"Right, think armor guy's about to ask something he shouldn't." S said as soon as we closed the hole behind us and we were once again in the carriage. Hey, he came up with the same name I did. Cool. Granted, it's not exactly the most original name ever, but, y'know, still.
"Huh? Wha?" I said, not really mentally prepared for him to drop something like that.
"Think he latched on to something Todd said. Probably grilling him now. I don't think he's too suspicious, but knowing Todd..."
"Is that bad? Should we go stop him?" I asked as we stepped off the cart and moved towards the horses, I guess to make sure they weren't being eaten, or something.
"Nah, then he'll just get more suspicious. It'll probably be fine, anyway. Talking to Todd's not all that different from talking to a tree, you'd have to have the patience of a saint to get anything out of that guy."
Saints exist in this world? Well, I guess it could mean something kinda different over here. Noting this. "Well... He does live in a church."
"Right...."
"I wouldn't worry about it. Even if he does get something he shouldn't and makes some stupid decision, there's no amount of fancy armor in the world that'll save him from me." Sis said with a shrug, very matter-of-factly.
"Speaking of, who just walks around wearing that crap?" S said, giving me not nearly enough time to be properly unnerved by what Sis just said. "What a dick."
"That's not very nice." I said. Also, vulgar. "He's a pretty alright guy, I think." He's been nice enough the couple times I've talked to him. Likes his town, at least. I dunno, maybe I'm just biased towards him 'cus he's a holy-y dude.
"I dunno, I don't like the way he talks, like he's somehow got some stupid authority over people. Seems like the type of guy that'd call the guards on some urchin kid for stealing a piece of fruit."
That's quite the specific cliché fantasy for a guy you've met once, ever. "In fairness, he does walk around armed to the teeth in a suit made of steel. Doesn't get much authoritative than that." I quipped.
"Right, he probably thinks so." S said with a sarcastic chuckle.
It wasn't long until we were standing near-ish to the horses, who were distinctly not eaten or otherwise dead, mostly just standing there and huffing to themselves. We ended up standing a fair distance away from them 'cus they smelled real bad.
Somehow, the spot I ended up standing in was a little moist for some reason, and my shoes got a little wet. Not the end of the world, but I took care to ensure nothing got on the suit.
"Right, y'know, I've always found horses creepy." S said, clenching his fists and looking almost longingly into the pair of horses in front of the cart.
"Don't." I suggested.
"I won't. I won't..." He said, though I didn't much like the look in his eyes. "Just, y'know, their heads and eyes aren't right. And their heads are just gross. I don't like looking at 'em. Plus, they're just so big, it's weird."
"Yeah, that's fair." I said. I guess I've never really seen one in real life before. They are kinda weird. Though, I'm mostly preoccupied with the smell.
"Horses suck." Sis said, with a surprising amount of wrath in her voice. "They look stupid. So... Pompous. And violent. And loud. Stupid huffing. And they eat dumb. Stupid."
"That's not very nice." I said again, feeling kinda sorry for the horses. It was fortunate that they were even more apathetic than Sis usually was, as they just huffed and kept staring off into the distance. Huh, their eyes are kinda creepy. Kinda like Todd's eyes. I wonder if that's anything?
"It's true. Stupid animal."
Where's this coming from? "C'mon, they-" I began as I turned over to Sis, I guess growing tired of staring at the horses or something.
And, I'm not really sure for how long, but she was staring down at my leg. Again.
Ah. Guess they reminded her of...
. . . I forgot what I was going to say.
So instead I said "Sorry."
"For what?" Sis asked in her usual tone.
I found that question pretty hard to answer.
. . -
"Right. Think it's gonna rain tomorrow." Said S.
"How's that? It's barely cloudy." Sis asked.
"Smelled it earlier. Might even be a storm."
"Weird."
"Is that a thing you can usually do?" I asked, blinking hard a few times and bringing myself back to reality.
"Right, no, actually." S began, tilting his gaze towards the clouds. "Well, when it's close I can, sometimes. But never this far out."
"Why'd you get the feeling this time?"
"Weird story, actually. When I was up fighting over here with Todd, one of the guys did some weird magic thingy, and suddenly I could sense even more than usual. Was kinda freaky, honestly."
Oh, shoot, I totally forgot S was also in a scrape earlier. "Y-you're not hurt at all, are you?" I asked.
"Nah, I'm good. Guy I fought wasn't anything special. I'd have much rather fought the skeleton guy, but he was insistent on fighting Todd. Anyway, my guy clearly had some experience, and he knew how to take a hit, but it was clear he'd never been trained in how to properly use that sword of his. Plus, I could kinda smell where he was gonna move. Again, creepy."
"Huh. So, was that when you... Smelled the rain?" I think I've heard about people doing that. Probably.
"Right. Still not really sure why that happened."
"What was the guy's magic thing like?"
"Some weird steam, or something. But thicker and heavier. Looked like some pretty advanced stuff. Shame it wasn't at all useful for combat. At least, not against me."
"Maybe that, like, cleared up your sinuses, or something. Normal steam does that, maybe this did it... More."
S shrugged. "Right, that'd make sense, kinda. Speaking of smells, that skeleton guy that Todd fought kinda smelled like you. Though, I like your scent a lot more."
"Uh, thanks. I think." I said. I wasn't quite sure whether or not to be flattered about being ranked above a literal corpse. Regardless, it didn't stop my face from burning up.
"Speaking of Todd, what was he like?" Sis asked.
"Right, not sure. Was hard to see, and I was a little busy at the time."
"Ah. I see." Sis said, disappointedly.
"Right, what's got you so interested in Todd, anyway? His eyes remind you of a fish or something?" S joked.
"A bit." Sis said. That's probably a compliment, coming from her. "But I'm not just the best interdimensional fisherman in existence."
"Best what now?"
"I'm also a kick-a*s engineer." Sis continued, paying no mind to S's question. "His body and his inability to feel pain intrigues me."
"He's not a robot, y'know." I said. "Probably." You never know, right?
"Eh. Mortals, machines, it's all the same to me." Sis concluded with another nonchalant shrug.
"Right. I find your sincerity very disturbing." S said.
"That's fair."
Huh. Freaky.
Am I a bad influence on her?
. . .
"Y'know, we should probably check on Todd." S said.
"Oh, shoot." I said, rushing my hands together.
okay. I've been noticing some discrepancies in your writing lately.
it's like the pacing and conversation of the characters fell flat.
is something wrong? are you feeling well? or are you just tired?
ah. that's not good to hear. That being said, your criticisms are reasonable.
I don't have a concrete answer, unfortunately. I don't necessarily feel any different, but if I had to guess it's probably consequential of how I'm writing this story.
Basically, I sit down and write every day until I arbitrarily decide to stop, mostly as a way to consistently practice and hopefully progressively getting better. It's good in theory, but the problem is, a lot of what I write like this ends up kinda 'eh.' Which is probably also why the pacing for this story is really slow, it makes it easier to write on a daily basis 'cus I don't need to constantly have new ideas. Maybe my philosophy is starting to show its cracks as my improvisation skills begin to wane.
But there could be more to it than that. My life has changed a good deal over these past few months, and I'm under a lot more stress than I'm used to. Maybe that's inversely affecting my writing. Again, I don't necessarily feel much different when I actually sit down to write, but that is another possible factor.
Or maybe it's just that I'm subconsciously getting tired of this story. It has been well over a year at this point, after all. Maybe the readers are getting bored, too.
I've mentioned before that this story is nearing the end of an 'Act 1' of sorts. I've considered giving the story a rest once I hit that point, and maybe spending time working on other projects instead.
This wouldn't be an ending, there's too much that will be left unexplored for me to give an ending in good faith, but a rest. Not necessarily because I'm getting bored or anything, but mostly just because I just don't really have many ideas for what happens beyond that point. Maybe an extended break could be beneficial, giving me (as well as the readers) a chance to look at things with fresh eyes and new ideas.
This isn't a declaration, just sharing my thoughts for the sake of transparency. Even if I do decide to go down this road, it's still gonna take several months until this story reaches that point. Probably.
Sorry I couldn't offer a better explanation. If a concrete answer existed I'd be happy to share it, but I just don't really know.
If you decide to stop reading my story, whether it be for a short while or for an eternity, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest, nor would I think less of you as a person. If it stops being fun for you, then feel free to stop at any time. I fully understand.
That being said, thank you very much for all the comments, and thank you for your time.
@Yminnod Dude, can't you even tell when someone loves you?
When I first started commenting on your story I told you that you had a fan for life. Someone who is your fan for life won't stop reading your works just because the story got boring. Just what do you think my dedication is? I read this story, not because of the story itself but because I genuinely enjoy your thoughts and what your mind creates. I genuinely admire someone who has the discipline and passion to not only create a world but also to develop it. A far cry from me who is too lazy to make a new chapter on a story he started a year ago. I won't stop reading this story unless one of us dies or unless you decide to end it yourself. And even then ill still read whatever you put out regardless of whether it's good or bad because that is what I have chosen to do.
look the main thing is I'm your fan because I enjoy what your horribly twisted mind can create. so when I see you are not writing as you used to it tells me that something is not right with you. I don't know what it is and I don't know if I can fix it even if you tell me. You don't know either and I don't expect you to. But as your fan, I still have to ask.
Bro, you good?
I don't want you to write the story if it drains you mentally. from the looks of the last few chapters that is exactly what is going on. You feel like you don't know what is going on but in truth, you are running out of gas. This and whatever is going on in your life are taxing. I get that, I almost died. I know how it feels to feel tired of thinking about others. So when you are down on your last brain cells and want a break, take a long one. I'll be here waiting if you need to talk.
Thank you for your time,
Kisses.
@otakusociety First and foremost, thank you for the kind words. They really do mean a lot to me. Thank you ever so much for your support.
I feel that it's most important to say that I am doing alright. Good, by most standards. I mentioned that I'm stressed, but that's just stress as a result from change and workload. It's a very human stress. It's not anything super detrimental, just more than I'm used to. Writing is still largely fun (though, I do find myself getting distracted more and more often as of late), and things are still mostly nice. I am doing basically well.
As for breaks and story quality and such, while I very much appreciate the concern and in many ways think what you're saying might be true, for the time being, I think I'm going to keep beating my head against the wall. Because, and forgive me if this is a cop-out answer, I think I need to. I'm sure I'd still be happy if I stopped, even it meant I stopped forever, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't want that to happen. I want to keep writing, and I want to know what happens. Though, I'm not sure what that means.
That being said, I am not immune to taking breaks. As the holidays begin rolling in, I'm certainly going to be spending much less time writing. Especially around Christmas, where I intend to stop entirely for a week or two, just like last year. And, if workload gets to be too much, I'm perfectly content putting this on the backburner, and getting out maybe one or two chapters a week.
In summary, I'm doing well. Things will continue like they are for a bit. Until they don't. And then they probably will again. And then something else might happen. Hopefully, throughout it all, I'll work myself out of whatever slump I'm in, or maybe something else will happen. And hopefully that'll be good, too.
Thank you again very much for your time.