The 5 of us remained around the round table. The seating arrangement remained the same, because none of us got up, and it hasn't been long since my last... Uhm, extended session of thought, phrased almost like a conversation, I guess. Huh, thinking about it, isn't this kinda... Uh, I'm getting the feeling that things'll get weird if I keep thinking about this. Think I'll stop. Yeah... Anyways, it's just been a few seconds, and nobody's moved, there hasn't been enough time for anyone to move. Because that's how time works, and that's all the philosophy I ever needed to know. Eat dirt, social studies curriculum. 

Everyone was awkwardly looking around the table, waiting for someone to speak up and go next. 

"Right. Looks like it's my turn." S said. 

Ooh, this should be interesting. 

I took a sip of my drink in anticipation.

S began his tale. "Alright, so I was back in... was it Starsford? Yeah, think it was Starsford. I always end up in Starsford. Anyways, I was running this job, pretty normal job, as far as things go. Objective was a little weird, but I didn't think much of it, and, or maybe because, the pay was huge, it was nuts. Not like I could say no to a price like that, no matter what the job was."

"What was the objective? Slaying a monster? Finding a magical artifact?" Michaus asked enthusiastically.

"I'm getting to that. Right, well, truth is, on my way out... Well, see, I had a general idea of where I was supposed to go, but... Well, I got a little... turned around, soon after I left town."

Hopelessly lost, I wager. 

"Anyways, I'd ran into some patrol of guards from town. Well, I say 'ran into', they were heading down the same road that I'd intersected at some point. Now, normally, I'd just avoid them and be on my merry way, but there were some... Complications, let's say."

Yeah, like being hopelessly lost. I took a sip of my drink.

"So, I chat with them for a bit. Turns out, the captain was with them. I didn't notice initially, 'cus he was wearing normal guard crap, instead of his usual hoity toity captain attire. Oh, and my buddy Todd happened to be running with them as well... Odd guy. But he's not important to the story, anyways, the captain was in this patrol, but, like, secretly. Kind of." 

"Oh yeah, the guard captain up in Starsford's 'supposed to be some big shot or something, right?" Charolette asked. 

"Right, yeah, he's that one dukes' brother, and he's got some special somethin' or other, I dunno." S explained. 

"Yeah. Wonder why they put him in Starsford? I mean, it's a big place, sure, but it's not like it's the capital or a border city or anything." Charolette wondered aloud.

"Not sure. Prolly just likes the place." S assumed. 

"Eh, it is quite beautiful up there." I said. Makes sense.  I took a sip, thinking about Starsford. Glad DYN-2 put me around there. Nice place. 

"Right, right. Anyways, the captain was just in this random patrol in the middle of nowhere, which was odd, for sure. So, I got a little curious, and, turns out, they were going to the same place I was, lookin' for the same thing. Yeah, they weren't happy about me also knowing about the thing we were going to. Apparently it was supposed to be some sort of secret or something, public safety whatever." 

"Not much of a secret if the guild knew about it." I said. I mean, if they know about it, then that's just public information at that point.

"Welllll, actually... They didn't." S said, hesitating a little. 

"Oh?" I said. 

"Well, maybe I know a guy. Maybe that guy is a probably senile, almost definitely insane, local old coot / magic shop owner / possibly ancient wizard guy. Maybe he knew about it, somehow, and wanted some parts." S explained. 

"Oh, that guy."

"Also, he may have summoned the thing, actually. I'm really not sure. Definitely wasn't on purpose, though. Probably." S probably said too much, I wager. He continued, "Anyways, I knew, they knew, they didn't like that I knew, and that's about the time I realized that this probably wasn't going to be a normal job. Despite everything, they brought me along with them to deal with the thing, 'cus they knew I'd just run in alone anyways, or, at best, I'd just go back to town and then everyone'd know about it. To be honest, I wanted to just sprint in alone regardless, even with their little 'invitation', but, frankly, I was a little apprehensive at this point, so I took them up on their offer. I quickly learned that that was probably the best decision I made that day." 

S paused, for a moment. Perhaps gathering his thoughts or something. I sipped as he did this. 

"See, the objective was to grab some parts from a mad chicken that had been spotted nearby. Now, I'd never heard of a mad chicken before, so I didn't really know what to expect. The guy had warned me that they were larger than normal, as is the case with most mad beasts, but... I was not prepared for what stood before me." 

S looked up at the ceiling, visualizing the creature he was about to describe.

"This chicken was... Nothing short of giant. And then some. It was..." 

He started moving his hands around, trying in vain to illustrate the sheer magnitude of this co-... Chicken. The magnitude of this chicken. 

"Oh, that's a lot of meat. Chicken's a good meat." Zramazos said. Yeah. Can't go wrong with chicken, I guess. 

"That's what I thought, too. Problem was getting to that meat. The thing was impenetrable! Try as we might, even the combined force of all of us couldn't even scratch the thing!"

Hard to imagine S being beaten by a... Chicken, of all things. I took a sip as I thought about such things. 

"Fortunately, its attacks were slow, but... Devastating, for sure. It left huge footprints, and whenever it moved its head, or any part of its body, for that matter, the wind pressure was downright oppressive. It'd have been harrowing, had it not been so funny. I mean, it was hard not to giggle even as one of the guards got hit and ended up gravely injured. Heck, even he was laughing. I mean, it was a chicken the size a mansion or 3!" 

How's something that big even, like, live? Wouldn't it just collapse on itself? Especially with chicken legs... Eh, magic, probably. 

"Well, how'd you beat it? Did you just, like, tie up its legs or something?" Charolette asked. 

"Right, no, no, we didn't. Would have been a good idea, though. See, we were about to give up, but then, seemingly out of nowhere, the captain must've had friggin' divine intervention or something, because he somehow thought of the idea to SEND SOMEONE FLYING up on top of the beast, using friggin' water magic. It was crazy, obviously, but nobody had any better ideas. Plus, it sounded fun as heck. And, as luck would have it, I was the only one who could do it. 'Cus everyone else was in bulky, heavy armor. Plus, I was the smallest."

Oh yeah, kinda didn't think about that. Man, what kind of adults invites a kid to go kill a giant monster?

"Right, so, next thing I know, I'm runnin' down the way, getting ready to take the biggest flying leap of my life. I actually had to practice a few times before he let me do it, so I guess it wasn't really the next thing I knew, but, anyways, I leapt. Pretty good leap, too. And, just before I began my descent,  suddenly PWSHHH FWSHHH PSHWYUUWUWSHPFSH- Blasts of water comin' from everywhere, I'm flyin', I feel the wind beneath me and see the ground so far below, I swear, time felt like it was moving slower as I was up there. Exhilarating. I almost didn't make it to the top, I had to jam my freakin' blade into the creature to grab on, and I actually slid down a bit after I did that, oh man, the noise it made... My ears rang for days. Anyways, I had to climb my way to the top, and then, that's where the fun began." 

S then went on to describe the most messed up series of events that I'd ever heard in my life, and hopefully will ever hear in my life. It was so vivid. So gross. So much blood, So much... Eh, ew ewe ew ew ew. Anyways, I've taken the liberty of locking away this part of his story in the deepest, darkest, dampest corners of my mind, never to see the light of day again. Charolette and Zramazos clearly shared my opinion, being visibly disgusted. And, predictably, Michaus was listening excitedly, and had the hugest, brightest smile I'd seen in years. He almost seemed jealous, actually. Yikes. 

I finished my drink as he concluded his tale. 

S concluded, "Anyways, by the end of it, they let me keep the eyes, the toes, and and a load of the feathers! Couldn't get the beak, though, far too tough. Impenetrable, probably. I gave the old coot most of it, got a HUGE payday, but I kept a feather for myself. Think I ended up giving it to my cousin back in her inn or something."

Ahah! A way out of all this chicken talk! "Wait, the same inn we stayed in? The innkeeper lady's your cousin?" I guess that explains why they're that close. You'd never be able to tell from looking at them, though.

"Right, did I not tell you that? Yeah, she is. Well, distant, anyways. It goes a ways..." He had an odd look on his face before he paused. Wonder what that's about? He continued. "Anyways, it's a little complicated."

"Yeah, yeah." I nodded as if I understood what he was talking about. I didn't. 

"Right, anyways, that's all I got, what's the oven at?" S said. 

"Oh, it's, uhh..." Charolette peered over at the oven once more. "451. Think we got time for one more."

I'd have sipped, but I'm out of drink. Unfortunate. 

"So... who's next?"