"Alright," Catface began, soon after we got our food and drinks. Turns out the mystery thing that Catface ordered earlier was some weird fruity, colorful beverage, like something you'd see in a cartoon in the place of alcohol. "I know I said I'd make you pay for the meal before I explained why I called you guys here, but, honestly, as great as that line was, in the interest of time, I think we oughta chat while we eat, yeah?" Catface concluded.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, actually. Kinda awkward up until this point." I said. 

"Yeah, sorry about that." 

"Nah it's fine. It was a cool line-" I began.

"Right, can we get on with this?" S interrupted, angrily, clearly not a fan of the current, more casual atmosphere.

"Alright, alright, geez." Catface began. "So, uh, if my assumptions are correct, you guys went to figure out what was up with the guards, right? Why they're all runnin' about?" They said, through a mouthful of fish.

S nodded. He leaned in closer, and quietly said, "Because of you, right?"

"That's what I'd assumed. I've always been quite the crowd pleaser." Catface said, Rather smugly. "Anyways, what I want to know is how much you know. Rather, how much the guy who told you knows." 

"But they told us we weren't allowed to tell anybody." I explained in between spoonfuls of soup. 

"And if we refuse to talk?" S asked.

"I might rough this place up, I guess. Dunno, haven't thought about it that hard." 

"Lay a finger on this place and you're dead." S said, sternly, not going be intimidated by a threat as lax as that. C'mon, Catface, you can do better than that, surely.

"Sounds fun." Catface said, smiling. Alright, that's better. "Buuut, I'd rather not fight right now."

That's surprising.  

Catface continued. "Look, I wouldn't feel good torching this place, and you don't want me to torch it, let's compromise." They took a sip of their fruity drink. 

S hesitated, for a moment. "Fine. What exactly do you want to know?"

"Well... Whatever you heard." 

"Right... well, they seem convinced that you're part of a terrorist organization. They have everyone on high alert because of that." 

Catface chuckled. "Yeah, that makes sense. What else?"

"We're not supposed to say." I explained, again, before taking another spoonful of soup.

"Well, I'm the perpetrator, so I'd already know about if any of it's true. No shame talking about the secret to someone who already knows, rrrriiight?"

Hmm... Well, that almost makes sense. Makes enough sense for me, anyways. Plus, I have actually been aching to ask Catface about what Baldy told us... Y'know, what kinda adult shares secrets like this with kids, anyways! Our sense of integrity is still kinda muddy! Of course we're gonna gossip about it!  

"Yeah, alright." I said.

"Wait." S said, before I could ask any questions. "What do you intend to do with this information, anyways?" 

 Catface thought about that for a bit, taking another bite of their tuna. "To sate my curiosity, mostly. Might be helpful for future performances, too. Admittedly, there's a good chance it'll be useless, though." 

"Right."

"Uh, shouldn't we discuss this somewhere private?" I said. I didn't think it would be a good idea to discuss state secrets in the middle of a restaurant, y'know? I mean, obviously, I doubt anybody would take idle chatter from kids too seriously, but... Still. 

S grinned at the idea, not even trying to keep their bloodlust a secret.

"Well, I'd love to, but then I'd lose my collateral, wouldn't I? Plus, this one seems keen to stab me the second we leave town." Catface explained, gesturing over to S. 

One of S's eyes twitched. 

"That said, I'm happy to... Compromise, if you'll let me." Catface said, before stretching out their arms in both directions. 

S created his glass blade. "What are you planning?" 

"Nothing dangerous." Catface said. Really? That's surprising.

S sniffed. Then, he hesitated for a moment, before turning to me. "If she does anything funny, I need you to take one of us out of here. I don't plan on holding back." 

Hard to argue with that. I nodded, and made a square with my index fingers and thumbs. Now's not the time to be concerned about people seeing me use these.

"Don't worry, just a little... Protection, is all." Catface said. They snapped in both of their hands, and bright blue light burst out from their hands as they did, forming a bubble around us, before quickly vanishing. Didn't appear to be anything destructive. S didn't seem to notice anything dangerous, either. I let my arms down. 

"Oh, uhm, hey, no magic in the building, please!" The innkeeper lady shouted from the bar.

"Uh, sorry." I stood up, and shouted back. 

Catface laughed. Eh? 

"Pardon?" The innkeeper lady said.

"S-Sorry." I repeated.

"What?" She asked.

"S-sor..." I began, as Catface burst out laughing even louder.

"It's a silence spell! She can't hear us, you dope!" Catface said, still laughing. "Nobody outside this booth can." 

"Oh." Well, that's embarrassing. Also, rude! I sat back down and took a sip of my soup. 

S sniffed, and thoroughly scanned the room, for a moment. When he was satisfied, dispelled his blade and... Kinda relaxed. The kind of relaxed that's ready to fight at the drop of a hat. 

"Anyways, we should be free to chat now." Catface said.

"Convenient." I said.

"Yeah, you have no idea." Catface said. Not sure what to think about that, to be honest.

Anyways, "So, we know two things." I said. "Firstly, what's up with the statues?" 

"Oh, those? Catface began. "Don't like 'em." 

...

What? Really? "T-that's it?" I asked. 

"They just piss me off." They explained. 

"Oh." Well, that's disappointing. "So, I guess that bit with the Dark Lord was silly, too, huh..." I said. I guess Baldy did say that it was unlikely, anyways...

Catface seemed confused, strangely. "The Dark Lord?" 

"Y-yeah. Uh, the theory was that the destruction of the statues was connected to 'reviving the Dark Lord' somehow... I'd assumed you wanted to do it so you could fight the Dark Lord, but I guess that's silly, huh..." I said. "I also kinda wanted to see the Dark Lord..." I added, quieter, to myself.

Catface paused, for a moment. They didn't move a muscle. 

Then, they started roaring with laughter.

It was the loudest I'd ever heard them laugh. Perhaps the loudest I'd heard anyone laugh.

It was kinda scary, actually.

Even S seemed visibly unnerved. 

"Y... You know what," Catface began, barely audible through their laughter. They stared me dead in the eye, their gaze piercing through me. "You hit the nail on the head. Right now,

I want nothing more than to fight the Dark Lord." -

- They said, with a terrible grin on their face. 

I felt a chill run down my spine, into my bones, and into the very core of my being as they said that. I can't really explain it, but it felt like, instead of Catface, it was something utterly incomprehensible that was staring into me, saying those words. 

It terrified me.