The next morning, when my eyes flew open, I found myself alone in bed. Fenris was nowhere to be seen, even though his warmth still radiated from my skin. Shade laid in her usual spot. I wondered if everything that had happened was a dream, but I quickly realized it was not. The soreness of my body was enough to tell me what I experienced was very much real. It felt like I had been through a thorough workout that I had never once done in my life.

Not only that, but down there it felt weird, sticky, and I needed to shower. Glancing to my side of the bed, the assignment I was supposed to have done yesterday was on the floor. Tania was going to scold me again. Releasing a sigh, I got up from the bed, only to meet the floor as my legs gave out. My fall frightened Shade, who jumped down from her tower to check on me.

"I am alright," I reassured Shade with a smile, realizing I was utterly bare.

There were dark kiss marks on my chest, abdomen, and thighs. Memories of yesterday rushed through my mind as Fenris left me with little doubt about what had happened to me. He had made sure there was no way I could believe my moments with him were a dream. However, the moment I glanced at the clock to check the time; it was all the motivation I had to get through the soreness of my body. I was late for my lesson with Tania.

Shivers ran down my spine upon noticing how late I was. I rushed to the bathroom to shower and dress quicker than lightning. Tania never hurt me physically, but her glare was enough to make me crumble where I stood. Especially her silent treatments were the worst. Shade jumped on my shoulder before I rushed out of the room. In my rush I stumbled onto a white-haired female Lycan I had never seen before, accompanied by Amelia, who instantly scowled at me. She hated me.

"Woah, are you alright?” The girl grabbed onto my shoulder, worried I hurt myself when I crashed into her.

She was a brick wall that barely moved because of the collision. For a moment, our orbs met only for hers to shift towards the door. She seemed utterly confused.

“Wait a minute, isn't this Fenris's room?" She asked, turning to Amelia.

"Yes, it is. Layla, that is his charge," Amelia informed, annoyed at having seen me.

If it were up to her, she would have locked me up in a basement. Her response left Layla surprised.

"A charge is living with him... For how long?" Layla continued to query, not knowing a thing about me or what Fenris's current situation was.

"For the rest of his or her life. Whichever ends first." Amelia answered blankly.

Layla's eyes twitched in response. It seemed the news did not please her.

"Ah... I see. How long has it been like this?" Layla tried to hide her disdain for the idea of Fenris living with a female.

Her hands denied me the passage to leave. I already did not feel welcomed here. The desire to leave grew faster than I realized. It was best to go before anything else happened.

"Five years." Amelia continued to inform Layla, much to her dismay. She had heard none of this until now.

"I was never told about this," Layla complained, feeling overwhelmed by the news.

Amelia shrugged in response.

"Ben thinks it is better if fewer people know about their situation," Amelia added.

Layla nodded, realizing there was more to it than she thought.

"I see. You must be a high-risk target to be under my future husband's protection for life. Well, I hope we can get along." Layla smiled gently, leaving me in utter heartbreak.

‘Future husband...? What...?’

The bracelet, however, prevented me from having a meltdown. Shade tried in vain to push her hands away from my shoulder. Her words reminded me of something Fenris had said last night when he held me in his arms.

'Lilith, no one can know about this.' He whispered into my ear before he swiftly made me forget with his love.

Was it love, or was it lust? There was no reason to lust for me with the body I had. Why would Fenris do this?

‘Ah... Is it to control me?’

Was that why he did not let me tell him I loved him? It had to be.

'Let go of Lilith!' Shade snarled at Layla.

I tried my best to not let the tears run down my cheeks, even though I wanted to weep. Part of me wanted to hide from everyone. Or maybe it would have been better if I disappeared. It should have hurt, but all I felt was hollow inside. I had to act like nothing was wrong, for Fenris's sake. Like I felt nothing from her announcement. Layla was ignorant about who I truly was as she reached to Shade, thinking she was a normal cat, as many others did.

"Aw, who is that little kitty witty," Layla said in a high pitch noise.

It triggered Shade to hiss at her, only for Amelia to pull her back from me, screaming.

"Get away from that monster!" Amelia screeched, her voice echoed throughout the hall, bringing unwanted attention towards me.

Layla, with hands at her chest, stood there, utterly bewildered at Amelia's meltdown. Freed from Layla's grip, I tried to get away only for Fenris to come running from the opposite corner along with Liam. I had not seen him in a while. Following my gaze, Layla finally caught a glance of Fenris. And that was all she needed as she rushed to his side, hugging him where he stood.

"Fenris!!!!" Layla shouted, happy to see him.

He stood there, astonished and overwhelmed by her appearance. My legs refused to move as the scene continued to play out in front of me.

"Layla?!?! What are you doing here?" Fenris questioned.

Liam greeted Layla with a smile before gazing at me. My eyes met with the floor.

"Did Ryker not tell you I was coming?" Layla snuggled into Fenris's chest.

He tried to push her aside.

'Lilith...' Shade caressed my cheek with her head.

My world crumbled. He would never be mine.

"Yes, but not today," Fenris growled, pulling away from Layla, who seemed to be glued to him.

"I guess he wanted to surprise you." Layla smiled at him, ignoring his demeanor.

I wished I could smile at him as she did.

"I guess Ryker succeeded to surprise me. Excuse me, I need to speak with my sister." Fenris's mood soured, continuing to try to pull her off himself.

He turned to Amelia. His kindness would never be for me. My chest felt heavy, even though I was utterly hollow inside. Regaining my legs somewhat, I turned away from them and headed towards where Tania was waiting for me.

Layla grabbed onto my hand, stopping me in my tracks once again. Why couldn't I get away?

"Wait. I do not know your name. If you are my fiancé's charge for life. I at least should know your name." Layla tried to reach me, but she was ignorant.

I had no intentions of being her friend. She seemed to be an airhead. I had let my heart open once again, only for it to be broken yet again. There was no use in feeling anything towards anyone. It was only a matter of time until she knew what I had done to make Layla hate me, too. No one would ever love me. I was an abomination that could not die.

"Lilith..." I muttered, knowing full well that in the future we would be on worse terms than we were now.

"Oh, like the witch in the history books. Your mom must have had some weird sense of naming, huh?" Layla tried to joke to break the ice.

I tried my best to smile at it, even though I did not feel like it. All I wanted to do was cry and be alone. It was my destiny, after all.

"Yes, if you would excuse me, I need to be somewhere right now. Have a good day." I smiled, bowing before leaving towards Tania, who had been waiting for me to show up for more than an hour.

Fenris stayed behind as he spoke to his sister about her outrage scene instead of chasing me down. Not that I expected him to. I was just his charge. When I finally saw Tania, the moment she saw my face, she was concerned about me. I did not know what expression I had, but I felt nothing at that moment thanks to the bracelet keeping my emotions at bay.

Tania did not ask what was wrong. But gave me one of the warmest hugs I ever had. It was surprising. Though she did not forgive me for slacking off. Instead, she gave me more work since I had not finished the first. Thanks to her comfort, I seemed to recover somewhat from the scene that played in front of me earlier. After a day's work of research, she sent me back to the room.

Not wanting to bother her, I left, but I did not want to go back. I did not want to hear what Fenris had to say. Especially after what had happened this morning. Somehow, I had become greedy. I wanted him, yet he was not mine to have. It should have been enough being with him once.

‘It should be enough. It had to be.’

Shade had been strangely quiet, too. Usually, she would have verbally assaulted Fenris for any reason, but she had been silent the whole time. Not knowing where to go, I wandered the building until stumbling to a lone window with a bench underneath it. Sitting on it, I opened my 'grimoire' and drew in it. The beautiful Lycan, Layla. She was the perfect fit for Fenris. I was nothing compared to her. He would enjoy being with her more than he would ever with me.

My pencil snapped in half as I felt the nastiest emotion I had ever felt. It took seconds for it to go away, yet, somehow, I could still feel it inside of me. Growing and unyielding. Envy... Did life even have meaning if he was not in it? Could I live without his touch? Why did he have to touch me?

'Eliminate her.' A whisper began.

Shade got wary, sensing something was off with me.

"No, I... Could never..." I muttered, trying to fight them off only for them to continue.

Once they started, they were relentless.

'If she were not around, Fenris would be yours. Kill her.' They tried to corrupt me.

I tried to shake them off. They could not have what they wanted.

"No!" I screamed, causing people in the distance to stare at me.

Startled by their glances, I ran back towards our room, only to collide with two witches who were coming out of the library. Papers scattered everywhere when I tumbled to the floor with one witch. It was only us in this hall.

"What the fuck! Watch where you are going!" The witch yelled from the floor.

I struggled to grab onto each paper, apologizing for causing this. Instead of accepting my apology, she grabbed onto my arm before pulling tightly enough to damage one of my inhibitors. It was the one responsible for holding my emotions in check.

"The fuck do you think you are? You just ruined my dress!" She yelled at me, angered that the coffee she was holding had splashed all over her dress.

However, all I could do is stare at my arm, where the inhibitor was damaged. I felt a flood of emotions course through me. They were swelling within me like a raging ocean. I tried to get away from the girl that held me. Both of the witches were unaware of the danger I exposed them to. They shoved me to the floor before I could get away.

In response Shade stood between them and me, hissing at them. I felt all the negative emotions again. My chest hurt in ways I had not felt in years. It hurt so much. I... I did not want to hurt anymore. The jealousy was also overwhelming me.

"Please let me go," I begged them.

It would not be long before I lost control. I was a bomb about to go off.

"Oh look, Emma, it is the privileged witch that is getting personal training. She has the famous black familiar." The witch that had stopped my escape pointed out, snickering.

"Oh... That is right Mary. Maybe she can get me a new dress with all that privilege she has. After all, the future headmaster is protecting her. I am sure she is loaded." Emma commented to Mary, surrounding me.

I laid against the wall, trying to run away from them.

"Please..." I pleaded only for Emma to laugh in response.

"Please what?" Taunted Mary as she got closer to me.

"I am sorry... Please let me go." I pleaded for forgiveness, but they were enjoying the moment too much.

These witches hated me. By the lot of them. If I were ever caught by them, this would be a usual occurrence, but they were placing everyone in danger. I was not in control.

"Not good enough. Do you even know how much this dress cost?!?" Emma snarled while Mary stepped forward towards me again.

They did not know.

"Hey maybe she can pay with her familiar," Mary suggested, suddenly grabbing Shade by her collar.

"Yeah, we will take your familiar." Emma retorted.

Mary held Shade, whose short paws could not reach her assailant.

"No, please let her go..." I mumbled, trying to hold back what was surging within me, but it was no use.

‘No more... Please stop.’

Tears ran down my cheeks. I knew I could not bear it any longer. It hurt to hold it in.

"Am sure familiars fetch a good price in the black market for witches," Emma commented to Mary, who laughed in response.

‘Ah... I am at my limit.’

Standing up, the witches eyed me down as I tried for the last time to hold back every swelling emotion I had.

"Stop... Let her go." I stated more firmly.

Mary pushed me against the wall.

"What was that? Are you going to do something about it?" Mary challenged.

It would be her biggest mistake. I lost it as a pulse of energy released from me, shaking the entire building from within. The power went out as a scream erupted from Emma. Her screech brought me back to reality. Mary had become part of the wall décor. While Emma was living torso on the floor, screaming as she bled out.

For a moment, I stood there, shocked at what had happened. Shade climbed onto my back.

'Lily, run!' She yelled.

I obeyed her with a brief hesitation. My legs ran and ran until I reached my haven, the room. It was only the witches and me in that hall, so no one knew that the cause of everything was me. Even as I ran past them, but they would soon find out. I tried to not think too deeply until I made it into the room. Once there, I locked myself in the bathroom, trying to calm myself. I hyperventilated soon after.

My hands trembled when I realized what had just happened. I murdered two people. Getting into the shower, my hands glowed blue. I was barely holding the power that surged through me. Breathing in and out, I tried to keep it in at all costs.

'Lily...' Shade worried.

I turned on the cold water, hoping it would shock me into reason. I had not noticed yet, but I had blood on me as it dripped off, thanks to the cold water that washed over me. Another energy pulse radiated out of me, shaking the building once again. I truly was nothing other than a monster.

It was true what everyone said, and Amelia was right to fear me. This power that went out of control with my emotions made me dangerous. Shade had gotten only slightly bigger. I struggled to keep the gate from opening. The only way was to calm down.

Outside, the alarm flared when someone found what I left of Emma and Mary. Soon it would be over. Shade jumped into the shower with me and cuddled me. Even though she hated the water, she always placed me first. If only things like that would work for me.

I tried to stay calm and not think about anything. Curling up into a ball, my mind filled with negative thoughts. Another pulse of energy shook the building once again. No matter what happened, though, I was determined to remain hidden within the bathroom.

The bracelet given to me by Fenris shined brightly as he tried to find me in the mayhem. It should have made me happy. But I was the cause of the chaos that had erupted. Now all I was to him was a danger. A million thoughts came through my mind, mostly ways of how to end my miserable life. Before I ever hurt Fenris, but that was impossible for me to do without ending his world.

It trapped me in this living realm, even though I did not want to be. Taking another deep breath, I tried something new, something positive. My mind traveled to the day before this new nightmare. When Fenris held me in his arms. Replaying that moment in my mind calmed my chaotic heart.

Remembering Fenris's touch made me feel like the cold water that washed over me was nothing. Would I lose control when he came through those doors? Or would I do something else? Something had to change. I loved him. I wanted him to be mine, yet he would never be. I had to face the fact that was real. Layla popped into my mind once again. She was so nice. A much better fit than I ever would be for Fenris. Envy slowly gripped me again as I pushed it down.

Fenris could do whatever he wanted to me, but in the end, Layla would be the one to be with him. It was how Lycan culture worked. I was foolish to think otherwise. When I tried to profess my feelings to him, I was delirious by his affection. If I accepted that, then I could watch him be happy with someone else. That would have to be enough for me. No, it would be enough. I had to go back to the days when I pushed everything inside and let it happen. Happiness was never meant for me.

When the door was forced open, Fenris's expression of desperation to find me was so present on his face that it touched my heart.

‘Ah... Do not look at me like that or I will misunderstand.’

 Part of me wanted him to stay away from me, but he wasted little time closing the gap and cupping my face in his hands. Before kissing me so deeply that I felt like I could drown in his arms. Shade went into a corner of the shower as Fenris climbed into it with me. He grabbed onto my hand, only to realize the bracelet supposed to keep my emotions in check was damaged.

"I got into an altercation with two witches, and it ripped then I..." I whispered, not wanting to finish.

He shook his head, not wanting to know the details.

"It does not matter," Fenris assured me, kissing me once again.

His tongue caressed mine as he took off my bloodied clothes. Grabbing onto his hand, I stopped him as he glanced at me.

"I am scared. I..." I started only for him to kiss me again.

Unlike before, I felt the fear that the bracelet was holding back, but I was not losing control. No... While I was in his arms I...

"Do not be. I will always be on your side." He reassured me, taking off his shirt and stripping me. 

After we were rid of our clothes, he turned the nob to make the water warmer. My body would shiver at the simplest touch he would give me. A chuckle rose from his lips as he eyed me down.

"What is it?" I mumbled, thinking Fenris was laughing at my body.

By this time, all the chaos that came from me had stopped, but the alarm still flared outside. I was focused on him alone. That was all I had to do. Focus on him and forget the world.

"You are cuter when you are nervous." Fenris purred into my ear, picking me up and placing my back against the wall.

Again... This had to be a dream. I did not disgust him, even though he had such a pretty fiancée. Why did he want to hold me? The only reason I could think of was that he either loved me or wanted to control me. Loving me would be too much to ask yet I...

Grabbing onto his face, I pulled him into a deep kiss. He held me up with one hand, unbuckling his pants with the other. Separating from me, Fenris smirked playfully enjoying this me.

"I will not take it easy on you right now," he warned, eyes full of desire.

I giggled in response. I traced my fingertips on his lips. All I needed to do was focus on him alone. Nothing else mattered.

"You were taking it easy before?" I teased.

In response, he smirked before he pushed himself inside with ease. The motion caused me to yelp a bit at his sudden touch.

"I will show you," Fenris murmured, triggering a mewl to escape my lips before he quickly covered them with his.

My hands tenderly held onto his neck while he made love to me in the bathroom. In the same place, he had found me in distress. Every thrust made me tremble as he reached deeper than ever before. His hands clung to my bum as his movements became rougher with each passing moment. It did not scare him to hurt me this time. Grabbing tightly onto him, my body reached its release as it trembled in his arms. In response, he licked my cheek as my body twitched in ecstasy.

"Did you..." Fenris asked.

I nodded, feeling embarrassed. In response, he chuckled before thrusting himself one more time as he released himself within me. Kissing me one last time, he helped me get clean of any traces of blood before helping me out of the shower. Once we were dried, he went outside first, making sure no one else was in the room. Before allowing me out as the power came back into the building. Before I knew it, I had fallen onto my bed with Fenris on me.

The only thing separating us, towels. Pulling myself up, I kissed him lightly on his lips. He responded by grabbing onto the back of my head to give me a more serious and passionate one. His tongue left me breathless as he peeled the towels from us. Even though we had just done it, he seemed ready for more. I remembered what a girl in the hallway gossiped to one of her friends once when I was headed to Tania.

'Dating a Lycan can be so tiresome! I just cannot keep up with their libido!' She complained to her friend, who just complained of not being able to hang onto anyone instead.

The day before, I stayed awake through it all. I wanted to memorize everything about Fenris. Every nook and cranny he offered. Even if my body felt numb after a while, I would willingly accept all his affection, no matter what the cause of them was. If it was lust, love, or control, it did not matter as long as he touched me. After being exposed to it. I... could not live without it. Even so, I wished he would only be mine.

After another round of Fenris, I felt exhausted, not just because of the physical activity, but the emotional one. It was the first time I could feel all the awful feelings I did not want to experience ever again. Fear, jealousy, anger, and greed... The bracelet was failing to hold them back. I did not know what to do with these emotions that were swelling within me.

If Fenris was around, I would not lose myself to them since he was my light. But what if he were not here? What if... I destroyed his world once again because of these feelings. Closing my eyes, I tried to not think while I laid beside Fenris, who softly caressed my hair. Before I knew it, I drifted off, only to be awakened by Fenris answering his phone.

"Shit! What now?" Fenris cursed before answering his phone.

"Hello?"

"Yes sir, she is here with me."

"She is in control right now."

"Yes, it worked. But, sir..."

"Well, Sir maybe if..."

"Yes... Sir but..."

"No... that is unnecessary. I..." The conversation suddenly finished, leaving Fenris angered, cursing under his breath.

Taking a deep breath to contain the anger that swelled within him, Fenris turned to me. I pretended to be asleep. To wake me up, he gently blew into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. Grabbing onto my ear, I turned to face him as he smiled and informed me to get dressed. They were coming here for me.

The moment Ryker entered the room, Fenris's expression soured as he carried one of those bracelets made from luxorite. A special crystal only found in elven lands. An argument broke between them soon after he arrived. Fenris was determined to keep that crystal away from me, as Ryker argued otherwise. It was not long until Ben arrived only to fight Ryker, too.

Ben... Even though I took so much from him, he defended me with such fury. They had replaced his arm with an artificial one, while sadly he still needed to walk with a cane. Thanks to the injury he had endured during the fall. Their efforts to keep Ryker away made me feel happy, but he was right. I was a monster that needed restraints.

If Fenris was not here, I would have already leveled the building unwillingly. I did not have the confidence to keep myself in control. That was where my fault laid. Standing up from the bed, everyone went silent as they watched me. I walked over to them and offered my hand to Ryker. Fenris grabbed it instead of telling me not to do it. To him, today was proof I could do it without them, but it was the exact opposite. I had just killed two people who did not need to die.

What kept me in control was the unbearable thought of harming Fenris. Something I could not live with. Because if this world would lose him, I would destroy it without a second thought.

‘Ah... I had become like Stella, obsessed. Hazardous. My obsession will be the end of this world, one way or another.’

There was no way for me to be without the inhibitor. Not as I was. Weak, brittle, and easily swayed. No… I could not bear it. These emotions were too much for my heart to contain. Maybe in a couple of years, I could try. But at this moment, I could not. I would not place my light in danger.

These two brothers would be the end of me, though.

"Stand aside, both of you!" Ryker ordered, having had enough insubordination from the two wolves as Fenris had enough of the elf.

"I will not!" Fenris stood his ground, pulling my hand away from Ryker as he turned to him.

"You know very well what will happen if you do not stand aside. Both of you know!" Ryker threatened.

Both Ben and Fenris finally stand down, knowing full well that any more would lead to me being locked up for life. Fenris... Something inside of him was breaking. Something I had not noticed as Ryker grabbed my arm from under my wolf. And replaced the inhibitor that would make me hollow once again if my emotions went out of control. When Ryker stepped away from me, Fenris pulled me into his embrace. He was not happy about how everything had turned out.

After Ben and Ryker left the room, Fenris stripped me of all clothing and made love to me over and over until I lost myself within him. It frustrated him at the little power he had over the decisions that affected me. I did not know that then, though. All I knew was that in this room I could be his. The next day, they had cleaned up the mess and wrote it off as an accident. There had been a camera that had caught until the point where the power went out. They saw how the witches pushed me until I lost it.

Because of that evidence, they wrote it off as a spell gone wrong. Since it had been a provoked event, I received no further reprimanding. However, after that day, Fenris changed once again. This was the final push to make him determined to free me from this chain of command, and the only way to do this was to go up the ranks. No matter the cost.