Chapter 9: Life goes on…
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I might change the inner thoughts from 'this' to this later. Need the motivation.~

After that day, Fenris changed. He turned colder and more calculated. Not just towards me, but everyone around him. However, every day in our room, Fenris would hold me until he was satisfied. Even as the years passed, that never changed. Was it to make me depend on him or something else? I would not know, since he shared very little with me. It was not like he did before, but I knew he was holding something back.

And while outside of this room, he almost completely ignored my existence. If it were to please others or because he was insecure about me, I would not know. But Layla stuck to him like glue, though. Maybe it was to please her, but he also showed very little interest in her. By the time I was twenty-three, I had gotten used to the way things were.

Fenris was being groomed to be the new leader of Cerberus, while I spent my time secretly studying to close the gate within myself. All I wanted was to free Fenris from his servitude to me. Even if my head would roll the moment, the gate was not in me anymore. In fact, I wanted it to roll. Wished it. Sadly, in all these years, I did not get any closer.

The gate had merged with my soul, making it inseparable. And with my limited resources, it made it impossible to even attempt it. Although, I was sure the order itself had its own people trying to get it out of me. Even if it seemed like a dead-end, I refused to give up, for Fenris's sake.

Most of the time I would be at the library. Even though the incident that changed everything for me, happened there all those years ago. The information I needed was on these bookshelves. I just had to find it. They composed the library of millions of different grimoires and research. However, I was unwanted while I was there. Even when I tried to mind my business. I knew it was time to leave when the usual nasty whispers around me erupted into an uproar.

Closing the book I had in front of me, I headed to place it away as Cora, a vampire who had been trying to befriend me for the past half-year, came towards me to surprise me. Instead of having the desired effect she was looking for, I walked away from her as if she had done nothing at all. I tried to not get close to anyone, but she seemed relentless in her efforts to interact with me. No matter how many walls I tried to place between us, she would smash right through them every time. Grabbing onto my arm, she prevented my usual escape.

"Hey wait a minute!" Cora struggled to keep me in her presence.

"I am sorry, but I have to go." I apologized with a smile.

She grunted in response, hating my fake smiles. Too forced, she called them.

"No, Lilith! Don’t do that! Your pretty face does not deserve that." She squealed, tightening her grip on my hand.

I sighed in response. She really never gave up.

"If you are not letting me go, then hurry and tell me what you want. I really am busy." I gave in just a little.

She really was too pushy. Relentless. Why couldn't I be left alone?

"Not fair. You are always busy! When can you spend time with me!" Cora whined.

The sigh train continued. It was no use. She would not let me go.

"Fine, let us just go somewhere else..." I suggested.

The stares of disapproval were stacked on us. Those would be my last words before she squealed, dragging me down the halls. My legs could barely keep up with her. I felt like I was gliding on the floor. Shade struggled to hang on to my dress. We swiftly moved through the building until reaching the entrance. Even though we had been far from the ground floor, we somehow ended up here. For a moment, I hesitated to step outside. I was not allowed to leave the premises unguarded and without permission.

"Cora, I do not know about this." I tried to withdraw my hand from her, but she kept pulling me along.

"It is fine! I have the perfect place in mind too!" She beamed.

Before I knew it, I was outside. It reminded me of that time Fenris pulled me out of the alley and into the sunlight. It had been a while since I had felt the sun on my face. Taking a breath of fresh air, I spotted Fenris, Liam, Ezra, and Owen all sitting at a table, enjoying the sunlight while eating lunch. They had not noticed us, as they were deep into conversation. They were loud, too.

"Ah! Man, I just cannot get a break! These girls break up with me like I am nothing!" Owen complained, face planted onto the table in defeat.

Much to his dismay, his friends laughed at his troubles.

"Maybe it is the fact that you are too laid back and do not clean after yourself. Girls are not maids, you know." Fenris pointed out.

Owen shot back at him. I had not seen him have fun like that in a while.

"Well, excuse me, not all of us are future leaders here! All the Lycan girls love you! Poor Layla will have to chase them all away after the festival!" Owen defended himself.

Fenris seemed to have stuck his nose somewhere he did not want to go into.

"That is right! You must marry her after the blood moon. What are you turning now, twenty-five? Man, how time flies. Have you gotten any action in before Layla ties you down?" Ezra nudged Fenris, catching him off guard.

"W-What are you talking about?" Fenris answered with a question, trying to avoid the topic.

So... He could also stutter when caught by surprise.

"He probably has little time to deal with ladies after all he has to be near his charge at all times." Liam tried to defend Fenris's honor, but Ezra had no off button like always.

The grey wolf wanted a definite answer from his future alpha.

"Fuck that! I want to know how many ladies you have done the deed with." Ezra continued to press on.

Fenris seemed to get uncomfortable with the topic.

"I do not know how that concerns you." Fenris countered with a slight growl, not wanting to say anything about it.

"Man. It makes me feel like you are a virgin. At this rate, you must try it before you get married in a month! Layla is pretty and all, but isn't it boring to have the same over and over?" Ezra pressed on.

Fenris seemed to become flustered by his words.

"Geez, you just will not drop it. I have already. Just leave me alone now." Fenris seemed bothered.

Owen jumped into the conversation. They seemed like such close friends to tease each other like this.

"Oh? With whom? How many??? Man, I had like ten." Owen commented with a sly smirk on his lips.

Liam studied Fenris's reactions.

"It does not matter with who. And just one, if you must know. Just change the topic already." Fenris answered finally, cheeks lightly pink.

Just one... My heart skipped a beat when he said that. Would that mean Fenris was pure when he did it with me? That would mean it was his first time...? I could feel my cheeks wanting to fall off as I tried to soothe my racing heart.

Cora seemed annoyed at the boys, who were being too loud.

"Just one?!?!? Impossible!!!" Ezra snorted.

Fenris glared at him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Fenris seemed to get defensive.

Ezra pointed towards him.

"You need more than just one! Man, you do not know what is good for you! How long have you been with this girl?" Ezra scoffed, triggering Fenris to twitch his eyes.

It was the first time I had seen someone get under his skin this way.

"I only need one! I am not willing to whore myself out like you! And why the hell does that matter how long I have been with my girl? I have held her for nine years and every day I still feel the same for her as I did when I first started! Maybe there is something wrong with you?!?" Fenris snarled at Ezra, getting more flustered with every moment that passed.

My wolf's cheeks seemed red as a tomato when he realized what he had just said. The rest of the boys seemed to be shocked for a minute. However, Liam, as cunning as always, finally spoke up. He had been studying Fenris the entire time.

"Oh? Nine years and you never mentioned it to me? Is this a love triangle I am sensing?" Liam commented calmly, somewhat annoyed that his closest friend had not confided in him about a long-term relationship.

Fenris seemed to lose his cool a bit. Struggling to find his words, he glanced down at the table in defeat. However, Cora was to the rescue, as she had enough of their loud conversation.

"Arg... Men are so nasty. Should we show them how wrong they are with our future love?" Cora suggested.

I stared at her, bewildered, trying to calm my heart over what Fenris had said.

"What?" I mumbled, confused by what she meant.

She suddenly pulled me towards her.

"Hey, men! This is how it is done!" Cora screamed, catching not just the boys' attention, but everyone that was around.

Before pulling me into a kiss, leaving me stunned to my core. After the brief brush of our lips, she swiftly picked me up in her arms.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you are doing?!?!?" Fenris seethed in anger at what he had just witnessed.

A moment later Cora bolted with me, leaving me with little choice but to hold on to her. The speed that she jumped out of there was blinding. Even during the daylight, vampires were just too strong for the average human to do anything about it. However, her stamina drained as she exerted herself more than she would during the night hours. Her white hair, though, shined in the sun as she hopped from one place to another to outrun Fenris, who was right on her tail in his beast form.

"Man, the wolf does not give up, does he? Why does he care so much, anyway?" Cora clicked her tongue.

I held on to her for dear life. Poor Shade clung onto me, not wanting to be blown off by the high speed we were traveling in. I did not know where she was taking me, either. Nor did I know what she wanted. However, it would not take long before I would find out.

She entered the forest before going towards a clearing.

"Phew, we are here," Cora announced, gently setting me down.

I found myself in a flowery meadow, amazed at the colorful sight that laid in front of me. Shade jumped off me, only to disappear within the flowers below. I was in disbelief. Even someone like me could see a pretty scene like this once again. It had been fourteen years since I had stepped outside of the facility without armed guards around me. They never took me to somewhere as nice as this either.

Fenris tried once, but Ryker prohibited it. I thought I could never see sceneries like this anymore, but here I was. I could stare at it the whole day and it would not be enough. The sky above us was so clear that I felt I could fall in it any minute.

"Seems we lost the mutt. Good." Cora celebrated, unaware of her looming doom.

I shook my head, seeing a light glow coming from within my sleeve.

"No... He will find me." I informed her.

She seemed in disbelief.

"Don’t see how. I lost him in the forest." She assured me, knowing little about what Fenris and I were to each other.

Him, my protector and I, his charge. Maybe she knew, but not to the extent that he would go for me.

"Cora... Why did you bring me here?" I asked, staring into the bright blue sky.

Shade hopped like a rabbit between the flowers. In response to my question, Cora tore my sight away from the sky and onto her. She grabbed onto my hands and pulled them into her chest. This vampire was resilient. She just did not give up. For half a year now, she would try to talk to me, and I did not know why. Now she had kissed me, and I had little idea why that had happened.

Mostly everyone avoided me. Especially after the 'accidental spell' when rumors swirled around that I was the cause. A true one in this case.

"Because it looked like you needed to be out of that cage. Every day for the past half-year I have been here, I have seen you do the same routine over and over. I thought you needed a break." Cora pointed out.

I chuckled in response.

‘A break.’

She was out of her mind.

"This is stupid. I am dangerous, Cora. There is a reason they do not want me out." I enjoyed her ignorance to a point.

It was nice to have someone around me who did not know what had happened or hated me for another reason. But her stupidity could cost many of their lives.

"It is unfair. No matter the reason." Cora stated, not letting go of my hands.

It was making me uncomfortable.

"Even if it means thousands die?" I questioned.

She seemed confused by what I had just said.

"You are not capable of that! You are a kind witch that makes plants come to life when no one is watching!" She answered.

I just shook my head in disbelief.

"You have really been watching me, haven't you..." I trailed off, glancing down onto the floor before releasing a sigh.

The crystal that had been controlling my emotions had not activated in years. I forced myself to learn to control how I felt ever since the last incident.

"Yes, I have fallen for you!" Cora declared.

I laughed in return, unable to believe her words. No one could ever love me. That was what I had taught myself. I was okay with it now. Even though Fenris's words earlier made me doubt my resolve. I must have heard him wrong.

"Do not say that. You know nothing of me. I do not deserve your feelings, Cora, or anyone. Please forget about me in that way." I simpered at her, feeling happy for her feelings, but even so.

I would never deserve them. Nor would I respond to them. My heart and soul already belonged to someone else.

"I will not. I will make you fall for me." Cora declared, suddenly grabbing onto my chin, wanting to pull me into another kiss.

A foolish action, as he would never allow that to happen another time. Fenris owned my body and soul, after all. In a blink of an eye, Fenris in his beast form tackled Cora onto the floor, where she whiffled the white flag as a giant wolf had his paw on her chest.

"I give up!!!" Cora laughed in defeat.

Fenris growled at her. His silver hair was also beautiful in the sunlight.

"I am fine, Fenris. She just wanted to chatter." I explained.

He huffed before releasing her from his grip.

"Woah... You can control this wolf?" Cora asked, astonished that Fenris actually listened to me.

Her words though tickled me as she did not know what she was saying. It was the other way around.

"No... I am his charge... You really should do your research before kidnapping someone." I giggled at her ignorance.

It was entertaining for once. I had not laughed like this in so long, too. It was refreshing.

"Ah... Well, I will give up this time, but I promise to make you fall for me, Lilith! Mark my words!" Cora's declaration seemed to irritate Fenris, who growled in response as she retreated.

It was not long before she disappeared from our sight. Fenris shifted back to his humanoid form as I shook my head at her words. She truly was unbelievable.

"You should really be more careful," Fenris mumbled grumpily about what had just happened.

"I am sorry for bothering you," I whispered, gazing at Shade, who was having fun in the flowers.

It probably was an inconvenience for him to come all the way here just to fetch me. He peered around us to make sure no one was around. Before he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into a surprise kiss. For a moment, I felt my heart skip a beat. I tugged away from him, trying to steady my heart.

‘Someone might...’

"You cannot do this, someone might see." I worried Cora might still be around, even if he had checked.

Vampires could be sneaky, after all. Silent killers in most cases.

"There is no one here. And it does not matter if she is nearby. I am annoyed. And honestly could not care any less if someone saw us." Fenris firmly declared.

I gasped from his hand, going down into my stocking and into my underwear. When did he pull my dress up? He usually was not this aggressive.

"Why are you angry? Did I upset you?" I asked, wondering why he was irritated, but it just made him more annoyed.

It made him remember what had happened in front of his face. With brief hesitation, he touched my most sensitive area with his fingertips. I grabbed onto his shirt for dear life.

"Because you belong to me. How dare you let someone else touch you?!?" Fenris chided me.

I responded to his touch. There was no resisting him. Trying to hold my voice in, I bit into my sleeve, only for him to pull me up to meet with another kiss. Even though it worried me that Cora might see us like this, he cared very little at this moment. He was consumed with jealous rage. His touch made my legs give out; I fell to my knees. Not hard though. He had caught me on the way down.

Fenris licked the fingers he had used to play with me before he pushed me onto the ground. Surrounded by flowers, he smirked a devilish, playful smile. This was torture. A sweet punishment just for me.

"This body is mine, so don't you dare let anyone else touch you as I do." Fenris made his claim on me, kissing me deeply.

He trailed down my body and licked where his fingers have been. To prevent me from covering my voice, he clasped my hands on my sides, continuing to pleasure me with his tongue. He wanted Cora to know I was his. Not allowing myself to feel the fear that I should have if they had found us out, I mewled loudly. Just like he wanted. He made my mind go blank. He had done so many times before. My body twitched in response while he retreated from my most sensitive area.

"You smell so sweet today. I wonder if you are ovulating. If I make love to you right now, would you bear my pup? I wonder." Fenris teased, leaving me flustered beyond my mind.

A Lycan's sense of smell was strong enough to smell the pheromones that we women emitted when we were fertile. During these times, he would usually use protection whenever he touched me. Like he had the previous day. But today it seemed he was angrier than usual to listen to his common sense. There were hybrids of every race. The races were not all compatible with each other, but humans/witches/warlocks were compatible with everyone.

The offspring had the potential to use our type of magic if the human had the connection, as well as represent the different races that fathered or mothered it. Though it would be severely weaker compared to one of purebred. It is why most races avoid mingling with humans. None of them wanted a witch or any kind of hybrid. Though sometimes they could have normal children.

"You cannot," I warned Fenris, trying to catch my breath.

He was not thinking ahead of the moment that we were in, though. Lycans were so easily consumed by their temper. He was no exception, but this is the first time I had seen him this angry.

"I cannot?" Fenris questioned, inserting himself within me.

With no protection.

"You are not allowed!" I gasped, feeling his full length in me.

He thrust himself within me with little concern for the repercussions we would both face. If I bore his child, it would only lead to more anguish.

"Fuck that!" Fenris cursed, sending waves of pleasure through my body by pounding himself into me.

Having his child would be something I could only have in a dream. I did not want to cause him any more trouble, so I hoped I was ovulating from my damaged ovary this time. It was still functional, but only fifty percent of the time. If I were, his seeds might not find an egg to fertilize. If it was from my undamaged ovary, then I... did not know what I would do in that case.

'If you get pregnant, Lilith. Your child will have the power to rule this world.' Shade whispered into my mind.

Fenris kissed me deeply, keeping me from thinking straight. Unable to hold back from his affections, I responded. He continued to thrust himself into me over and over. The moment he exploded within me, I felt bliss once again. His groan ringed in my ear as I tried to bring myself into reality. The euphoria that had passed through Fenris seemed to calm him down, allowing him to realize what he had just done.

"Fuck! Lilith, I am sorry." Fenris panted, pulling away from me and helping me up.

The entire event dazed me. His words still replayed in my head.

"It is okay. I am okay." I whispered.

I slowly tried to fix my underwear and stocking. Before picking up the shoes he had taken off when he pulled them off. It was the first time he had ever done something like this. It was rather careless of him. I knew I was his, and his alone, but if Layla found out. It would hurt her, and he would be in an amazing pitch of trouble. Feeling the weight of what he had potentially done to me, he fell to the ground.

I turned around and went to him, worried about him.

"Lily... If... If you are... If you get... I will..." Fenris trailed off.

Shade hopped on his shoulder, stopping him from continuing.

"It is okay," I assured him, hoping for the best.

In response, he pulled me into another kiss.

"I will protect you, no matter what." He murmured, separating from me only for a moment before kissing me again.

It had been a while since he had said those things to me. Even when we were alone.

"I know." I smiled reassuringly.

This was enough for me. Moments like these were what would give me the strength to control my emotions. To the point, I did not even need the luxorite bracelet anymore. Though Ryker and the council still demanded, I wore them. In case I would explode out of nowhere. I was not bothered by it, though. All I needed was to be with my wolf.

I was happy to be constantly held by Fenris every night. Well, almost every night. The only time he would not hold me was when I bled from there. It would be a five-day break to catch up on all the writings I had to do.

For hours, we sat in the flower field in each other's company, hands intertwined. Every moment I spent with him strengthened my resolve to change. Maybe I could free him from my servitude one day. But when that time came.

Would he stay by me?

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