I have no idea what to make of this situation. Well, I'm pretty sure that the hysterical laughter is coming from the immortal whose name I still haven't asked yet because I'm now realizing that I forgot to, again, and that the other laugh probably came from a third party who's probably not very nice. But other than that, real confused. Actually, knowing all that is actually making me more confused. 

But I get the feeling that I should probably make whatever is happening here stop happening, yeah? Yeah. 

Well, as much as I'd like to do that, I've got this leather behemoth in front of me. Fortunately, he seems about as confused as I am. 

Should I just book it over to that bush now? Or am I gonna have to deal with this guy first? 

If I move now, I might be able to... No, he's probably faster than me. I could try to figh- nope, not even entertaining that idea. Okay, uhh, maybe I could distract him with a- 

And then the bush caught fire. 

The two of us looked over at the bush, in surprise. 

And then at each other. And then back at the bush. And then back at each other.

"Should we..." I said, gesturing over to the bush that is currently erupting in both laughter and fire.

He nodded, and we both dropped our weapons and sprinted over to the bush.

Always great to find a like minded individual.

I reached out my arms, and summoned my NWTs, 4 of them, the usual way. To be honest, I'm not sure how good these are gonna be at grabbing people, but, if I need to pull a body out of something, I'm gonna need all the help I can get. Plus, they'll be helpful if leather dude or whoever else is in this bush decides to attack.

I quickly made my way over to the bush (or, at least, what remained of the bush. Leaves and such burn quite fast), where the immortal would have entered, ready to carry her out if need be. Fortunately, I located her pretty quickly.  

Because she was already walking out of the bush, trying (and failing) to hold back intense laughter, completely red faced. Unsurprisingly, she didn't show any signs of being burnt or anything, despite walking directly out of a ball of pure fire. Even her clothes were barely singed. What, are they immortal, too? 

To be entirely honest, though I am quite relived that she walked out unscathed, I do feel a bit disappointed that I didn't get the chance to be a cool action hero. Ah well. Maybe next time. I dispelled my NWTs in defeat. 

"You okay?" I asked, as we walked away from the fire. I figure she's okay, but the laughter does sort of unnerve me, given the situation. I hope she's not, like, an insane pyromaniac, or something. That'd make my job a lot harder. 

"Y-heh-ea-heh" She managed to get out. 

"What happened?" I asked. As curious as I am about the laughing, this is probably a more pressing matter.

She attempted to say something immediately, but she wasn't able to say anything understandable. She paused, took a deep breath, and, while still red faced, smiling, and holding back a chuckle, said "Uh, I went into that bush, ran into a creepy guy, and he got all weird and then angry about something. And then, well." She gestured towards the fire, still smiling. 

Aha! Opportunity knocks! "Now that's what I call a fiery personality." I said.

Immediately, her face straightened out, and there was no sign she was ever laughing or has ever laughed in the first place. She then stared at me with that classic mix of anger and disappointment that tends to follow that sort of thing. 

"You bastard." 

...

I wonder what that other guy's doing? 

---

Gahdangit, talk about bad luck. And here I thought we had the day off. Maybe we oughta just take off after we get this sorted. Doubt anyone'll find out. Don't think they'd care even if they did. 'Least, not for a while, anyways. Whole operation's in a bit of a tizzy right now, what with Branch takin' off, and all the business with the guards. Plus that surprise visitor... Gah, just thinkin' about it gives me the shivers. 

Pretty sure the reason they sent everyone out on stupid low return jobs like this was to just to get us out the city while they sort everything out. I mean, why have us do bandit work on a road like this? Who would even bother coming down here? We been sittin' here in these bushes for hours now, and all we found was a couple little kids on a fishing trip. Truth be told, I was just gonna let 'em pass. I ain't gonna rob a kid. Even I got some morals.

But, he just had to go and poke his stupid nose in here. What was even the point of that? Do kids just like jumping in bushes these days? Though, in fairness, I guess these bushes are pretty funny lookin'. You gotta wonder how they got so big, right?

I tried to shoo him off normally, I really did, but I've never been good at talkin'. Mostly I just grunt at people. Usually Lou takes care of that end, and even then, he don't say much. We're just muscle, usually. Glorified secretaries. All we do is stand around 'n look scary. So, I figured I'd just try to scare the kid off, like I usually do. Hoped he'd just grab his sister or friend or whatever and run off, giving us an excuse to leave. Honestly, I was quite surprised when the kid got his weapons out. And sickles, of all things. Reminds me of that one guy. Still can't believe they gave a golden opportunity like that to that bozo. Actually, thinkin' about it, I haven't seen him in a while. Maybe he skipped town.

Anyways, I'd thought the kid was gonna try to fight me, but, from the looks of him, it seemed like he wanted the same thing I did. I was 'bouta tell him to run off, but then... Lou, that stupid bastard. 

I figure the girl ran into him, just like the boy ran into me. Lou, bored out of his mind by then, probably saw this as a golden opportunity. Now, I don't think he initially wanted to kill the girl. He probably just wanted to see her cry. I'd guess that girl's probably just as crazy as he is, given that she could laugh at whatever it was he did to her. Honestly, thinkin' about it scares the hell outa me. And probably pissed Lou off somethin' fierce.  

Which brings us to now. That idiot set fire to the bloody bush he was squattin' in. I tossed my sword aside as I ran to the bush, and the kid did the same. Not like I was actually planning on using my sword. I barely know how, to be honest. I'm not much of a fighter, despite my looks. I can't swing a sword, and I haven't got the faintest clue about magic. Usually Lou takes care of that stuff.

The kid did somethin' weird with his sleeves or somethin' as we ran, but I wasn't about to stand around and watch. I ran up to the right of the bush, and reached into the fire. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened, which is why I'm decked out in leather. It was expensive, but it's better than getting burnt. Luckily, the boss agreed that it was a business expense, so I didn't have to pay a copper. Funny that our criminal organization has more benefits than most legal jobs. Honestly, that's the only reason I've stuck around so long.

"Lou? Buddy? Can you hear me? Are you okay?" I shouted into the fire.

"Of course I'm okay, you nitwit!" Lou shouted, angrily. "Pull me out already!" 

"Yeah yeah, I'm on it." I said, trying to figure out where to grab him. Eventually, I was able to grab under his armpits and lift him out like a cat. 

He came out a little crispy, but he didn't seem to mind. He's done stuff like this so often that, on top of losing every hair on his body, he seems to have built up some sort of resistance to his own magic. And he's probably too angry to realize the pain he's in at this point, anyways. 

"Now, put me down, you numbskull!" He shouted, waggling his limbs around. Lou's on the shorter side, and pretty light, too, so I was able to hold him up above the ground.  

"Are you gonna chase down and try to kill that child?" I asked. 

"Yes! Now let go of me, you brute!" 

"No. Not until you calm down." 

"Bwah!" He screamed, before crossing his arms and pouting, and mumbling "Stupid musclehead..."

I sighed. Gah, what am I gonna do with this guy? Healer's probably out on a job, so I can't take him to 'em, and I doubt we can go to anyone in town without them asking questions, 'specially with all the guards about... Looks like I'm gonna have to nurse him back up myself. Good thing I brought salves...

...

Huh? Wait a second, where the hell did that kid's sickles go? He threw 'em just over there, right? 

Bah, I probably just didn't see him grab them. Probably ran by and pocketed them before he left. 

Wait, where was he holding those, anyways? I know he wasn't carrying them when he was just walking on the trail, earlier...

Huh. Odd kid.

---

The immortal and I swiftly ran away from the area. No reason to stick around and risk a confrontation, I wager. 

Still, I was kinda concerned that the other guy that was in there was gonna bake himself, so when I made the holes to retrieve the sickles I'd left there, I peeked through to make sure things were okay. Fortunately, it seemed that leather guy was able to pull him out alright, which was reassuring.

I wonder what they were doing way out here, anyways? Not like anyone else is gonna come down this path. Except maybe those adventurey types, heading to that dungeon, but I kinda doubt they'd be great targets, with all their high quality weapons and armor and whatnot.

Anyways, man, I've run into a lot of those bandity types, haven't I? That's my third encounter this week! Assuming the week didn't change over the past few days. I don't actually know. Like, if I came here on a Thursday, it'd be a new week now, right? Wait, should I even assume that this world even uses weeks? Well, S did mention 'a week' earlier, so they probably...

...

S... I hope he doesn't stay out too long... 

...

"Y'know," The immortal said, interrupting my melancholy, "you probably could've just used your 'pseudo teleportation' to warp us there, right? 'Cus you saw it from above earlier, when I mentioned that they look like dog bowls." 

"Oh, yeah." I said. "Huh." That's true, isn't it? 

...

Huh. So, that was entirely...

Huh. 

...

I put my hands together, and created a hole a ways above the pond in the hills, and looked for a spot I could drop us.