Hi there! Welcome! And thank you so much for reading my first story ever! I hope you enjoyed it! Truly, I am happy for those who go here! Makes me excited to know anyone would read my crazy stories! So I am here to thank you, my readers, before sending you off to the next part of this story! So, thank you so much for joining me in this journey of mine!
I am currently excited to tell you that Book 2 is already ready to go! *Currently building book 3 while editing books 1 and 2 for errors! And juggling life.*
Okay, I am a huge fan of stories that pick up on different protagonists, much like dragon age (this is a video game for those who are not aware). So I thought why not for my stories! The Gate of Shadows is where Lilith's story ends as the main character. Though, you will see them come back in the new book as side characters! *Cameos and helpful moments. So, you will see how their lives ended.*
This will be a generational story, meaning every book will be a new generation! Of course, this also means they inherit the problems of their parents. So you will get to see everything resolved, just not from the first protagonist.
So, here it is Book 2 The Eternal Souls! (Hopefully, it will be available to you guys! I posted the chapter at the same time as I did this and the last chapter. This is my first time doing this here so excuse me if there are issues! The cover was already approved and stuff. So this is a learning experience for me.~) https://www.scribblehub.com/series/311855/the-eternal-souls/
I am open to any ideas, feedback, and anything you have to say about my stories. If there is something you would like to see me write. This is the place to let me know too! I can't say it will be in The Eternal Souls (Book 2) or Fractures of Eternity (Book 3). But for future stories, I am more than willing to implement them!
Also, I will never do this for financial gains. This means I will never lock my books/stories to anyone. So, what motivates me is you, my reader. I love all of you who say things and even those who silently read without commenting. Though, sincerely I thank you for giving me a shot and for sticking with me.
Please let me know what you thought of my story too! I write as an escape. The reason I post it is in hopes it becomes someone else's escape from reality too. But even then, I will learn and get better! So please bear with me while I improve to be a better writer!
I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Much love! Below are some covers I made for Souls! Each is for a different arc while I was writing the story. But I settled on sticking with the second one!
*Bows* Thank you so much for everything! I hope to see you in Book 2 and 3!
The grammar and vocabulary used was excellent. I never questioned what I was reading and it was all very comprehensible.
The characters were all very well done and I loved how none of them were forgotten until the very end. They would always have a use and wouldn't disappear into obscurity even Owen and Ezra despite not appearing for over 10 years still were in the background and had at least some roles later on.
The story itself was fairly good and I was pretty hooked. The occurrence of events always made sense but never felt very cliche or predictable while still dropping hints and foreshadowing.
No story is perfect however and that will lead to my main and pretty much only complaint. The world. To be specific, the world-building. We knew very little about the world even all the way till the end. For example the culture or any interesting things about vampires. Or all those different types of elves. At most we learned that a certain type of elf tended to have a stereotypical way to act.
Even the world itself we knew very little about until very late. They have phones and computers, but do they have cars? And if no why not? They have magic flying vehicles used for special occasions, but what about those phones and computers and the internet. Is that magic based as well? And do different elves with their different magics manufacture different categories of things? And if so which? The world was hard to understand at times but mainly there just wasn't enough to really picture it. Now I get that the story is focused on the characters and their interactions specifically, but fleshing out the world and doing a little world building would help a lot in becoming immersed in the story. Later on we learned a little bit more about the world with agains the aerial vehicles and the hybrid breeds, but it was not enough.
Especially since we have always been more or less limited to Lilith's point of view, that gave us a very narrow look into the world. And by the time she started using a computer and the internet or heck even from when she was just reading books in the library, it would be nice to hear a little about the world and would make sense. Quick warning: that doesn't mean you should just fill paragraphs upon paragraphs of infodump on the world that are mostly irrelevant and the reader will immediately forget by not being relevant (sorry another novel that I read does this and it gets quite frustrating to read.).
Oh yeah also the smut wouldn't suffer from being longer and a bit more detailed at times. Ending it within a paragraph or 2 feels a little short to say the least.
Overall I've very much enjoyed reading this and can't wait on starting my read of the sequel (tomorrow cuz I'm going to sleep lol). Keep it up and remember there is always room for improvement.
I will take this to heart! Since this is my first story, I did not nail everything, but I am glad this was an enjoyable read for you. I will try my best to flesh out the world more in Books 2 and 3. But please never be afraid to call out on my bs! Or if I forget something! I will only get better like that. And I will never be angry at any reader who calls me out!
This is my first try at any of this and it makes me quite the nooblet! But I will get better! I promise you that! World-building seems to be my big flaw, but I will try to get better at it too! I won't ever info dump you anything *I hope.* I will always try to slowly feed you more about the world as the characters interact with things. But I get what you said, and that will help me become better! So thank you! Really thank you!
About the smut... Hm... I have to say I get bolder in Book 2 and in Book 3 I break the bar, I think? That is all I will say! In my first book, I was a bit on the vague side, but I turned into a demon by book 3. *Cough Cough* I almost wrote 10 pages or more of smut? So those scenes get longer. So in that I think I get better in that sense. But you will be the judge of that.
On the world-building, I will try to get better and I hope you hold me up to it. That way, I know if I got better. I hope you also enjoy what I got in store for you in Book 2! Thank you for being an amazing reader!
(Sweet dreams!)
@KoyukiMegumi That's a very good attitude to have! However don't down play your achievements! You've written an astonishingly long story with amazing quality and pacing and pretty much perfect grammar.
I'm very much looking forward to the smut and will judge them with pleasure (heh).