Once Rem was in my arms, it felt like I held my world in them. Midna's body disintegrated as we fell from the sky. Time seemed to resume when a blow of energy sent us hurtling towards the ground. It was faster than I could react to. Luckily, Vera caught us in a levitation spell before we hit the floor.

It really was intriguing how she could cast an incantation without uttering a word. And at lightning speed, too. Setting us down on the ground, Vera struggled to get up with Ruzgard's help. Caden helped his brother up from where he was before heading towards us. Fenris brought Lilith over.

Shade ran ahead of them, shifting back into a tiny cat, stopping in front of me. Her paws found their way onto my knees as I shifted my gaze back onto Rem. The only one who mattered to me from all the ones who were there. Even though they were unknown, especially when the danger had passed.

They slowly made their way over to where I was with Rem. Instead of watching them, all I could do was stare at her sleeping face. I was glad to see her chest rise and fall with each breath. It did not seem like she was waking up, though. And that worried me.

Rem was utterly naked in my arms, too. All her clothes were burned off. Part of mine had been too. That goddess that attacked us did not hold back, though at the same time it felt like she was. I wiped Rem’s hair out of her face, pressing my forehead against hers. The warmth that radiated from her skin into mine was something unreal.

Even though she had not opened her eyes, at least she was alive. I could not ask for more. The twin boys seemed to dislike me, though. Feeling their stares on me, I could not help but meet with their eyes. They instinctively gazed away soon after. I did not know what my expression was, but it seemed like the boys did not like it. And I could not care less, though. They had left me utterly unimpressed.

Unlike the twins, without hesitation, Vera grabbed onto Rem's hand. It did not matter to her that the little luma was in my arms. Caden took off his shirt, handing it to me so I could cover Rem with it. A soft shine came from her sister’s hands, turning to her parents, who were slowly making their way to us. Lilith seemed weaker than when I first met her.

Had something made her like this? Or was it the age?

"Mom... I can't feel her." Vera announced.

It caused me to grip tighter on Rem's shoulder, fearing what she meant by that. Fenris slowly set Lilith down next to us, heading towards his son, who was still healing. Caden had reset the fracture, so all Aiden needed was to heal.

Even though Lilith seemed exhausted, she touched Rem's head, closing her eyes. A blue shine came from her fingertips. It seemed we were not out of the woods yet. If the goddess was to be believed, Rem would not be joining us soon. But I could have never guessed how long it would be.

"Rem, where are you?" Lilith mumbled, only quickly to stop.

Her body could not handle the magic any longer. It seemed almost as if a headache struck her when Fenris ran towards her again. He made sure she was alright, but in her condition, there was no way she could perform what needed to be done.

In fact, she seemed more unstable than the last time I saw her. It was good to see Fenris treat her like she deserved, though. Vera, even though she was hurt and tired, stood up, attempting to summon a portal to transport us.

A mistake...

"We can’t do anything here. Let’s return to the manor." She announced.

I shook my head, unable to believe what they were about to do. No... they did not know. Rem confessed to me back in Azear. It was the first time she was near one of those things. Then again, she never told me much about her past.

Either way, I would not let them take her in there. Who knew what would happen to her in this state? Especially if one of those things came into contact with her. And from the energy that I felt from the magic, that vortex was connected to the soul cairn.

"You can't take her in there," I declared, gripping onto Rem tighter to my body.

Vera glared at me, not liking my opinion. Understandably, she seemed stressed, and I was adding to it. Though I also suspected that she did not like me, not that I blamed her either. I was not a very pleasant person. It was a miracle this luma loved me.

"What? What the fuck do you know?" Vera lashed out at me.

The usual me probably would have said something snarky back to the human. But this was Rem's family. So, I tried to keep my cool. Although it was hard… I was not in the giving mood after what had happened. Even so, with Rem in my arms, I did not want to bother much with them.

For now, I would play nice. After all, witches were better equipped to help Rem than I was. If Rem herself had caused this, I could not help her on my own. Even though I could try to suppress her magic. I could never cancel it fully.

"Back in Azear, a shadow beast attacked, and when she touched it. It tried to do something to her, which is why you can’t take her into the Soul Cairn. Your brothers were there. I’m sure they can tell you I’m telling the truth. Or close to it at least." I answered, meeting with her glare.

It surprised Caden to hear that.

"So, you saw us there?" he asked.

His question shifted my gaze to him. He seemed uneasy, though. Jumpy because of what had happened, I guess.

"More like heard. We were in a room you were about to open. Back in Azear before that... elf interrupted you." I answered, trying to hide my scorn for the elf.

My revelation caused the little wolf's cheeks to turn light pink. I was not sure if it was from embarrassment or frustration. He had been so close to finding us. Caden turned to Aiden, who was still healing from the fracture.

A fight was about to ensue between them, but before they could argue. I turned back to Vera, who was not happy at all to hear that.

"I won’t let you hurt her because you are in a hurry to save her. Just be glad she is alive for now." I added, shifting my gaze to Rem's sleeping face.

"One step at a time. Right, Rem?" I whispered, feeling lonely without hearing her voice.

I truly was happy that she was alive. Just her having color on her lips was enough for me. After seeing it all go away moments before, it calmed me. But... I also wanted to hear her stupid voice ring in my ears.

"You are a heartless murderer! Don’t pretend you care for her!" Vera yelled at me, standing up, trying to look threatening.

I turned to her immediately. This little bitch was about to get me going, and I was attempting so hard to be a good boy for Rem.

"Vera!" Lilith called out to her, trying to quell the situation.

This time I would not stay quiet. No... I had to make that girl, who thought she understood me, eat her own words. She knew nothing of the time I had spent with Rem, yet she judged it. And it rubbed me the wrong way.

"You know, I used to be one until I met your pushy sister. To her, it didn’t matter how many times I attempted to hurt or shove her away. She kept coming until she shattered all the walls I had placed to keep everyone away." I started, triggering everyone's eyes to come to me.

I honestly did not care if they believed me, but Rem was going nowhere without me. Never again. The fresh blood that was on my shirt from earlier reminded me of my failure. I would never neglect her again.

"So don’t pretend you know me because of stories you’ve heard. Or have you not noticed you are still breathing, even though you are tempting me to do otherwise? I mean, look at you all, vulnerable and weak. Easy picking for me. Yet you’re still alive." I huffed, glaring at her.

We would be at odds, it seemed. In her eyes, I saw nothing but rejection. Not that I cared. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head slightly. She did not know what she was trying to provoke. Before she could say anything, I continued.

“Unlike you, I’m barely tired, and the bond is no longer holding me back, little witch." I pointed out, turning back to Rem's sleeping face.

It was the first time, in the longest time, that I would be annoyed, yet would not kill. And this time it was out of my free will. No orders or limitations.

This luma changed me.

"So, ask yourself why the fuck you are still breathing. If not, just be grateful that your sister made me grow a god, damn heart!" I growled, not enjoying any of the hostility towards me.

Vera turned her gaze away from me.

"Alijah..." Lilith called out, shifting my eyes to turn to her.

It genuinely surprised her to see me like this. My eyes stung from crying earlier. I guess my first impression, twenty years ago, on her was a mortifying one. In just a short time, being with Rem, she filled me up with things I thought I would never feel.

The daughter fulfilled a mother's wish.

Fitting...

"Your daughter made your wish come true, Lilith. Though if she were to die, I can’t say I could keep myself from reverting. In fact, I would destroy this world the instance she left for good." I warned them.

Fenris, who had been quietly assessing me the entire time, slowly stood up from Lilith's side. It surprised me he had been a good man to her, which was not expected from a silver blood. Then again, his offspring was the one who showed me the light.

So perhaps I was wrong about that, too. After all, Rem being a silver blood never bothered me.

"So, listen to me when I tell you, you can’t take her in there.” I sighed.

Is it enough? No…

“I won’t let you do anything to hurt her. So, don’t make me injure you instead." I finished, wrapping my tail around Rem protectively.

Fenris grabbed a weird device from his pocket.

"I’ll get us a ship." He announced, walking to the side with the device in his hands.

A dreadful thing for me, but it was better than using that realm. Instead of arguing any further, Vera sat down on the ground, tearful and frustrated. It seemed they heard me. Relieved, I held onto Rem, not wanting to let her go. Slowly, Lilith traced her fingers on the little luma’s hair as a soft smile appeared on her lips.

"She really looks like she is sleeping." She began.

I nodded slowly. My beloved’s face seemed like she was in a peaceful slumber.

"Hopefully, she’ll wake up from her dreams soon." I simpered at Rem, tracing my hand on her cheek.

 It caused me to wince soon after. That was when I noticed my hand was still bleeding from pulling the dagger out. Those god artifacts were troublesome. If they could stop my healing like that, then Rem had no chance against it.

Luckily, the effect was localized to my palm. Any wounds that I had gained in the previous battle were already healed.

"How did this happen?" Lilith asked, wanting to know how her daughter ended up in this situation.

Something I could barely understand myself. Everything had happened so fast that I hardly had time to process it all. Though something was utterly clear.

"Your daughter was being extra stupid," I answered, fixing myself.

Rem rested on my chest while I wrapped my arms around her protectively. By the gods, I loved her. It was terrifying to even think that she would not open her eyes again, but I tried to not let it cross my mind. I had to speak to her mother.

She probably loved her almost as much as I did. Actually, all of them did. Shade had found her way onto Rem's belly, curling into a small ball where the wound used to be.

"I see..." Lilith mumbled a bit, not knowing if I would answer her fully.

But I would.

"Lilith, the elf is back," I informed.

Rem’s mother raised her eyebrows, clenching her hands into fists. The look on her face…

"So, this was Edna?" She scowled upon hearing that.

I glanced up at the sky. Ever since Midna disappeared, it was blue again. Those shadow demons were a pain. Yet the ones that Vera and Lilith had seemed tamed. For now, at least.

"Seeing as she had Lilith's soul, I guess it was. Though I didn’t see how Rem was stabbed. When I got here, she was already on the ground. And Lilith's hands were full of blood." I answered, much to Aiden's displeasure.

A glare came from him, finding me to blame for everything.

"Why did you leave her!?" he growled at me.

I shrugged, remembering the previous night. Every fiber of my being wished it were different. A weird, painful sensation rose in my chest, remembering everything I wanted to tell this little luma.

Well, before this happened. Now the only desire left in me was for her to open her eyes. I would give my pride for it.

"The stupid luma didn’t give me much of a choice with the retarded bond and her orders." I sighed, biting my lip.

My tail curled around Rem's waist tighter. It also helped to cover her up better than the shirt, but all I wanted was for her to get closer to me. It seemed like the twin that yelled at me was about to go off. But before he could, Caden grabbed his brother by the shoulder, shaking his head.

"Aiden, it does not matter. We all failed her again." He sulked, pulling away from his brother.

He sat close by me, crossing his arms, unhappy at how everything turned out. Though, the again part caught my attention. It was just like Lilith had said earlier, too.

"Again?" I mumbled, confused about what they meant.

In response to hearing me, Lilith shook her head slightly.

"Oh, this isn’t the first time this happens. When she was younger, she followed her brothers to the roof of the manor when Fenris and I were out. She fell from there. And... something similar to this happened. Though we were not sure it would happen again." Lilith informed with a bitter smile on her lips.

She still wore that phoenix crystal on her neck, too. It seems she could never control the soul cairn. By the way, she looked. It was a miracle her sanity was still standing. Her sanity seemed in place, though. Something Fenris and her kids probably had a part on.

To me, though, what was more worrisome was the fact that this goddess wanted Rem's body. And it seemed to be the third time she was present if we counted the raiders' camp. That was something that could never come to be.

Or at least what it appeared to be with the information we had. I could not help but feel like a pawn in a chess game.

Is that Midna’s goal? But those thoughts…

It did not matter. First came Rem. I had to focus.

"I see... So, this god has been trying to get into her body since she was younger?" I asked, wanting to know more.

Lilith seemed unsure about how to answer me.

"Well, I don't know if it was the same one. Last time it didn’t speak. Though it might have been. But I truly don’t know. Though, a few people died that day. She was more violent and wild than this time though." Lilith bit into her lip, glancing at Fenris.

The alpha seemed to speak on the device he had pulled out. I had seen others with it when Rem and I were in towns, but she never quite told me what they were for. Only that we had to avoid them at all costs.

"Fenris saved her that day. And today, it was you. It seems only red moon Lycans can reach her when she is in that state." Lilith added.

It caused me to hold Rem closer to myself. This was more complicated than I thought. This luma had been hiding much more than she needed.

Why? Did you think it would bother me? Stupid girl.

"Shit! Rem... you should have told me. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked my little luma, knowing I would get no response.

Yet it did not stop me from wanting one. How I wished she would open those orbs of hers and gaze at me like she always did.

"Obviously, Rem doesn't trust you." Vera took a jab at me.

I growled at her, only for Caden to step in.

"You think she doesn't trust him? The man she spent six months alone with until now? Fuck! What do you think about us?" The young wolf started angered by his sister's remark.

Vera seemed surprised by his outburst. From what I remember, Rem said he was the more free-spirited one. But that was not the case. At least at this moment in time.

"This has nothing to do with trust! The only reason Rem said nothing to anyone was because she didn’t want to be locked up again. It was all we did for her! We failed her as her family in every way possible!" Caden snapped at his sister, who glared at him in return.

They were all a mess. The only one who could bring them back together was Rem.

Silly, stupid girl, you were never a burden to them.

No, she was more like the glue that held them together. Just looking at how much each of them cared made it so clear to me. It also filled me with relief. Rem would never be alone with them around.

A few hours passed before the ship came for us. A grueling experience I did not want to relive, but had to for Rem's sake. Fenris and Caden had searched the surroundings for the elf, but only found Rem's bag that had been blown into the cave during the fight.

The trip to the manor was unpleasant, to say the least. But at least I could stay near my little luma the whole way. I guess it scared them to take me away from her, due to me behaving while she was near.

The one who came for us was another silver blood named Ben. He came along with his older sister, Amelia, a white hair female Lycan. That female silver blood glared at me with no fear, even pushing me aside to reach Rem. It surprised me when she did that.

Fenris pulled the sword that Midna had forged from thin air from the ground. That alone was not surprising. No, what was unexpected was that it failed to respond to him at all. It did not respond to any of the Lycans on board. Not that they handed it to me, but I doubted it would have activated. It did not seem to be the average god artifact we were used to.

When we got to Silverant, I was glad to get off the noisy ship. Though I would be met with an even noisier town. There was music, people, and machinery everywhere. My poor ears could barely register what was going on.

Rem had always avoided big cities with me. I thought it was because Cerberus looking for us. But I slowly realized it was much more than that. She was always thinking of me. The stupid luma had been slowly introducing me to places for me to get accustomed to.

But the culture shock was imminent. I could not believe how advanced it was. I mean, Zent in Allora had some advancements, but I bolted out of there before I got to analyze anything. Caden was the one who filled me in on what I was looking at. I think he enjoyed seeing me overwhelmed by everything.

Luckily, I was a quick learner. Unlike Celestelia, there were no crafts or cars. People used bikes to get around, if not carts pulled by horses or Lycans. But everything seemed technologically advanced. There were screens everywhere, as well as phones and all the good stuff I would be introduced to by this family.

The buildings were made of cement or glass. The colors were from everywhere, too. Rem had said Silverant had become a hub for all the races to gather in. One of Fenris’s dreams came true. Even witchcraft shops were in almost every corner. Lilith had made Lyari into a haven for them.

So much had changed between the races since twenty years ago, but there was still too much hate in this world. When we traveled, we always stayed near the elven lands. Rem said elves hated technology, though the blaze elves' towns were pretty advanced.

Though nowhere near Silverant. Then again, this was a capital. Zent was too, but the whole thing had been a blur. Part of it was a bit intimidating, but luckily, I was too focused on Rem to care for anything else.

Once at the manor, when the medics tended to Rem, I tried to stay out of their way. The entire building was white, along with a rose garden outside. It also had statues of the older silver blood around the yards. Again, I cared little about how it looked, but it was fancier than anything I had seen.

 It seemed like everything was made from marble, if not most of it. The elegance of the building itself showed this home was of royalty. Fitting for my little luma. I was reluctant to leave her room, though. Well, until Lilith pulled me out, throwing me into the bathroom.

It appeared she wanted me to shower. Shocked, I tried to leave, only to find her guarding the door with that troublesome familiar. Instead of letting me through, Shade stood in my way. Lilith told me I needed to wash myself of all the blood. And it was true. The red stains were stinking a bit.

This would end quicker if I listened to her, which I did. I knew she would not let me get out of the bathroom until I was clean. It felt like I was being treated like a child. Rolling my eyes at her, I turned around, going back in. Taking off my shirt, I saw the dry blood from the previous night. They were Rem's bites.

Seeing them made me want to punch right through the walls of this room, but I kept myself from doing so. They served as a reminder of how powerless I was to stop her from getting hurt. Throwing the clothes into a basket that was nearby, I skipped the pool that seemed like a bathtub, going straight into the shower stall nearby.

Washing blood off was easy, but to get rid of the sensation that it left within me was another thing. I felt like screaming, but if I did, I knew they would not allow me near Rem. To my surprise, there were fresh clean clothes there for me when I finished washing my body. I had been so deep in thought, to notice a male servant of the manor come in and bring them to me.

I did not know whose clothes they were, but they seemed to be my size. Closing my eyes, I dressed, readying myself for whatever happened next. When I exited the bathroom, I stared at a Lycan female with black hair and what appeared to be her mate right next to her.

Her mate was a brown-haired Lycan whose amber orbs gazed at me. It felt like he was studying me. She quickly introduced herself as Melody, pointing out her husband, Liam. He was the overprotective wolf in the room.

Little did I know she had a story for me, one I was not quite ready to hear. Especially after everything that had happened. The gods were testing me.

"Alijah, I have been wanting to meet you for quite some time." Melody began.

Ignoring her, I tried to step away from them. Only to be stopped by the same girl that was with the twins. She stood in my way, annoying me once again. Sophie was her name, if I remembered correctly. It irritated me a bit to be trapped like this.

A waste of time when all I wanted was to be with Rem.

"Look, I don't have time for this," I growled, trying to get them out of my way.

They would not budge. I did not want to hurt anyone. But if they insisted on keeping me away from Rem, I would not control myself.

"I won't take much of your time. Plus, Rem is being washed by Amelia. You don’t want to interrupt them right now." Melody informed.

I stared at her, somewhat dumbfounded.

Her Aunt is bathing her? Shit. That means the medics found nothing.

It seemed my luma was not waking up soon. It stung my heart.

"Here, let me treat you." Melody suddenly declared, grabbing onto my injured hand.

I pulled away instantly. At that moment, I should have walked away. Though the only thing that kept me was the familiarity in her essence. It was like someone I knew long ago.

My brother... Why am I sensing him on the females?

Melody reached for my hand again. Sophie stood next to me, studying me as her father did. Not that he could stop me if I hurt them.

"What do you want?" I grumbled, annoyed at the whole thing.

I was trying to hold myself back from doing anything Rem might dislike. Melody snatched my hand again. This girl was fearless, just like Rem. I never expected someone other than my luma to care if I was injured or not. Had Lilith told her?

The wound had stopped bleeding, but it was still raw.

"I wanted to talk to you about your brother." Melody started.

I yanked away from her again. This girl was insane.

Why the fuck would I want to know about Lucan? He left me in that forsaken place to die.

"And why would I want to hear about him?" I growled, not knowing where this was going.

Liam shifted stances, catching my gaze. I felt a small smile cross my lips. He would not hesitate to jump me if I made any movements to hurt her. Not that I desired to make this house a blood bath. All I wanted was to be with Rem.

Nothing else mattered. Especially if that was going down memory lane for someone who left me to rot at the elder's hands. Instead of backing off, Melody pouted and clasped onto my hand again. This girl was insane.

"I was not finished treating you!" She scolded me like I was a child.

It left me amazed by her bravery. Or was it stupidity? Usually, those came hand in hand, but this was on another level. It reminded me of Rem's boldness when we first met.

"You think Lucan abandoned you, but he didn't." She continued.

My eyes widened, wondering how she even knew his name.

Records? No…

I doubted they had any documents from my original time. Or perhaps they did, but the elders were never the sharing type. Then again, Fenris was their alpha. But that only led me to wonder, who was this girl to know this?

"When you were trapped by the elders, the eternal witch Edna cursed Lucan. It was a generational curse that cut him off from his beast self. Essentially, he was powerless to help you." Melody suddenly announced, mentioning this witch yet again.

I knew what eternal witches were. After all, they were much more common in my time than in this one. It also helped that Rem had filled me in on what was currently happening. Thanks to that, I knew there was a purge of them long ago.

Though that had begun before I was even born. Most races declared them to be too powerful to exist. I partially agreed back at the time. So, I guess the cleansing was already ongoing in my time.

Eternal witches were female humans that had a special trait. This allowed them to control time. Nothing compared to god artifacts, but it could be powerful enough to affect other things. Though, usually, the most they could do was stop the clock for themselves, essentially making them immortal to passaging time.

Though some could even control time to the point of affecting it on others. The records from when they were more prominent were all gone, though. Not that I ever tried to research them. These witches were dangerous because the older a witch became, the stronger they were.

To think that one from my time was still alive was a terrifying thought alone. No wonder she figured out how to manipulate dimensional energies. It had always intrigued me how a witch could contact me in that prison. Yet something seemed incomplete for me.

The witch that contacted me when I was in that dimension never revealed her face.

Clever old hag.

Then, I did not care about how I left that realm, but when. That witch was a means to an end, and I was planning on killing her as soon as I was free. To think that she would have used my obsession with Lilith to control me. She had not thought it through, though.

Back then, I would have killed her and then claimed Lilith for myself. But if she used Rem...

Shit... I don’t know if I won’t bend to her then. I would give anything for my little luma.

When Melody was done covering my wound, I gazed at my hand, unable to understand why she helped me.

"You might not want to know, but I had a moon elf cast quite a painful spell. It was to see the memories of my ancestors. Lucan was going to fight the elder Lycans in their decisions when Edna took away his power to do so." Melody announced, leaving me hesitant.

Moon elves could project one's memories, no matter how deep or forgotten they were. They could tap into the memories of past ancestors. However, those were painful experiences. Even back in my time, no one would willingly submit to those incantations. Especially if they did not have a name. But I guess that was remedy from that thanks to the elders and Fenris.

Even so... this was all irrelevant to me, at least.

"Why are you telling me this?" I sighed, placing my hand down back to its original spot.

The moment I gazed at her, she gently smiled at me. It was genuine.

"Because what they did to you was wrong, Alijah," Melody answered, sighing soon after.

"We are also technically family. So, I didn’t want you to think badly of my very great grandfather." She bit into her lip, meeting with my sight again.

“Your brother died a year later, after being cursed. He tried to get you out, even though he was powerless. Sadly, he was killed by the elders for his treason. His wife and daughter lived though." She added.

Sophie pulled a letter out of her pocket.

"We found this preserved in one record from the Lycan libraries in Malcerem. It’s here in Lyari if you want to look later. It was meant for his wife, but I think he would have liked you to have it." Sophie noted, trying to hand me the letter.

I scowled at them, turning around, walking away from them. Only to stop soon after, my heart was troubled, yet I… I glanced back at the family who were trying to reach me. At my brother’s descendants.

"Lucan's words to his wife are between them. I don't need to know them." I voiced, gazing at Melody.

It was hard to believe my brother's line had lived until this point. Though he once told me he was hard to kill. Even though he was murdered, it seemed they never got rid of him. I struggled a bit to believe what she told me. Yet I did not sense a hint of deceit coming from them.

Especially from the woman called Melody. If they were saying the truth, then Lucan…

I’m sorry for ever doubting you, big brother. But give me a break. I was in an awful place.

"Thank you for letting me know, Melody." I smiled, causing both girls' cheeks to turn pink.

Liam narrowed his eyes, unhappy by his wife's reaction to me. It seemed I still had my charms, not that I wanted to use them on anyone else other than my luma. What they said changed nothing of how I already felt. Without wasting another minute, I made my way to Rem's room.

They had changed her into a dark blue gown. It was comforting to see her resting on the most comfortable bed I had ever seen. Vera was in the room with her before I got there, but quickly glared at me and ran out. I shrugged, not caring much about it.

Probably if I was the old me, that would have interested me. But all that was in my mind was how to get Rem back from wherever she was. Sitting next to her, I grabbed onto her hand in the hopes she would squish it back.

The warmth of her hand sunk into my skin. Her face was so peaceful that I struggled in between wanting to see her wake up. Or letting her sleep like this forever. However, the desire to want to see her smile and hear her voice outgrew everything else. Though... I would probably wait an eternity for her to come back to me.

Sadly, even with time, no one grew closer to figuring out what was going on with Rem. Two weeks passed when tensions ran high in the house. My little luma kept sleeping through it all, though. While I kept to myself, Vera could be heard screaming, usually in frustration. It was disheartening to hear, but I tried to stay away from it all.

My role in this was to stay near Rem while the medics checked her. The twins tried to find any lead about the sword, in the hopes it would guide them to Rem’s savior. They traveled constantly in between Celestelia and Allora. Fenris and Lilith tried to find every type of healer on the planet to help them. But each of them to left us empty-handed.

Luckily, the family had left me alone since I had been behaving. But I could feel the looks of discontent every time I walked around a corner. Whenever Caden was home, he was the one bringing me food to Rem's room. He usually said it was so I would not starve.

Every time, I could not help but chuckle. He confused me since I usually went to the kitchen myself to find food. I never expected the twin to do that for me. But that was when the little pup called me a guest. It made me wonder if I was that or something else.

I could not care less, though. All that mattered was waking Rem up, and they seemed to fail miserably. Well, I was too. I could not feel more useless. My powers, although great, were not meant to save anyone. All I could do was wait and hope they would find something soon.

I had always been a patient man, but it seemed two weeks of being deprived of my little luma was too much for me. After getting used to hearing her voice for the past six months, the sudden emptiness of it being gone was getting to me. It was one day later when I found myself restless, sitting next to Rem in her room.

I was so agitated that I tried to snoop around, only to find Rem's bag in one closet. It had been thrown there, forgotten in the chaos since the day we got here. A silly idea popped into my head at that moment. Perhaps if Rem heard some of her favorite music, she would come back to us. Well, to me. It was a silly thought, but at this point, anything was worth a try.

Digging my hand into the bag, I felt a book in it, instead of the headset I was aiming for. Instinctively, I pulled it out. The moment I saw the little pink book, I remembered Rem writing in it occasionally when we had a break from our travels. Though she would never let me take a peek at it.

Holding it in my hands, curiosity filled my heart. I glanced towards the shelves to see there was another similar book on it. This one was a light blue one. It appeared pretty old and had Rem's little doodles on it. Not knowing what they held within, I grabbed them both, looking through the older one first.

Opening the page, I noticed it was a journal that began five years ago.

Day 1:

‘Today, I turned fifteen. Our birthday turned out to be an utter disaster. So, I decided to start a journal. Finally, I know this is a long time coming. But I thought it would have been stupid. I mean, I tried before, and never worked. Maybe this time it’ll be different. Though I honestly feel trapped in this house and there seems to be no escaping it.’

‘Amara suggested I write my feelings down. She said it will help me cope better. And you know what? Perhaps she’s right. Maybe writing can be my escape or something. Even so, I’ll try to talk to mom tomorrow about my situation. Perhaps she’ll finally let me join Vera and the boys at school. After all, I have been stable for a while now.’

Day 2:

‘Fuck! Why don’t Vera and mom understand me?! Why do I have to be trapped here even though I feel fine?! I know I stayed behind in the beginning. I didn’t want to hold anyone back. But this house is a cage for me now! Why do I have to be trapped here? I haven’t had an episode in two years!’

‘Why don’t they try to understand me?! I don’t get it! I’m going to try and find what they are hiding from me tomorrow. That I swear it!’

Day 3:

‘I went snooping into my mom's office, trying to find some document saying I’m a freak. But instead, I saw this portrait of the most beautiful man I had ever seen. It almost felt like I got struck by lightning the moment I saw it. Dad always used to tell me about the feeling he had with Mom when he first met her.’

‘Though this worries me! Don’t tell me a picture is my soul mate?!? This is unbelievable. I’m unbelievable! Falling for a piece of paper. It’s just dandy! Instead of information, I’m doomed to love a piece of paper?!?’

Day 4:

‘Things are getting fucking weird. I had a crazy dream last night. I met the man in that picture, but he was the biggest jerk I had ever seen! The grumpiest person ever! He didn’t let me even talk to him before walking off! I won’t fall in love with a jerk like that. Then again... he was just a picture and a figment of my imagination.’

‘By the gods, I’m a strange one. Vera might be right to keep me away from her friends.'

Day 5:

‘I had another dream with that man. And again, he was the same way! I don’t get him at all! Mom still denies me, too. This is just the worst. No one wants to get to know me, but I’ll keep trying! I have to keep striving!’

It continued like that for a while... Until one day...

Day 50:

‘The grumpy wolf finally spoke back to me! It only took me two full months for him to say hi, but he did! I’m so happy! Why did something like that make me so happy? I don’t even know, but I am! This is the beginning of something. I feel it in my bones.’

‘If only he was real. Then again, no one would ever love a freak like me. Maybe it’s best he is just a dream. That way he can’t hate me as my siblings do.’

Day 80:

‘That man is still the biggest grump I had ever met, but he is slowly talking to me every day. I don’t know why I’m having these dreams, but they are the only time I feel free. I look forward to them. Especially getting to know this wolf that seems to be in pain. I wish I could soothe it somehow. If only he would rely on me.’

‘Then again… these are just my crazy thoughts. Why do I have it hard in my dreams too?’

Day 120:

‘These dreams keep happening, and I have told no one about them. No one would care either way. And every time I have them, it feels like I’m getting closer to the grumpy wolf. I started calling him by that nickname. Mostly because it gets him annoyed when he hears it. Did I mention he is cute when he is irritated? I want to push more buttons later.’

‘Though I wonder how many I can get away with before he blows! This will be fun! I... had never had a friend before, but I guess this is as close as I’ll get! Better enjoy it while it last!’

Day 140:

‘It has taken me a while, but I finally got the grumps to come with me to a blossomed forest. It was full of flowers. Of course, it was just a dream, but it was the first time we did something there! Gosh! I’m so excited to do even more things with him! This is so stupid though! I still have told no one about these dreams.’

‘But I think I want to keep them to myself. I feel happy when I’m with this black wolf. And I don’t want anyone to ruin it for me.’

Day 360:

‘So, Mom finally told me about the man in the picture five days before my sixteenth birthday. He is an actual person. And his name is Alijah. Mom says he is a broken and dangerous man, but every night I see him. It makes me realize she has it all wrong. I don’t think he is beyond saving. Although he probably is just an illusion made from my thoughts. I might be delusional like always.’

‘What is worse though is that he is already hung up on someone. Figures that the man that I fall for is already taken. Well, at least in my dreams, it’s just me and him. I can try to make him mine there. After all, it’s my dream! And I won’t take no for an answer! But the real him will never be for me.'

'It’s heartbreaking, but then again, I don’t know him for real. He probably resembles nothing of what he is like in my dreams. Right?'

Day 400:

‘Alijah, I keep dreaming of you every night. I can't stop these feelings from trying to consume me. So, I’ll try to write them down on this piece of paper hoping it’ll be enough for me. Even though I spent more than a month studying him. I can’t see him as Mom does. Is he really that dangerous? To me, he seems just to be like any other person.’

‘No, he is much more than just that. I wish my dreams were a reality. Maybe then... He would be mine. For now, all we do is talk because he sees me as a brat. But what if I could change that? I want to mean more to you, my grumpy wolf. Is it possible? Why is it so hard for me to accomplish this in my dreams?!’

Day 739:

‘Today marks the day I met Alijah in my dreams two years ago. And I finally kissed him today! I took my chance when we were in a forest in Niamoor. One I wish to visit one day. Yeah, I know he is hung up on an old love, but in my dreams. It’s only him and me there. I forget about it when I’m there with him too.’

‘Though what was surprising was that he didn’t shove me away! Though he scolded me. He tried to tell me that a kid like me shouldn’t be attacking adults. I don’t get it. He is just twenty-three and I am officially of legal age!’

‘Here marks my counterattack! Beware, Alijah, I’ll claim your heart! Even if it's just in these silly dreams.'

A soft chuckle left my lips.

Day 760:

‘After a month of hardships and evasions, today marks a glorious occasion! Alijah... finally kissed me back. It was sweet and short because Vera woke me up! The gall of her. Though she was having one of those nightmares of hers. So, I couldn’t be too mad about it. Maybe... tomorrow it’ll be even better.'

Day 761:

‘Yep, it was better. No, it was glorious! The moment my grumpy wolf saw me, he closed the gap and kissed me. It was before I could even get a word out! The feeling of his tongue on mine was something extraordinary. It led to something more, which I was happy about! But then he halted midway!’

‘Even though the small touching that happened left me in a jumble, I quickly noticed he was bothered by something. It stopped me in my tracks. I would never force him to be with me. Though it hurt me to realize that even in my dreams, he thinks of his past love.’

‘I refuse to give up. Not in my dreamland! So, instead of backing down fully, I hugged him from behind as he chuckled because of it. That smile on his lips. I want to preserve it forever. He deserves to have it always.’

Day 800:

‘After another sweet dream with Alijah, I had an unpleasant episode of my curse. Vera kind of caused me to get overly angry, and I hurt her because of it. I guess I finally figured out why Mom never let me go to school even if I appeared to be stable.’

‘Whenever I get angry, things can get ugly. It’s almost as if I lose control of my sanity and blackout. With my parents' position at stake, they can’t afford a liability like me. Especially with her and Dad's kind of work. Seems I’ll never live a normal life. The maids locked me in this room since it happened.’

‘They also took Vera away. I hope she is fine but... I can still smell the blood in my hands. Why did I do that? Why did I want to hurt her? Mom and Dad are going to be angry with me when they get home. I just know it.’

Day 801:

‘Last night, my grumpy wolf, Aka Alijah, noticed I was feeling down and tried to make me feel better. It meant the world to me how he tugged me along in the dream towards different places. Our scenery constantly changed until we arrived at where he wanted to take me.’

‘We stopped by a popular place here in Lyari, where cherry blossoms bloom all year. I had never been there, but Alijah said his mother used to visit it all the time. This was after his father died fighting in a war soon after he was born.’

‘It was probably something my imagination created to cheer me up. But it was a lovely story. So, I’m recording it here, to remember it when I feel alone. Every time her birthday came along, his mother Freya used to drag him there to celebrate it.’

‘His brother, Lucan, was already training in the army when my wolf was young. So, he always missed those trips. But on this particular one, she gifted Alijah with silver earrings. The ones he would always wear after that day. They used to be his father's before he died in an incident.’

‘His father got into an altercation with a vampire. It didn’t end well for him. My wolf explained to me that the earrings have a special enchantment. One to cancel out the ring that witchcraft spells cause on Lycans. I stayed quiet the whole time he spoke, wishing he would share more with me.’

‘After chuckling a bit, my wolf mentioned that when he was young, he hated every time his mother took him there. He said that the trip got boring. So, after his mother gave him those earrings, he asked her why she brought him every year on her birthday to this place.’

‘That was when his mother told him that this was where she had met his father. It was the place where she felt closest to him, too. So, she would celebrate her birthday there because she knew he was there with her. It was where his essence was strongest.’

‘When I asked him why he brought me there. He turned to me, reaching his hand towards me with one of those bright smiles of his. 'I want to share this scenery with you. It used to bring me warmth back in the day before she was gone. It still does kind of. Even if I haven’t seen it in years. But most importantly, I want to see you smile, little dove.' At that moment I ran to him and hugged him.’

‘Even though it was just a dream and probably fiction, I wanted to hold Alijah. And this time I didn’t take a no for an answer. Luckily, he didn’t give me one. Instead, he responded to my sudden kiss with one of his own. Before I knew it, I was under him. That was when he held me in his arms for the first time under those beautiful pink petals.’

‘By the gods... I wish I could have stayed in that dream forever. It was the best I had ever felt. And it was the first time I had felt alive since I fell off the roof all those years ago. Too bad it was just a dream. Even though it was my first time, it probably did not hurt because it was a dream.’

‘No… All I felt last night was a feeling I would never know in my actual flesh. Though tonight... I want to repeat it. Being in his arms is the warmest I’ve ever felt. So, I write it here to document it for a lifetime. By the gods… Let me feel it again and again. I love him so much. Is it weird I still feel his lips on me?’

After reading that, I found myself in utter shock. When Rem talked to me about her dreams, I thought it was cute. Something that happened because of her imagination, but what she wrote back when she was seventeen astonished me. It was something that she could have never known if it were her imagination.

Every day I read seemed eerily familiar to me. But for her to have known my memory like this was impossible. I had told no one the story of my mother. And my brother was not there.

Just how...

I glanced over at Rem's sleeping face. She seemed peaceful. I touched her cheek, unable to find any explanations to help me understand what was happening.

"What did you do, Rem?" I mumbled, not knowing what was going on.

The warmth of her cheeks pushed me onward. I knew her magic was special. But for it to have connected me with her.

Was that...

"Were they real? All of them? Every day? Impossible... But then, how did you know about that unless it came from me?" I asked her, knowing full well Rem would not respond to me.

The answers to all my questions were in these two books, and maybe my foggy memories. Back when she told me about the dreams, she also asked me if I dreamt back in that prison of mine. I had never dreamt fully, but I did zone out and daydream.

They started way before I crashed into Lilith’s dream-like realm. Time there was warped though. Past, present, and future all existed in one place. It was almost as if they were all stuck together there.

How did I get the idea of meeting Lilith there? Is it because of this? Had I done it unconsciously? I only tried when the witch Edna told me she was alive. I…

In those moments when I daydreamed, I could never remember the girl's name or face. Sometimes I could not recall much of what we did, either. No, all I felt was that I was happy right at the end. I usually would smile like an idiot, without being able to remember a single thing that went on in those moments.

I mean... I recollected a few things like it was a girl, but I could barely recall anything else. Had I called her a brat? Every word she wrote made me want to know more, though. I had to. Sitting back in the chair, I noticed it was afternoon already. It was night when I had gone through her journal. Even though I had not slept or eaten, nothing would stop me from continuing forward.

It seemed Rem's family was not here, since no one had brought me food. Though it did not matter. My hunger would not stop me from reading my little luma's words. Even if they were not meant for me. Each day that passed; Rem continued to profess her growing love for me in these dreams. Every day I read... warmed my heart in ways I thought not possible.

Until...

Day 1816:

‘After waking up again after a lovely dream with Alijah, I found Mom and Dad acting weird. In fact, everyone in the manor seemed to do the same. Vera, Caden, and Aiden would not tell me a single thing either. So, I tried to figure out why.’

‘That is when I overheard that my grumpy wolf might come soon. I’ll finally get to meet the real him. A dream... I wonder if... No, I need to tell mom about the incantation I’ve been working on when she gets here tonight. I’m sure it’ll work! Alijah, I’ll save you even if it’s the last thing I do! I promise! If you’re anything like you are in my dreams then, I need to do this!’

Day 1817:

‘Mom flat out denied me, even though Vera already helped me create the spell. All I had to do was get close enough to activate it! This is so frustrating. Why do I have to be the weak link?! I want to be more than just a burden to them! Why keep me away?! I want to meet Alijah too!’

‘Nothing good will come from complaining, though. I learned that through all my years of being in this house. I already know they won’t help me. So, I’ll have to take this into my own hands. I promise you, Alijah! I’ll save you and them!’

‘And when I do, I’ll show you how beautiful this world is! Maybe even reunite you with your one true love. It hurts to know that I am not her. Or that I’ll never be her for you, but at least in my dreams. You are mine. If I have those. They are all I need.’

Day 1824:

‘So, everyone has been gone for a week now. I got everything I need to join them. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I’ll claim my present even if it’s the last thing I do. If you find this aunty Amelia, I am sorry for being a selfish brat, but I can’t leave them be.’

‘Even if I am delusional, even if Alijah is not who I think he is. I want to save him from all the suffering. I guess this is the last time I will write here. Anyway... to whoever is reading this.’

‘This is an invasion of privacy, good sir or madam! Shame on you! As well... sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you. But I must do this because if I don’t, I can never forgive myself. So goodbye cage of the past. And welcome a new world!’

‘P.S Caden and Aiden. If you are the ones who read this, you are dead. I’ll kill you; I swear it!’

I could not help but laugh after reading that last part. This girl was too much for me to handle.

Rem... please wake up. There is so much I need to tell and ask you. So, please wake up already.

I bit onto my lip, closing her journal, placing it back where I found it. It was near dusk now. Once I placed the journal back on the shelf, Lilith came into the room. It startled me since I did not expect her to. She had food in her hands. Much to the pleasure of my rumbling stomach.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, but the maids told me you didn’t come down today for your meal. And none of us were here. So, I brought the food for you. Sorry for making you wait so long." Lilith chuckled upon seeing me be surprised by her.

I almost tumbled the shelves because of it. My cheeks were slightly warm due to it too. My poor heart had not raced this fast since Rem fell asleep.

"Sorry, I kind of lost track of time too," I mumbled, scratching my head a bit.

I felt a bit flustered by what had happened. Though it was nice of her to bring me food. I thought Fenris would have never allowed her to come to me. Surely, the wolf was not far, either.

"Don't worry. It seems like everyone is working nonstop to bring Rem back from where she is. I just wanted you to have your energy for the time the news came." Lilith smiled, placing the tray full of food on the desk, turning back towards me.

"Thanks," I simpered.

 She shook her head.

"You took care of Rem all this time. I should thank you instead. I know how much of a handful she is. Please call me Lily." Lilith announced, leaving me a bit confused, but she was right.

Rem was a handful, but not that I minded it.

"Lily," I corrected myself, grabbing the second journal in my hands.

She seemed to not want to leave just yet. Something was on her mind.

"I also came to ask you something else." She sprung.

I turned to her, placing the journal next to Rem. I would read it later when she was not around.

"What is that?" I questioned.

Lily walked over to me; her expression was a serious one.

"A silly thought that has been plaguing me when you told me, the other Lilith was alive." She began.

I suspected where this was going.

"And?" I urged her to continue, grabbing onto a chair, sitting down on it.

"Well... do you think she is under the control of Edna?" Lily asked.

I shrugged, unable to tell for sure. All I cared about at that moment was getting to Rem, not if Lilith was alright or not. It was like walking past a bug. Though... I probably should have taken a second look at her to know; if I should have obliterated her.

But that would have taken time from getting to Rem.

"I honestly don't know," I answered, not seeing where this was going.

It should not have mattered, but to her, it did.

"I see. Well... I have another question for you. If Lilith isn’t under Edna's control, what will you do?" Lily continued.

I could not help but chuckle because of it. In the past, I probably would have killed the witch either way. But there was always the chance I would have joined her, too. Thanks to this, it was painfully obvious how little they trusted me. Even though I had been behaving for the past two weeks.

"Ouch, I thought I already made my intentions clear." I sighed, shaking my head a bit.

Not that I blamed them. After all, I had not been on their side for the longest time. If it were not for Rem, I might have walked into Edna's hands. Especially if she used Lilith back when I was blind. At this point, we did not know if that was the case.

Nor did it matter because, to me, Rem was all I needed. Reading her journal made me want to wake her up even more. I desired her in my life more than anything else.

"Yes, you seem to care for Rem, but how sure can I be that you won’t jeopardize her for Lilith?" Lily went straight to the point.

I gazed at her. My answer was simple. The witch next to me knew I never lied to her before. Nor would I ever lie to anyone. No matter how brutal, nothing else would come out of my mouth.

"If... I ever find out Lilith hurt Rem out of her own volition. I’ll squeeze the life out of her myself. Even if she was in some mind control thing, I would still break her hands for taking Rem's precious time from me. Does that answer your question, Lily?" I answered straightforward.

Rem's mother took a few steps toward her daughter, touching her cheek.

"Yes, it does." Lily nodded, smiling down at Rem.

The daughter had truly made the mother's wish come true. The little luma had changed me to be who I was now.

"Tell me, Alijah. Do you love her?" Lily giggled, tracing her fingers on Rem’s face.

I knew exactly what to say. There were no more doubts in my mind, no hesitations. Once this luma woke up, I would sear it into her heart.

"I was smitten by Rem since the moment I met her. So yes, I love her. Actually, I don’t think I knew what love was until I met her, Lily. She is my light and my heart." I answered.

It caused Lilith to turn towards me with the gentlest smile on her lips.

"Good. Then I’ll fill you in on everything that we come up with. That is, if it is fine with you, Fenris." Lily glanced towards the door where her husband was.

He had been there the whole time. Taking a small peek inside, he turned around before leaving. Lily shook her head in response.

"He is a bit overprotective of his baby. That goes for the boys and Vera, too. So, I’m sorry if they are a bit of a thorn in your side," Lily sighed.

I shrugged. Caden had not been so bad. The other two, though... Well...

"Eh... It doesn’t bother me. It’s good to see Rem’s family love her. Even though she doesn't believe it herself." I started, standing up from where I was.

 I grabbed onto the book that was on the bed before heading towards the food.

"If I think of anything, that can help. I’ll let you know." I added, taking a seat down on the chair by the table.

"Also, thank you for wishing that for me all those years ago. I guess one god listened to you since I found what you wanted me to have. So..." I trailed off, trying to find the right words.

Lily grabbed onto my shoulder. Her sudden touch surprised me. I felt my ears twitch a bit, tensing my muscles too.

"It’s fine, Alijah. I’m not used to the thought that it’s my daughter, but I’m glad you found it. But if you ever hurt her. I’ll hunt you down and castrate you, okay?" Lily threatened with a sly smile on her lips.

Shivers went down my spine. I nodded, knowing full well she was serious. That smile on her lips told me all I needed to know. Shade, who had been on the bed with Rem since she got here, jumped onto the table too.

"Yes... that sounds like fun," Shade smirked.

I shuddered at the thought. These two meant business. In reality, they were not a threat to me, but she was Rem’s mother. And because of that, I would not harm her. Not while my beloved was alive.

"Yes, madams." I acknowledged their threats, chuckling a bit.

Lily suddenly pat my head like I was some house dog. A soft growl left my lips. I expected no one other than Rem to treat me like this. My cheeks were... burning.

"Good." Lilith giggled, taking her leave.

I was left there sitting down, unable to control my chuckling. The women in this family were crazy and fearless. Rem had gotten most of her features from Lilith and some from Fenris. Even though I felt unease around Fenris and the twins, I did not feel the same around Rem.

Not that she let me feel awkward at all. With everything that had happened, it made me wonder if there was more to the story of what happened back in my time.

Edna... just how long have you been pulling the strings?

I gazed towards the door, feeling a question boil within me. Lilith had stopped, turning to look at Rem one last time before she left. Her eyes were full of love towards her daughter.

"Is there something you want to ask me?" Lily asked from the doorway, noticing my gaze.

I shrugged in response to her question, hesitant to ask. But I also needed to know.

"Yeah, what is the version you have about my past? The one that the elders gave you." I sighed, tapping my fingers on the desk, not sure if I was ready for it all.

It took me a week to understand what Melody said to me. Even now, I found it hard to believe.

"Melody told me she informed you about your brother. Is that why you are asking?" Lily seemed as perceptive as always.

Slowly, I nodded.

"She did, but if that is true, then I've been fed lies since the moment they captured me. I never knew he died. They always told me he had gone off with a whore.” I stopped for a moment.

That was wrong.

“Excuse me, wife. It seems it was partly true." I corrected myself, glancing at Rem, wishing she would wake up from wherever she was.

I wanted her to be free with me. This loneliness was something I had never felt before to this extent.

"Are you willing to listen, though?" Lily asked from the door, following my gaze back to Rem.

Lilith's question hit me like a rogue dragon that crashed into me, though. Had it always been this lonely? Rem, just what have you done to me? I was becoming a mush mess.

"I think I’ll be after Rem wakes up. Sorry for taking your time." I apologized, shaking my head.

Lily shook hers as well.

"Don't be. I’ll be here to tell you when she does." She simpered before leaving.

I was left alone again with Rem. Though, part of me wondered if I should have told Lilith what I had read in her daughter's journal. No… that would have been a mistake. Eating the food that was in front of me felt bland.

I had lost the enjoyment of eating foods when Rem was not with me. Nothing felt the same without her. In the six months we had been together, she buried herself into me deeper than anyone else. Like I said to her mother... Rem was my heart.

And now with the information from the journal I read; it might have been that we met longer than that. Yet why did I not remember a single thing about these moments we spent? They seemed to be real from what Rem recorded in her journal. So how could I forget them? How would she have known about my mother otherwise? Melody?

No... it sounded like she had done that not too long ago. And the time in question was about three years ago for Rem. Either way, Lucan never knew about it. Mother died the following year before he got back from his training.

Nothing makes sense, Rem.

Finishing my food, I sat beside her again, reading the second journal. The one that recorded our current adventures. The answers had to be there.

Day 1:

‘I have a lot to catch up on, but I don't have a lot of time to write. Alijah is right next to me. We made it to Niamoor after a lot of things happened. Actually, one too many things occurred in such a short time! I still can’t believe they transpired!’

‘Alijah and I are... A couple? No... No... Sex buddies? I guess that sounds better. Yeah, we became sex buddies after a few turns of events. Though his touch is becoming addicting, and it’s terrifying me. I also told him I loved him. I... don't know what to do with myself anymore. Though, I know all that is waiting for me when this is over is pain.’

Day 15:

‘We met this exceptional old lady that fed us treats that originated here in Niamoor. Alijah, at first, did not want to even speak to the lady, but after a few of those sugary treats. He became a bit more comfortable with her.’

‘It showed me he really could adjust if needed. I was right to trust my gut feeling about him, but what am I going to do now? My heart can’t resist him. I love him and I can’t stop myself from doing so. Alijah... I’m sorry if I go past any of the lines you have placed.’

Day 30:

‘I have not been able to write much, because Alijah barely ever gives me time to, but today... I have something I need to write about, and he is asleep. So, I have the advantage today! We went to a famous forest known in Niamoor as the crystal forest.’

‘Not to any surprise, my butt ended up on the floor. It was because I was not looking down at where I was walking. How could I? The butterflies that shined like crystals were flying around me.’

‘And of course, Alijah was there to watch me make a fool of myself, like always. Though... through his laughter, I swear I heard him say I love you to me. I must have misheard. I tried to ask him what he said again. But he dodged the question.’

‘There was no way he would have said he loved me. That must have been my mind playing with me. I am a dumbass I know, but it made my heart nearly stop.’

‘How I wish he would say those words to me. It’ll never come true though.’

Reading that day made me want to stop because of the frustration that was building up. Rem had heard me and yet still pretended not to.

By the gods, why Rem? Why were you trying so hard to deny that I love you? Why didn’t you believe me when I told you back at the springs, too?

Trying to contain my emotions, I closed the journal to breathe for a second. I took a moment to understand this stupid little luma, who was so determined to love me. Yet so closed-minded for me having feelings for her. I had to continue. There had to be something in here to help me.

Day 50:

‘We have been traveling around for quite a long time now. Alijah seemed to have adjusted to speaking to people normally. He also seems more relaxed and even styled his hair differently. Every manner he does his hair looks godly on him though.’

‘But I wish he would use a different cloth to tie his hair. That is selfish of me, I know. He probably got it from Lilith, and I can’t help but be jealous of it. Would he accept one from me if I gave it to him? Stop... feeling like this, Rem.’

‘Don’t cross a line that would push him away. Alijah will never be yours to have. Right, that will only happen in my dreams and those seemed to lack too! I haven’t had one like the ones from before he got here! Will they return once he is gone?’

‘I can only hope. If they don't, I don't know if I can stop myself from hurting him. On the brighter side, I made him dance not too long ago. Not in bed, but in an actual bonfire. He picked up on it quickly, too. I wish he would always be there with me.’

The more I read into her insecurities, I realized how blind I was to them. Rem was hurting, and I did not know it. She should have asked me straight up if the cloth had any special meaning. I would have told her it did not.

Lilith never gave me anything. This cloth, I got it after I was free from the torture I lived back in my time. It was in one village I had ravished soon after my escape. I liked how it looked, so I took it. It never belonged to Lilith or anyone.

I took it from a dead merchant's shop. Rem should have asked me. I would have told her the truth, like always. Nothing was left but for me to continue. I never knew what came next would be what opened my eyes to what was happening to her.

Turning the page, I noticed there was only one left. The day when everything went to shit.

Day 187:

‘It has been four wonderful months since I last wrote in this journal. Alijah is taking a while to get out. It is probably the warm water that is coming from the shower keeping him. It almost took me hostage, too. I had almost forgotten I had bought this book.’

‘Today, it seems like I’ll need it once again. I just heard a couple of ghosts orbs talking about Alijah's future. It relates to his genuine love and how we’ll find her. It’s also where what we have is going to end. Why don't we have more time? No... I’m about to take more of it for a selfish little wish I have.’

‘I’m sorry, Lilith, but today I’m going to fuck him until morning comes. Just like I wanted from the beginning. Wait for him just a little longer. Just a little more, I promise... Just please give me this one night with him. This last night... and I’ll be gone from his heart.’

‘Not that I ever was in it in the first place. There are a lot of things I must do after we find her. I just hope my heart will hold until he is gone. Will I be able to live without him, though? After feeling everything... I have... I... No, I need to stop being so selfish’.

‘Alijah, I wanted a part of your heart. Did I ever get it? Did my selfish wish come true even a tiny bit?’

I felt my heart rip in two, reading those words, but what was below them was even worse. It was directed at me too. I did not understand why Rem wrote them. She was such a stupid girl...

I had lived in elven lands for two years. Of course, I knew the meaning of what I gave her.

Dear Alijah...

Did you also know that a gardenia has another meaning? You probably did not think about it so deeply when you got me this gift. It means joy, but it also represents a secret love between two people. You probably did not know that, right? You have brought me so much joy in these couple of months. But I don’t think you will know how much it truly was.

I always kept so much from you. Mostly about what my life was before I met you, but even so, I love you. I will always love you. This will always be a secret love too, huh? Your gift was more meaningful than what you expected, right?

Even so, I will let you go to your true love. But before that happens, I will love you as you have never been loved before. So, maybe from time to time, you will remember me. And maybe dream of me as I will of you. I will love you always and forever, my grumpy old wolf.

After reading those final words, I threw the book onto the ground, finding my way into Rem's bed where she laid. I stared at her, feeling my heart hurt in ways I thought it would never feel.

"Rem, wake up..." I whispered, touching her cheek.

She laid below me peacefully.

"I said wake up," I demanded, a bit rougher.

Rem laid there silent.

"Oi, there is so much I need to tell you. You need to wake up!" I continued to reach her, to no avail.

"Rem, I love you. I love you so much. I’ll tell it to you as many times as you need me to. So, please wake up!" I pleaded with her, only to receive no response.

Droplets of water dripped onto her face. I had not noticed I was crying until that moment. What a mess I had become.

"Oi... Baby girl, wake up... Please!" I begged my little luma, unable to stop the tears that flowed out of me.

This stupid girl needed to know how I felt. Why could I not tell her? Pressing my forehead against hers, I felt lost. I never knew I would ever feel this way about someone. Especially after everything I went through.

Love was something I thought I would never feel again. And here I was deeply in love with the luma that gave everything to find me. I was within her reach, but she would not take me on her own.

Not in the state Rem was in. I glanced outside to notice the sky had turned dark blue. Night had consumed the daylight. Tracing my finger on her lips, I gazed at her again. She seemed so peaceful. I was wrong before. This did not fit her at all.

"Rem... Please come back and keep me on my toes. Annoy me, fuck me... do whatever you want to me. Just come back to me, baby girl." I simpered, pressing my lips against hers.

A useless gesture as I kissed her every night and morning. However, this time the action triggered a sudden gentle light that consumed me, along with my consciousness. I was unaware, but someone had responded to my emotions.