stream is unstoppable? If the wave insurmountable? Do I get swept? Do I get lost?

But what does that really mean?

.....

ZzzZsHhS

.....

Losing yourself? Denying yourself? What the hell does that mean?

Not yours? Not the colors you wanted? So what? It’s the way this world is...

......

ZzzZsSHzZ.

.......

Feeling weak? Feeling lost? Then be it.... accept it.... and who knows.....

Maybe something else will appear...

......

ZzzZZSshHSz.

......

So what if this world of black is endless? So what if my reach is limited? That simply means I have to stretch my hands further...

And if even then they are still empty? Then I just have to fill them...

Instead of whining, is not that...

“cooler.”

.......

ZhzZzZZZshSHS.

......

-Conditions have been met

Skill: Adaptation Lv9 has become Lv10-

.......

And then, even if I were to fail it will be alright, even if I were to lose it will be alright, and even if there was no end, it will still be alright.... why?

Because then I will see it.... then, I will hear it... because then I will find the thing I was looking for.....

......

ZzZzzSSsshZ.

......

Say, do you know what black means? Say, do you know what oblivion means?

Hmmm? Maybe you don’t? well, then let me tell you what’s it is...

Let me show you what it’s... the thing beyond black.... the thing that only Clear Eyes can see...

.....

Crack.

Glass-eye breaking sound.

....

Because you see, from the beginning, it was wrong.... the World? Me? Both? Maybe Neither? I don’t know.... maybe I don’t even care...

Nevertheless, there is something I know...

There is something I understand...

Something I saw.... hmmm? But that will be weird, right? Because, if it’s truly a world of black, if it’s truly a world of no hope, then hey.... how could I see?....

Hmmm...

Smile.

Well, the answer to that is simple. It’s because from the very beginning there was an exception.... what is that exception you ask?

Well, of course, it’s me...

It’s the fact, that even if the world was really black, even if the world was truly endless and dark, I can always look ahead, and I can always see ahead...

Simply because of the fact that in a world of no illumination, I am my Only Light.

......

CRACK.

.....

And in a world covered in black, that light is the only guide I need.... a guide to see the true form of black, to see the true colors mixed inside.... to see the world, only they see...

.....

SHATTER.

.....

-Abnormalities have been Detected.

Extra Skill: Fragmented Mind has been acquired.-

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And so, in a world of black, there’s nothing to fear, there’s nothing to avoid..... because as long as those hands are covered in light.... then it’s but a matter of time...

As long as those hands are covered in light, then it’s but a matter of choice...

And so, in a world of black, the only thing I need to do...

Is to stretch that hand... toward the colors behind the black, toward the interlude beyond the screams, and toward the answer once forgotten...

Because that...

Is what black means.... that is what oblivion means.... and because that...

Is a choice, I made...

ZZzZSHSzzZ.

Lightning sparks sound.

And so, stretch your hand...

-conditions have been met.-

And toward light... Drift.

-You have acquired Extra Skill: Aura Sense.-