A rather bored guard stood in front of town by himself for a while. 

It was a rare occasion that he was separated from his sister. He didn't like it much, either. Neither did she, he could tell. But, in this case, it was necessary.

The captain was currently preoccupied, after Charolette, local genius prodigy/total lunatic ran out from behind her house in absolute hysterics, her face lightly drizzled with tears, and her voice quivering and all that. Apparently, Zramazos, local milquetoast coward, had gotten himself into a confrontation with one of the invaders, who seemingly disappeared soon after, and got his rear handed to him.

Now, obviously, it wasn't good that Zramazos was hurt, but it was nice to receive confirmation that, indeed, things were going down today. 

It was uncharacteristic of Charolette to show any emotion that wasn't childlike curiosity and joy, let alone something this strong, so even the guards took this whole ordeal pretty seriously. 

The captain rushed out by himself pretty quick. The guards realized that, with the invaders out and about, it probably wouldn't be wise to leave the captain alone and vulnerable. Normally he could more than handle himself, but he would be preoccupied with the healing, leaving him open to a surprise attack, they figured. 

Charolette was clearly in no state to be able to reliably give watch, so the guards elected to split up for the moment. (Of course, one had to stay back and keep watch of the town itself, too.) 

They decided it'd be wisest to send the sister out with the captain, as they both figured that Zramazos might heal better if he was surrounded by women. And this logic made sense to them, somehow. 

So, the man stood alone with his spear, keeping watch around town, and staring out onto the vast, open fields. Though, he was rather bored, being apart from his sister, so he didn't really give it his all. 

At least they should be done soon, he figured. The captain was pretty good at healing, after all. 

His eyes wandered over to the red box thingy next to the inn.

'Wonder how that got there.' He thought. Not exactly feeling the most creative at the moment.

. . .

His eyes continued to wander.

'Oh, hey. Footprints. Don't think those were there a minute ago. That's weird. Especially considering nobody's been there. Seem to head behind the church. Cool.'

. . .

'Oh, wait, I should probably check that out, shouldn't I?'

Before he moved, he stopped for a moment, and listened. 

Then, he moved. He followed the footprints behind the church. To his surprise, there wasn't anything there. But, if that were the case, then what left the footprints? He looked around for a while but ultimately found nothing. After a moment, he turned back around.

'Huh. That's odd. Oh well, false alar-' 

He felt something pressed hard against the back of his helmet.

"Shut up. Stand still. Answer my questions." An unfamiliar, rather short voice came from behind. 

'Never mind, alarm indeed. Swing wide.' 

He kept his spear on the ground and raised his free hand in surrender. Felt like it was a wand being pressed against him. While he was confident in the protective abilities of his helmet, he figured there's no reason to risk it. 

"Kay." "you" "know?" The guard said. 

"Pardon?"

"What" "you" "to"

"What? Speak up."

"Hold."

"I won't hesitate to hurt you." The man explained.

"5"

"What?"

"3"

"You have until-"

"1"

"Wh-"

"0." Said the other guard, flanking from the other side of the church, her spear drawn at the head of the invader, creating a proverbial of guard-invader sandwich.

The guard took a good look at the invader in front of her. The man was on the shorter side, and clad head to toe in a thick leather coat, even his hood flipped up, his face covered by a mask and large, dark, eye obscuring goggles, and his feet themselves covered in long and thick black rubber boots. There wasn't a single molecule of exposed flesh on his body. This seemed to be quite an odd getup, considering it was a bright, sunny day, and not in the middle of a frozen tundra.

The man stood still, stunned for a moment at the things that just transpired.

"Hold on. Need a moment to process that." 

"Don't" "think" "about" "it" "too" "hard." "Point" "is," "you've" "been" "duped." The guards suggested.

"I disagree." The man said. 

To the guard's surprise, the man abruptly began to shrink somehow. He didn't crouch, he simply got smaller, his legs seemed to contract into themselves. As he did, he pulled his wand away from the guard, and raised it up in the air, as a blinding flash emanated from it, briefly stunning both guards.

"Ah," "geez." The guards said, making a vain attempt to cover their eyes.

After a moment, the both of them felt something against their heads. The man stood slightly underneath them, raising 2 wands to their heads, this time. 

"I don't want to kill you. Will if I need to. Just want information. Don't make this difficult." 

"Huh." "Cool." The guards always respected a smooth move, though they'd much prefer not to be on the receiving end of it. 

. . .

"Talk."

"About" "what?"

"Uh... Anything."

"We" "ate" "breaded" "chicken" "for" "breakfast-"

"No, not-"

"Leftovers" "from" "yesterday's" "dinner." The guards explained. 

"Don't care."

"Then" "be" "more" "specific."

"Uhm... Ah...  What would a power hungry, homicidal lunatic want?"   

"Do" "we" "look" "like" "philosophers" "to" "you?"

"No. In town. What would they want here?"

"Oh." "That's" "a" "much" "better" "question."

"Answer it."

"Uh..." Both guards 'uh'd in unison. "Dunno." "Maybe" "something" "in" "Charolette's" "place." 

"Which one's that?"

"The" "big" "one." 

"I see. There next. Now, time to-" The tips of the wands the man was holding began to glow, ever so slightly.

"We" "wouldn't" "go" "there" "right" "now" "if" "we" "were" "you," "though."

The wands returned to their normal state. "Why?" The man asked.

"Because" "he's" "there."

"Who?"

"The captain." They said in unison. "Actually," "they" "should" "be" "about" "done" "by" "now-"

As if on cue, a great and terrible crashing could be heard from the other side of the church, from the town proper.

Thud, thud, thud, and so on and so forth.

The man said nothing, simply stood still, and listened.

Next came the sound of a mace being dragged against the dirt ground.

The man continued to listen. Perfectly still.

Next came the sound of crashing thunder, and a bright, almost blinding light coming from just around the corner.

The man stood ever still.

And then, it turned the corner.

A veritable steel behemoth seemingly appeared down from the heavens themselves, with a mace in one hand which sparked and glowed with bright white and yellow lightning, and in the other hand a tall tower shield, large enough to cover the invader's entire body. The behemoth looked down at him from the dark slits in his tall, cubic helmet, the only sign of life emanating from that darkness were two piercing eyes of bright, shining gold, peering down at the man with the righteous wrath of a zealot.

The man, immediately upon seeing this, dropped both his wands and raised his hands. 

"I Surrender." He said, simply.

The steel behemoth stopped. His eyes seemed to dim a little.

. . .

"A wise choice." The voice of an old man emanated from the behemoth. 

"Awww," The guards said in unison. "Seriously?" "Just" "like" "that?" 

"I'm no fool." The man explained. 

"I" "mean," "yeah," "but-"

"Quit your bickering and detain him."

"Yes, captain." "Should" "we" "take" "them" "to" "the" "guardhouse?" 

"I'm not- No. The elders are sleeping. Bring them inside." He said, gesturing at the church, before looking down at the invader, "I have some questions for you." 

"Reasonable."

The man went inside the church with them with absolutely 0 resistance. He even left his wands outside and made no move to pick them up. The guards found all of this rather disappointing. They'd hoped they'd get rewarded with a satisfying beatdown after all their stalling, but somethings just aren't meant to be.

'We're not very good guards, are we?'

'No, we are not.'

. . .

'Lol.'

'Lol.'