10 Years, Forest. What comes next.

“I am sorry I hid the truth from you. I did it so you would not bring me back to the village.” Long Breather. “The truth is, I already killed the Owlbear. The prey you have been hunting is already…”

Dead. It is written on all their faces; I don’t even have to speak it out loud.

“It’s okay to get angry. After all, I have lied to you, I abused your trust. I am prepared to face consequences, but please try to…”

“Boy...” It is, surprisingly, Timo who interrupts me. Not Olivia, not Maaten, but the strongman Timo, whom I had talked to little to not at all in the last few days. Then, he almost shouts: “How???”

What? That he is curious about? Not all the...

Alright, I think it is about time I lay my hand open, and stop having secrets.

“In truth, I am a magician. It was magic that allowed me to best the owlbear.”

Simon seems as if hit in the gut. He is pale for a second, but then his face turns red: “Impossible! We did not find an adapter in your belongings! Stop fooling around, boy. This is serious!”

Why is he so upset? “What are you talking about? You can use magic without an adapter. I can do it, I know others who can do it.” He should stop acting like it is a big deal already.

“I think you underestimate how rare it is exactly. I heard a rumour about it exactly once while studying medicine at the academy. That there are grandmasters who can use magic without adapter. I think Simon here did not even hear that rumour.” Maaten steps in, and redirects Simons anger to him.

“Why did you never tell me about that?”

“Because I thought it was just that, a rumour. Also, it had escaped my memory until now.”

Maaten and Simon keep discussing, and I feel Olivia tucking my shirt.

“Forgive Simon for that. You have to know, he was a student at the academy himself. His family’s pride, he was supposed to take over the business after studying. He dropped out in his first year, after some unfortunate quarrels with his instructors. Magicians and everything connected to it are a sensitive topic for him.”

“I see.” That explains his behaviour when I talked with him about ‘What is magic? The basics.’ I get it – there are also some topics that I myself don’t want to talk about.

Olivia steps into the heated discussion, and quickly stops it. She has absolute control over the rest of the band, as expected of a leader. It was about time, as the rest of the band, especially Shina, seem to have grown considerably annoyed.

“I do not want to bore you with the details of the fight, neither do I want to go into detail how I got proficient with magic. The most important thing is: After an extensive fight, we both fell into that ravine,” I point downwards. “and in the end, I emerged victorious. I cut the claws off with magic, and set up to leave this forest. You know what comes after that.”

It looks like especially Timo, Maaten and Popey were especially interested in the details of the fight, but I am in no mood for telling a heroic tale, I just want to lay down facts.

“I see. It all makes... somewhat sense now.” Olivia is the first to speak up after I finish talking. “Those must be the claws you mentioned, then.” She points at the bundle half-hidden between backpacks next to Timo. I nod. Olivia seems a bit unsure how to act. “In all honesty, I am not even mad. I am just...”

“This is surreal.” Maaten says this, and Olivia nods. Timo nods as well, Popey seems lost in thought. Shina seems bored out of her mind. Simon is still grumbling.

“So, you are boy married to spirits.” Popey interjects, sounding full of respect. “Young is rare. You are special boy, you already passed the rite of adulthood. Be proud.”

“Rite of adulthood? What is that?” When Popey speaks for a longer time, his language is considerably broken, but nonetheless, I feel wisdom seeping from his words. Strange.

“Ah, don’t scare him away with your spiritual bullcrap!” Shina bursts into the conversation.

Popey seems perplexed, and a little angry. “It is not bullcrap.”

Shina already opened her mouth for a reply, but Olivia shuts her down with a harsh voice, something I had yet to witness her using until now. “Stop it. Both of you.” Although harsh, the voice is also tired. It does not seem to be the first time she had to separate those two over this topic.

Then, after making sure they stopped, she continued in her normal voice. “We now have to see where this leaves us, and take action accordingly. The threat is eradicated, this is what counts. But we have to report that, and tell those back in the village that they can stop worrying, and mourn their dead in peace.”

“What about the corpse? Everything of this owlbear is worth a lot to the magician’s guild. If we take some of that with us, we could live in riches for a few months, no – maybe even a few years!”

Everyone stares at Shina. “What? I am just saying...”

“If you want to climb down there and harvest, be my guest.” Olivia answers in the name of the rest. “But it is dangerous. Are you a professional climber? One misstep, and your neck is broken.”

“The boy could go. He came in and out of there without a problem, after all.”

Now, everyone glares daggers at Shina. “Okay, okay. Bad idea, I get it.”

This woman starts to irritate me. “I have a name. It is Reiland.” ‘Boy’ is not a name for a magician who fought an owlbear and won. Still, I was ignored. What a bummer.

The band discussed on a bit after that, but it was mostly useless chatter, so I did not pay any attention to it. On the contrary, I was lost in my own thoughts about the future. What will I do now? I cannot return to the village, I already ruled that out. But, what then? Live in the forest? Wander through the lands as a drifter? Try to go to another village where they never heard of me? No...

I remember the talk I had, years ago. It was with Arstibal, about the academy of the magic guild. If there is anything I can do really good, it is magic. He said it would cost a hefty sum to enrol there without recommendation, but if I were to sell the claws of the owlbear, it could just suffice. That woman said the magic guild prizes them highly, after all.

The magic academy, huh. Thinking about it, it was my wish to go there ever since Arstibal told me of it. Learning magic by discovering everything on my own is an option, but I saw how much quicker it can be when someone teaches you, I saw it with Brian and Ione. Certainly, they have a higher coefficient than me, and it also took me quite some time to get them to find their sense for magic, but after that, everything progressed relatively smoothly. If I were to have things taught to me in the same way, I wonder what understanding of magic that could bring.

Maybe, if they learn that I already am this adept with magic on my own, they will give me a recommendation, and I won’t have to pay tuition at all...

Alright. I will accompany the Nosediving Merlin up to the village, and then leave, leave on a journey to the capital of the country, where the academy is housed. Arstibal said I would have to be fourteen to enrol, but in ‘What is magic? The basics.’, there was also a chapter regarding the conditions required to enrol. While there is nothing like a direct age condition, you need to pass an interview that tests your wit, apparently. But, passing this should not be a problem.

The band seems to be done discussing as well. They decided on just leaving the corpse here, and returning to the village, to report the kill to the mayor. He had put a bounty on the owlbear, so they are going to claim that. From what I overheard there was a discussion of giving me part of it, but I don’t want it. I got the claws, and this will suffice.

“Alright! Let’s go then.” Olivia declares such, and Timo starts loading his back with the baggage again.

Maaten approaches me. “Hey, Reiland. Even though you seem to have ways of not letting your feet cool out, you should not walk that much. Believe me in this, your feet will thank you later.”

Admittedly, he is most likely right. “You can carry me, if you must.”

“I appreciate it.” Maaten proceeds to give me a piggyback. “It is a good thing you are so light. Magic is really something amazing, isn’t it?”

I nod. Realizing he cannot see that, I add: “I guess so.” Years ago, I thought of magic as something amazing. Now, it is just but a very convenient tool, and the new reality.

The walk back is a lot merrier than when they were still believing that there could be a dangerous beast around the corner. Olivia and Simon talk, and Maaten occasionally exchanges words with Timo. Popey is leading way, merrily whistling an unknown melody. Olivia’s bird is flying over us, occasionally returning to Olivia’s Hand, communicating details of the path ahead with a few gestures and shrieks. Only that woman is walking a bit separated from the rest.

“Is it okay to be this loud? What if something heard us?” I ask Maaten, who does not seem to have anything to do at the moment.

“If we were still on the hunt, you would be right. We would be alerting our target, and depending on the nature of it, it would either attack us when we are unprepared, or it would flee. But now, it is unlikely for us to run into an aggressive animal, so all we do is alerting boars and bears of our presence, giving them time to evade us. In fact, we will encounter less trouble on the way like this. Also...” Maaten lays his head back, and breathes in, and out. “It is just so much more relaxing with some merry companions around.” He enjoys the moment for a bit, before asking: “What are you going to do now? Return to the village?”

“Yes.” I nod. A dead-faced lie, but a necessary one. “For the future though, I plan to go to the capital, and enrol in the magic academy there. Later on in life.” It was not necessary to tell him that, but since Maaten has studied medicine there, it cannot hurt to get his opinion on that.

“Not a bad plan. The sale of the trophies you took should pay for that. Plus, with what you are already are able to do, I can’t see you fail there. Only...” Maaten seems uncertain for a moment.

“Only what?”

“Forget about it. I wish you a happy study at the academy, when the time is ripe.”

After that, our conversation stops, and everything continues as before. The claws seem to have quite a high value, as Maaten said they would cover for Tuition Fees. I think back to mother – She could probably use some of that. With that money, she could lead a better life, even without me and father.

On a whim, I make a decision. I will come back to the village one last time, at night, when everyone is fast asleep. Then, I will leave a claw in the mayor’s office. If he is not some scumbag, he will know what to do with it. With that, I could maybe finally get some peace of mind.

“Let’s rest here!”

On Olivia’s command, everyone starts setting up the camp for the night. If my sense of orientation does not deceive me, we could reach the village on dawn if we would march through the night. But, everyone is tired, and Olivia said it would be better to not bring the villagers out of their beds so early. So, Maaten let me down and I sat cross-legged in the snow. He then started gathering for a fire. I am looking forward to his cooking.

“Boy. Take pillow, the ground is cold.” Popey approaches me, and hands me a sitting pillow. I find myself staring at him because of his unusual appearance, but take the pillow anyway. “Is my only pillow, but you should have it. Even if you are warrior, you are young. Young deserve not be cold on ass.” Popey laughs out. Was that meant as a joke? Still, a bit more sitting comfort does not hurt.

“Thanks.” I feel like Popey, as well as Maaten, is a decent man. Honest, and caring for their comrades. Considerate against others. Also, Popey’s foreign appearance, the songs he had sung around the campfire, they fascinate me.

He sits down next to me, not minding the snow beneath him. We watch the others do their business. “Say, Boy... How is it? Being married? I wanted, back then... but no spirit wanted me. I had envy for the others. Now, I am happy. No married, but good fighter. Get to see new people, new lands. But, I think. Sometimes. Of how could have been...” Popey seems reminiscent of old times.

Being married... to a spirit, he means. What he means, seems to be his way of describing sorcery. Maybe this is the way they explain magic where he comes from. In comparison to the complex theory of magic energy and its conversion, it is a rather simple way to describe it. Still, it may not be necessarily incorrect.

“It is hard. When I started learning all of this, I had trouble fitting all the pieces together. But, it is the most convenient skill to exist. And, I think anyone can learn it, given time and diligence. It is a double-edged blade, though.” I was able to learn it despite my low coefficient. Brian and Ione were able to learn it, just following my instructions. Had I just prepared them better for the risks of magic…

No, I was not prepared myself. I knew magic was a convenient, but dangerous tool, and yet I disregarded the second part fully in favour of the first. Starting from now, I must think everything I do through, from beginning to start. A single foolish experiment with a new magic type could easily end my life. Brian was lucky he only crushed his hand.

“You talk funny! Spirits are choosy. Some do not want but get married, some try their life, but nothing. You are lucky, being liked by the spirits.” While he laughs at the beginning, he also talks with a faint kind of sadness afterwards. It seemed to have been important to him once.

That may actually be the view of someone who has experienced lots of failures. It is not actually my fault – I am just not a chosen one. Maybe that was what happened to Popey. Somehow, I wish could prove him otherwise. But we would part ways this night. Not only Popey, but also Maaten, Olivia, Simon. Timo. Even that woman.

“Popey, say. How is your country? Is everyone brown there? Does everyone sing such mysterious songs?”

“Oh, we sing! Around the fire, we sing, the whole night. Cactus wine, cactus flesh, the drums. It is beautiful.” Popey’s eyes sparkle while he tells that. Afterwards, he first points on his skin, and then on mine... “This is normal. This is rare. Very. Only bad people. But, in country here... its different. Everyone like you, no one like me. Not all people bad. Some bad, some good. Just like home. Not what I expected, when I left. Surprise. But, good surprise. I like people here.”

Suddenly, a hand lays on both our shoulders. “Won’t you tell him of the elephants? That is what interests kids the most, after all.” Simon tucks his head between ours. A spark of recognition flames up in Popey.

“Oh, right! They are big as house, legs like trees. Ears like sails, and long trunk! But, none here. It is sad. They are majestic.”

I try to imagine what kind of thing an elephant could be, but I am only seeing weird imagery. After all, his description just sounded way too outlandish. It is something you have to see for yourself to understand it, most likely.

Now, it is Simon, not Popey who takes word. “Say, what you said earlier, did you mean it? That everyone could learn magic like you did? Without an adapter, even?”

I nod. “I think so, if they did not fall on their head.” At least, this is a fundamental truth of how I perceive magic. It does not seem to be wide-spread at the magic academy, but that may just be because an adapter is way more convenient in most situations.

“Even I, who dropped out of the academy?” Simon, considering the fact he seemed to be upset earlier, seems surprisingly open to talk about magic. He sounds desperate.

“I did not even attend it in the first place. Therefore, you should be able to do as much as myself, at least.” Upon hearing that, something like a glint of hope that had already been in Simon’s eyes reinforces itself.

“Could you teach me?” He sounds pleading. Ready to give everything for that. His eyes remember me of a boy, a friend, who wanted to learn magic with the same or even fiercer passion. Brian, how are you? Did you already recover from your injury, and are already walking around merrily as ever with a splinted hand?

No, it couldn’t be. I saw the Injury, I heard what the Doctor said. It is uncertain if he will even survive the shock he fell into, the Doctor said so herself. He could be dead already, and I would not know. Goddamnit...

How do people deal with pain?

There is no way I can do this. Teach another person... Even if I could, I would never be able to look anyone into the eye, even less than now. It would be repeating the same mistake all over again.

My internal struggle even reached my face. Although I spent the last minute grieving in silence and by myself alone, Simon seems to have taken a message for himself out of it. “I suppose you couldn’t. I am sorry I asked...” He looks like he aged a couple of years in the span of seconds. The glint in his eyes is dead.

I fell quiet after that.

Eventually, Maaten serves a hearty stew. I eat while they talk, and knock off any attempts to involve me in their conversation. Instead, I am just brooding in my own thoughts, contemplating future, past and present. When Maaten offers me a bed, I want to decline, but he insists. A shame putting it barely to use.

Shortly after, everyone is asleep. They were tired after the long walk today. I get up. My feet hurt, my chest hurts, my whole body hurts, but I can feel that Maaten has given his all in the past days to get me patched up. My naturally light step is even quieter when I am light as a feather, so nobody is waking up from me wandering around the camp.

I take a small sack. It has two ropes attached to it so it can also function as a crude backpack. It is one of the things that Timo uses to carry all the equip. I feel a bit sorry for taking it, but I will need it on my way to the capital. I see it as a fee for hunting down their prey and securing them the bounty. Then, I put the claws into it, and use my rope that I used to fasten them together to attach my trusty pouch to my waist again. I also take a handful of meat jerkies out of Maaten’s supplies, for times if I cannot find anything to eat.

Equipped like this, I leave the camp. For the first few meters, I sneak, but eventually I run. I have to reach the village before the sun starts rising, as I want to avoid being seen. Fast as the wind, almost like the time I ran from the owlbear, I run through the forest. Only now, I have not dropped my self-heating, so I won’t be messed up as badly as before.

The trail of destruction is easily followable even in the dim moonshine, and it does not take all too long, only about an hour, until I enter recognizable terrain. With it, I also meet the horrible smell of rot. Around here, the owlbear did most of its gruesome killing, and its victim’s remains are in an advanced stage of decomposition now.

A dark hand grasps around my heart, and squeezes it dry. I recognize the area, I do so too well. Right here is the spot where I lived through the most devastating moment in my whole life. The stench is breathtaking, and the snow is hardly covering up all of the shreds. I feel like vomiting from the stench alone, but am barely able to contain myself.

Then, the images come back, flash before my mind again, and I violently retch all over the ground. The puke is burning in my throat, and a second swell follows the first one.

When I manage to collect myself, my realized I vomited all over my pants. I feel miserable.

I kneel down on a very specific spot. I wipe aside some of the snow, and confirm it is here where the dirt is still freshly uptorn and rather loose. I look at my fingers, and while the injuries of digging through the soil bare-handed are on the way of healing and also overshadowed by the frost blisters, they are certainly still there.

“I am sorry, Father.” Even though I turn quiet after those four words, nobody answers them. What am I even doing here? “If I would have handled things differently, maybe you would have still been alive. I will not forgive myself that, not until the day I die.”

Again, it is complete silence that engulfs everything around me, not even violated by the shouts of nocturnal birds or other animals.

It is time to leave.

I come across the clearing where I used to study and practice magic. Then, the already not very dense Forest cleans up entirely, and I get to the village outskirts. There it is, my home, no – former home. I open the creaking door as silently as possible, as silent as only someone who has years of experience with this specific door can, and look around inside. There is a bit of room left in my backpack, and I scan the room for things I may need.

My blanket, I tie it wound my neck. It looks somewhat like a coat now, and helps retaining the warmth I produce with my body and my magic better.

The small copper pot that mother always used to make stew, I attach it to one of the Backpacks strings at the two handles.

Some more rope hanging from a small hook in the wall.

That is all that remains from my home, and I leave the rest. It is not even my home anymore, as my home was where my family lived. Father is gone. Mother is living at the mayor’s house, and given her leg, I doubt she will be able to live on her own.

Oh, how I hope the mayor will do the right thing...

I feel like I don’t belong.

Then, I go into the centre of the village, straight to the biggest, most imposing house. On the way, I sneak a peek into one of the small windows of the healer’s house, and see her tending to a person on the ground. I also catch a glimpse of the bed Brian occupied, and he is still in there. I am glad, this means he is still alive.

Arriving on the marketplace, I shortly recall the times when Arstibal held his testings here. To think this had been only over two years ago, it is a weird feeling. A lot happened in the meantime.

I take a small run-up, and then jump up to the mayor’s balcony. The door is not locked, like last time, but this time, the mayor is not sleeping there. I am glad. Meticulously, I open my backpack, and pull out one of the claws, one of the two big ones. I regret not being able to write and leave a message to explain how this should be put to use, but it cannot be helped.

I take a deep breath. The uneasiness of being back in the village is almost overwhelming me. I raise the claw up to the ceiling. Then, with a quick motion, I slam it down and lodge it deep into the table.

I turn around, and run. I jump from the balcony at full speed, sail for almost twenty meters, and run. This is not a goodbye; the goodbye was when I left the village to hunt the owlbear. This is... only an end of a chapter.

I run, and pass the village borders in seconds. Then, I run down into the plains, and run.

And run and run.

And run.