By the time Alijah had his fill of me, I was fully numb, panting for air. Somehow, my consciousness had kept up with the wolf. Though he held me up out of breath as well. My mind seemed to be jumbled up, too. It felt like my body was not my own. Twitching at the slightest touch that came from him, I could barely keep up.

The wolf himself seemed to be worn out when he suddenly tumbled down with me on him. Luckily, he landed sitting down behind the couch in the living room. A slight chuckle left him when I found him inside of me.

The smile that arose on his lips triggered my heart to throb. None of this was fair. I had taken a bite of forbidden fruit and I... wanted more. Even though my body was exhausted and had done things I thought I could never do, I desired more. So much more. But... now that the drug was probably out of his system, he would never touch me like that again.

It took everything within me to fight the urge to kiss Alijah, trying to fight the haze that my mind had become. My chest stung too. This probably meant nothing to him. Well, not like what it meant to me, at least.

Why do I torture myself with this desire for something that I will never have again? Why doesn’t he make me cry in pain rather than in..? No, I was also at fault. I should have run away when I had the chance.

But that was also never a possibility for me. Wanting to get off Alijah, I tried to stand up only for my legs to fail me, sending me down onto him again. A moan left both our lips when I fell back onto him. He chuckled again, causing my cheeks to turn bright pink.

I felt nothing more than pure embarrassment upon hearing him enjoy what had happened. Instead of letting me run as I wanted, he grabbed onto my hips, holding me in place.

"If... you are going to do that, then how about you move properly," Alijah smirked, teasing me.

In response, I growled at him. Though all it did was make his grip on me tighten. His expression was not fair. He seemed like he was having fun and enjoying himself, even though he had just been drugged. Well, he did it to himself without really wanting to. Did it not bring him any terrible memories?

His gaze…

Please... don’t look at me that way... I’ll get the wrong idea.

And if that were to happen, well, I could not let go.

"I wanted to get off you." I pouted a bit, trying to hide everything I was feeling.

Alijah licked my lips, causing me to twitch a bit. His sudden touch made me tense up a bit. It caused him to whine, feeling my walls tighten on to his heat. The stimulation caused my wolf to thrust into me.

I held onto him for dear life as mewls left me. Everything was so unfair. Though pleasure soon radiated through me again. Before I knew it, he stole my lips as a feverous kiss followed. After a couple of more moments of indulging himself with me, he stopped, shaking his head a bit.

Pulling away from my lips, a soft saliva string connected us. How I wanted to pull him back into me.

"Fuck... Sorry... You wanted to stop, right?" Alijah sighed, not wanting to let go of me, but still pushing me away slightly so he could pull himself out of me.

The moment he did, I saw everything, and it almost killed me. He did not let me have a heart attack, though. No, he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his tail around my waist.

"Stay here with me for a bit though," Alijah whispered, holding me, showing nothing of the hostility he had for Wyatt a few hours ago.

For a few seconds, I rested on my gentle wolf's chest, trying to catch my breath, but it quickly turned into something else when I stole a peek at him. He seemed pale and somewhat out of it, which worried me.

Come to think of it, when was the last time we ate? And has he even slept this whole time he was watching me?

I slowly reached to touch his cheeks, only for Alijah to grab onto my hand, kissing it lightly. The dark circles under his eyes were so prevalent that I could not stay still and rest, even though we were both exhausted. I had to find us some energy to replenish ourselves.

Even though he wanted me to stay with him, I pushed myself away. I was the one with the most energy out of us two. He had probably not slept a wink since the cave, and who knows how many hours it had been.

Twenty, forty. I did not know. Going past my limit, I struggled to grab my pants, putting them on. The poor wolf sat there with the worst hangover he had felt in thousands of years. Though that did not stop his snarky comments. He was not happy that I was no longer in his arms.

"I thought you were the type to cuddle after, not run," Alijah complained, making me want to throw the first thing that I held at him.

The nerve of this wolf!

If he did not look like he was about to die, I probably would have thrown something at him, but that did not mean I would stay quiet.

"You look like you are dying! Who would cuddle with a corpse?!" I growled at Alijah while he nervously chuckled, knowing I was right.

He was not okay, even though I had given him an outlet with my body. Urgently he needed something in his system to fight off what was left. Walking past the real cadaver in the room, I opened the fridge, grabbing the jug of water that was there along with ham.

With everything at hand, I slowly made my way back to my wolf with my shaky legs. Luckily, I made it in one piece. He almost chugged the water in one go, taking a bite of the ham after. Unlike the meat I had gotten him, I preferred some crackers instead.

My appetite was not the best, especially after everything that had happened. While he ate, I pondered our situation, thinking about our next move. We could not leave this house here like this for everyone to find, particularly everything that happened in that room.

I could not help but gaze at it as it made my heart flutter.

How can I ever face Alijah with a straight face again? Probably... but I have to. If only I could forget about the feelings that are rushing through me. I feel so warm.

Shaking my head, I tried to get rid of everything we, well; I did. I had to focus on what we had to do once we could move again. Fortunately, it was still night, making our getaway easier. After finishing the crackers, I closed my eyes, sitting next to my wolf.

I tried to think of how to get rid of all the evidence we had left behind. Though my wolf had other plans. He suddenly pulled me closer towards him after he finished eating what I had brought him.

"How are you feeling?" Alijah asked, feeling better than he had a few minutes ago.

At least some color had returned to him. It was hard to hide the embarrassment from everything that flashed into my mind the moment he asked that. Instinctively, I rested my head on his shoulder. This was to not gaze at him directly.

"I’m fine," I mumbled.

Suddenly, Alijah pulled me onto him. I was in front of him, between his legs, while he sat behind me with my back on his chest. This brought back memories of... He would not allow me to feel embarrassed, though. No, he had other things in mind.

"I’m sorry for doing all that to you." Alijah apologized, triggering a gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach.

Even though he held me so tightly and warmly, it hurt to hear him say that.

Would he have apologized to Lilith, too?

I doubt it. He probably regretted holding me altogether.

Was I that bad? Or is it something else? Are my insecurities making me paranoid? Probably.

He probably was apologizing, fearing me, ordering something weird as revenge, but that was something I would never do. After all, it had been bliss for me to feel him like that.

"You don’t have to say sorry for doing that to me, Alijah-tan." I tried to stay calm, attempting to be my usual self.

That’s what normal Rem would have said, right? Right?

In my chest, though, there was a hole that would not be plugged up soon. This had to be divine punishment for something. My love for him could not be contained.

"Rem..." Alijah mumbled my name.

I shook my head, trying to shake the tone of voice he used. It was almost as if my reply surprised him. Even though I did not want to, I turned to face him. I could not let him get the wrong idea. He was nothing like that elf.

Or like the people who raped him. If anything, I had taken advantage of the whole situation.

Yes… This is all me.

The elves outside were still burning incenses throughout the night. Any wind would blow them into the house. It almost smelled like a flower field. While I was in Alijah’s arms, it had not bothered me.

Though now, I could tell why Caden and Aiden were having a hard time. Even Alijah’s nose should have been bothered by it, but all that was in his mind was me.

"It’s not... like I disliked it. Unless you..." I struggled to say.

My heart was beating erratically. Thought what was worse was the knot that was forming in my throat. I did not even know where I was going with this.

Will I have a heart attack after all?

Alijah's cheeks were so pink that I could barely face him straight. I was going to misunderstand him.

Alijah... can I tell you... that I love you? Surely, it will only bother him to know.

"Oi... you really are stupid aren't you." Alijah sighed with a playful smile on his lips.

He already knew where I was going. And that was not something he would allow. Cupping my cheeks into his hands, he made sure I was facing him. His eyes were gentle towards me.

Part of me wanted to kiss him.

"I..." He struggled to find the right words to convey what he wanted to say to me.

It had been years since he had anything else other than a curse to say to someone.

"I’m not good with words, Rem. I mean other than insults... Sadly, that was taken from me a long time ago. So, don’t get me wrong when I say you have been a first for me. Holding you felt so right that I... couldn’t control myself." The flustered wolf stopped for a moment, laying his head on my bosom.

I felt bliss upon hearing those words. Instinctively, I hugged him.

Can I really have a piece of your heart, Alijah?

"I did so many things to you. Are you sure you don’t regret it? What we did isn’t what a girl looks for in their first time." He finished, holding me back gently.

Unable to stop, I petted his hair, enjoying the fact he was allowing me to do what I pleased. I could even smother his ears. They were so fluffy. I had always thought he would bite me if I tried.

"I’m fine with everything we did, Alijah," I answered, sounding like a skank, but I was only fine because it was with him.

Not like it mattered how I sounded. He knew I had never been with anyone else. I was so happy that it made me wonder if it was okay for me to be in this much bliss. For me, to have this hope that was swelling within my heart was dangerous.

This had all been a wish come true. I would have wanted no one else to touch me that way. Even less to do all those embarrassing things he stimulated my body to enact. That had never happened in all the dreams I had with him.

In all honesty, if Alijah wanted to do them all over again, I would not have minded, but I could not get ahead of myself. It was not like he was telling me he loved me and even if he did. Would it last?

That did not matter either. I had taken a bite of this forbidden fruit; I did not know if I could ever let go of my beloved wolf. He was much more than I ever thought he would be.

"You answer nothing like a normal girl would, huh? Where are my slaps or punches? Sometimes, you are too much to handle, you know?" Alijah teased, pulling away from my chest to show the biggest smirk planted on his face.

He was too beautiful to be real. Those crimson red eyes, his figure... Everything that made him... Alijah was wonderful. I reached for his cheeks, slowly tracing my fingers down his dark circles.

"I’ve been told that." I simpered, pulling myself up to kiss Alijah on his forehead.

By the gods, I loved him. Murderous and all, I loved everything about him.

Maybe I can hope... No, that’s an error... I’m no match for her. For his true love. I’m just an interloper in this, yet... I don’t want to let go of him.

My feelings were overflowing again.

"Oi... That’s not fair play." Alijah pouted with a low growl, tugging me to clash with his lips.

After everything we had done, without hesitation, I kissed him back. He had done so many times before when we were... But this one was sweeter. Our tongues intertwined together, leaving me to enjoy his lips that put me in a daze.

Pulling away from me, he gave me a moment to breathe before doing it again. When we separated again, he licked his lips, enjoying my taste on him. It tempted me so badly that I almost lost my reason.

Don’t... misunderstand, Rem. This wolf... has someone else in his heart. This is just child's play for him.

Alijah went to kiss me again, only for me to stop him, but not because I did not want to. We needed to go before the sun came up, which would be at any moment.

"We should go," I mumbled, holding my hand towards his lips.

He clicked his tongue, pulling away from me, nodding in agreement. We struggled a bit to get off the floor, but we rummaged around the house for any supplies that would be useful for us. Wyatt did not need them anymore. I picked up my bag and stuffed it with anything useful I found. Though, much to my surprise, my headphones and player were in it.

Alijah had picked them up in all that chaos with the demon, without knowing how important they were to me. Though they had become irrelevant while Alijah was around. Surely, and steadily, I would need them again since the ghosts would surely flood me when he left.

While I looked for anything useful in the kitchen, my wolf suddenly grabbed me by my tail, startling me. I glared at him, triggering him to chuckle in response to my hostility. Though I think he was enjoying the scare, he had given me more.

"You should shower," Alijah said, glancing down to my tail that was a bit bloody from...

Oh...

My cheeks felt like they were burning, yanking away my blood-stained silver tail away from his hands.

"I’ll wash it later in a river or something. Let’s leave here already." I mumbled, trying to hide my embarrassment that was once again showing.

Alijah sighed in response, turning around, heading for the door.

"Just don’t talk to anyone," he warned, picking up his bag.

I grumbled in response, grabbing all the stuff I found to hide all the actions that occurred in this house. This was to make sure no one could discover all the embarrassing things that happened.

After all, I could not care less that Wyatt was dead. However, everything else...

Those... need to stay a secret forever!

"I won’t be speaking to anyone. After all, I’m about to commit another crime." I smirked.

It caused Alijah to turn to me, utterly baffled by what I was saying. I mean, I already was an outlaw. Even though it had happened in Celestelia, I killed many without really wanting to. This was different, though.

I was about to do this willingly and fully consciously. Arson was no joke, too. I had not thought at the time, but they made the entire village of wood.

"You are going to do what?" he questioned, perplexed.

Instead of answering him right away, I spilled all the alcohol; I found in the living room. With a little accelerant, this wooden house would surely burn, and alcohol was very flammable.

"I’m going to set this house on fire," I informed the wolf, causing him to wonder if there was something wrong with my head.

Even though he was tired, he did not like that idea at all. After all, it would bring complications. If my brothers were still in town, they would surely see it, but... I also knew it would be inevitable for them to find this house again after we left.

Wyatt was a dead healer, and someone would surely come looking for him.

"Isn’t that going to attract more attention?" Alijah asked in disbelief at what I was about to do, yet I did not care.

I turned to him, taking out a matchbox I found on one shelf. The elf had many useful things.

"I kind of don't care," I smirked, shaking the box.

Alijah growled loudly, not liking at all what I was about to do.

"Oi, you aren't the one running!" He huffed, visibly annoyed too.

Those brows of his were crunched up. This was all because he would have to put more effort into getting away from here. But that would have to be a sacrifice that needed to be made. If anyone saw what had happened in this house. I would...

"I can’t let anyone know all that happened here," I sighed, turning away from him. 

There was no use in trying to explain it to him. After all, it would have been silly. My wolf grabbed onto my hand, worried about something else other than the fire I was about to set.

"I thought you were fine with it," Alijah whispered, feeling off.

I noticed what my poor choice of words had done. It had nothing to do with him or what we had done. I could not turn around quicker, though.

Why can’t I be faster?

He had no reason to feel that way. I had to make sure.

"I’m fine with what we did! Just not fine with Caden or Aiden finding it. I’ll die, Alijah. Like I really will die if they see that!" I blurted out, clasping onto his shirt as my life depended on it.

My sudden outburst caused him to bite onto his lip before sighing again. He seemed relieved about something, though.

"Okay, okay. I get it. Hopefully, I won’t croak on the run to wherever we are going." Alijah complained a bit.

Even though we had just crossed a line. We were still normal, and it made me happier than it probably should have. Turning around to my masterpiece, I opened the box as I pulled out a match, as I finally answered his complaint.

"You’ll be fine, Alijah-tan. You have had worse, no?" I sassed, referring more to his days of rampage rather than his captive ones.

Surely, he had plenty of sleepless nights even being pushed to the limit in his revenge on the world. In response to my comment, Alijah suddenly grabbed me by my waist, tilting my head upward to meet his lips. His tongue invaded my mouth, swiftly taking the box away from me as he did so.

"Stop calling me that! And yes, I have had worse," Alijah growled, pulling away from me.

Luckily, I had other things in mind other than to allow myself to fall into a haze after he kissed me like that. Instinctively, I twirled around, trying to reach for the box. He held them out of my reach.

Ah... I did I piss him off? Why is he so tall? Stupid Lycan genes!

"I meant your rampaging days!" I squealed, trying to get him to give me the box.

Alijah shrugged, enjoying seeing me struggle.

"I don't care when you were referring to. I just want to make you beg for something." He teased me.

Punishment for what I had said, leaving me to grab onto him by his shirt, pulling him down slightly. There were many things I wanted to beg him for. To give me that box, to move on from his past, to love me, but I would not. I only wanted his happiness.

Fuck it.

If what we did was discovered, so be it. I would live with it.

"Do what you want," I mumbled, smothering my head against Alijah's chest.

He grumbled something, suddenly lighting the match with ease. Even though it was something new to him, it was not something hard to figure out. Much to my surprise, he pulled me into another kiss before throwing the match into the alcohol. In an instant, the floor caught fire.

Alijah jerked away from me, tugging me outside of the house, where he shifted into his beast form. With no hesitation, I climbed on him. The moment I was secure on his back, he bolted through the roads. Luckily, there was no one out since the sun was not out yet. And those who were out were by the memorials of the people lost.

Though it did not matter, the fire would surely wake them up eventually once it got out of control. After we were out of the village, Alijah ran for what felt like hours. Even though he had fought the beast and was exhausted, his recovery time was probably the fastest I had ever seen. Compared to Dad and my brothers, Alijah was on another level.

Sometimes, after going all out, my dad and siblings needed a full day to rest, yet Alijah had not slept at all. It exhausted, yet he ran just as fast as he had done before. He truly was a monster in his class, yet to me, he was also much more than that.

Even though Alijah should have been a terrifying being, I could not see him that way. Even when he killed someone in front of me, enjoying it so much that he wanted to fuck right after. It did not scare me. Then again, he had a drug in his system at the same time.

I was only concerned about what Wyatt had done. The thought of his fingers touching me made me feel disgusting, though Alijah's did not. His caress made me feel warm and blissful, even the feel of his fur, while I clung to him, gave me peace.

Sadly, none of this would have mattered once Lilith entered Alijah's life again. If only she remained dead... Then I... No, I could not allow myself to think like that. The name he first called out to in his delirium was hers, not mine. She was alive in his heart.

Only after he was back in his somewhat sound mind did he call for mine. I could not let myself be swayed by anything that had happened. He could have been doing this to control me for his means. Even though it would not work on me. He probably knew how I felt about him, even though I had not placed it into words.

I mean, he asked me straight up too. Somehow, I had to be stronger to remain on top, to protect my family from Edna and Alijah. I could not allow him to play me like a musical instrument, even though I wanted it so much. By the time we stopped running, the sun had risen to the middle of the sky. We had stopped far away from any villages.

Though, we picked to camp inside of a forest with a large lake. I did not know where we were, but surely we were far enough from Caden and Aiden. The only reason they tracked us there was because of the light I had given off. It had been like a homing beacon to follow.

Alijah laid down, huffing for air. I quickly got off him, looking through my bag for our water to give him. Behind me, he shifted back into his humanoid form. Finally, finding the damn bottle, I handed it to him before heading to pick up things to make a small fire.

Before collecting any more materials, I went to take out some food for us. That was when I noticed my wolf was so exhausted that after drinking the water, he passed out right where he laid without even taking his bag off. Not that I blamed him. I wanted to sleep too, but I was reluctant.

Without his warm fur, I needed a heat source to not suffer too much through the night. It was easy to collect all the things for the fire, and thankfully, the matches also helped in setting it. After it was blazing, I turned to help Alijah out of his bag.

I set a small cloth to be his pillow while he rested. His sleeping face seemed so peaceful that I could not hold myself back. Before I knew it, I kissed him on his cheek. When I noticed what I had done, I quickly withdrew from him.

I’m acting like his damn lover!

My cheeks burned hot, feeling conflicted by everything that had happened.

Though… none of this is his fault. I can’t blame him for anything. He didn’t make me fall for him. That was all me. And I hate my heart for picking a man who won’t choose me too.

My heart stung. I continued to make our camp. By the time I was done, the sun had gone and given rise to the moon. In Alijah's bag, there was food that we had brought from Wyatt's house. I turned towards the lake, sitting by the edge of the water.

Even though everything had exhausted me, I could not sleep. Everything that had happened was so surreal that I could not believe it. In the lake's distance, I saw a few orbs flying around the water's surface, away from Alijah and me.

For a moment, it brought me back to the first day I met Alijah. What I had felt for him that night was without a doubt what Dad said he felt for mom, the moment he pulled her out of that alley when they were kids. Alijah was my soul mate, which was painful to even admit because it meant I would always love him.

However, even if my wolf were mine, it did not mean I was his. Aunty Amelia had a soulmate once, but their marriage failed when her husband cheated on her. Being soulmates did not matter in the sense of feeling love for another. Sometimes it meant one side getting stuck while the other continues with their lives.

After that, Amelia never wanted to find love again. She preferred being alone, surrounded by her family.

Will that be how I feel after Alijah reunites with Lilith?

At least, aunty was not alone, she had us.

Will that be my fate, too? Alone in one aspect but rich in another?

She had always said; it was better to be alone than in poor company.

Is that true? I don’t want to be without him, though. Is this how you first felt, aunty? It’s miserable.

My heart throbbed while I sat there for a couple of hours, tormented by everything, leaving me unable to sleep or even think straight. Eventually, trying to forget about everything, I dipped my feet into the water, hoping to feel some relief.

My mouth dropped when I saw it light up yellowish-green. It was as if I were a fairy. I could not believe what we had randomly stumbled upon. For a moment, all my worries washed away. I rushed to Alijah, softly waking him up.

He had been asleep for a couple of hours, but if he did not wake up in time, he would have missed the bioluminescent lake. These things could only be found in Azear. They were wondrous and, of course, water-related.

The only reason people would visit the Ocean elves' lands was the food, these lakes, and the beaches. Though we were far from any shoreline, and it was better that way. Fewer tourists to worry about. The moment he arose from his sleep, he grumbled, wiping his eyes.

Once he was up, I dropped water on the fire to quench it. It was not as cold as I thought it would be, and any light source other than the moon would ruin the experience. Even though the wolf was dead tired, I helped him up, leading him towards the edge of the water.

I was excited, since these lakes were a rare find. There were only five in the entire nation. The popular ones were the ones near the beaches. And it seemed this one was isolated. So, wasting this opportunity was something I wanted to avoid.

After all, I always wanted to see one in person rather than behind the screen of my phone. I never thought I would miss that piece of tech junk, but how I wished I had it with me to take a picture of this moment. Yawning, Alijah sat down where I took him, allowing me to go back and grab him for something to eat.

The starry night seemed so beautiful, too. Everything was so perfect, if only we were romantically involved. Shaking that thought aside, I handed a jerky bag and water to Alijah, who ate quietly. I also ate next to him. Most of the time, he stared up towards the sky while I stole glances of him instead.

On this journey, my heart would die, but at least my wolf would be happy. After eating, he glanced at me, wondering why I had woken him up after all the running he had endured. By now, our eyes had adjusted to the night.

Taking the chance, I acted, suddenly standing up before I taking off my clothes. I shook my embarrassment away, too. After all, it was not like he had not seen everything already. He seemed to be caught by surprise, though.

"What are you doing?" Alijah questioned my intentions.

I continued to take off everything, throwing everything to the side. It was not like my body ever make him react to me willingly.

"You wanted me to shower, right, Alijah-tan?" I smirked, trying to tease him a bit.

He tilted his head in response. It was almost as if it rubbed off.

Failure…

Even though my playful moment crashed, I wondered if he had ever seen one of these types of lakes before. When I started this journey with him, it was to make him see how beautiful the world was. Even with all the jerks and asses in it.

For that, I would have to push aside all my emotions, doubts, and pains. My goal was to make Alijah happy, at least while he was with me. I wanted to own his smile for the time he was with me. Once all my clothes were off, I slowly made my way into the water, lighting up all the way.

The water was warm, too. What was more fun, though, was that I seemed to be a fairy. It lit up from any slight movement I did, and it was amazing. Even the wolf seemed amazed by it, too.

"How are you doing that?" Alijah asked curiously about what was happening, standing up from where he was.

It seems the brief rest and meal were enough to give him the energy to continue.

"It’s magic." I teased, unable to help myself.

Though, I felt horrible when I saw Alijah genuinely amazed by it.

It was almost as if he had seen nothing so beautiful before in those crimson orbs of his. He had said most of his freed life was dictated by the elders, and the other two he had spent with Lilith in moon elf territory.

So maybe I had hit the jackpot with this one. It surely seemed like it because his expression was one I would die for.

Ah... How I wish I could take a picture to frame it in my room for when he is gone. Bare it, Rem. Memorize everything so you can relive it in your dreams.

"Really?" Alijah seemed like a small child.

His tail slowly wagged side by side. I could not help but feel utterly guilty for deceiving him a bit. Though I was enjoying it. His adorable side was one I wanted to flourish. Though, I had to fix my little lie.

"No," I giggled, triggering him to narrow his eyes and frown, noticing he was being teased by me again.

I could not help but chuckle, enjoying that expression, too. Unable to help myself, I got closer to the shore, grabbing onto his hand, smiling.

"Come join me. It’s little organisms that live here. They are magical little things to create this. Although it’s science rather than magic, so I was not lying too much about it." I clarified.

He tilted his head, unsure if to believe me this time, seemly annoyed by my previous tease, too, but he would give me another try.

"I’ve seen nothing like this," Alijah mumbled.

I pulled on his hand a bit, trying to encourage him to come to join me in the water that was far from cold. Though I was embarrassed that he was seeing all of me again. It was something I would try to drown.

All that mattered was him. I was secondary in all of this. After all, he had given me more than I ever thought I would have.

The kisses, the fucking...

It was enough to last me a lifetime. Every part of me still felt warm.

"Then come see how it feels on your skin!" I invited the little hesitant wolf again.

My words caused him to smirk. He took it differently from what I meant. In an instant, he pulled away from me to take off his clothes. I could not help but turn away before I saw too much.

Come to think of it, I haven’t looked down on my body since Alijah took off my stitches.

I welcomed any distraction, after all, I was also curious to see if there were any scars left. Under the moonlight, I inspected myself to see if I could notice if they had left anything, but instead of finding that. I saw tiny marks on my body. Especially around my breast.

My cheeks flushed red, remembering Alijah biting me.

Had he done that so my body would slow down in healing again? Did he do that, so these little contusions stayed for at least a day before my healing sped back up? What a jerk... doing these things even though I... can never do the same to him. Or can I? No…

Even if my bite would cause the same effects, he was not mine to mark. Though he already owned my heart. A sting pulse through me while I tried to not let the pain make the wrong choices for me.

"What’s the matter, Rem? Did you just notice them?" Alijah purred into my ear, unaware of my train of thought.

A yelp left my lips when he grabbed me from behind, holding one of my hands up while the other traveled down my curve, landing on my abdomen. He was teasing me again, that much I knew, but the warmth his hands left on me was too real to ignore. My heart could not handle him, making my body shiver at his touch.

Not from fear, but from anticipation. He owned more than just my heart. He owned everything I had to give. Even if he did not want it, it was his.

"You jerk..." I grumbled a bit, not wanting to pull away from Alijah's touch.

Though I feared being consumed by it. No... I wanted to be consumed by him, but that was someone else’s role. If only... she would remain dead.

Wouldn't that be just lovely? You would be mine to claim.

That thought left me feeling hollow. Caden was right about me. There was a darkness in me, growing. I was dangerous.

To what extent am I willing to go for him?

"Am I?" Alijah chuckled, holding me close to his chest.

He threw himself into the water, causing ripples everywhere. It was beautiful. The way his body and mine shone in the water. My back was on his chest while he held me close. This was not fair at all. I felt like I wanted to kill Lilith to keep him.

This was something I had to bury down at all costs. I had to drown it before it found her and destroyed her.

"Yes," I mumbled, trying to keep a hold of myself.

I had created this situation. If I had just left Alijah to sleep, perhaps I would have been able to prepare myself. Yet I wanted to show this beauty to him. I desired him to smile, and he was. Although he was also teasing me.

"Why?" Alijah licked where he had bitten me the day before.

The warmth of his tongue left me was dazzling. Why couldn't I enjoy the moment? Not think of the future until it came. Was it because I knew I would have to give it up? I turned around to face him. His beautiful crimson eyes glowed a bit in the night.

Though they were outshined by the starry sky above him. He had set his hair loose before he had gotten into the lake, too. While I was in awe of the wolf in front of me, he held me by my waist with one hand. The other found its way to my cheek.

I almost choked on what I was about to answer him with.

Why is he looking at me like I’m precious to him? Why are those eyes that were so full of rage and pain before, full of bliss now?

Alijah was happy. I had made him like that. My heart throbbed, feeling it race faster with each passing moment. Seeing him like this made me realize how beautiful he was. Mom was right when she said he was the second prettiest Lycan she had ever seen.

Dad being the first, of course. Though to me, he was nothing more than an old fart compared to Alijah. Though I could not deny that Dad had his moments. After all, I was closest to him and my brothers, out of everyone in my family.

Ah... Alijah has a beauty mark right under his right eye that I had not noticed before. Alijah... I want your heart, your soul, your everything. I... wish to claim you for myself. Can I?

But... my happiness did not matter. I wanted to heal him. That was all that mattered.

"Because..." I stopped.

The words I wanted to say flowed into my mind.

Because I love you, Alijah, but you are never meant to be mine. Because the moment she comes back, no matter what form, you will embrace her. While I will have to let go for you to be happy. Because I love you so much that it makes me want to murder everyone who would dare hurt you.

Even myself. I would kill myself if it made you happy. Did you know that? Which it probably should have on that first day, huh? But if I died, then you would have probably been hurt or worse. Because I would do everything for you. Because I want to be in your world. Something I could never be because someone else was already there.

By the gods, I love you.

"Because?" Alijah traced my lips with his thumb.

I love you!

I simpered in return. Unable to answer what I started. I should have, but I was terrified if I said it. It would solidify my love for him in a way I could not control. So instead, I turned it into something.

"Because I probably could never mark you as you did to me, Alijah-tan." I tried to make it more superficial.

Alijah chuckled a bit in response, pressing his forehead against mine. This was too warm.

Please... be the usual grump... Tell me to fuck off. Stop stirring my heart.

"Hah, you want to try?" Alijah suddenly proposed.

It left me dumbfounded for a moment.

He let me do that. Is not it something only for Lilith to do? Although... come to think of it, he probably had many Lycan girls do that to him while he was being raped. Mira was the name of one of them, right?

The one who marked him so bad that she used men to steal away every ounce of good that was in him. That was probably his most recent sex-related experience rather than what had happened in Wyatt’s house.

I... want to wash it away. Control, Rem... Control yourself!

"No, I could not possibly..." I tried to back off.

Alijah did not let me, though. Suddenly, he shoved his thumb into my mouth, inspecting my fangs. They were not as sharp as a normal Lycan, but they could deal some damage. I had bitten no one consciously before, though.

"Bite me, Rem. Try it," he attempted to get me to do it teasingly.

I tugged away slightly. He was still holding me so close, though.

"There’s no point. You’ll heal and I don’t want to hurt you." I argued back.

He sighed, grabbing onto the back of my head, pushing my face towards his shoulder.

"Rem, do it," Alijah continued to entice me.

I did not know how much longer I could hold back. He did not know how much I wanted to try it. Wash away everything that bitch had done to him. But was it okay for me to do it? Wasn't that something even more forbidden?

"But I..." I mumbled, trying to not think too much.

My chest was on his, holding little space between us. He was too strong to get away from. If I wanted to, I could have ordered him to back off, but... I desired him.

No, I...

"Do it as hard as you can, sweetheart," Alijah murmured into my ear before licking my neck.

I could not handle it anymore. The temptation was taking over. I was about to lose it, but not without one more attempt to stop it.

"You didn’t do it like that!" I yelped, while Alijah nipped me a bit.

Not like the other time, though. He was not budging from where he was, either. Every slight movement made the water glow under us. Alijah chuckled in response while gently nibbling on my shoulder, close to where he had bitten me before. Shivers ran down my body when he pulled away, doing the same to my ear. Stopping, his breath landed on my neck again.

Torture.

"No, I didn’t do it hard, but my fangs are sharper than yours, little luma. My skin is also a lot thicker. So... bite as you mean it. I won’t let you go until you mark me." Alijah whispered.

I could not resist the temptation any longer. It felt like my heart was in my throat. If he allowed me to do it, then I would archive this memory in the most precious place I could ever place it in. Along with every other memory I had with him, so I could relive it in my dreams when he was gone.

With a brief hesitation, I bit down on the teasing wolf's shoulder, making him groan in pain. A metallic taste flooded my mouth at that moment, too.

"Good girl. Now... suck on my skin like you mean it, too. Or it won’t leave a mark," he instructed.

Before doing as he said, I licked the wound much like he had done to me. The taste of his blood, although metallic, was also rather sweet. Lycans used to eat their enemies, so perhaps that was part of what I was feeling. An instinct.

Much to my surprise, my bite stayed visible on the wolf’s skin as fresh blood spilled out of it. If anything else would have caused it. It would have healed up right away. He let me go free from his grasp. It was so I could mark him as he had marked me, though.

Embarrassment filled me when I slowly pressed my lips on his chest. Fearing I would try to run away again, he grabbed hold of my head, again preventing me from any escape. Letting go of the useless emotions that were swelling, I caressed his chest as he had done to me.

A low moan came from his lips while he did not let me go. I continued to suck on parts of his skin, leaving behind the same marks he had done to me. Getting to the nob on his pectus, I licked before sucking on it, causing him to shiver a bit.

"Rem..." Alijah breathed out my name.

I could not stop caressing him, though. It was almost as if a box of emotions flooded me again. I wanted to hear more of his adorable, husky voice... his moans... of everything he offered. Unable to take it any longer, he tugged me to face him, biting his lip.

He seemed to want something from me.

"If you keep doing that, I’m going to pounce on you again." He warned, eyes shining brightly again.

Did I turn him on? Ah... I’m glad.

"Pounce me?" I mumbled, not quite catching what he meant.

My mind was so jumbled up by what I did. He traced his thumb again on my bottom lip, trying to control himself.

"Yes... I want to fuck you again, Rem. That’s what I mean." Alijah clarified his warning.

I did not care. I wanted him to do it. My body yearned for it, too.

"Then... do it." I welcomed anything this wolf would want to do to me.

His cheeks turned pink, shaking his head a bit before suddenly dunking it into the water, surprising me. He surfaced soon after, picking me up so my legs were around his waist again. The water made it easy for him to hold me up.

Though with his raw strength, it was negligible how much it helped him. His wet hair got stuck into his skin, holding me close. His lips hovered over mine, too. This tease was too much. Though the marks I had done to him were still visible, I did not know for how long it would be. Probably for a few hours at most.

"I think I ran empty earlier, though. So, I’ll probably shoot blanks into you," Alijah informed me.

I cared nothing about his seeds. An offspring was the last thing I was thinking of when I was with him. I wanted him and only him. Baby making or not, anything that he wanted, I would try to give him. Even if it meant losing myself. There was no way to hold my emotions back.

"I... don’t care about that. All I want is you, Alijah. Not your sperm or..." I stopped, noticing I had slipped.

My cheeks turned a red that could rival blood itself. My wolf also reacted the same, though a smile rose on his lips, one that I never expected to see. It was full of something... I did not want to label it. That was when I panicked, though. I had slipped after all.

Oh, dear...

The train wreck began...

"Did you know you were not fertile before the blood moon? You should also know that it’s hard for me to get pregnant. So, you could fuck me all you want, and I probably won’t get knocked up. One perk of being a-" I ranted until Alijah shut me up by crashing his lips into mine.

His tongue invaded my mouth. I could not help myself but respond to him.

Ah... I’ll have to go far away from him once Lilith came back. Will she be angry if I stole a little piece of him for myself? Or... all of him?

He pulled away from me to breathe, leaving me a hot mess.

"Knocked up? Is that what they call it now? You really are stupid, aren’t you?" Alijah chuckled, causing my heart to flutter like a butterfly in the sky.

Why... how... I need to know.

"What?" I mumbled, confused about why I was being called that.

He snickered again.

"Telling that to a man is like telling him to fuck you nonstop. It doesn’t matter if I’m fertile or not. You should be warier of your words, little Rem." Alijah teased, causing me to growl in response.

I did not enjoy his view on this matter. Tugging me for another quick kiss, he pulled away from my lips soon after.

"Though... It’s a good thing I did not conceive because of that." Alijah added, breathing in, brushing me on my lips with his.

The desire to kiss him only grew, but he was not done.

"How lucky was I to have you, of all people, to be stuck to? You are so different from everyone I have met, Rem. You are something that I want to taint so badly." He growled playfully, grabbing my head with both of his hands.

Lucky my legs were still on his waist; the water was helpful for something. This was dangerous, though. I... was about to slip again. I could not slip anymore.

Please... don’t slam my heart open just to crush it later.

"Is it because I am a Silver Fang?" I tried to shift the conversation in one last-ditch to turn things around.

Alijah shook his head, kissing me again. This time until I was short of breath. Just where was all this energy coming from?

"No, stupid girl, because you are you. I don’t care where you come from. You are the first person to make me want to give this world a shot. The first person I wanted to be marked by. If... there is even the possibility that there are more people like you around. Maybe it isn’t such a terrible place. Though... I’m not fully sure of it myself.” He stopped, gazing at me, cheeks rosy.

My heart… it was…

“So... you’ll have to show me more of it, Rem. Show me more of this beautiful world that you live in." Alijah declared, slamming my heart wide open.

I could not hold my emotions back anymore. It had been more than a week since we had met, yet I... Alijah was everything I wanted, and I was something new to him. A smaller chuckle came out of him, thinking of something. It caused him to bite his lip a bit.

"I kind of want to make you cry, Rem, but not of sadness or pain. It’s a first for me." Alijah suddenly confessed.

It left me hopeful upon hearing those words.

Can he choose me? No... No... can he? No... my time with him doesn’t compare to Lilith's. But… can I have him for the time you aren’t here? Please… I’ll give him back. I promise.

"Alijah... what about..." I attempted to defuse the moment, but he stopped my words with another kiss.

It was a short one, though my heart was fluttering.

"Don't... We cross that when we get there, okay?" Alijah purred, tracing his hands down my back.

Clasping them on my bum, we became one again. Unable to help myself, I feverously kissed him. He was not about to let me think of anything else but him. Every movement caused ripples to shine around us while we held each other.

He had won. I allowed myself to be carried by the moment of passion, without caring, if he was doing this to get me to bend to him. Or if it was for something else. He was evil, but not the type of malevolence everyone thought him to be.

At least to me. Even though... all that awaited me was agony when Lilith came back. For now, I would enjoy these moments that I had with Alijah. I would indeed show him everything the world could offer him.

Unable to hold my feelings back, I let loose everything. Tugging away from the kiss, saliva connected us again as it dripped down both our chins. At that moment, I hugged him so tightly, as his moans hit my ear.

My entire body was moving to his rhythm. His head seeped into my skin, leaving me broken.

"I love you," I suddenly confessed, tears rolling down my eyes.

My words triggered Alijah to stop thrusting into me. Slowly, he separated himself enough to see my face. His eyes were so red. I traced my fingers on his lips, waiting for him to say something, but all he did was gaze at me like I had said something forbidden.

Until I repeated it.

"I love you, Alijah. I adore you." I professed to him again.

He seemed utterly surprised by my words, kissing me lightly on my lips. It was so gentle.

"I... I... say it again," he whispered.

I closed my eyes, knowing I had lost to my heart. It doomed me to feel suffering I wanted to avoid. An agony that I... could not escape from, but I would show him everything I wanted to give to him. Including my beating heart that he held in his hands.

"I love you," I continued to repeat.

Alijah moved again, this time more passionately than before. Under the moonlight, we embraced, until he washed away my world. My one and only true soul mate. If only it were true for him. What I would give to make it true for him. To be his one and only, but it was not always like that for us.

Aunty Amelia and Grandma Siva were both victims of this emotion. It seemed we Silver Fang women always had the short stick for love. Both their mates had cheated on them with another. Here, though... Alijah was cheating with me on his true love.

Ah... Why... does it have to be like this?

Even though I was being flooded with kisses and pleasure, Alijah could not wash away my fear. My agony. Those would be permanent. I was terrified of what was to come, even while the surrounding scenery was magical.

Dread filled me, of the day when Alijah finally chose Lilith over me.