I closed the door. This is the duke's problem, not mine. I could literally warp from anywhere. This is a restricted area, it's not like any of those other rooms are gonna be full, right? Heck, why not right here? Sure, someone could come down the hallway and catch a glimpse of me, but the chances of that are-

Of course, the door started to open. 

Should I just go now? If I just slam my hands together now, I could just leave. Who cares if she sees? That'd just make it her, and everyone else I know. Nothing matters, it's fine! Why don't I...

No. I can't. It's already too many people. There's too much at stake here. Which is to say, my image. Sure, half the people I know already know about my powers, but that just means I need to meet more people! I will achieve mystique! 

And to do that, I will interact with the pink woman!

. . . I could also just run away. Yeah, let's do that.

Running! I've never been too good with running, but I figured I could just imitate something I saw on TV and I'd probably be fine.

The plan is as follows: Can't risk stopping to go into some room and warping from one of them. I can't remember if the doors are push or pull, I'd get it wrong 100%, I'd get got for sure. Instead, I'm just gonna keep running until we're able to turn that corner over there. The instant I do, boom. Like a ghost. Mwah. Mysterious, cunning, visually striking, it's everything I've ever wanted. The stuff of dreams.  

And for a few seconds, I thought that dream was gonna become a reality. Unfortunately, it was quickly shattered as it was hard not to notice the fact that she was rapidly gaining on me as we passed by the immaculately clean windows that may as well have been mirrors with desktop backgrounds.

Man, this chick is fast. Her feet almost looked almost like a blur in the reflection. Which was extra wild 'cus her footsteps seemed to make very little noise, as if she were walking delicately. She also smelled like toothpaste. I don't know whether or not that's related.

Fortunately, this is something I can deal with! I am a man with versatile talents! Gonna do something smart again!

I peered into the mirror-windows, and quickly yet subtly pressed my hands together. So long as I can visualize kind of how fast she's running, I should be able to put the other hole next to her. And if I position them correctly, I should be able to slow her down rather easily! All I gotta do is tickle her!

Tickle her... Hm. That's... Y'know, now that I'm actually about to do it, it feels a little perverse, doesn't it? Is it because of the skin tight suit? Or is this just a lot weirder than I gave it credit for... Why didn't I just trip-

Aaaaaannnnd she's grabbed my shoulder. That's what I get for second guessing myself. 

I probably could have struggled or tried to keep running, but it felt like a lost cause at that point. Plus, it didn't seem like she was directly hostile. Not yet, anyway. I really didn't want that to change. So, instead, I just tilted my head up at her, and thought about what to do next.

This is turning out to be one heck of a piss.

"Yo." I spoke first as she looked down at me with a slightly devilish smile and immense look of curiosity while kinda pressing me down into the carpet. 

"Uhuh..." She said, somewhere between a whisper and normal, polite conversation. "I feel like I know you from somewhere."

Hard to forget a mug like this, huh? Yeah, I know what she's talking about.

"Basenholm." I stated. If memory serves, she was in the stands during the fight. 

"Yeah, that was it!" She said. "Hard to forget a face like yours."

Told you.

 "What's a small town freak like weirdo like you doing at a fancy-a*s soiree with the duke?" She asked. As unfortunate as this timing was, I had a hard time blaming her for her curiosity. 

"Uh... N-nothin'. He, uh, owed me a favor." I said, trying to sound cool and mysterious. 

"That so?" She said, dryly. "How's something like that happen?"

"Wh-what about you? Why're you here?" I said, trying be evasive as I could as I attempted to discern whether or not I should pull my sickles out of the air.

"Nabbing that's shiny and not nailed down." She casually explained. "Of course I'd lose my pliers today of all days..." 

"Y-You're very, uhm, forthcoming with that information." 

"Figured it was pretty obvious." She said, gesturing to her skin tight black suit. Yeah, not exactly party wear. Also not something you should be wearing around children. "Plus, the guards probably already know I'm here. Well, me and the dozen other weirdos with the same idea. Maybe 2 of which actually got in." 

"Then, sh-shouldn't you be doing... Anything else right now?" I asked, realizing the guard up front has probably figured out that I'm not actually taking a piss right now. If I'm lucky, perhaps he just thinks it evolved into a turd.

"I'm not too worried about it. Duke's so nuts about his kid he's got half the guard just on her." She explained with a confident laugh.

"That can't be true." I was literally in the room with her not even a minute ago, there wasn't a single guard there. Unless the duke hired ninjas. In which case, bravo.

"You clearly don't know the duke very well. Wherever the hell she is, she's got a small army surrounding her. Which means there aren't many 'round here." She laughed once more. She's far too confident for that to just be wishful thinking. Which is concerning, because it means that one of us is blatantly wrong. "But you didn't answer my question before. How'd you get in with the duke?"

"Uh, wh-why do you want to know?" 

"Good question. Directionless, bored. Plus, you remind me of someone a friend of mine used to talk about. Now your turn."

Who? Why? Gah, I wonder if I'll ever be confident enough to be this forward talking to strangers. "I-I helped him. Out of a jam." Evasive! I gotta get out of this before she squeezes too much into outa me. To be honest, this chick scares the crap out of me and I'm afraid she'll do something if she sees me move too much. Hmm... The holes from earlier are still open, right?  

"C'mon, kid, I want details!" Why?! Why not go and fill you bag up with more golden candelabras or whatever the heck it is you're here for!?

Let's see... Alright, carriage is just over there... Ah, where did I put those again? "Er, i-it was a dark alley."  I put them by the sickles, right? "Except it was a-actually pretty bright." Sure hope so, otherwise I'm about to look really stupid. "'C-cus it was the middle of the day."

"Get on with it." She said, clearly getting fed up with my stalling. Fine with me, 'cus I'm about to do something smart AGAIN! For real this time! Here goes!

First, a one liner. "S-say... You smell of mint, don't you?"

Ahk. Okay, I'll admit, not my best wor- Whyyyyyyyyyyy is she blushing?

"H-huh? A-are you saying I smell good?" She said, tightening her grip on my shoulders, seemingly flustered for some reason. What?!? Why are you flattered by that?! Weird! Weirdo! This is a weird chick! Weird person!

"Uh, wh- it- I mean, uhm, let me help you with that... Y'know what, just ask your friend with the knives, I was way cooler with him." Oooh, that's probably the guy she heard from! Yeah, that makes sense.

Anyways, reality began to blur in front of me as a blue can of spray-y stuff materialized out of thin air and fell perfectly into my mind. 

"Ah- What th-"

The next moment, our world was nothing more than a blinding flash of baby blue and the smell of soap. 

Before she could even finish her thought, I fell into the forest just outside the super-mansion, which is the term I've decided to use for this place.

"And the master of darkness escapes without a trace." I said to myself as the hole closed.

"To be, anyway." I added, again, to myself once the hole disappeared.

A little brown squirrel across from me looked up at me funny. 

"Oh, what do you know?" I angrily asked the rodent. 

They said nothing. 

. . . 

Whatever. 

I gotta get over to that guard, quick. And I gotta contact Sis ASAP. As I jogged my way over to the front door, I quickly slammed my hands together. This whole thing took far longer than expected, I really hope I didn't worry her.

I opened the hole in the room, and I started talking before I even got to her ear as if to rehearse my apology. "S-Sis, I'm so sorry, I-" 

Unfortunately, her ear wasn't anywhere to be seen. The first thing I saw was the door swung open. The second was Amelia, alone, looking a little scared and sad.

"BRO?" Yelling from beyond the door blasted through the hole and into my face. "WHERE THE HELL-"

I take it Sis looked over to the right first, given that she was able to get all that out before, I presume, she turned and saw a pink haired, mint smelling, now very clean woman. Whom she was now, probably... Hoooh boy... 

I couldn't help but stop and sigh, just for a moment.

The door had just opened. If I had been just a little faster, we could have avoided this.

F*ck that squirrel. 

Fuck that squirrel.