"Where are we headed, again?" I asked as we walked through town.

"Right, the thing's being held at the local arena. I think it's just this way." S explained.

"'The local arena?' Is that a common thing?"

S shrugged. "Eh. Relatively. I mean, you wouldn't see one somewhere like Basenholm, but they're around." 

"Huh."

It didn't take us long to get there, mostly we just followed the flow of traffic, 'cus basically everyone was heading to the same place. Except for all the people who were taking advantage of the surprise sale on imported artisanal cheese that seemingly popped up out of nowhere. To be honest, I think at least a quarter of the line dipped for the sake of cheese. I wanted to. Don't even know where it's from, or what 'artisanal' means, but that combination of words just makes me want to throw my money directly at anyone with anything vaguely resembling food. 

To be honest, I wish I did. Man, I'm gonna be thinking about this all week. 

Regardless of any dairy related regrets, we made our way to the arena, handed over our tickets, and sat down to watch the sportsmanlike violence. Probably should have bought snacks before sitting down. But we didn't. Guess we'll have to get them later. Neat.

. . .

I wonder if there'll be any cheese left at that place by the time we get hungry? Think they'll let me walk back in if I- Oooooh, wait a minute, I can teleport. Man, being exempt from the rules with 0 accountability ROCKS. 

The arena itself was... Pretty disappointing, actually. It wasn't nearly as big as the Colosseum in Rome, which just feels lazy, if I'm honest. I mean, they got magic over here! Surely they ought to be at least as good as the old schmucks back in my old stomping grounds, right?!

I will, however, give them partial credit. It was quite the experience seeing something like this in its prime, not old and... Old. People sitting and chatting away in the seats, eagerly awaiting the time when they'll watch the contenders fight it out in the pit below, it really is a nice experience. Though, it does lose some of the majesty that naturally comes from looking at a piece of history.

Well, not that I actually ever saw the colosseum in person or anything, but... Well, I've seen pictures of it, okay?

A-anyways, I was able to get a good look at the whole thing because Sis vehemently insisted that we sit on the top row, as far away from the actual combat as possible. To my surprise, S was actually totally on board with this. I sort of figured he'd want to sit up as close to the action as possible.

However, "Right, I figure that's the best place to sit, too. Get a better view of the whole thing, plus there's less people around." S said. 

"Oh yeah. I didn't think about the lower amount of people." Sis said. "That's good. Strangers are dangerous."

I guess she's still a bit spooked from that time a few days ago, what with the invasion and that crazy explodey-guy. I can hardly blame her, to be honest. She hasn't really interacted with anyone of than us much since then, save for our occasional chats with the townsfolk and the very brief interactions with people at stores and restaurants. 

Speaking of which... S still hasn't gone back to Starsford yet. I've tried asking about it a couple times, but every time I'm greeted with a distant look and some variation of the phrase "I'm still thinking about things... I'll be there soon, though. I swear"

To be honest, it kind of worries me. I've already broken my promise to the innkeeper lady to bring him back there as soon as I could, and I'd hate for that to cause her to worry... 

I hope S starts thinking faster. Maybe I oughta buy him some peppermints. My old elementary teachers used to do that. Did that ever actually help? Is there science behind mint and focus? Or did they just want an excuse to buy candy? That's totally fair, if that's the case. 

At any rate, we sat down, and, eventually, the games begun. Or at least the announcements did.

"GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY HERE IN THE REGIONAL CAPITAL, I'M YOUR HOST, GREGOR THE AUDAICOUS!" Out came a booming, slightly muffled voice from... Somewhere?

His line was met by a thunderous applause and general hooting and/or hollering, but I was more concerned by the fact that he said "The Regional Capital." Does this city not have a name, or something? What, did they just forget? There's no way that's the case, right?

"IT IS MY GREAT PLEASURE TO ONCE AGAIN WELCOME ALL OF YOU TO LE'S 50TH ANNUAL SWORDSMANSHIP TOURNAMENT!"

The man paused, which was followed by raucous laughter from the crowd. I also laughed.

"Why are we laughing?" I asked S, who was also laughing.

"Right, I haven't the faintest idea."

. . .

wait a second.

"Did he just say 'le 50th?" Sis and I asked in unison. Though Sis added some vulgarity in her version, as she was clearly quite taken aback.

"Uh... Right?" S said confusedly. 

"Le?"  

"Right, obviously. What are you on about? That's where we are."

"What? Where?"

"The country, obviously?" S said. "Man, just how sheltered were you guys? What, did you grow up in the void?"

"So... Right now, we're in... Le kingdom? As in, one could reasonably say the phrase, 'Me, in le kingdom?"

"Uh... Yeah? Or Kingdom of Le, or whatever."

I was left speechless. I kinda just stared at him with my mouth agape.

Sis cringed intensely, even to the point of pinching her forehead like a cartoon. "Ffffffffff*ckin... Le Kingdom... That's so f*cking stupid..." She said in a pained whisper. 

"Seriously, what are you guys on about?" S asked.

"There's this... It's... Sorry, I couldn't even begin to explain it."

"... Riiiighhht..."

. . .

. . .

"Wait, why do you know more about my world's old internet meme culture than the common knowledge of this world?" I asked.

"That's a damn good question." Sis replied. Guess she's not done with the vulgarity.

"What the hell do any of those words mean?" S asked, because I guess I forgot to whisper.

"Uh... I... Uh..."

. . .

. . .

Man, everyone sure is taking their sweet time laughing, aren't they?