“...What?”

“You heard me,” Sylanna smirked. “You have two days to learn how to speak like a girl. You’re welcome to ask your friends for help too, by the way, but their memories will be added to our little bet.”

“Well, okay, but-”

Sylanna cut me off. “Great, no questions! I’ll be going now, bye-bye Hazel!” With that, the fey poofed, leaving no trace of our interaction behind.

“...Did that just happen?” I voiced my thoughts to nobody in particular. Are all fey like that, or was that Sylanna’s way of being nice? 

I rubbed my eyes as a way to sort of clear my head and continued to walk to the bus stop I’d been heading towards. A full magic transition to the body of your dreams, huh? Trans or not, that was a pretty big offer. Had she not just vanished in front of me, I don’t know if I’d even believe something like that was even possible. But…

“What kind of question is that!?” I mumbled to myself. Speak like a girl? What did that even mean? There was a time where my voice didn’t pass, but I don’t think that made me speak less ‘like a girl.’ If that was the case, then Sylanna obviously wasn’t referring to the pitch or resonance the average woman speaks with. That’d be too simple of an answer anyways. Then, did she mean the style in which women tend to speak, like the words and phrases they used? Or like, their accents or something? Wasn’t that too broad? How would I even go about figuring that stuff out? Go to the mall and ask people to give me directions to a store on the fourth floor?

That last thought made me pause. That wasn’t a terrible idea. It was Friday, so if I went this weekend… but there’s no way I’d have time to run something like that and process all the data in two days. Ughhh.

“Yo! Haze!” A familiar voice brought me out of my thoughts. I glanced up, watching as Allie skateboarded down the hill of the school’s outer road towards me. She’s always been one of those punk types. You know, ripped jean shorts, black tank, flannel cardigan around the waist, black nail polish? Yeah. Coincidently, that also happened to be what she was wearing today. We’d met online in an MMO, only to discover we went to the same school. 

When she was in ‘not-shouting down the hill’ distance, we exchanged a fistbump and a quick hug. “Sup’, princess. What’s gotcha thinkin’ so hard?”

I blushed, at both her pet name and her ability to call me out so quickly. She’d always been incredible at reading my emotions. “Hey, Allie. I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.”

“Try me,” She challenged. “Finally got a crush on somebody? Well, this bi disaster has got some tips for you.”

I laughed, “Hah! As if! I’ve seen your track record. I told you the last guy that took you out was fake as shit, and damn, was I so right.”

“Oi, lay off me!” Allie complained. I could see a faint smile tugging at her lips. Our back and forth banter had gotten to the point where it never failed to cheer either of us up. “Offer still stands, y’know. You headin’ to the bus stop?” I nodded my head. “Lit. I’ll walk with ya then.”

We walked in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the peace of the surrounding campus. Allie kept stealing glances at me the whole time, probably because she was worried about me. I sighed, “Okay, I get it. I’ll talk. But if I do, you have to join the bet.”

Allie raised an eyebrow. “Bet? Eh, what the hell. I’m in,” Then her face scrunched up a little, and her eyes widened. I figured she must be hearing that super creepy voice tell her something ominous. 

“What the hell, Haze!? Did you make a contract with a demon or somethin’?”

Yep. Definitely heard it.

“Well, sorta? I ran into a fairy a bit earlier, and she made a bet that I’d lose if I backed out of. It’s only my memories of running into her, and if I win, I get the body of my dreams.”

“The hell? Ugh, you’re such a handful,” Allie groaned. “I wouldn’t believe you if that weird-ass voice didn’t just corroborate everything you just said. But I guess I have to now, so shit, okay. What’s the bet?”

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “It was to answer the question, ‘How do you speak like a girl?’ I think Sylanna, er, the fairy meant like, the style and words women pick, but honestly, I have no clue.”

“Style, huh?” Allie seemed to give it some thought. “Ya mean, like the way I say words like ‘somethin’?”

“Uh, maybe? Or your tendency to curse and use more slang? But, like, it’s not like every girl speaks the same way as you do. That’s why this question so dumb! There’s no way there’s one single thing that all women do when they speak, right?”

“Yeah, and that’s how it should be. If you identify as a girl, you’re a girl. The way you speak shouldn’t invalidate that.”

Allie was pretty on point with my own feelings about this question. But would a fairy give me a question without an answer? Definitely something I needed to look into.

The sounds of the bus approaching took me by surprise. I hadn’t even realized when we’d gotten here. I really should stop thinking so hard in public- I probably would have walked straight onto the street if Allie wasn’t there with me.

“That’s my bus,” Allie told me. “But ya seem pretty out of it, Haze. I don’t mind hangin’ out with ya at your place for a while, if you need someone to talk to ‘bout all this? And, um, I don’t think it’d sit right with me if I letcha go alone while you’re not paying attention to anything around you.”

“Gah, please stop reading me like a book, Allie,” I told her. “I would appreciate your company, though.”

“Course! That’s what I’m here for. Plus, I get a little somethin’ out of it too.”

“Hmm?”

Allie gently lifted my chin with her hand and whispered, “You’re so damn cute when you’re thinkin’ hard like that.”

I shuddered with the strangest mix of fear and excitement, turning my face away from her to hide the blush that was growing wildly on my face. “G-Good god, Allie! You’re going to solve my entire sexuality crisis if you keep saying shit like that!”

“Just trying to give you some perspective,” She chuckled, then after a moment, added. “Tell me if I ever go too far, ‘kay? I know we joke around a lot and I’d love to help you discover your sexuality, but just say the word if I ever make you uncomfortable.”

“Got it. Thanks for checking with me, Allie. And, um, I didn’t say that I didn’t like that…”

That earned me a laugh from my friend. “Of course not. But I think I’ll have to save the teasing for after we solve this stupid question. My princess does deserve the body of her dreams, after all.”

My composed facade was torn to shreds in an instant. But again, she was right, and I shoved those thoughts to the back of my head for later. If I was going to solve this unsolvable question, I needed my entire mental capacity focused on it. I fully intended to beat Sylanna at her own game.