Chapter 1

 

It’s crazy the way life can turn inside out with no warning whatsoever. And I’d get it if it was some horrific accident that blindsided me or earth-shattering news like my parents had just won a million-dollar lottery. Nope, nothing of the sort.

Instead, God came out and finally decided He’d had enough.

I was getting an energy drink from the 7-Eleven—poor sleep last night meant I needed something extra to keep me going—when the world turned off its lights. Along with everyone else in the vicinity, I looked up. Clouds were forming in the sky. They didn’t roll in with the wind. There was none. No, these formed from thin air, starting with tiny balls high up in the sky which grew and grew until the sun was covered and the entire world was blanketed in shadows. I gawked. Nudged the guy standing next to me like can you believe this shit? This wasn’t supposed to be an umbrella day. Hell, wet season had ended weeks ago. Mr. Passer-by didn’t respond.

Giant letters had appeared in the sky. Seemed the Creator was burning gigantic golden alphabets through the cloud cover. A second later, the voice came in.

 

MORTALS. Your time in this plane of existence has ended. You have been found GUILTY. You cheat, lie, steal, murder, on and on in an endless cycle. You are all WORTHLESS. Your civilization has been judged unworthy of this life. Heaven lies barren, and Hell is full near to bursting. Therefore, you will all now be REMOVED. A new system will be set in place, one that will force you onwards to greatness. A system called Godguild. No longer will you judged by morals or the righteousness of your actions. In the new world, the Afterlife will open its doors to only those who succeed. Who persevere. Who chase victory and prominence above all else. In this new world, only the powerful will find life after death. Your time ends, and begins, NOW.

 

“What the fuck?” I laughed. That couldn’t be real, right?

I turned to joke with Mr. Passer-by but he only blinked at me stupidly. There was fear on his face. Real fear. It settled into me too, then. That had been nothing artificial. Impossible.

Had that been… God?

Apparently so. The giant golden letters faded, throwing the world in dusky gloom once again. I was just starting to get a grip and really wonder what the hell all that was when there was a giant snap, like fingers the size of mountains had clicked together. A second later, everything went dark. Not a cloudy-cover dark, a true darkness where no sight or any other sense existed.

#

When I came to, everything was bank white, like whatever controlled the lighting was making up for the darkness before. Oh. I’d blacked out. Or died and this was the Afterlife.

Hmm, not very impressive. I was floating in nothing, a faint buzz in my head. Thoughts were difficult to form, but I did remember what had happened. Cloudy sky, being pissed at possible rain, giant fuck-off letters. Then the world ending with a snap of what had to be the Creator’s fingers. And now I’d been brought… here. Into all this endless whiteness. How long was this going to last? I was sinking into sluggishness, which made it harder and harder to think coherently.

A light descended into view. It was a tiny orb, no bigger than my fist. But bright. Damn, so bright. I shaded my eyes with my hands, peering between my fingers as the light started to shift and the bright ball started to grow. In seconds, a woman floated before me. I blinked hard.

The woman was an angel.

There was literally nothing else she could be. She stood at least nine feet tall, wearing pale-gold robes that flowed off her like liquid. Her face was golden too. Not the golden tan my ex-girlfriend Cherie was so obsessed with keeping up, but actual, Fort Knox gold. Her hair was white as bones bleached in the desert, and her eyes were wholly black except for golden irises like two suns in space. Wings that would make small jetliners jealous stretched off her back, a storm of cream-coloured feathers whirling around her.

“Well, hello there…” She talked way too normally, though her voice was loud. Her eyes focused past my shoulder as though she was reading off a teleprompter. “Theodore Goss. How are you today?”

“Uh…”

“Teddy—can I call you Teddy?—I’m sure you have a lot of questions but things will clear up eventually. Right now, I need to explain how it’s all going to work from now on. Got a meeting at five-thirty, the Blackguards Guild dispute half-an-hour after I’m supposed to finish debriefing you, and so on.”

“Okay, but I’d still like some important questions answered, if that’s all right, uh…”

The angel offered me a strained smile. “Pixie. My official title is Sarakiel, but Pixelated Faerie is easier.”

I blinked. An angel called Pixie. What else is new? “Pixelated Faerie is not at all easier than Sarakiel. And… you’re neither pixelated nor a faerie.”

“Yes. Thus Pixie.”

All right, that was actually a lot to take in and it wasn’t getting any easier. It took me a moment to remember what my questions were. “Can I ask now, Pixie?”

She sighed. “I’ll answer you, but only three questions, mind. So pick carefully.”

“You sound like a genie.”

The angel snorted. It sounded odd on her as more feathers cascaded around us. “I learned from the best.”

I tried not to feel too miffed. Picking only three questions from the litany I’d prepared was not an easy choice. “What happened to my parents?”

“They are going through the same process as you.”

Damn that was harsh. Mom was well on the wrong side of sixty and dad was eyeing seventy like a gambler eyes jackpot. “Where are—I mean, what the hell is going on?”

“That will be explained. Last question, Theo.”

“All right. Why are you here?”

The angel blinked at me. Then she slowly smiled. She understood I wasn’t just asking what she was doing here, but rather, why was she specifically here at this time and not anyone else. “Well now, you’re assuming I’m not here just because of business. Briefing new Afterlifers is part of my divine duties. But you’re right. I do have a personal purpose in coming here. And that purpose is you, Theo.”

“Me?”

Pixie laughed. “Only three questions, remember? But now it’s time for me to explain some important ground rules. First off, we’re in purgatory.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, I know it looks rather plain and empty. But this is a resting stop for all transitionary souls like yours. Everyone in your world is getting a briefing here, though not all at once. The main thing you need to know—and listen carefully now—is that the rules of the Afterlife have changed for you. You can’t just be a useless sack and hope to slide into Heaven by being good. Similarly, Hell is no longer just restricted to the bad. You will now be part of a new System that measures the progression of your life and the more progression you have earned, the greater the chance you have of attaining Heaven upon death. Make sense?”

That was a lot to take in but I tried to focus on the important details. “Why am I naked?”

“You will start from scratch in the new System, barring some basic functions like speech. You will also start alone, so I suggest you shore up your independence.”

“Okay, but what sort of system are we—”

We were rudely interrupted by a hologram. Pixie held up a hand for pause, her head tilting and eye losing focus as though she was on a call. Then a man blinked into existence, transparent as a ghost.

“Lady Sara!” he said. The guy wore the kind of ridiculous getup I’d come to associate with fantasy RPGs—gleaming blood-red armour with an overemphasized dragon motif. The body looked like it was made of scales, the gauntlets and greaves were shaped like claws, and he had honest-to-goodness dragon heads jutting out from each shoulder. He waved his armoured hands behind him, though I saw nothing there. “We’re awaiting your arrival. Things are getting a little heated over here.”

Behind the new guy, there was a loud argument going on. People were cursing each other and throwing rather unique “your momma” jokes, plus threatening to shove whatever was closest at hand up someone’s ass.

Pixie sighed. A few feathers fluttered off her enormous wings. “Don’t worry, Jordan. I’ll be there soon as I’m done here.”

Jordan flicked his eyes at me. Shit, he could see me? He gave me a little mocking grin by way of welcome. Bastard was one of those arrogant, handsome types. Just my luck. My nakedness quite suddenly felt very exposed but I’d be damned before I stooped to covering myself up. Well hmm, maybe I was damned, along with everyone else.

“So this one’s part of the latest iteration?” Jordan drawled. “I don’t know, Lady Sara, I feel like you guys have already peaked.”

Was that an insult? That had to be an insult, right? Cocky, brash, overpowered guys only showed up to antagonize brave heroes, after all. “The hell are you talking about?”

Jordan was about to reply but the angel cut him off. She tapped her wrists. “Faster you leave, faster I can be done, Jordan.”

With a parting grin, still as mocking as ever, Jordan disappeared.

“Who was that?” I asked, trying not to let my irritation show. I shouldn’t be irritated at such a tiny interaction, and I didn’t want to show some guy I’d just met had gotten under my skin with just a look. Sadly, I’d seen and dealt with way too many arrogant jackasses.

“Jordan is the Blackguards Guild’s second-strongest Seeker,” Pixie said. “If you meet him again, try to get along. It certainly won’t hurt to have powerful friends.”

“No offence but fat chance of that. He didn’t exactly look friendly.”

“Just try, Theo.”

“What did he mean by iteration?”

She snorted out a short breath as though she was wiping the page and starting the story all over. “Your world is the 1183^rd iteration of its kind. Not just your planet, mind. The whole universe that you know has gone through this process of starting at the Big Bang to ending up to the point where the System had to be introduced to prevent your species from causing total collapse 1182 times before this. Jordan was a member of iteration 1027. So he’s quite your senior.”

The mind boggles. As far as I knew, the universe was at the very least 14 billion years old. 1183 simulations meant that this thing had been going on for several trillions of years. Holy shit.

“I understand you’re likely very confused right now, Theo, but things will fall into place soon.” Pixie plucked a feather from the air and handed it to me. It felt smooth and light, ready to evaporate in seconds like cotton candy. “And the only way things will fall into place is if you get started. Come on, it’s time to go.”

We started falling. It was a slow, controlled descent like I was one of Pixie’s feathers, not at all the rush I’d felt when I’d gone skydiving several years ago as an 18^th-birthday present from my parents. The angel turned into the golden orb as we went down.

I made the mistake of looking up. “What the hell?”

“That’s actually Heaven.” Pixie’s voice came from the feather in my hand.

“For real?”

Far above, the monotonous whiteness had dissipated to show a vast vista. It was like looking at a floating city from below, enormous, artful buildings stretching into the cosmos beyond. Glimmers of starry light flickered here and there, and the whole place was awash with a strange aura that was both welcoming and forbidding at the same time somehow. I could get that was paradise. It sure looked like a nice place to spend eternity.

Though to be honest, I’d never been a big believer in the whole God thing. My old folks were decently devout, but they allowed me the religious freedom to choose for myself. I’d decided it was fine if faith worked for other people, but I’d be keeping a wary distance. Sorry, but no giant being in the sky was controlling my life.

Maybe I should rethink that stance. Though the thought of letting go of control made me cringe.

“You should look down too,” Pixie’s feather said.

I did so, then did a double-take. “Shit, is that Hell?”

“None other.”

Far underneath, Hell roared. A blasted land stretched from horizon to horizon. I thought the ground itself was red at first, but then I realized it was packed with bodies like someone had tried to fit a Linkin Park concert in a school gymnasium. And all the bodies were mangled and bloody. I swallowed. Holy shit, I spotted gouts of fire, pools of lava, what looked like a storm raining acid and black lightning, unfathomable monsters rampaging through the crowds, and none of it was enough. The damned souls were everywhere, innumerable, returning to their place moments after they were eradicated.

“You don’t want to end up there,” Pixie cautioned.

“No shit,” I said. “But we’re falling right into it.”

“No. Well, yes it looks like we’re falling there from your Mortal perspective. But that’s just how Purgatory appears to you. Don’t worry, we’ll end up somewhere not as horrible.”

Not as horrible. Well, wasn’t that just a doozy.

“Ready for your new home?” Pixie asked. She didn’t let me answer with an emphatic no. “Let’s go.”

The world went black once more.

#

When I regained consciousness again—still sans any clothes—I was in Hell. Had to be. I was standing in a little gloomy hollow, trying to tell myself I was wrong. The ground was dark as coal, the nearby trees were black and twisted like Rorschach inkblots, and instead of a sun there was a giant hole in the ashen sky. The air felt like it was burning, a little too warm and with a faint crispy odour flirting with my nose. I really didn’t want to be naked here for long.

I stared around for the angel. “I thought you said we weren’t going to Hell!”

The feather shook in my grip, or maybe it was my hand. Like I could tell when I was so disoriented by everything around me. This wasn’t fair. Why lie to me at a time like this?

Pixie materialized a second later, the golden orb transforming back into the giant winged woman. “Now I know what this looks like, but you’ll need to have a little faith in me, okay?”

I took a step back, my heart beating a little harder than before. I realized Purgatory must have dulled my senses and suppressed my emotions. For the first time, I felt true fear facing this monstrous woman who could do who knew what to me. I was nothing more than an ant to her.

My temper helped me approach, though I reined it in. Wouldn’t do to start shouting at a giant angel who could likely reduce me to kindling. “Where exactly am I?”

“Let me finish.” She looked at her wrist and frowned as though she was running out of time. “The new system decided that you’ll fit in best in this sector. Provisionally, for registering and tracking purposes, we’ve titled this area DIV-119AZ56. However, you can rename it once you claim the majority for your own. To do that, you’ll have to survive, grow stronger, and conquer this sector. Don’t worry, you wouldn’t have been put here if it’d be impossible to survive here. There are resources and other important things seeded throughout the land. You’ll just need to work to find them. If you focus, you can bring up the system’s interface and check everything from your current status, progress, objectives, and so on.”

Pixie stopped there, and I got the sense she was asking me to look at whatever this interface was supposed to be. I didn’t have the faintest clue how. Though she had said to focus… I closed my eyes and thought about what I was like now, how I felt. I thought about me. Thought about how fucked up everything had become in a flash, my entire life and everything I’d been working towards—it might be hard to believe, but I was a damn good engineer, especially for a newbie, and on the fast track to success—now gone. All gone.

Instead, I was now Naked Caveman in Hell. Out in theatres now!

The interface popped up all of a sudden when I opened my eyes. It was like a screen that obscured everything, like I had a monitor taped to my face. “Woah!”

 

[Status]

Theo

Race: Human

Level: 1

Experience [XP]: 0/100 [To Next Level]

 

Classes

Primary Class:

Secondary Class:

Tertiary Class:

 

Attributes

Strength [STR]: 2

Endurance [END]: 2

Dexterity [DEX]: 2

Spirit [SPI]: 2

Wisdom [WIS]: 2

Charisma [CHA]: 2

 

Stats

Health: 20  [Regeneration: +2/min]

Stamina: 20 [Regeneration: +2/min]

Mana: 20 [Regeneration: +2/min]

Attack: 10 [Attack Speed: 10/min]

Defence: 10 [Magic Resistance: 10]

Speed: 5 [Sprint: 20]

 

Resources

 

Resistances

 

Combat Talents

 

Magic Talents

 

Crafting Skills

 

Survival Skills

 

Social Skills

 

Other Skills

 

Bonuses

 

“What is all this?” I looked at everything floating before me, trying to get a grip on it all. It looked like some kind of character sheet from an RPG or Dungeons and Dragons sheet.

“That is your [Status] page,” Pixie answered. “As you can see, it will show you everything about your current situation. All your classes, stats, conditions. It might take some getting used to, but you’ll get the hang of it. Now close it the same way you opened it. We’ve got more to see.”

“There’s more?” I sighed. “What do I think about now?”

“Try to focus on where you are and what you want to see.”

I was going to have to look into that again once this angel was gone. There was too much I didn’t understand at such a short glance. But I did as she asked and focused on where I was in this blasted hellscape. When I blinked, the [Status] screen was gone, replaced now by a map.

“There’s not much to see,” I reported.

Pixie nodded when I came back out of the map. “Right now, all you’ll see is what you’ve explored. But if you zoom out, you’ll be able to see other sectors and what they’re like.”

“Huh.”

I went back in and tried to zoom out. It worked. The other sectors surrounding my dark patch were all significantly larger. Okay, now that was just unfair. Not only were the others bigger, but unlike mine, they were also dark green or blueish and basically not at all giving hell vibes. I’d totally gotten shafted.

“Once you start exploring, finding, and building things,” Pixie said, “you can mark places on your map, get more in-depth views, and even control areas directly without going there.”

“Sure. Those other sectors, do they have a different… theme? Like, they’re not hell too, right?”

“No. Most of them aren’t. Some are deserts, some are archipelagos, some are barren moons.”

“Barren moons?”

Pixie shrugged. I looked up to see more feathers but none were falling here. “Look I know you’re upset, but I’m sure you can do this. I’m sorry, I don’t really have the time for a pep talk. There’s one last thing I need you to check for me. Try thinking of what you want to do now.”

I did as she asked. Thinking about what I had to do only brought me confusion, but it didn’t last long. Yet another screen popped up, obscuring the whole world.

 

[Log]

Active Quest

 

Recent Quests

 

Recent Messages

 

Recent Paths

 

Diplomacy

 

Reputation

 

“It’s empty,” I said as I closed out of it.

“For now,” Pixie agreed. “You’ll find good use for it later when you need to track things and take certain actions. There’s also a [Menu] but I’m sure you’ll figure it out on your own.”

The angel said nothing more and I got the sudden sense that our interview was over. it made me panic. I was lost here. Lost. She couldn’t just leave. My butt cheeks were exposed! This was no goddamn nudist colony for crying out loud.

But I was a master of controlling my emotions. “You never said why you came to me specifically.”

Pixie smiled, as though she knew exactly what was running through my head. “It’s all about this new system, Godguild. Well, new to you, at least. While individual progression is ultimately what the system seeks, people inevitably form teams, or guilds as we call them, to help each other. The Guilds under my purview are always looking for new members. I’ve peeked into your life, Theo. Standing witness at court for that elderly lady who’d suffered a car accident at the hands of a millionaire, getting your old boss fired after he harassed one of your colleagues, taking care of a lame horse in your grandfather’s stables. These are all the acts of a kind man who looks out for the oppressed. Who helps those who can’t always help themselves.”

Stalker. “…that’s why you brought me to hell?”

Pixie laughed. It was full and rich but not at all pleasant, not here where it was silent as a forgotten tomb. “I’m saying I want a man like you in my team. You just need to, uh, git gud, as they like to say.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed too. It was ridiculous hearing a regal, 9 feet tall woman saying git gud.

“One last thing,” Pixie said. “Your parents are in this plane of existence too. Perhaps not the same world, but somewhere out there. Provided they don't die, it isn’t impossible for you to find them. Difficult, very improbable, but not impossible. Something to keep in mind.”

My laughter had died as soon as I understood she was talking about my old folks. Damn, I so hoped they were all right. Dad had a heart condition, and Mom was the sweetest thing. I couldn’t imagine them surviving a place like this. The same panic started to set in, the same overwhelming worry I’d drowned in when I’d arrived here.

“Theo!” Pixie grabbed my attention by flapping her giant wings. “Focus. Everything depends on what you do now. That is what the system is all about. The ultimate fairness. It’s all in your hands.”

I swallowed. She was right. Everything was what I made of it. I looked around, noting the dark ground and brooked trees that gave me no impression of what I should do or where I should go. I tried to smile. “So… any idea where I go next?”

The angel started to rise. “Follow your body. The feather can be used to summon once in emergencies. Remember, always prioritize your own survival first and foremost. And be wary of other Afterlifers who might drop in. Your sector isn’t disconnected from the rest of the world.”

I watched the angel transform back into a golden ball and disappear. I was alone.