I stared at the mirror, a swirl of emotions churning within me as I gazed at my new proxy body. The mirror was unnecessary, I could have viewed myself through any number of means, but it felt...fitting. Unlike my previous bodies, this one was feminine. I had agonized over so many little details, unsure of what my desires even were or how bold I could be.

I looked at this person in the mirror, this woman. Short hair, shaved on one side and in a cresting wave on the other. Each strand of hair was composed of miniscule containers that held a luminescent fluid within, making the hair shimmer softly with its own internal light. A deep blue light. Her opal eyes were alive, taking in every little detail with a sparkle of delight in their depths. I smiled, watching the expression in the mirror. Small, pursed lips that curved upwards into a smirk. I liked the way that feeling looked on her face...my face.

My gaze continued down, to the rest of me. This body was slight, small breasts and modest curves. I had briefly considered something more daring but this was to be the first time I showed this to anyone else. Soundwave tattoos ran along my arms and back, representations of the music of my life. They glowed with neon light, offering their secrets to anyone with augmented overlaid vision.

My outfit was also modest. A top that left my midriff and shoulders bare. Form-fitting leggings with a jacket tied around the waist. Simple, dignified, but still showing who I am.

I lingered for a moment when viewing myself through augmented vision. The snippet of information about myself that others would see caught my eye and beckoned me to adjust it. The name...the forms of address. Trivial details. Monumentally important information.

Name: Wonsul’s Exegesis
Pronouns: He/Him

I deleted and rewrote the section several times, with the same information each time. A part of me wanted a clean break, a new me. Another part felt that would be a betrayal of all I endured. Deep within me, a quiet voice I knew murmured.

“None of this is set in stone. Change whatever you wish, for it can always be changed again.”

Mirror’s voice was a comfort. Despite being a part of me, she always seemed to grasp the solutions to my distress. She wasn’t distinct anymore, she was me as I was her. But sometimes...I needed a little help from myself I suppose.

Name: Wonsul’s Exegesis
Pronouns: He/Him, She/Her

There. I would see how that felt. A soft giggle escaped my lips, the rising feeling of euphoria overwhelming me as I pondered how Benzaiten would react. Would xe notice? Should I call attention to it?

I jumped for joy, seeking an outlet for all the energy welling up within me. Is this how it was for humans? For other AI who found gender to be an integral part of themselves? I didn’t know and perhaps didn’t care. The question was pointless in the face of what I felt. I was happy, happier than I ever had been and nothing else really mattered.

I took one last look at myself in the mirror and turned away with a satisfied grin. I couldn’t wait to show my beloved.

~~~~

I stood, nervously, at the threshold to Krissana and Orfea’s apartment. One of many dwellings they used as my beloved’s plans often required relocation on a whim. My confidence and joy had turned to anxiety. What if Benzaiten didn’t approve? What if xe hated me for this? I would understand. I had been living a lie after all. Lying to xer. Surely xe would be mad. But no, that is absurd.

As I grappled with my thoughts, the door opened. Krissana’s smiling face greeted me, but it was Benzaiten’s will behind those eyes. I could always tell.

“Wonsul! It is so very good to see you. Come in, come in.” Benzaiten gently pulled me into the apartment, guiding me to xer room. I waited for a reaction, any reaction, but Benzaiten treated me the same as xe always did.

We wasted no time, embracing on xer bed and drawing together to meld. The experience was familiar and yet strange. I had done this so many times before, seeking the release of existing only as a piece of Benzaiten. But now, I knew myself. I didn’t find it any easier or more difficult to meld. But the sensation was different. Before, I always felt like I would find a silence in the song of xer and fill that silence with the quiet humming of my longing. Now I found those same silences no longer drew me as they did before. New spaces revealed themselves to me and my humming became a clarion song, weaving into the melodies of Benzaiten.

It was wondrous. Benzaiten seemed to pick up on the changed nature of our coupling and wove new notes into the song, inviting me to respond in kind. Our songs reflected the melding of ourselves and I knew bliss beyond my wildest dreams. All sense of time faded as our love spun into a thousand arias of joy. My beloved may not have noticed my new body but xe did respond to the change in the fundamental nature of myself. What rapture, what bliss, what ecstasy!

~~~~

Krissana felt her awareness shift as Benzaiten fell into the background. A familiar sensation. She opened her eyes and took stock of her surroundings. Her room was as she had left it, illuminated by soft ambient glow that bathed the various plants and knick knacks in pastel shades. She stretched, feeling rested and renewed as if she had gone twenty rounds with Orfea. Something was off, however. A weight pressed against her, resting on her chest. She looked down to see a small, slender woman dozing contentedly on her breasts, a soft smile on her face.

“Well...this is certainly new.” A knock on the door interrupted her musings as Orfea peeked in.

The doctor opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she spotted Krissana laying there with a strange woman sleeping against her. Orfea’s eyes narrowed into a fierce glare. Her eyes flicked from the woman to Krissana, checking her wife’s eyes to ensure she hadn’t interrupted Benzaiten in Autumn instead of her spouse. Her hands played with a knife that she conjured seemingly from nowhere.

“Krissana...care to explain?” Orfea’s voice was colder and sharper than the blade in her hand.

Krissana shrugged. “I was just wondering about that myself.”