The next morning, Zelgadis packed up his things mechanically, lost in thought. He couldn't stop thinking of what Xellos had said. The mazoku wanted him, but what did that mean exactly? Zelgadis was pretty sure he knew exactly what the trickster had meant by those words, but he kept trying to think of other meanings. Surely Xellos didn't want him . . . not like that . . .

But on the other hand, he'd been answering a question. In his own Xellos style that confirmed absolutely nothing of course, but the question itself gave some information. 'Why do you draw me'. Why did any artist draw something? Because they found it beautiful . . . or handsome, exotic, unique, intriguing, powerful, fascinating . . .

Zel rubbed his head again. There were other reasons to think that was what Xellos actually meant. He'd said once he enjoyed watching the shaman . . . and Zel couldn't help but remember the poems he'd found with the paintings and sketches. It all made him so uncomfortable, he'd never been wanted that way by anyone. Amelia, but that was different, and certainly more romantic. He got the feeling Xellos' desires weren't exactly romantic regardless of anything else.

He fell quickly back into his routine, but still with little success. Zel found himself studying the mazoku's spell most evenings and asking questions about it whenever he followed up a lead. As the days turned to weeks, the shaman's quest shifted slightly. He was starting to understand Xellos' spell, understand how the mazoku magic actually worked. He began to think, why not pursue this unusual lead? Mazoku magic, forbidden knowledge, spells designed specifically to change a creature's form. Zelgadis was starting to understand it, so he began to put more effort into the very last idea he could think of. He began looking for a mazoku spell that he could work off of for a cure.

-o-o-o-o-o-

“I'm starting to think I should collect the chimera's debt.”

Xellos smiled, but argued lightly, “But he is still so useful! I have yet to find out about this group he's discovered, and Miss Lina would be most upset.”

“His questions are becoming more troublesome than he is useful,” the woman said with a frown, narrowing her eyes at the other.

Xellos' grin faded, quietly protesting, “He is no threat. He could be easily steered away . . .”

The blonde huffed and shook her head. “The fact that you would question me proves there is no other way.” She watched the man for a minute, frowning at the solemn look that settled on his face. “The chimera is on his last chance. I don't care one way or the other, but if he continues to trouble me, I will have to deal with it. Understood?”

Xellos nodded and bowed to her, “Of course, Mistress.”

-o-o-o-o-o-

The longer Zel looked into mazoku magic, the more connections he began to see. Or at least, he thought he saw connections. The alien spell was barely a guide, but each new idea he tried always yielded another lead or clue to follow. In only a few months, he'd made more progress than in the last year or more.

Not that this line of research was exactly safe. Currently Zelgadis found himself traveling a stinking road through the underbelly of a new city. There were dark wizards known to frequent the area and he was searching for the hidden shops that catered to that type. He'd already been attacked once just that morning, and nearly pickpocketed. He was already on edge when he sensed a presence behind him. One hand landed on the chimera's shoulder and he was moving in an instant. Zelgadis drew his blade and spun, pinning his attacker to the wall, ready to take his head off.

“Whah! Zel-kun, it's me!”

Zelgadis tensed, but stopped his attack. He glared at the familiar purple haired priest, sword still raised. It was very tempting to follow through, just to vent some anger. Instead he shoved himself back and settled for an angry, “I could have killed you!”

Xellos just gave the shaman a smile and chuckled slightly. He pushed away from the wall and dusted his cloak off casually. “I thought you would welcome my visit, it's been a little while.”

More than two months since Xellos had said . . . Zelgadis felt his cheeks heat. He turned away, looking around the street and noticing that the windows and doors that had been open were now closed. He wasn't likely to find anything here until the residents calmed down again. He sighed and decided it was best to just move on. As he started down the road again, Xellos matched his step and Zel looked over at him. “Why are you here?”

“I cannot come to simply visit you?” the trickster asked innocently.

Zel gave him a suspicious glare. “You usually don't, but I'm not close to anything right now. That I know of,” he added, but couldn't see any change in the other's posture.

“What brought you to this place then?” Xellos asked. They were nearing the edge of the city, passing the houses that melded into the light trees of the forest. Zel looked back at the city and sighed again as they continued on.

“I've been following new leads,” he admitted. “Studying what your mistress gave me.”

Xellos frowned slightly at him. “That is powerful, dangerous magic, Zel . . .”

“I know, I know.” Zel waved him off. “I am not trying to cast anything like that. But there's a lot of information I've never studied before, possibilities I haven't explored.”

“In mazoku magic,” Xellos said rather flatly, as if to confirm a bad idea.

Zelgadis glared at him. “Using that as a starting point, yes.”

Xellos was frowning more obviously now, focused on Zelgadis. “I should warn you . . . There is no spell in mazoku magic I know that will return you to human form.”

Zelgadis growled slightly and shook his head. “But you don't know everything that's out there. I'm trying to find spells that the Beast Master wouldn't . . . necessarily . . .” He stopped and blinked, slowly looking to the mazoku. Xellos was still watching him, eyes open and serious, lips turned down unhappily. Zel blinked again and frowned more darkly himself. That had been two separate sentences, Xellos should warn him about something, but he couldn't. The Beast Master was angry with him again. Slowly Zel's frown faded, looking tiredly at the priest, almost pleading. “I have nothing else left to try.”

“Nonsense!” Xellos chirped, instantly back to his usual cheerful self. “At the next city, I'll help you look. Perhaps we can find someone with useful information!” He suddenly took the lead and Zel found himself following the priest into the trees until the mazoku decided they stop for the night.

Zel's mind wandered back to the last time they'd been together and he felt himself blush again. He focused on setting up camp instead, starting the fire and getting a meal cooked for dinner. Xellos was quiet and when Zel finally looked his way, he found the mazoku was watching him. Zel quickly looked away again. He pulled his food from the fire and did his best to ignore his companion.

Xellos wanted him. Zel looked at the mazoku again, but he'd actually turned away, facing the fire now. Not that that meant anything with the trickster. This time, Zel didn't look away, his curiosity almost forcing him to speak. “Do you really find me . . . beautiful?” He found it difficult to say the word.

But Xellos shook his head. “I never said that.”

The shaman frowned at him. That was true, he hadn't. “Handsome, then. And intriguing?”

“I technically never said that either.”

“You did, you said those exact words,” Zelgadis accused angrily.

The mazoku turned to him and smiled in amusement. “As a hypothetical example. I never said it was actually my answer.”

The chimera growled slightly, but tried to keep calm. “Then what is it?” he demanded, still frowning at the other. The trickster stayed silent though, just making Zel frown deeper. “Whether you admit it or not, that is what you think.” Xellos was still silent and Zelgadis huffed at him, choosing to take it as agreement.

After another minute the mazoku finally spoke quietly. “I still do not see why you want to know.”

Zel sighed a little, not really wanting to have this discussion again. “You're right, it wouldn't change my search. But you're wrong too. Having people who see that I'm not a monster, who accept me . . . well it at least makes it better.”

“But you've had that in the past, with Lina and the others. Before that too, when you hung around with those bandit friends.”

The other stopped speaking and Zel looked at him, eyebrow raised. “What's your point?”

Xellos smiled at him across the fire. “Merely curious why my opinion suddenly seems to hold more weight than theirs.”

Zel's eyes widened some, jerking back. He- he hadn't meant it that way . . . but as he thought about it, he realized it was sort of true. Why was it true?! He could feel himself flush again and looked away quickly. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.” He focused on his meal, again trying to ignore Xellos and again failing miserably for the entire evening.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The next day the pair reached the city well before midday. Zel was eager to begin asking around and was instantly annoyed as Xellos' first questions were for a recommendation for lunch. This led to the chimera sitting grumpily in a grubby tavern as Xellos joined him with the meal he'd procured. Zel glared a little, suspicious of the food, which looked considerably better than this establishment would provide.

“Eat up, Zal-kun.” Xellos set the plate in front of him and settled into the opposite chair.

“I would rather start looking around,” the chimera growled under his breath, not for the first time that morning.

“Eat,” Xellos insisted. Zel sighed and rolled his eyes, but pulled his mask down so he could. It was delicious and only made him more certain it came from elsewhere. As he started to eat, Xellos glanced around and told him, “We are not here by mistake. I said I would help you, and so I shall. We need to find those who may be able to help us.”

“And you think we'll find them here,” Zel said, piecing together the mazoku's logic.

“In a fashion,” Xellos confirmed. Zel raised an eyebrow, but the trickster shook his head. “Finish your food, I'll have spotted someone by then.”

The chimera shook his head slightly, not really having another choice. They'd not had a meal that morning, so the food was both filling and welcome, despite his suspicions. When he was satisfied he finished his drink and then reached for his mask again.

“No,” Xellos said quietly, catching his hand. “Leave it down. Come with me.”

Zel tried to protest, but the priest was already moving and he just growled. He stood to follow, looking around nervously. It seemed everyone was staring at him and Zel clenched his jaw under the attention. He caught up with Xellos and stepped close, wanting space between himself and the wary patrons of the pub.

Xellos was conversing with an older woman at the corner of the bar. He turned to Zel as the chimera joined them and his smile grew. As he turned back he saw the woman was staring as well and he cleared his throat slightly to draw her attention again. “You can see why I've been searching,” he continued his earlier plea. “I only want to help.”

The woman looked at Zel again. The chimera looked away uncomfortably. Then the woman nodded. “Our sorceror academy is small, but maybe they can do something. You tell them Maddie said to let you in, they'll try to help.”

“Thank you,” Xellos said and clapped his hands together in gratitude. The woman nodded back, but then returned to her drink and her own food.

Zel followed the trickster out, doing his best not to scowl. “Can I-”

“No, leave your mask down,” Xellos insisted as they went through the streets.

Zel couldn't stop the growl that escaped him. “I look like a monster!” he hissed.

“No,” Xellos corrected. “You look like a victim. Traveling with a priest who needs access to the local guild to try and help you.” Zel sighed, but that did make sense. It wasn't an angle he often explored . . . he growled again, but he stopped arguing.

This wasn't that large of a city, the academy was indeed quite small. It was behind large walls to keep it safe – a place they'd passed upon entering the city that Zel hadn't even noticed. There were sorcerers at the gate, giving the pair of them wary stares, but Maddie's name granted them entrance.

Zel still itched to put his mask in place, but he resisted the urge. Xellos was still leading the way, curiously asking others as he went. Did anyone know any transformation spells here? Was anyone doing research not recorded yet? Had anyone heard of chimeric magic being studied? He specifically avoided the academy's library, focusing on the people. Each of whom gave the chimera a long stare before answering, usually with nothing helpful.

Every third or fourth person however seemed encouraging and Xellos was getting some useful bits of information. Then finally, when questioning an older teacher, the man nodded. “I have heard of someone I think. I remember he was working with chimeras in his research.” The old man paused to think and Zelgadis couldn't help but lean in a bit, holding his breath. He'd had doubts, but it seemed Xellos did actually know what he was doing. The man nodded after a moment and smiled at the pair. “Yes, they called him the Red Priest-”

Zel's face dropped. He turned abruptly, not listening to another word as he strode off. The old man trailed off with a quiet confused sound and Xellos thanked him with a small bow, but then hurried after the chimera. “Zelgadis-”

The chimera ignored him, storming out of the complex completely. How could he have been so stupid as to get his hopes up like that?!

“Zelgadis, wait.” Xellos caught his arm, but Zel just shook him off, angrily heading out of the city again. Xellos frowned, getting in front of the chimera to block his path. “Stop!”

“No!” Zelgadis shouted at him and tried to shove his way past. Xellos grabbed his shoulders tightly, able to keep him there without much trouble. But Zel just growled in his face. “This is why I don't do this! It doesn't work, it never has!” He stepped back, smacking the mazoku's hands away again. “Asking people always just leads back to him.”

“Zel-kun . . .” Xellos frowned, still holding his hands out to the other. This had not gone quite the way he'd expected. With a small sigh he stepped closer and pulled Zel's mask up to cover his face. “I believe there is still useful information here . . . but you don't need to be there for me to find it.”

The chimera shut his eyes for a moment before nodding. “Then I'm just going to get a room for tonight.” He'd spend the day out of sight of others and be that much happier for it.

Xellos nodded as well, a small smile returning. “That sounds like a good idea. I will find you for dinner.” Zel rolled his eyes, but he nodded, then turned to find somewhere to get a room. Xellos' smile faded again, watching him disappear in the crowd before he turned back for the academy.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Zelgadis stayed in his inn room the rest of the day, laying in bed with his arm thrown over his eyes. He was devastated to have hit the same dead end yet again. That pain did fade though, and he found his mind falling to Xellos again. What he was doing, it was almost overwhelming. This kind of help had never really been offered, his friends hadn't joined his quest, he had joined theirs. Xellos was specifically trying to help him.

But was that really true? Xellos had shown up to stop his searching, at least to stop him looking into mazoku magic. The Beast Master clearly insisted. Yet he thought she had forbade Xellos to search for his cure, too. How much was Xellos bending his orders? Was he even able to do that? Or was he just leading Zelgadis away again?

The chimera groaned slightly. Thinking about Xellos made his head hurt, there was still too much he just didn't understand. Xellos wanted him, and he wanted to help, but he also had his orders. He liked to watch Zel, and the chimera suspected he was still being drawn as well, though he never saw anything to indicate that. He also liked provoking the chimera and leading him along, he was simply impossible to decipher.

Zel was still lost in this thought loop when there was a knock on his door. Xellos opened it without an answer, smiling wide at the other as he entered. “Not a bad little inn.” Zel didn't bother to reply, just levered up to be sitting on the bed. Xellos had a boxed meal with him that he handed over, eliminating the need to leave to get food. “I'm afraid there wasn't as much as I was hoping to find,” Xellos reported. “A few leads, but nothing solid. The best I was able to uncover was tales of an old wizard's keep by the sea. If it is still there, it will hold the wizard's notes.”

“I suppose that's better than nothing,” Zel muttered, still not overly pleased. The restful afternoon had helped and he felt better, but only in comparison. It was difficult to be hopeful for 'if it's still there'.

“We will not know until we get there, but we can leave in the morning. There's another city between us and the keep, we can stay there tomorrow and likely finish the journey the next day.”

Zel smiled tightly, but it faded. He couldn't help asking, “What if it's not there?”

“We will not know until we get there, no point in planning for something until we know what is there.”

Zel sighed, but nodded his agreement. He had other things to think about until then, namely what he was going to do about Xellos.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Zel walked in silence, staring at the path just in front of him as they continued towards the next city in the midday sun. He listened to Xellos' footsteps, wondering if he could really go through with the plan he'd decided on. Eventually he opened his mouth, then hesitated and swallowed before trying again. “Xellos . . . I want to make another trade. But I have a new deal.”

The mazoku looked at him, but remained serious rather than offering any flippant remark. “New how?”

Zelgadis continued to watch the path as they walked. “One to one, and I get to ask my question first this time.”

Xellos was watching the shaman and he raised an eyebrow. “Really now. What are you offering that you think is worth so much?”

Zel pursed his lips before saying quietly, “Me. Tonight, if you want.”

He still didn't look up, not seeing the surprise play across Xellos' face. “My,” the mazoku whispered, “that is a valuable trade indeed. And what are you asking in exchange?”

Zel stopped walking. He turned, finally looking at the trickster, his face set in determination. “I want you to explain – actually explain – what I mean to you.”

Xellos smiled again, looking amused. “I see. You never were satisfied with the answer you received.” He turned and began walking along again, Zelgadis falling into step beside him. “What I told you was the truth, I see you as a representation of my hope.”

Zel blinked, a little thrill going through him. Xellos was going to answer . . . which meant he accepted the deal . . .

“What you guessed was also correct,” the priest continued. “It is your search that makes me see you that way. But we are not looking for the same thing. For one, I don't want to be human again – why would I?” he added with an honest laugh.

“Indeed,” Zelgadis agreed with venom, glaring briefly at the other.

Xellos just smiled in return. “For another thing, I cannot actually search. If I happen to come across anything, well, that's just my good fortune. But I cannot go out looking for it.”

“What are you looking for?” Zel asked.

Xellos' smile grew wider. “Two explanations?”

“What? N-no-” Zelgadis yelped, but Xellos was already speaking.

“I want what humans want, I want to be able to chase my desires. 'Bound' was the word you used – well, the one that fit better. You are right about that, I simply do not have a choice. If I did, I would certainly still follow Xellas-sama, but it would be my own decision each time to do so.”

Zelgadis blinked slightly at him, stunned. “Then . . . you're looking for a spell that would give you your freedom?”

“My, my, Zel-kun. Such gloomy language, I am very much free! And happy in my position. Really, these conversations turn so dour with you.”

Zelgadis glared slightly again, more than a little confused. But that was just Xellos' nature, even when he was answering your questions he did so in a way that made your head spin. Zel wasn't going to risk asking anything else.

The trickster turned his head to look at him, eyes slit open. “But back to you.” Zelgadis swallowed, looking away from that gaze and back at the path ahead. “What I want- one of the things I want, I cannot look for. But I know it is out there, if I ever can bring the bits of information together. Your cure is the same and you . . .”

He hesitated and when Zelgadis looked, Xellos had raised his gaze towards the sky. “No matter how far you have to go, no matter what you have to do, you keep going, you keep persisting. Even when you fail, even when you must give up your quest until a new lead turns up . . . you never stop trying. Your search brings you hope.” He lowered his eyes to the shaman again, still open and clouded with concern. “Less than it used to. That's why I was so worried when I found you after you left Grimda, and a couple of times since. But, so long as you keep going on, then there is still hope.”

Zel looked away again, quiet under the other man's gaze. He thought about Xellos' words and it just made him fidget uncomfortably to be thought of that way. The silence stretched and finally he looked up again only to find Xellos still staring at him as they walked. “What now?”

Abruptly the mazoku stopped, turning and stepping towards Zel. He startled back, pressing his back against a tree, but Xellos only took another step closer. He leaned in, his free hand drifting up to cup the chimera's chin as he pressed their lips tightly together. Zel made a surprised noise and Xellos just used the opportunity to shove his tongue into the other's mouth, exploring roughly for a moment before he pulled back again.

Zelgadis gaped at him, flushed and struggling to be upset. “Wha- I mean- w-was that your price for my second question?”

Xellos smiled at him, the look decidedly more predatory than usual. “Oh, no. That was the rest of the answer to your first. You owe me now for the second.” He turned again to continue on their way without anything more. Zel continued to blink, but after another minute he forced himself to continue as well.

-o-o-o-o-o-