Nolan has not felt this way for a while now. He wore his frock coat and placed a hat on top of his head. He arranged his tie and made sure that his sleeves were well arranged. After arranging his suit he walked out of the cabin and thought of how it should be fine until then. Arel had already agreed to guard his orchard. Not to mention that he had placed runes that would help the needs of his orchard.

Nolan walked out of his cabin. The sun greeted him as he walked down the carved dirt part of the road. He walked past the lovebirds who have started clinging to each other. Nolan continued down the tree-lined street, entered the plaza where the leaves were falling, and took the lift down to where the port was. It was when he neared the boat taking him to the mainland that he saw a figure sitting on the stairs. She wore a white hat, a shawl, and a braided bun neatly around her head. She cast a glance at Nolan who did not carry any luggage. Nolan noted that she had a strange tint of red in her eyes now.

“I didn’t know you wear glasses, Ashia,” Nolan said. “It suits you.”

“Do you talk to women this way, Nolan?” she asked.

“I am merely being polite. So where are you going?”

“I can ask the same, Nolan,” said Ashia.

She continued, “Away, it seems that I am needed around the world. So many countries out there, with no companion. What about you? You have no luggage other than the suit you are wearing. I hear from the Captain that you are going to be traveling. Leaving your orchard for a while?”

Nolan nodded. “I’ve legs made for traveling. It is a syndrome of mine to travel until my legs are tried.”

“We have trams and trains, you know?”

“That’s not what I meant,” he scratched the back of his head.

Ashia stood up, grabbed hold of his tie and started fiddling with it. “Your tie’s crooked. How come?”

“I was in a hurry,” Nolan replied. “You smell lovely.”

She looked up. “Again with the compliments, are you hitting on me?”

“I wouldn’t be so bold,” he said. “Besides, I think I’m taking steps away from letting of something that bothers me.”

“Oh, that’s sad. Is it because of a woman?”

“Part of it,” he said. “Still, I choose to let go.”

“I see doubts.”

“It’s easy to read me huh,” he said shyly. “I just don’t know anymore. Maybe because of age that I have started to forget how I should act. Young? Old? I don’t know anymore. I should forgive myself, ah, what I am even talking.”

She pulled on his tie and looked up to him. “Do you hate, Ciara?”

“Huh?” Nolan’s eyes widened.

“Do you?”

“What are you?”

“Just tell me, do you hate her?”

“I don’t. Never. Hell, even after the things she did, no, the burnt woman did, I couldn’t.”

“What about Tania?”

“How do you know these names, Ashia? Ah, is it the Lady telling you this?”

“I will always find you didn't I?”

Nolan listened. He forced himself to listen.

“Who are you, truly?”

“A trio of souls, such a fortunate happening. Still, I was able to live a life saving a world. Isn’t it lucky for me?”

“Tell me. Who are you?”

“Will this do?” She placed both hands on the side of his head.

Nolan then saw flashes of memories in an instant. Nolan’s face stilled, that soften expression gone, turned into that of despair.

“Why?” Nolan asked. “Why do you appear before me at the times where I choose to take a light step? And? So are you there too? Now you two are inside of her? If you two had chosen to take over her life then I swear that I won’t hold back.”

“We choose this,” Ashia said. “You saw it. How I save this world.”

“You just can’t enter my life this way. What? How? This isn’t fair. Why are you always like this?” He held her shoulders, head lowered, and eyes watering. His tone of voice was weak, and he was hunched.

“Do you believe me?”

“How long have you think I’ve lived? You are the same now, this is too much for me to take in, and you expect me to give you smiles and kisses?”

“I’m sorry,” Ashia said. “I just wanted to be with my husband. I, you should know that to survive we have to be Ashia.”

“Then which one is alive and which one is dead?” he asked. “What a joke, it’s just cruel of you to do this.”

He was on his knees. Ashia stood in front of him without moving. She held her head and pulled him up. “Stand, I did not marry a weak man. I didn’t allow myself to be bound by someone who would be as weak as this.”

“I’m tired,” Nolan looked up, in tears. “Just why, why now?”

“Come on, you big baby,” she pulled on him. “You’re going to soak your suit. You look good on it you know?”

Nolan grabbed hold of her shoulder again. “I want to believe. I truly want to believe you and that memory…but this has happened for so many times that I am afraid. Tell me, what should I do?”

“Don’t run,” she held him. “Maybe, we can finally walk that dream. Under the sunlight with our hands held…I don’t mind sharing a body. I mean we both want the same thing.”

Nolan stood and looked at her with longing. The tired old heart of his couldn’t lash out. The light that still worked couldn’t argue. He held her hand and pulled her quietly into the boat. He sat on the deck of the boat and leaned on the side. Ashia sat beside him silently without noise. Only the wind and the engine starting up.

“Let me believe in you, just this once,” he raised a finger. “After this, then I will leave, and never looked back. I am tired and old.”

“Okay, I promise.”

Nolan looked up with a dull look on his face. He closed his eyes and yet he felt that she was still there.