Everything around me felt surreal. Lilith had jumped Alijah, who appeared stunned to even find her here. All I ever expected was to find a soul, not a full living body. We were both in shock; I guess. He grabbed onto her shoulders, peeling her away from him. She was smiling, happy to see him.

Everything I feared was coming true, and what was worst was that Edna was still alive. I had lost my love and freedom in one swoop.

Is it too late to order him to kill me? Probably...

Now that Lilith was here, I could not dare even say so. It could harm her. Could I order him to run with her after he had done so? Maybe... But then, many people would die for such a selfish reason. And who knew if he was fast enough to outrun me.

While I was still trying to adjust, Alijah tried to make sense of what was happening. Unlike me, he was not ready to accept everything as a given.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned, unable to believe that Lilith was in front of him.

He was skeptical that she was even real. Sadly, she was. I felt the warmth from her hands on my own. That alone clarified she was no illusion. I could almost feel like an icy grip took over my soul. If... only she was not here, then he would be mine.

Yet I could do nothing to hurt him. Not in that way, at least.

This sweet pain is worth it for his happiness.

"I was waiting for you! I knew you would come for me, Ali!" Lilith beamed at him, who was already overly hesitant on the entire ordeal.

It appeared like having her right in front of him was too much for him to process. After all, the last time he had seen her, she was in a pool of her blood. And that happened six thousand years ago.

"You were dead, Lilith," he declared, pulling away from her.

The moment those words left his mouth, Lilith clasped her hands onto her chest, trying to analyze what Alijah said to her. For a moment, she glanced around the surrounding space before returning her grey orbs onto him.

"I can tell something happened to our village. It’s almost as if time passed without me being aware of it, but I died? That’s something hard to swallow." Lilith mumbled, reaching for Alijah's hand, only for him to jerk away from her.

He seemed reluctant to accept her.

Is it because of me? Will I cause mayhem in this too?

No... it was probably too much for him to handle. I had blind-sighted him. He needed time to adjust. All while I would never feel him again. My chest felt like there was a hole there.

"Yes, you died six thousand years ago," Alijah informed, taking a few steps towards where I was.

He did not keep his eyes off her. Though the way he gazed at her was not tender.

"Oh... I died... And it hurt, didn't it?" Lilith mumbled, glancing towards the ground, shivering.

She was reliving the last memory she had of this world.

"My memory seems hazy. I remember feeling pain. Then everything got cold and lonely before waking up here." The elf informed, grabbing onto Alijah's arm before he could get too far from her.

It seemed she would need to regain his trust before he would let her in. Either way, it did not concern me anymore. She was here, and I had to back off. Focus... on something else other than them. That thing being the witch that caused me to be imprisoned in my home.

Not that I could find her by myself, but at least get a lead. Any advantage, so when I came back to my family, it would help them find her.

"You remember anything else?" I stepped into their conversation, feeling ice cold.

My voice lacked any warmth. I would not let myself break in this moment. No... I would do it when I was alone. Upon hearing me, Lilith gazed at me as I tried to act like myself. Though, Alijah could see right through it. Maybe if I could keep it up, he would believe it too.

My name left his lips before the elf spoke.

"Hm... I think there was a lady here when I woke up, who told me to stay here. She said she was coming back, but I don't know where she went." Lilith answered, shrugging.

Of course, she would not know a thing. That was silly of me. I nodded, turning away from them. I could not bear seeing her touch Alijah anymore. It hurt.

"I see," I mumbled, glancing in front of me.

The scenery was all too quiet. It was almost eerie, with all the white that surrounded us. Though the grass below was still green. All that flooded my mind was how I would get over the fact that I lost it all. My freedom was no closer to me, and the love of my life was gone in one swoop.

I hoped to travel the world even if Alijah was gone. That was the one thing keeping me standing, but that dream vanished with Edna alive. And there was no way my wolf would hunt for the witch with Lilith. So, it left an unstable me to do it all.

Another impossible dream...

In the distance, I saw an orb floating away from Alijah's radius. It seemed to catch my attention. Well, it was not like I could block them out once… That did not matter. Thinking that perhaps a ghost might have seen more than Lilith, I slowly took a few steps towards it.

In the meantime, Lilith tried to make amends with Alijah, who seemed utterly reluctant to let her near him. However, this time he was having a hard time pulling away from her. She clung to his arm with her full weight, not allowing him to escape. Their conversation became muffled when I got closer to the orb. Others also appeared near it too.

'They want to capture the Lycan and kill you by using the elf!' The ghost warned me, snapping me out of my self-pity.

A trap?!

I turned to Alijah, trying to warn them, only for it to be too late. A sharp pain came from my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. The only words that left my mouth were a small groan. Before I could see what caused it, dark chains erupted around, separating me from Lilith and Alijah. Some of them wrapped around my legs and arms, too.

After being bound, I saw a small blade embedded in my shoulder. Whoever had thrown it had lousy aim if they had been targeting my heart or head. However, the effects soon followed it. Allowed me to know they hit the mark. The blade had been laced with something. Wolfsbane? Iris?

If it was the latter, then it would not be the first time someone exposed me to it. No, but they would not know that. They would have only known I was a luma. Though I was hiding it, so I could only wonder how they would know.

Unless Edna and her followers suspected that Fenris's hybrid daughter was involved with Alijah's disappearance. Lumas were like Lycans for poisons. Though, Iris had barely any effect on me thanks to the part I inherited from my mother. Wolfsbane, however, would have dropped me dead before reviving.

Well, if my roof stunt still held up. Whatever it was in my system was making me feel the first side effects. The last time Iris had been in me was when I was a Lycan, so I did not feel the initial effects. And it was probably in less quantity than it was in this blade.

After all, it only took a bit to drive a Lycan insane. The raiders used a small capsule since Iris was expensive to get. Yet the amount of liquid that dripped out of the weapon embedded into my shoulder let me know. These attackers were not in any shortage.

My body felt warm as my vision blurred a bit. In my field of view, my wolf seemed to have gone missing. He probably was pushed into one building by the chains with Lilith. For a moment, I was alone on the battlefield. My breathing was unstable. But the sting that came from my shoulder was worse.

It would not be long before a figure appeared in front of me from a portal made of darkness. Edna had access to magics I had never seen. Yet again, she was older than anyone else in this world. So, it was a given that she knew more about the world than I. My attacker stared at me, snickering.

It was not long before they took off their hood to reveal a blond man with deep blue eyes. He was not alone. No, there were twenty or more accompanying him from the distance. The unknown man grabbed me by my chin, tearing off my wig. I glared at him, not fearing him. I always lacked feeling dread when faced with death.

Perhaps it was because I knew I could not die. However, I could tell this man hated me. The expression of his blue orbs was full of it, and it fascinated me. I had never met him, yet he loathed me. It was a familiar expression I used to get from other Lycans in Silverant. Or from anyone that knew I was a hybrid.

However, in this man's case, it was different. He could not care less what I was. To him... all that mattered was who I was.

"What a catch. You are a spawn of that bitch, but no matter. It’s better for me. I’ll make you suffer, as she did to me all those years ago." The mysterious warlock huffed.

I could not help but laugh. Instead of letting me go, he gripped on me tighter, drawing those blue eyes of his closer to my face.

"What is so funny, mongrel?" the warlock questioned.

I smirked at him as darkness suddenly radiated from me. He knew nothing of what he was provoking. I was already in a grim mood, but someone was worse than me. And he was keen on protecting me, too. A red aurora shone from one house, growing bigger with each second that passed.

"I want to see you try," I smirked, shifting my eyes towards my wolf.

I knew where he was. Thankfully, I saw the blinding aura from out of the only houses standing.

"Alijah, do what you want!" I screamed hard enough for him to hear me.

My chest shone red, too. The bond we shared was responding to his desire to save me. It was almost as if his power became mine for a couple of seconds. The surrounding chains shattered when Alijah's presence within me canceled all magic around us.

I had not noticed what happened, or that my body was glowing the same color as his. All I could think about was how his radius was insane. For him to reach this far when my father could only do a few meters around him. Alijah was a monster to be rightfully feared.

In an instant, half of the warlock's forces were gone from one of Alijah's attacks, as well as any scenery that was behind them. Upon seeing that, the warlock yanked himself away from me. I would not let him get away, though. Instinctively, I grabbed onto his arm, dragging him to the ground with me.

Seizing the knife stuck on my shoulder, he tore it away on our way down. I moved past the pain it caused, pinning his arms to the ground. Blood dripped down my arm and chest.

"Ouch, you surely know how to treat a girl," I growled, feeling annoyed at the pain.

At least I was not losing control. So it was not wolfsbane. But the blood that flowed out of the wound let me know it was Iris. It would have been healing by the time he yanked it out otherwise. They would not dare to use it against Alijah, who had decimated their forces in two blinks of the eye.

It seemed Lilith was with him, too, so she was safe.

Pity. I guess... I’m the only one who’ll lose it all today.

My heart was hollow.

"So, the rumors are true. You really are immune to Iris." The warlock noted.

I snapped one of his arms, causing him to set out a mighty scream before grabbing his throat into my newly free hand. Back in Silverant, my great grandfather once tried to kill me with Iris. I was a disgrace to his family, after all. That was before he croaked.

Back then, I was only thirteen. It had been after the accident. He visited the manor in pretenses and fed me, Iris. That was when my family found out I was immune to most witchcraft. This applied even if ingested. Much like Wyatt’s love potion.

For that rumor to have been circling through Edna’s channels, it meant that witch had moles everywhere. Most people did not know the reason my great grandfather died, but it was my Shade who did it. She had been following us when she saw what he did.

Of course, there was not a piece of him left to find after she was done. Not that my mother cared, father did not either. That man had tried to harm their baby girl. In their eyes, he was no longer family. Even aunty Amelia did not mourn for him.

Being so close to the warlock, I could see him better. Those beautiful eyes were full of agony thanks to the arm I had broken. It legitimately surprised me he was handsome under all that malevolence. Too bad he was working for that old hag.

There was a weird aura coming from him, though. I could not point what it was.

"Where is your mistress?" I questioned.

He suddenly laughed, which completely threw me off.

What the fuck? Are all of Edna's minions this insane?

It shattered my attention when his broken arm suddenly healed. He used the moment of surprise to grab me by the back of my head, pulling me towards him. It caused me to let go of his throat to catch myself.

"My lips are sealed, mutt." The warlock announced, centimeters away from my lips. 

A second later, they were on me. A pulse of energy flowed through me. It was followed by something within me breaking. The sensation caused me to yank away faster than I thought I would ever go. My mind was blank, unable to understand why he would ever do that.

I covered my mouth, trying to wipe off the feeling. It was disgusting. Much to my horror, Alijah was in front of us. The expression in his eyes was probably the scariest I had ever seen him have in all the months I spent with him. Probably the same as he had with Wyatt.

His arm was high up as his murderous intent skyrocketed. He was about to rain down chaos on us when Lilith hugged him from behind, stopping his attack. It threw him off balance. A dark portal appeared under the warlock.

"That’s enough, Cain. Back down." A voice I had never heard of whispered from within the shadows.

A woman...

The man named Cain licked his lips, slightly disappearing from my sight and into the shadows below.

"Wait!" I muttered, snapping out of my shock.

In an instance, I tried to reach for him while he smiled at me.

"Bye-bye mutt, we’ll meet again." Cain declared, smirking before vanishing into the abyss, leaving me again with no lead.

I tumbled onto my knees the moment he left. A curse left my lips, trying to stand up, only to stumble again. Alijah jerked himself away from Lilith's grasp, running towards me to catch me as I gave out.

The Iris was slowing me down more than I thought. Perhaps the dose…

Shit!

It was stronger than the one the raiders had used on me before. I tried to tell my wolf I was fine, but he suddenly pulled me up to meet with his face. It was almost as if he were about to kiss me, only for Lilith to stop him in his tracks when she pushed him aside to aid me.

My heart had stopped for a moment, but maybe it was my imagination. A wish to get rid of the sensation Cain had left behind. There was no way my wolf would want to kiss me in front of his past love. I could barely shake the feeling the other man's lips left on mine, though.

I had kissed no one else. It seemed I was right to push off all those men before things got too serious. The feeling of kissing another was too disturbing for me. This was a new feeling. One I could not wash away. After all, Alijah was out of my reach now.

Even though I was not sure if that was all the kiss did. My body felt different, and I could not tell why. Though it probably was nothing important. Especially when Lilith said nothing about it. In an instant, the elf's mode changed from happy goer to worker. Her expression was serious while her magic was warm on my skin.

She attempted to help assist my healing factor while also trying to help my human side as well. It was beautiful to look at her perform it. Though she would never heal the wound that was hurting the most. No one could.

After fixing all she could, she ripped her beautiful clothes for a piece of cloth. She wrapped the piece around my shoulder, using it as a bandage. The whole time, Alijah watched us quietly from the side. Though it was apparent he was annoyed.

"There, that should do it." Lilith snapped the silence, smiling at me.

She was one crazy medic. I could barely feel any pain at all anymore.

"Thank you," I voiced out, even though I felt like I was drowning in my heart.

It felt like a knot had formed in my throat.

"No, thank you for reuniting us." Lilith bowed her head.

Her words only left me in agony. The anguish that I had to hide behind a smile. But I was truly happy Alijah was reunited with her. She was the joy he searched for all these years. Though, I realized she seemed cheerful even though she had just been brought back from the dead.

Is it her gentle nature?

It did not seem like there were any effects of magic left within her. So, perhaps this was her personality. Usually, people were troubled... Well, lost souls were, at least.

"It’s fine, really. I didn’t do much at all." I assured her, wanting her to back off a bit.

In response, she giggled in disbelief, glancing at Alijah, who seemed to be in an awful mood, though he was quiet.

Is that his normal setting, even if she’s around? A grumpy wolf even if he saw the love of his life. Or maybe it’s the whole situation.

After all, he needed time to adjust. He was also bound to me. So, it was not like he was free to be with her.

Is he thinking I’ll hold him back like a scorned woman? It isn’t like I was preggers. I…

I should have reassured him; I would do nothing to hurt his love or him. Even if it killed me. But my voice was struggling to come out for anything anymore.

"Oh, I highly doubt that!" she announced, glancing at Alijah, who growled at her comment.

I never expected him to respond to her like that. It sounded more hostile than when he was with me.

"Geez, why are you so moody? Weren't you a big goof before I died? Although you seem a bit more mature now." Lilith teased him.

I felt like I wanted to step in. She had no right to tell him that. Not without knowing what he had endured. It was fine for him to be grumpy and moody. Even though I wanted to tell her off, it was not my place anymore.

So instead, I bit my tongue and stepped back. Lilith was not at fault, either. Being dead gave her a pass on being ignorant. Either way, it was something they would have to work out on their own. However, the situation was not good.

"We should get going," I tried to save the situation.

Upon hearing me, Lilith turned to me, nodding to confirm that was the best action.

"Oh yes! We should!" she agreed, beaming.

I glanced at Alijah, who narrowed his eyes upon doing so.

Ah... is he angry I’m here? Shit… I’m a burden for everyone.

"Are you sure you can hold on to me with your shoulder like that?" Alijah asked, unsure if I could handle his speed or even hold on at all.

I was weak, but not that pathetic. Maybe...

"Yes, I’ll be fine," I simpered, not sure if my wolf was worried because of me.

Or if I would slow him down in his effort to get Lilith somewhere safe. The simple fact that he was talking to me after what I had said made me happy. Though that would soon turn back into agony with Lilith's interception.

"Wait, we are riding Ali? You never let me do that before!" she jumped in between us, leaving me somewhat stunned by her revelation.

She never rode Alijah.

For an instance, it brought me back to the hot spring where I 'rode' him for a little while. My cheeks flushed red, remembering the previous night. Even though it was not what she meant. Though it was a blessing when my mind wandered to that night of warmth.

Ah... Yes, Alijah said no one had ever ridden him in the lake all those months ago. So... I was his first.

I won one part. He had also told me I was many of his first. Hope flowed through me.

Will he dream of me too?

"Eh?" I mumbled, trying to control my heart from misunderstanding.

Alijah huffed, flustered by the revelation.

"I didn’t do it because I liked it. Rem can't shift." He pointed out, growling at Lilith.

My heart felt like it tore out of me.

Ah... he didn’t like it.

Unable to lift my arm well, I clasped onto my shirt with both hands.

It hurts… It hurts… Don’t cry, Rem.

Even though it had nothing to do with what they were speaking, I could not help but feel disheartened by what he had said. And it was not because of the hot spring, but because every time I had ridden him made him uncomfortable. All the times I slept on him in his wolf form, it must have made him uneasy.

I’m horrible… I was so selfish. Not from the first night, but all those times I used him as a bed as we traveled.

All the while, I was the only one enjoying it.

It stung worse than I thought it would feel. I felt like I wanted to cry right where I was, but I pushed down my emotions. It would have to wait until the moment I was alone. Alijah allowed all of that, so I would not hold him back. I knew him loving me was never a possibility.

"A luma that can’t shift at all? That’s weird." Lilith took a bizarre glance at me before turning right back to Alijah.

"Still, you never took me out no matter how many times I asked you to." She complained.

He seemed bothered by her words and approach. Another thing that was my fault. If only I was not a faulty luma.

"Alijah allowed it, so I would not slow him down. That’s all, right?" I assured Lilith, trying to keep my emotions in check.

Though my voice felt like it was about to break at any moment. Was it always this hard to speak? It was heavy. Noticing something in my voice, Alijah tried to shake her off, gazing at me.

"No, Rem, that isn’t what-" he went to say, only to be interrupted by Lilith speaking, tugging on his shirt a bit.

"Oh, well, either way, we should get going. I’ll finally ride you after all this time! Chop, chop!" Lilith beamed happily, grabbing my wolf by his shirt, trying to pull herself up to his lips. 

He took a step back from her before she could reach them. It was shocking, but then again, he probably did not want me to see it after all we had done. He did not have to be considerate of me and my feelings. I was already broken.

"Ah... I have to..." Alijah avoided her, not letting her get another word out, shifting instantly right after.

For a moment, Lilith was stunned, but quickly shook it off.

"Later," she smiled.

I did not want to see the end of that promise. If it was one to begin with. Alijah was acting weirder than I thought. Though it did not matter to ponder it. They needed time, and she was right when she said we had to move. Who knew when they would attack again?

We had gotten lucky that time that Alijah could keep Lilith with us, but that did not mean they could not take her if they found us again. Especially when I was a handy cap for Alijah. Unable to help herself, Lilith jumped into his fur before he could even get down for us.

"So soft,” she purred.

Alijah growled, causing her to apologize for the sudden jump, but did not let go. For a moment, I stood there, slowly making my way towards them. It almost felt like I was an interloper getting into their space. Lilith reached with hand to help me up. Alijah laid on the ground to make it easier for me too.

Once on his back, I held onto Lilith while she grabbed onto his fur. That was when I realized I would never feel his fluff in my hands again.

Ah... life is becoming a painful thing to even think about anymore.

He and I were over in a split second. All I felt was my chest cavity became a hole that no one could fill. At least, he never cheated on me. No, I always knew he belonged elsewhere. After securing me safely on his back, he ran for what felt like hours, coming to a stop far away from where we were.

Lilith enjoyed the entire ride there, practically never stopped speaking. I mean, the dead would not stop talking either when they chatted. So, perhaps it was a side effect of being dead for so long. I did not want to judge her too harshly yet, but it was hard to keep up with her.

Just how was Alijah when he met her? Was he the same as today, or more of a goof, like she had said? Ah...

Jealousy was sprouting again. As she knew him in a way that I would never know. An Alijah lost in time, but one that I wished I could meet. Probably more innocent and loving than the present one. Our shelter for the night was a cave near a mountain in the meadows of Allora.

The surrounding forest was still white, however, there were different flora around. It added a bit more color to our surroundings. Even though Alijah could run fast, he could never outrun an entire continent in one day.

Though he got close, this time though thanks to my wound he could not run at top speed. And when it became clear, I probably could not hold anymore. He stopped in his tracks here. I felt utterly useless when I got off him, only for Lilith quickly to reassess my wound. Luckily, it seemed to heal a bit, even though I had Iris in my system.

Not like the couple knew. I never told them about the plant that had invaded my system. Though Alijah was already suspecting something was wrong. After all, the only times I took long to heal was when he bit me and when I saved him from the raiders. Though the cave also did a number on me, even though it was mostly out of my system by then.

While Lilith worked on me, Alijah kept his distance, watching me closely. It made me remember something my brother once said. Caden had complained about being the third wheel whenever he and Aiden hanged out with Sophie. I had always told him he was crazy to even think about it that way. But... if this is how he felt, then I was too harsh on him.

During this entire time, I never felt lonely while with Alijah, but ever since we found Lilith, it was all I felt. A feeling that was horrible and would never go away. When she finished assessing me, she turned around, jumped at my wolf.

Instead of meeting her embrace, he stepped towards me. She missed him by a few centimeters. Grabbing me by my good arm, he pulled me up onto my feet.

Ah... did I do something else?

"We need to talk," he started.

I felt my heart drop instantly. My heart replayed every scenario that could happen. None of the good ones, of course.

You need to break this bond now. I’ll be with her from now on. My focus is on her now. So, I need you to free me.

So on. He seemed serious, too.

Am I ready for that?

He had just been with me the night before. His scent and warmth still lingered on me.

Will that hold me through what’s coming next?

Before I could even speak, Alijah gently tugged me forward, only for Lilith to grab onto him again.

"Wait, where are you going?" Lilith asked, seemly worried about being left alone.

Alijah turned to her, but before he could even speak. I suddenly shoved him into her so hard that he lost his balance. He almost landed on her as if he had not caught himself.

I’m not ready for... Fuck! I know I have to give up. But I need the night to ready my heart. That’s all, right?

I was not ready after feeling his lips on me hours before. Dread filled me in ways I never thought possible. The way he held me was too addicting to want to give up.

Does it have to end? Can’t I be the side chick? Futile wish... He isn’t that type of man. You know that Rem. He will never want you again.

"He isn’t going anywhere! You have a lot to talk about. So, our talk can wait! He probably wanted to ask me to go get some wood or something." I blurted out, taking a few steps back.

Lilith did not know why I was acting this way. But Alijah growled loudly because of what I did.

Oh... I pissed him off yet again. For the hundredth time today?

It did not matter, though. I wanted to run away, and that was exactly what I was going to do. Run faster than he could speak.

"I’ll give you guys the chance to catch up. I bet there are a lot of things that Alijah wants to tell you. Right, Alijah-tan?" I ranted.

He shook his head slightly, not being able to believe what I was saying.

"Rem, don’t-" he began with an annoyed tone, only for Lilith to interrupt him, grabbing him by his arm lovingly.

Ah... I’ve never done that to him.

Not that he wanted my touch either way. I had already taken enough time from him. After all, I had mounted him, not caring for his feelings. I even used him as a bed when he hated it. He really should have told me. I never wanted to make him uncomfortable.

Then again, I was his captor. Of course, he would do anything to make me happy. Even… tell me he loved me. This… I was a pathetic being. Horrible and disgusting, too.

"That would be a great idea. After all, Rem's wound isn’t so bad. And a little alone time with you, I think I would love that." Lilith declared, tugging on his shirt, holding his arm hostage.

Alijah seemed uncomfortable, but that was probably because I was here. Once I was gone, he would not have to hold back.

Does he remember I cried the previous night? Did he figure out it was because of this? Had he cared a bit about me? Probably... I’m her reincarnations' daughter after all. Nothing more…

"Lilith, I-" Alijah tried to speak, but I did not want to hear him agree with her.

Anything he had to say to her could wait until I left. After all, I needed a bit of time to process everything.

"Okay then! I’ll be back later! Or tomorrow!" I announced, grabbing my bag, bolting away.

"Oi!" Alijah yelled, reaching for me.

Lilith tugged him back, preventing him from catching me, though. I mean, if he wanted to grab me, he could have. A little elf like her could never hold him, but he did not. The dark part of me wished he would have ripped her arms out trying to catch me, but there was no way he would do that to the love of his life.

No matter how bad of a lecture he wanted to give me. I ran from there until my arm stung from the exertion I was placing on my body. Panting, I grabbed onto my shoulder. Luckily, I had not reopened the wound. My shirt did not have any fresh blood on it.

Releasing a sigh, I rested my back on what I thought was a tree, but quickly noticed otherwise. It was soft and spongy. Instantly I turned around to notice it was a giant mushroom and not only that. They were everywhere. It was a miracle I had not tripped on them running here. I could not believe my luck.

In my mindless getaway, I had found one wonder of Allora, their mushroom forest. A place I wanted to visit with Alijah one day. I think I even mentioned it to him in my dreams, but that day would never come. No, I would have to experience this by myself whenever I was free from my curse. Even though the shrooms glowed different colors, making the scenery magical, my heart felt heavy.

My mind wondered what they might have been doing once I left. They were probably talking, which would lead to much more. After all, I knew my wolf and how passionate he was when he wanted to be. Closing my eyes, I remembered the feeling Cain left on my lips.

Is that how Alijah feels every time we kiss?

That thought alone made me feel like puking right where I was. I was a disgusting woman. No different from all the men and women he had met. I used the bond to my advantage. Not even the pretty scenery would soothe my soul tonight.

Usually, I could push past my emotions to be positive, but it felt like it drained everything from me. I never knew sorrow would feel like this. When I said I could handle it, I was wrong. I never thought I would miss my family as much as I did at this moment. But even they would leave me one day.

Mom and Dad could not live forever, and they were already getting old. My siblings would marry and go their separate ways, while I would be left alone.

Was this what Aunty Amelia felt before Dad lived with her? Would one of my siblings also take me in?

Before I knew it, tears were swelling out of my eyes. I tried to hold them in, but they kept spilling out of me. Back in Silverant, I had everything I wanted. I even got to experience all I could have ever wanted from Alijah. The only thing I did not have was his heart.

Why can’t I be happy? Why do I have to want more? It’s not fair! I had my taste! It has to be enough! Please… heart… let it be enough!

It was not long before I broke into a sob.

"Why... couldn't it have been me? Why... was I born in this era? Ah... I never had a chance, did I?" I wept, falling onto my knees.

The surrounding mushrooms glowed into the night. It was so beautiful that it even outshined the stars. Though it was cloudy. It seemed the celestials would not accompany me tonight.

Will it rain… I hope not…

The warmth Alijah gave me the previous night was fading with every thought that ran past my mind. The way she held him with no hesitation… The way they must have been making love at this moment.

There was no way I could go back there.

Why can’t the ground swallow me up and put my misery to an end?

Unlike aunty Amelia, all I was to my family was a burden. Something to hide and be shameful of. I was a failure of a Silver Fang. Yet I had to go back there. Without Alijah, there was no way I could kill Edna safely. And with Lilith in his hands, there was no reason for him to help me anymore.

I was needed nowhere. Unwanted and unloved.

Why... do I have to exist in this world? Why do I have to love a man who’ll never love me back? The gods have to hate me.

I glanced down at my right arm where there was a simple silver bracelet. It was my contingency plan if I ever needed my family to find me. Back at the shadow beast, I did not use it because if they had found Alijah, then they would have probably tried to imprison him. But they had no reason to do so anymore.

My wolf would never hurt the world where Lilith lived. Or at least it was what I thought. Slowly, I reached for it. All I needed to do was take it off. It would signal Vera's or Mom's tracking spell, telling them exactly where I was. Instead of pulling it right off, I stopped, curling up into a ball.

That would have been selfish of me. I would give them this night to be together before the drama ensued. Even though I was alone, there were no ghost orbs around to be seen. Ever since I left the couple, there was not a single one. It was something that never happened before, unless Alijah was around, which was impossible.

That was something I knew would never happen. After all, he was with Lilith, the woman who he had desired all his life. There was no reason for him to come to find me. I was not fragile like her. I was an abomination and his captor. And I had freed him from the bond's previous commands, too.

Ah... I wonder why my wolf hasn’t killed me.

After all, I had told him to do what he wanted. Perhaps holding me under him for six months made him soft. I could at least relish that victory. I had made the craziest Lycan alive a big softy! It was not enough.

Picking up a rock; I threw it at a group of mushrooms in the distance. The impact caused them suddenly to erupt in spores. It appeared like the missing stars from the sky. It would have been a beautiful scene if only my heart was not shredded. Aiming with another one, I was about to throw it, when something grabbed me by the back of my shirt, dragging me away from there.

I did not know what was attacking me.

Is it a wild animal?

But... Allora did not have any animals that could drag anyone around, though.

A deer? Maybe their horn got caught on my shirt?

But I had not heard a single thing come near me. I was a luma, not a Lycan, but even so, my hearing was better than a human. It was the only thing to explain why I was being dragged out of there. Though I was wrong.

I knew the moment I heard my attacker speak, dropping me off away from the spores.

"Why the fuck are you always trying to get yourself into trouble? Honestly, I don’t know if you are really brain dead or something else. Those have hallucinogenic properties and can be deadly even to Lycans in high dosages!" Alijah scolded me from behind.

I could not comprehend why he was there.

"Why are..." I mumbled, unable to make sense.

Nothing did anymore. Letting me go into a spore-free space, I turned to my wolf to see he stood in front of me. My eyes widened, unable to believe my vision anymore. Maybe I had gotten to the spores after all.

"Because you are a stupid luma. Why weren’t you letting me speak back there?! Be thankful I was here to save you!" he snapped, angry about all the interruptions from before, too.

Fuck! What is so important that he has to leave her?

I was trying too hard to be strong, but I could not anymore. My sanity was snapping.

Just how long was he there for? Is rejecting me so important? I don’t want to hear it!

"Maybe it would have been best if I died!" I yelled at him.

Alijah seemed even more pissed off by that statement.

"For whom exactly?!?" he questioned loudly, grabbing onto my arm.

I yanked it away. It only caused my wound to sting again, but I would not back down. Nope... not this time or ever.

"For you... For everyone in this fucking world! I’m a fucking luma! Weak! And..." A burden to my family that saw it fit to lock me up to protect me.

But was it me who they were protecting or their reputation? Usually, parents dropped their hybrid children in Celestelia. Perhaps that fate would have been better for me and then. Fewer worries and responsibilities!

"Rem. That isn’t true." Alijah reached for me again, only for me to slap his hand away.

This pity was pissing me off worse. I did not want him to look at me like that, too. I could feel my body get warm as darkness radiated from it again. It seemed it responded to my negative emotions. It was happening again. I was about to be swayed by my anger and thirst.

Ah... I’m going to hurt him. Alijah... am sorry. I lied when I said I would not. I... can’t stop myself.

"Why... are you here?!? Do you need to tell me so bad that you don’t love me to move on?!? That you need to be freed! Don’t worry, I’ll free you as soon as I see Vera!" I snapped, eyes shining.

His crimson orbs also responded to the moon's aura that was coming from me.

"Rem, I-" Alijah tried speaking, but it was too late.

I was done. There was no going back anymore. My love for him would corrupt me in such a way that I could never take it back. If he was so determined in trying to reject me, then I would have him one last time. I would taint him and my love forever.

"Don't you dare speak, move from where you are, or touch me until I order you so!" I commanded.

The bond immediately took hold of him. My body was shaking. I was going crazy. I had to be for what I was about to do to my dear Alijah.

"Ah... I don’t understand! Why are you here? Where is Lilith?! I really don’t understand!" I snapped, grabbing onto my chest.

My breaths were getting shorter with each emotion I unleashed on Alijah. Even though none of this was his fault. I chose to love him, even though I knew he would never be mine.

I’m sorry. So sorry.

"Compared to her, I... am nothing to you. I know that! You don’t need to tell me!" my voice broke, tears rolling down my eyes again.

I probably was at my ugliest.

Good. Never want me again, never look at me again! Hate me so you’ll never want me near you again.

"You have loved her for thousands of years! So why are you standing in front of me when she is back there waiting for you?!? Is it because of the bond?! Is it because I forced you into this relationship we had? Don't worry, I always knew it was physical for you even when I professed my love for you!" I screamed, feeling a pulse of energy come from me and into the ground underneath.

It caused the earth to shake around us even slightly. I was losing it.

By the gods... how much could I love a man? I would give the world to him.

"I’m not as stupid to think I could replace her, which was why I kept my promise and brought you to her! I’ll release you. Fuck! I’ll let you go, my love! I won’t be your captor anymore! Or hold your leash! I’ll free you so you can be happy!" I continued to let everything go.

Telling him all this should have freed me. Yet all I felt were even more chains that gripped me. Every memory I had of him was tainted. There was never any love there. I was his captor, nothing else. Of course, he would keep me happy.

I wanted to be pulled into the ground below. Another wish that would not come true. Though there was only one thing that worried me. For a moment, I gazed at my wolf. He seemed troubled by everything I was saying.

That was all I would be to him or anyone else. What would he be saying to me right now if he could speak? Nothing good, surely.

"Now that Lilith is here, there is no way you will kill everyone in the world, right?" I mumbled a bit, grabbing onto my chest.

I felt like I was breaking again.

"If you are going to kill everyone, then please spare my family. If holding me through all these months was a bother to you, then you can kill me too. In fact, kill me when you are free. Please Alijah, end my fucking misery. Make sure there isn't a trace of me left!" I cried, clenching my hands into fists so hard that my nails dug into my skin.

The scent of blood was again in the air. Fitting. I could barely gaze at him straight. I did not want to see his emotions.

"I won't order you to do that, though. No... I’ll make you hate me enough that you’ll want to do the same thing you did to Wyatt." I simpered, tears still rolling down my eyes.

Alijah seemed in pain as well. It seemed there was much he wanted to say to me, but because of the bond, not a single word was leaving his mouth. I had neutered the chatterbox that my wolf was.

"Alijah, sit," I ordered him, triggering him to do so instantly.

Seeing him so defenseless on the floor made me want to…

Shit! I’m disgusting.

"You see... I’m a worse monster than Wyatt." I got closer to my wolf, gazing down at him.

His eyes glowed brightly as he responded to my power. I would make him hate me so much that when he went to kill me. He would not leave a single piece of me to be found. The only authentic way to kill an immortal like me. With his destructive power, he was more than capable of erasing my existence from this world.

"You see, I don’t need a drug to have my way with you. Just a simple word and your body will react to me." I smirked, feeling hollow and cold.

Though I could never really face Alijah head-on. No, I was a coward. To hide his eyes from me, I reached back to the cloth he always used to tie his hair, using it to blindfold him.

"You can't take that off until I tell you," I whispered into his ear, tightening the cloth around Alijah's eyes.

He released a nervous chuckle in response. For a moment, I froze, realizing what I was about to do. I could have stopped, talked to him, listen to him, hear him, but I was terrified to live a life without him. With no one. Everyone thought of me as the annoying, stupid girl.

Now I would be the terrifying one as well. Letting go of every hesitation, I radiated more of that dark energy. Grabbing Alijah by his chin, I traced my thumb on his lips. It was too late to stop.

"Open your mouth slightly, so I can kiss you. Oh... and every time I do, you’ll respond to me in the same kind." I commanded my wolf.

In an instant, my tongue invaded his mouth. It usually was so warm whenever I touched it, but all I felt was disgust for myself this time. At least it was washing Cain's kiss from my lips. Alijah dug his hands into the ground when I unbuttoned his shirt.

I finished the forced kiss by nibbling on his bottom lip, slightly slicing it with one of my fangs. Although they were not as sharp as his, they still could do some damage. Blood dripped from his wound, enticing me to lick the trail of blood and his lower lip.

It healed almost immediately because it was not deep enough to make it stay. Part of me wanted to know what he would say in a moment like this, but I knew it would be nothing good. No, he had to be feeling like I did when Cain kissed me.

I felt disgusting for doing this to my wolf. Once his shirt was undone, I exposed his chest to me, tracing his features with my fingertips. None of this was mine, yet I would claim it. Trailing kisses on his cheeks, I suddenly pulled down one of his ears, causing him to breathe loudly.

I leaned closer, before softly blowing on it.

"I think I’ll take that bite of you now," I murmured into Alijah's fluffy ear, pulling his shirt down enough to expose his shoulders.

Trailing kisses down his jawline, I released his ear before traveling down to his shoulder. The warmth of his skin was always so alluring, but the thought of him hating my every touch revolted me. Yet I could not stop.

Licking the spot, I would chomp down on, my wolf shivered in anticipation. I pulled away slightly.

Can I really do this? He’ll really hate me… No, he already does.

Opening my mouth, I hesitated slightly before biting Alijah harder than I had ever done before. In that instant, he groaned in pain. That was involuntary, and not actual words, so it passed through the bond order. Blood gushed into my mouth; it was as sweet as before. This was happening.

It was not like it mattered. Any marking I made on him would vanish by the time the sun came up. A growl rose from his lips. He was not happy with my sudden love bite. But it would not be the last either. Blood dripped down his chest, triggering me to trail my hands on it.

It was not long until my lips sucked on his skin, marking everywhere I touched. I even suckled on his nobs, biting around the areolas too. Moans and groans left his lips as I made my way down to his abdomen. He was covered in my saliva and his blood by the time I was done with his upper body.

There, I unbuckled his pants before slightly pulling them down to see he was responding to me. Not that it meant anything. It was a physiological response, rather than an emotional one. And I had to throw a jab at it, though.

"Wow... I never expected you to be into the dominatrix or sadistic kink, Alijah-tan." I smirked before I realized what had come out of my mouth.

Mira had done similar things to him. Just like what I was doing to him. For a moment, I stared at the marks, bites, and blood that dripped off him as he panted for air. I was no better than her.

I did not deserve Alijah, even if he wanted me. No, all I deserved was to be killed by him. Even though my body radiated the same darkness as in the morning, I felt everything I was doing to him. It numbed nothing this time.

I’m not pure at all, Alijah.

That flower he gave me was not meant for me. No, it was a better gift for Lilith. I usually wore it as a bracelet thanks to the wigs that I wore while in towns. But when I was not inside of a town, I used to wear it like a trophy on my hair.

I glanced down at my left arm. It was where I would wear it when it was not in my hair. Blood had fallen from my chin into the white cloth that represented the flower. It was almost fitting.

Just what am I doing? Right... making him hate me so much that he won’t leave a piece of me to be found.

Pushing aside my feelings, I exposed his member. A soft sigh left his lips when I grabbed onto it. Though a shiver followed it when I stroked it. Another memory I would tarnish. I would destroy everything we had spent together in this jealousy and scornful rage I felt. I was hideous, horrible, and monstrous.

Even though I had never done this before, I pumped my wolf a bit before I took him into my mouth. A moan left his mouth, although I did not know if it was because of pain or something else. I was trying to give him some pleasure through the pain I had brought him, though. He still had his hands buried in the ground next to him.

It could not have been in pain, though. I was careful not to do it too hard or scratch him with my teeth. Though, I was trying to remember what one of Vera's friends said to her about what a man likes when you go down on them. It was in a stupid blog online they were reading.

Sadly, that was something I could not recall while doing this. It was obvious that I sucked. I could not tell if I was hurting him or pleasing him, and it was not like I could ask him. His hips, though, slowly bucked even through my command. It was almost as if it was involuntary.

I continued to treat him by pumping on his base, sucking on his tip. With my free hand, I played with his jewels, softly caressing them in my fingertips. They were soft and wrinkly, but their warmth was alluring. A slightly salty taste soon filled my senses.

His member was releasing the liquid that nourish his seeds on the way out. My unaccustomed mouth was tired after a bit, but I did not stop. Part of me wanted to gaze up to see if he was pleased, but his expression was none of my concerns. Saliva dripped from my lips and onto him.

Suddenly, Alijah exploded in my mouth. It caught me off guard. I almost choked on the thick liquid that came out of his heat, along with a moan. It soon was followed by a chuckle when he heard me cough. Some of it even went up my nose.

It was almost as if he got me back with that, but instead of feeling even. It pissed me off even more. My body moved before I realized what I was doing. Before my wolf could enjoy his victory fully, I kissed him. It was a dirty move, but the bond obligated him to respond to me the same way.

With what was left of him in my mouth, I played with it in his before pulling away, smirking. A victory.

"Swallow it, my love." I snickered, wiping myself a bit.

My wolf had no choice. The smile he had there vanished as another angry growl left his mouth. This was one moment I would enjoy since it was something I only could do.

"Aw... you didn’t like that? But you tasted so good to me. Wasn't it salty? I love salty things." I chuckled, licking my lips.

Alijah’s cheeks were pink after I said that, but that would not stop me. I grabbed onto his chin before kissing him again. It was far from over. The last thing I could do was resemble everyone who came before me. Though, not before feverously making out him.

It was like it was the last time I would ever kiss him. Tugging away slightly from his lips, I sat down on the ground in front of him before closing my eyes. For a moment, I quelled my troubled heart by glancing up towards the stars that were barely visible thanks to the clouds.

"Alijah... do I smell sweet today?" I asked, not looking at my wolf, taking a deep breath.

I had not realized this whole time I had been crying. Not like it mattered. What a pathetic person I was. Feeling bad even though I was the one doing everything.

"Fuck me with the one goal of impregnating me, Alijah," I ordered.

It kicked in instantly. Before I knew it, my back was on the floor. His body radiated a red glow, towering over me. A second later, my pants were off. Shivers ran down my spine when he entered me without hesitation.

It hurt, and I wanted it to hurt. I did not want any type of pleasure from what I was forcing him to do. I truly did not know if I did smell sweet to him. Even though I was a Lycan, females could not tell when other females were ovulating. That was something only males could do.

The only thing I could do was feel the symptoms, but I had not felt the entire time we had spent together. And certainly not today. Each thrust that used to give me such warmth only left me colder than ever.

I laid there like a doll being fucked. Sex without love was nothing in comparison. Though, it never was there. It had only ever been me making love to him. He never once did it for me. Of course, this was all what I thought.

At least, it was how I felt at first. But the moment that Alijah tried to knot me, I found my release along with him. Even for women, it was a physiological response. Even though I was doing something so dirty, I was going to feel pleasure too.

Ah... This is revolting. I’m disgusting. Utterly ugly.

"Do it again until I’m pregnant," I whispered while we were knotted.

Unable to do otherwise, Alijah would do what I ordered until morning. He could not touch me other than fucking me. And he could not speak unless I told him to, which I did not. Surely, there was nothing good to say either way.

I bit into his shirt to hold my mewls while he fucked me repeatedly. Though, unlike me, he did not hold on to his moans. No, he filled my ears with them. The occasional whine would leave me every time he knotted me, though.

By the time the sun was up, all my marks and bites were gone. I could barely keep up anymore, but somehow was I conscious. The only evidence of what I did was the dried blood on his body. I slowly glanced up at the blue sky above. I had become numb to everything of it throughout this.

Air was so precious to us both. The sun was finally out, and Alijah knotted me for the last time. I pressed my hand on his chest. How we were still up, I did not know. But this would be the last time I would ever feel him like this. Even the clouds were gone. Unable to help myself, I kissed him lightly on his lips. I had a headache worse than I ever thought I would have.

Probably from all the crying and the remaining Iris in my system. Like I had commanded the night before, he responded to the kiss the same way. This was all wrong. I almost broke when I pulled away from the brief kiss. It was the first time we had done so since the fucking started.

Of course, he could not touch me in any way other than what I allowed. I could feel my body tremble. It hurt too much. I would never have him again. Not that I deserved it after this. All I could hope was that he gave me a quick death.

"After you are free from this knot, you will sit back where you were and stop trying to knock me up." I panted for air that was barely reaching my lungs.

Alijah was also as exhausted as I was. I knew this even though he could not speak, and his eyes were still covered. It was the first time I had ever seen him like that. And it would also be the last time. Just like I said, he did.

Once he was free of my biological response, he sat back where he had been previously, before my horrendous order came to be. The moment I sat up to grab my shorts, what Alijah had filled within me slowly overflowed down my legs. Flustered, I quickly placed my underwear and pants on, only to feel truly disgusted afterward.

How did all those women that did that to him live with it? And did it over and over nonstop for two years.

By the gods, I could not figure it out. I felt like puking from thinking about what I had done. My legs also felt like jelly with each movement I tried to make. This was not good. For a moment, I readied myself to face Alijah, who panted for air where he sat.

Luckily, the blindfold still held up even after all his rough movements. Shivers ran down my body, trying to get up. It took me a bit, but I found footing. It also seemed like my wolf caught his breath as well. I discovered myself staring at him, knowing I had betrayed him in every way possible.

All my promises were meaningless. Taking off the scrunchy he had given me, I placed it in front of him.

“Hey… Alijah… forget the kissing order.” I whispered; voice hoarse.

Slowly, I leaned to press my lips against his. I held them there, trying to calm my shattered heart.

I’m sorry… for everything.

Pulling away from his lips, I could only gravitate towards them. I did not want to let go.

“You can kiss or bite my tongue off when I kiss you. This time…” I mumbled, though he could hear me.

My voice was unstable, but I expected him to bite me if I kissed him again. Even so, I could not stop myself from doing so. Maybe I wanted some type of punishment for what I did before I left. Pressing my lips away, I flinched away the moment he opened his mouth.

A gentle chuckle left his lips as I pushed past my fears, kissing him again. This time, I stuck my tongue into his mouth, expecting a bite to follow, but his soft member tangoed with mine. This sweet wolf… Though, I could not allow myself to be swayed.

He would never hurt the master of his leash. At least, until the orders expired. Enjoying the last kiss, we would ever share, I tried to figure out a way to get back to Lilith. Without my wolf getting to me first.

This would be the last time I would ever see him like that. It was saddening, but I deserved everything that was coming to me. Once he was free, that was. At least I could have this last sweet fake kiss.

Pulling away, I bit into my lip. This was it.

"Fix yourself up and stay here for an hour. After that, you’ll be free of all of my previous orders from last night." I gave my last order, taking a step away from him.

How I wish I could stay here and wait for my reckoning, but I needed to find Lilith. Before I took off this bracelet. Without a second thought, I bolted out of there. I had run in a straight line, so it was easy to get back. I did not care how many times I stumbled on my way back to Lilith.

I brought half the forest with me since my clothes got dirty from how many times I fell. The primary culprit was my jiggly legs. Though, I had no one to blame but myself. At least my shoulder did not bother me. It was almost fully regenerated, though the freshly minor scrapes from my falls were struggling to heal.

Not that they stopped me. Upon seeing the cave, I saw orbs of ghosts around me. Ignoring them, I moved past where Lilith was. Only one goal remained, to get to her and remove my bracelet, allowing my family to come to me. If they would come to me was yet to be seen.

It had been six months since I last saw anything from them. I did not know if they were still looking for me. Sadly, I did not think this thoroughly, but I hoped Alijah would spare them. Slowly, I made my way to the elf, disregarding the ghosts who were trying to speak to me.

Lilith seemed to look for us outside of the cave, which made me wonder if she had been doing so all night. Guilt swelled within me. I had to push it down.

Shit... I really messed up.

The moment the elf spotted me, she ran to meet me by the clearing between the cave and the forest behind me.

"Rem, what happened? Why are you all battered like that?" Lilith asked, confused by my appearance.

Shit! Shit!

I did not think any of it through. At least she did not know me, so I could lie to her, unlike Alijah.

"Ah, don't mind me. I’m a major klutz!" I assured her, trying to walk past her.

She grabbed me by my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

"And where is Alijah?" Lilith continued her query.

I struggled to figure what to say, only to come up with the obvious.

"Maybe he is hunting or something. I really don't keep track of him." I lied, trying to not picture how I had left him sitting near that mushroom forest.

Oh, by the gods... it’s not the time to be feeling guilty! Fuck! I’m so sorry!

The feeling of his warm lips was still radiating on my lips. I had to shake it off. The moment he came, it would not be sweet and happy clouds.

"Oh, is he? Then do you know where he was last night?" the elf question.

Instinctively, I pictured where he was last night. I was losing it.

"I... I-I don’t know. I kind of s-slept in the f-forest and got c-chased by a d-deer when I tried to give you g-guys space. And I j-just want to get out of here!" I snapped, stuttering.

She flinched a bit, allowing me to pull away from her before dropping my bag on the floor. All I had to do was take off the bracelet. Easy, yet I was hesitant.

Is this the right thing? I mean, there’s no going back. But will my family even come for me? Have I always been full of this doubt?

My mind was a mess. I could not think straight.

Why does my family have to come? It doesn’t matter if Alijah kills me as long as he destroys every trace of me. If they see him do that, then… They’ll surely attack him. I…

My insecurities were consuming me. I was a wreck. There was no taking back what I had done to Alijah. I kind of made my bed when I did that. My hand trembled, pulling away from it.

Dying by his hand isn’t the worst way I could go.

"Oh... Pity," Lilith mumbled, grabbing me by my shoulder.

I turned around to see what she wanted, only to feel a sharp sensation on my abdomen. My hand instinctively grabbed onto hers, only to feel something hard and moist come from them.

"Eh? What are you?" I mumbled.

A second later, blood came up my throat and into my mouth. It dripped down my lips, gazing down to notice an object embedded in my stomach.

It hurts... What... Why... I...

"Shit! I was aiming for your heart. As I said, I’m going to help you with the curse by freeing you from your body. There is no better way to kill a god than with a weapon made from one." The elf announced.

The blade she used reacted to what should have been royal blood within me. Only royal Lycans and vampires could activate god artifacts, yet she cast the spell to activate it. This was the first time I had ever been in contact with an artifact. Though it should have been impossible.

I was not versed in the elven language, so I did not know what she said. The elves made these artifacts from the dead souls within the soul cairn. Those souls trapped there used to be gods before being imprisoned. Though, I would say being turned into an object was worse.

The moment it activated; my mind spun. I could barely understand what was happening anymore. However, my instincts activated. I crushed Lilith's fingers in my hands, causing her to screech, pulling away from me.

"Ouch! You fucking bitch!" Lilith scowled, holding her hands in between her legs, hissing at me.

Instantly, I tried to pull the relic out, only for it to dig its way in even more. It glowed brightly, too. The white light was almost blinding to me. My knees hit the ground hard. A second later, my body keeled over to the side. I tried my best to take out the dagger. But it was no use. It was not budging at all, no matter how hard I yanked on it.

"Just kidding!" the elf snickered, suddenly showing me her hands.

I did not crush her hands at all, even though I had heard the bones crack. Had I hallucinated it? Or had I crushed my own? There was no pain coming from my hands. No, the only agony I was in was from my stomach.

"How..." I gasped before having to gaze away from her.

She crackled, enjoying my pain and confusion.

"Ah... How I missed this..." Lilith smirked, pleased by the sight in front of her.

Would a medic act like that? Was she even a real medic? Her healing magic was real. Alijah had said she was, but her face was so twisted that I could not picture her as benevolent. No, I could not understand.

Medics were live savers, not takers. So, why was she loving every minute that my life seemed to be in the balance?

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, feeling the blade go into me further.

No matter how hard I tried to pull it out. I was dying. Every breath seemed harder to come by. My vision blurred.

"Because mother found out that you have Alijah caged in a spell, which should dispel soon thanks to that artifact. It will also kill you even though you are immortal! You should have never messed with the book of life! Finally, a win!" Lilith informed.

I gasped for air.

Book of life? What the fuck was she on about?

By the gods, was I stupid to even believe she was not in the influence of the eternal witch?

Did she call her mother? What the fuck?

My head spun as I could not think of anything else but trying to pull the dagger out. If Alijah fell into Edna's hands, there was no way to see how he would be. No, I could not let him fall into her hands. I had to save him somehow. He deserved to be happy.

Wait… Can I save him after what I did? Do I even deserve to try?

"Why..." I tried to speak, only to choke on the blood that was coming up.

It was getting hard to breathe.

Shit... to think that actual death is this terrifying.

If what she said was true, then I was about to die for real, and it scared me. I did not want to die by anyone else's hands other than Alijah's. Especially when his life was still in danger. I wanted to pull the bracelet away, only to fail.

If I released the dagger, it would surely finish me before I could do anything else. Lilith stood over my body while I struggled to stay alive, in vain.

"Well, since you are dying, I’ll tell you a little secret. I have always been an angel of death! Mother showed me the way thousands of years ago. She saved me from a brothel I used to work in. This was almost one hundred years before I met Alijah." Lilith smirked, kicking me in the face.

It almost caused me to let go of the slippery artifact.

"Now, it’s time for you to die, dirty luma. Though this death is too good for you. You deserved a more agonizing one for touching what’s mine! But Mother is too gentle." Lilith chided; expression full of scorn.

Ah... I fucked up big time.

Though it was not like I did not deserve this after what I had done to Alijah. Maybe... this world would be better without me.

I... don’t deserve to save him.

Just as Lilith had said, the bond weakened to where I could not feel it anymore. Laying in a pool of my blood, my consciousness was barely holding anymore. Perhaps I was hallucinating, but I could swear I saw Alijah in the distance. Karma was coming for me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I’m sorry... for everything...