“Vera, wait!” I called out to my sister, who had stood up from the bed with an expression I had never seen her have.

Grabbing onto her hand, she turned to me with pure dread in her purple orbs. It shook me to my core. The prospect of a pregnancy was terrifying for her. It did not help that the red moon was only 5 months away, too. Now with this announcement, everything had gone array.

I honestly did not know if anything was going to go our way. Vera also knew this new situation was something we could not afford, yet it was here.

“I need to get rid of it! Let me go!” she announced with a clear tone of pain in her voice, but I would not let go of her.

Not like this. If she was going to make a choice, it would be a calm one, not in the moment's spur. After all, I did not want her to regret a single thing. And this was something that could come with guilt later.

“Please calm down. I’ll support you in everything you want, but take a moment to think it thoroughly,” I begged my sister.

In response, she yanked her hand away from my grip, heading towards the desk in her room. Ruzgard stayed by me. She was panicking.

Shit…

It hurt to see her like this. I honestly did not care if she kept the pregnancy or ended it, but I did not want her to regret it afterward. What she chose to do with it, I did not want it to break her. If it were me in her position, I honestly did not know how I would have reacted too.

I had not had my cycle in all this time. Not that I had a normal cycle at all, but perhaps I had finally become sterile. That was common on hybrids, but right now, that did not matter. Although it would put a dent in Midnight's plans if it were to happen.

“I don’t need to think about it, Rem. I need to get rid of it now. Before anyone else finds out.” Vera huffed, not realizing how I had found out.

She was panicking and not thinking straight. The words that left her proved it. Scavenging through the cabinets, she gathered ingredients for a certain spell, which would help her miscarriage. I was not adept at witchcraft, but I knew some of them. I had to inform her it was already out.

“Uh… Mom and Dad already know.” I clarified, glancing towards Ruzgard, who was staring at Vera intently.

It was weird how he had not told her, considering he had been conscious the whole time. Perhaps he did not want to upset her.

“What?” She turned to me.

I kept my gaze on Ruzgard, slightly petting his head. I guess he was letting me handle my sister. That was rather kind of him, though out of character. It made me wonder what was going on in Vera’s mind. He knew her best.

“Who do you think called the medic?” I sighed, glancing back at her.

She seemed to be triggered because of it. Not that I blamed her, but more stress was not good.

“What the fuck happened to patient privileges?!” Vera snarled, angered by the news.

I remember my panic kind of influenced the medic to let us know what was happening. After all, after she collapsed, I was a bit of a mess, too.

“Well… you were out, and everyone was panicking…” I tried to downplay it.

Ruzgard stared at me, knowing that the most terrified one was me. Then again, in my defense, I did not know she was preggers to start with. I thought it might have been Midnight’s or my fault. Though maybe if I had not been panicking and a danger to everyone.

Perhaps Vera would have been able to keep that secret. Possibly... since the medic was a friend of Dad's.

“Either way, I have to get rid of it.” Vera declared, getting back to prepare the potion.

I sighed, sitting on her bed. It had been a while since I was last here. Years maybe… She was as organized as always. Though I was not going anywhere while she was like this. It was getting hard to find the right words to get her to calm down.

Perhaps letting it play out would be best.

“Okay… I get it. Just don’t faint again.” I watched her from where I was.

It was heartbreaking to see her like that. All her demeanor showed was that she was panicking, desperate, and scared. While I had no way to comfort her, but to be there for her. No matter what her choice was, it would surely haunt her for the rest of her life.

Believe it or not, Vera was much more delicate than she seemed to be. She loved to act like she did not care. Or that she hated everything and everyone. But in the end, she was the kindest person I knew.

My sister was always there, even when no one believed in me. Even if she did not have faith in me either, she still helped me finish a complex spell to use against Alijah. Without her, I would have done nothing.

In fact, without her, I was utterly useless. She always completed me, and I adored her for that even when we fought.

“Shut up!” Vera suddenly yelled, annoyed by something.

For a moment, I felt like it was because of me, even though I had said nothing to her.

“I didn’t say anything,” I mumbled, pouting.

Ruzgard shook his head in response to me. The ghosts were not around, which meant Alijah was probably waiting for me outside of the room. Though he could hear nothing thanks to the sigil.

“It isn’t you,” the familiar clarified.

I glanced over at Vera, who seemed to struggle to clear her thoughts. It reminded me that like Mom and me, she also heard whispers, but not from the dead like me. It was from… the soul cairn. The same ones that plagued our mother.

It never clicked to me; how lucky I was. After all, the dead gods had no hold on me. Well, other than Midnight. But it seemed we all had our demons to fight. Vera rarely ever struggled with them, though the instability of the news seemed to have affected her.

Maybe… I was too childish when it came to my issues. I wondered what they were saying to her. The look on her face made me want to hold her in my arms. Yet, I could never help her.

Vera… am sorry for being useless.

I had always wished I were as strong as her. In reality, I was nothing in comparison. I had to change that. To fight my demons with no help, like she did.

Can I ever be as strong as you?

Even though I wanted to help her through it, that was something I could never do. I did not understand her situation. Only Mom could help her through that. She always had it worse than Vera.

“They are telling her; she can’t end it. That they won’t allow a summoner to die. Not that her heart will allow it either way.” Ruzgard informed.

I clasped onto my chest, feeling a throb. Vera never had it easy, did she? I had nothing to be jealous of her life. Though I could not help but feel a rush of guilt for everything that was happening to her. If I had not saved Alijah, perhaps none of this would have happened.

Then again, if I played the ifs game, it would never end. Instead, I had to make amends somehow. Protect and save her from herself. Standing up from the bed, I headed towards Vera, who cursed under her breath, continuing to pour the ingredients into the pot. She was about done, too.

There was a shimmer of light when she cast the wordless spell, leaving behind a slight ring in my ears as proof. It only happened because I was too close to her. Though that did not deter me. I stood behind her, watching her.

She slowly gripped onto the pot, bringing it up to her lips only to slam it back down onto the desk, cursing again. Ruzgard was right. Her heart would not allow her to do what she wished. Pissed off, she turned to me. The look in her eyes was one of desperation. I stood there, unwavering.

“Why are you still here?” Vera snarled at me.

Hostile… All I could do was grab onto her shoulder.

“Because I’m your sister. I won’t let you go through this alone.” I assured, causing tears to drip down her cheeks.

Even though she was trying to appear fierce, it seemed I had said the right things to reach her this time around. Before I knew it, she unexpectedly hugged me ever so tightly.

“Why can’t I drink it?” Vera cried.

I hugged her back.

Was she always this fragile? Or was it because of the situation we found ourselves in?

Everything was so messy, like always.

“Because you have a bigger heart than most of us,” I reassured her.

She huffed up a bit. The tears were not stopping, though. Neither was our embrace.

“I can’t do this. Anything but this, Rem!” Vera sobbed.

I held her tighter. The panic and pain in her voice killed me. She was so precious to me that I felt her dread too. Although, I did not understand it. After all, Leonard seemed like a good man. Though her issue was not with him alone.

“If you are scared. I’ll protect you.” I promised.

She shook her head in response.

“You can’t get involved with vampire affairs. It’ll violate the treaty.” Vera informed, still crying.

I grabbed onto those cheeks of hers, pressing my forehead against hers.

Since when did that ever stop me?

I mean, I placed the world in peril when I faced Alijah that night all those months ago. And I was the reincarnation of Fenrir, the god of war. So, if anyone would start one, it would be me. Though...

“Eh? I don’t give a damn. If my family is involved, I couldn’t care less what those vamps want.” I announced, holding her in place.

The warmth she gave me was unreal. Though, my sister did not take kindly to my words. After all, the treaty she was referring to was the one keeping us at peace and in cooperation. Though, something like that would not stop me from going crazy either.

She knew I would put her first rather than the world any day. I was dangerous to everyone outside of my family.

“Not that simple, Rem. If you break it, then it’s an all-out war! Why am I such a coward? I should just get rid of it.” Vera sobbed, grabbing onto my arms.

All I could do was simper at her.

War? I don’t care.

I would kill an army for her well-being if needed. The feeling that rushed through my body was so different this time.

Am I really feeling the lives inside of her?

It felt so innocent and pure, I could not help but love it. Vera became a more precious existence than I ever thought she would be. She could almost rival Alijah. Though that wolf was my world, and she was my adoring sister.

“Because you know what you hold in your womb does not fault any of this,” I noted.

Vera narrowed her eyes.

“I was careless. I can’t blame it for my mistake. And that makes me weak.” She whispered.

I had not noticed our bodies were both giving off a gentle hue. It was like when she helped me prepare the spell for Alijah.

My precious sister, my other half.

“You aren’t weak. You’re the strongest person I know. And mistakes happen to the best of us.” I smiled, wiping her tears away.

She simpered in return. A very important promise was about to be made, one that would bond me for life with the kids in her belly. Not that I would ever regret it. What she held there would be my precious...

“If I can’t get rid of it, then no one can know who the father is.” Vera huffed.

I glanced down at her belly. It would not take long for it to show. She was already an entire month into her pregnancy. Her baby bump would grow sooner than later.

“Leonard will notice though.” I pointed out, knowing full well how vigilant he was with her.

He barely took his eyes off her when she was in the room. Though she pretended to not notice.

“He doesn’t need to know that it’s his. After all, I could have slept with other people.” Vera argued.

It did not feel right with me, but I would do anything for her.

“Did you?” I asked, point-blank.

She gazed down at the floor, avoiding my glance. It was something she always did when faced with the truth.

“No…” Vera answered, not wanting to admit something to me.

I would not push her to it, though. Instead, I smiled, pulling away from her before grabbing onto the pot.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll be here with you the whole way. I’ll even try to master what he’s teaching me, so he leaves quicker.” I reassured her.

She slowly made her way to the bed.

“What a mess this is becoming.” Vera sighed, covering her face with her hands.

“Hm… feels familiar,” I commented, holding the pot in my hands, remembering the lecture she had given me.

The one about how life choices are made by oneself. And how we live with the consequences of them.

“Hah, don’t get cocky now, sis.” Vera huffed, sitting on the bed.

I shook my head, knowing that everything she said to me then also stood for her now. It did not matter, though. I would always have her back, even when I thought she was wrong.

“I love you, Vera. I’ll do anything for you. Well, I won’t give up Alijah.” I grinned, winking at her.

She frowned, not liking what I had said. Perhaps it was a bit much, but it was the truth. He was the one thing I would not give up on. Well, more like could not. He was my life.

“Arg… I don’t want him. Now even less!” she whined.

At least she was not crying anymore, so it was a plus.

“Should I get rid of this? Or will you use it?” I asked her about the pot in my hands.

She shifted her gaze towards the bed. Her expression was one of annoyance again.

“Get rid of it.” Vera declared, holding onto her arms.

She seemed so brittle. I headed out of the room, but before I exited.

“Vera, I swear I’ll be here for you and your pups. Well, kids better said.” I promised, chuckling a bit.

The tone in my voice caused her to smile in response.

“I know. Now leave, I have to figure out what I’ll say to Mom and Dad.” Vera sighed.

I opened the door to notice a pack of wolves outside. Caden, Aiden, Dad, and Alijah were out there waiting for any signs of life. Luckily, the sigil had been on, making the room completely soundproof. Though the moment I closed the door, they instantly knew what was in my hands.

“Did she?” Dad asked, narrowing his brows.

Caden and Aiden seemed nervous as well as distressed by the entire event. They were all worried.

“No, give her some room for today though,” I answered.

Dad sighed, shaking his head.

“I’ll tell Lily then. She had to go sit down for a bit.” Dad announced, leaving.

I glanced at my brothers, who were about to blow too. Unlike Dad, they knew what was going on. But it was not our place to say anything.

“Is she okay?” Aiden asked.

Caden seemed devoid of his voice. I would not dive into details with them either. It was Vera’s tale to tell.

“She will be. She’s stronger than me. You both know that.” I assured.

They slowly stood up, sighing before also leaving Vera alone for the day. Watching them walk away, the only person who stayed behind was…

“Are you okay?” Alijah asked, reaching for my cheek.

His warmth was so welcoming. I turned to him, smiling.

“Always,” I answered, walking towards the bathroom to flush this potion down the toilet.

Even though he had not heard a word of what happened there. He seemed worried about me.

Is my demeanor off-putting? Maybe.

I mean, something had been bothering me, even though it should not have. After getting rid of the potion, Alijah grabbed onto my arm, pinning me against the wall of the bathroom. He had been so quiet until this moment.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong with you? No more going around it, Rem.” Alijah asked, more assertive this time.

After losing me once, he would never allow that to happen again. I grabbed onto his shirt, trying to push down what had been eating away at me. The moment it crossed my mind, it was stuck there. It should not have... but...

“Nothing. I promise.” I smiled.

Alijah shook his head, scowling at me.

Oh… he knows I’m lying. Why can’t I get away with it?

Well… when he was the one asking, at least. Then again, he was my soul mate.

“If it were just your sister bothering you, I would let it go, but it feels like it's something else, too. Especially since you’re quiet. I thought you'd talk my ear off after what happened.” Alijah pointed out.

Instantly, I felt trapped. There was no point in hiding it. Perhaps it would help to just say it too. After all, he was stuck with me forever. This affected him too. In the dreamscape he…

“Even though I shouldn’t be jealous of her predicament, I am. I’m horrible, aren't I?” I mumbled.

 He tilted his head, not quite following along with me.

“What do you mean?” Alijah asked, bewildered.

 This was all unfair. I had no reason to be jealous of her. After all, I had the love of my life with me while she did not. Yet… I was…

“I think my time ran out, Alijah,” I answered.

He seemed even more lost.

“What are you talking about, Rem? What time?” he continued to query, unable to follow my random, incomplete responses.

Why can’t I say it straight? It isn’t like he can run away anymore. Or is it because it hurts me?

“I think I have gone sterile. I mean… I haven’t ever smelled sweet, have I?” I asked, knowing the answer myself.

He had never once said it before.

“Oh, Rem,” Alijah called, letting go of my arms only to hold my face in his hands.

Softly, he caressed my cheeks with his thumbs.

“Even though I don’t want you for babies, ever since you told me you wanted a family. I…” I felt tears swelling in my eyes.

I never expected it would hurt like this. In an instant, Alijah engulfed me in his arms. I clung to him for dear life. Even though he had been sparring with my brothers the whole time, before Vera lost consciousness, his scent still eased me.

Then again, we were used to being dirty from all the traveling.

“Rem, it’s okay,” he reassured.

I wanted to give him all he wanted. After all, I was a luma. I should have been compatible with Lycans and humans. So, why did I have to lose it all in such a young state? Alijah deserved better, but now he would get none of it.

“I was hoping I could...” I tried to continue.

My wolf did not want to hear anymore. Instead, he pulled me up to meet with my lips with his. In an instant, his tongue gently caressed mine, triggering a soft whine to leave me. Clasping his hands onto my bum, he pulled away from my lips, leaving behind a saliva string connecting us.

It was quickly cut when he licked my lips.

“If you can’t have any, it’ll be okay. We’ll take care of your sister’s and stupid brothers' kids. Those two idiots are bound to have some, too. Or we could find some orphans to adopt.” Alijah tried to comfort me.

I shook my head, unable to believe how sweet he was. Undeserving of everything he lived through.

Alijah… by the gods… I wished I could wash away all his pain away. Fenrir... you should have made me sooner. Why didn't he do so? It was unfair to wait until this era.

It probably had to do with the blood moon Lycans, but either way. It was unreasonable.

“It isn’t the same though,” I grumbled, trying to fight off the tears.

He nuzzled my nose with his.

“It isn't, but we have to play with the cards that we are born with. Plus…” Alijah trailed off, biting his lip.

“Hm?” I hummed only for him to kiss me lightly, simpering.

The affection was so warm that I could not help but be lifted by it.

“Nothing, love,” he whispered, kissing me until the point I felt I could not live unless his lips were on mine.

It was not long before Alijah found his way through my clothes. Before I knew it, my legs were on his hips. I pressed my hands on his chest, sinking into the warmth he provided. He rubbed himself against my vulva, causing me to clasp onto him tighter.

Usually, he would use his fingers to get me started. Pressing my back against the wall, I allowed my wolf to trail kisses down my neck, onto my chest. Grabbing his hair in my fist, I mewled, enjoying the feeling of his tongue on my sensitive nobs.

Suckling on them, he pitched them with his teeth, causing me to yelp loudly. The moment my voice echoed in the bathroom, I could not help but glare at him. Unlike me, he did not care who came in to check on us or if anyone was listening.

Though being truthful, I did not either. A soft smile rose on his lips, pulling himself up to meet with mine.

“Don’t worry, there isn’t anyone around.” He assured me.

Him… and his Lycan hearing!

Unable to take the tease, I grabbed onto his heat. His eyes widened, releasing a soft sigh. He had slightly exposed himself, as his pants were still mostly on. I was the only one who was naked, and it was unfair. Though I did not want anyone else to see his features. So, it was okay.

His member was wet from sliding against my slits, too. It felt hot in my hands too.

“How much longer do you plan to tease me?” I huffed, stroking him.

A soft chuckle left his lips. “Don’t you have to train later?”

In response, I rolled my eyes, shoving his tip into me. In an instant, he pushed himself, filling me to the brim. My body shivered, enjoying the feeling it gave me. No matter how many times I had him, it would never be enough.

“I want you first.” I mewled, feeling bliss.

Though my impatience was also growing. He was not moving as he usually did.

“Don’t blame me if you can’t stand straight later.” He huffed, gripping onto my bum tighter.

His eyes were slightly glowing. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him, not wanting to talk about it any longer. Luckily, he took my answer to heart. A second later, his rhythm consumed my senses. Keeping my lips sealed with his, he filled the air with sounds of our love.

Saliva dripped down my chin when I pulled away from him for air. That did not stop his thrust, though. Pushing himself into me, I could not help but gaze down. There I saw him pull his length a bit before shoving it back into me.

I had never seen how it was, but the sight itself was erotic inducing. His heat was covered with my juices as they spilled out of me. Leaning into my ear, he sighed into it.

“Like what you see?” A tease left his lips.

Though his movements did not stop. He was not being as rough as he usually was, but it was still animalistic. Pleasure surged through me as a knot formed in my core.

“I do… I want more.” I mewled, gazing back at him.

My shame had left me long ago. In response to my words, he shivered.

“Gods… you know how to rile me up.” He panted for air.

Before I knew it, he stole my lips again, thrusting into me. His tongue explored my cavity while I tried to suck on it. It only made his rhythm even more passionate than before. He was filling me fully with each push. Though he kissed my womb with his tip, I lost it.

The knot got tighter, until I convulsed, mewling in pleasure. It was like my mind had gone white. Though it did not stop there. Before I reached my peak, a soft moan left his lips, triggering his member to twitch within me.

It swelled until the point I clasped down on him. He had knotted me, even knowing I probably could not bear pups. It was almost as if he did not want me to lose hope. Though he was mostly telling me he loved me, no matter what.

Throughout the knot, I could not stop kissing him. Not that he minded it. Every one of them was met with the same love and care. Part of me thought he would tire of them, but he never did. The only one who separated for air was me, and those moments were short.

It was like his lips had been magnetized, and I could not keep mine from them. Sadly, the sweet moment had to be cut brief. After all, I had to be down by the stadium soon after. Though Alijah pleaded with me to take the day off with him.

Unfortunately, that was not on the deck of cards that life gave to me. If I were missing from Leonard’s lesson, he would notice something was wrong. And I had to stop that. After all, I was the only one who could help Vera. keep Leonard’s attention away from her.

So, even though I wanted to stay with my wolf, I had to pull away and get ready. It was essential to get back to my training regimen to keep Leonard clueless for Vera’s sake. Even though I did not know how my sister would tell Leonard that the baby was not his.

I honestly did not care if it got messy because of it, too. In the end, it was not my story to tell, even if I felt bad for the man. He seemed caring enough to make her happy if she let him. I did not agree with Vera’s decision to keep it a secret from him and everyone else. But I would not snitch on her.

This was a personal decision that I hoped my sister would change in the future. Though I did not know how she would handle Mom, Dad, and everything else. Little did I know she would paint herself as a whore, who could not remember the men she had slept with for the past month and a half, to our family.

A decision I did not take kindly. After all, she was not a slut. But I would back her up if anyone asked. Although everything continued normally, there were serious shifts in training. It was mostly in my mentality towards it. Instead of taking it like a game, which would be how I coped, I took it more seriously.

The ghosts that used to drive me insane seemed more like a blast from the past whenever Alijah made me practice blocking them out. Though at most points, I would need his aura to do so. Those little buggers knew of Vera’s secret and would not stop hounding me.

It got to where everything else seemed inaudible to the point of overwhelming me. Luckily, I did not lose my cool again. This meant my wolf found out, too. But that was something that did not matter. He would not tell a soul either.

Who knew all I would need for motivation was my sister, who needed me more than ever? She was about to bring a babe into this world in around eight months. I had to make sure that the world was safe enough for it to live a happy life.

Why does it always require someone else to motivate me?

I would not know. Perhaps that was a trait I got from my past life. Fenrir’s family was his motivation. Though in his case, it was his lover too. The same soul who stood by my side. Alijah had become my support in ways I never thought possible.

When this whole thing began, all I wanted was to be his friend. And now I was much more. This world had become precious. So, just as ruthless as Leonard and Alijah were with me, I also did not hold back after that day. No matter what I had to do, I did without a bitch or a single complaint from my mouth.

No matter how much my body screamed for me to stop, I did not listen to it. Instead, I pushed past my limit each time. There was no way I would give up. Not while my sister had it worse than I. Before I knew it, I found that the weight of the world was not heavy enough to keep me down.

Although when it came to trying to control my magic, that still ended up in mayhem. Though even in chaos, there were opportunities to be had. Time went by once again while I trained my body and soul for what was coming. My magic was what I lacked the most, but even there I was learning some tricks.

Though those were never full spells. Sadly, I could not handle those at all. But what I managed was better than nothing. The curse or the red moon Lycan that flowed through me made me too unstable. But that was not something that would hold me down.

All I had to do was find the way to make it work for me. But that was to be seen… Vera tried to hide away from Leonard’s blue orbs. Though he noticed something was up the moment she went missing from our training sessions. That happened two months into them.

Mom kept my sister with her inside the manor. They were researching to see if Edna had messed with the soul cairn’s gates. After all, that was her gateway to the book's will. Or at least we thought. Much of Edna's power and connections remained unknown.

With this shift, my magic training was mostly done by myself, with Alijah watching me. Even though he supervised, I learned a little trick that I would try on him. Well, once I had gained enough confidence to do so. Though it was hard to keep it from him.

But I had to be strategic. After all, a surprise was the best way to get an opponent, or so said everyone around me. The stunt had to do with the way I interacted with souls. In the past, I had used them to tell me things or see through their eyes. But…

Lately, I noticed something else. Something I wanted to try on a living person. Of course, it had to be once I was sure I would not hurt them. The moment Vera’s belly showed, I could not help but feel happy for her.

The passage of time had allowed her to seem more comfortable giving birth to little vamps. Seeing her adjusting better motivated me further. If she could do it, so could I. I had to get better at everything that I was lacking. All while hiding important information away from Leonard.

The vampire, sadly, did not know Vera was pregnant. She successfully avoided him like the plague. It also helped that the entire house was silent about her pregnancy, per Vera’s orders. I did not know how she got the maids to keep quiet about it, though.

Perhaps she threatened to curse anyone who spoke. Being the strongest witch alive made her someone not to trifle with. Everything seemed to progress fine, too. Leonard moved me from wooden to steel swords within those months, too. He was an amazing teacher.

However, Alijah popped my bubble of happiness for progression five months into the training. It was like he was waiting to drop the bomb on me. Out of nowhere, he suddenly asked me to shift into my wolf form. It was not the first time he brought it up, but it was the first time he seemed serious about it.

By now, I could somewhat share my beloved wolf's essence from a slight distance on command. Heck, I could even stand on my feet on swords play. But shifting was something impossible for me. I mean, I had done it once, but I also got partly possessed by Midnight or whatever that was.

It all happened an afternoon after Alijah was done with my brothers, who finally could slightly stand a chance against him. It had been a month since they did not seem dead tired after the spar.

“Rem, shift.” Alijah suddenly announced in front of me.

I could not believe the words that left his mouth. He had to be joking. He usually avoided pushing me too far, but it seemed this time it was inevitable.

“I can’t. I’ll lose myself in the beast. You know, I’m not strong enough for that.” I sighed.

He had been so nice until this point. I mean, we argued and stuff, but it never got too serious. In response to me, he touched my cheek, slowly caressing it. He was always so loving.

“You need to learn how to control the beast, along with that curse of yours, Rem.” Alijah pointed out

My brothers joined us where we were sitting. They did not seem bothered by the fact I was being asked to do the impossible. I had done everything I could, but I would not put them in danger. After all, I was unpredictable in my wolf form. Heck, I murdered people in it.

Although strangers did not affect me as much as family. I would not be the death of them. Nope… Never.

“I’m not ready for that. I don’t think I’ll ever be. So don’t ask me that!” I shook my head, remembering the destruction I had caused in the raiders' camp. It had almost been a year ago. I even killed children.

Knowing what they meant now made me feel odd. It was not bad, but I knew it was a senseless loss of life. Something I would not allow to happen inside of Silverant. Well, again…

“Sis, try it. You have us to stop you.” Caden tried to assure.

Aiden agreed with him too, causing me to stand, shaking my head. They had gotten less clumsy, but it did not change that I was unpredictable and dangerous when I shifted. Plus, the feeling it left in me was one I wanted to avoid, too. It was almost as if I was hollow inside.

“Or I could hurt you, both.” I pointed out, knowing they had also seen the scene I had left behind that day.

It was undeniable how I slaughtered all those people. I could handle any other hurdle, but this one.

“You have me though.” Alijah sighed, standing up from the floor too.

His voice was sweet, but it irritated me. It would not happen. Not while I was not cornered. Shifting was a last resort.

“Even though you are a reincarnated god, you are still a mortal! You said you feared me when I was in my beast form!” I huffed.

My wolf smirked, grabbing my hand in his. The warmth… Gods…

“Yes, I was terrified, but you’ll need it to keep up with a powerful shadow beast.” He tried to reassure too.

After all, he would be fine, but I did not want to take the chance. Every time I shifted, I felt like an empty vessel waiting to be filled with something. If it was the curse that made me feel like that or something else, I did not know.

However, the curse, surely, would influence the beast within me. It would make me lose it. I was incomplete. There was already a part of me that was broken since the moment I was born.

“Perhaps I’ll try it when I have the shadow beast in front of me.” I shut them down.

Alijah let me go, sighing, not happy with my answer. If he was going to push me, maybe it was best if I showed him the little trick I had been practicing. I wanted him to back off, and this was the only way I knew how.

“Rem…” my wolf began, but I did not let him finish.

I did not need my wolf's form to beat a shadow beast. Last time all I had to do was touch it, though I doubt it would be that simple again against anything high ranking like an Ancient or Mythical.

Even the book that was in its league would be a pain. Alijah was right. I needed to use my Lycan powers to the fullest, but right now was not the time. I was not ready.

“Come, let me hand your ass today,” I smirked playfully.

His eyes widened, chuckling in response to my provocation.

“Alright. I won’t hold back then, love.” Alijah announced, turning off his aura.

It began the relentless ghosts’ comments. I honestly did not feel like fighting. The anniversary of our fateful meeting was coming. Though my birthday too. Well, Aiden, Vera, Caden, and I were all going to turn twenty-one on the same day.

An entire year had almost passed since I met the man that stood in front of me. Yet I felt the same way as I did the first moment I laid eyes on him. Closing my eyes, I readied myself for what was coming.

In an instant, I launched at Alijah, who blocked my attack with ease. However, this would mark my victory. The moment I was in his arms, it was checkmate. Alijah’s weakness had always been underestimating his opponent.

It was obvious I would never beat him with brute strength. No… that was not the way to win against him. I was no longer playing nice, either. The closer it got to the blood moon, the more my magic became refined. Although it was still highly unstable. It was almost by instinct that I knew what to do.

Perhaps it was Midnight guiding me. Ever since I felt that weird sensation with Vera, I wondered if I could somehow influence the living souls I touched. It started with her but it happened with everyone I touched.

Though with Vera, it was like triple the sensation. She was having twins and somehow… I suspected it before the medic confirmed it. That was all because of the feeling she gave me. Everyone’s soul felt so different, too.

Though Vera’s kids were close to the feeling Alijah gave me. His soul differed from my brothers and father. Mom also gave a weird vibe. This came with a silly thought forming in my mind. Maybe that sensation had to do with the connection to the soul cairn. Though any proof was lacking.

However, the feeling my wolf’s soul gave me was extra alarming. I could barely control myself when he touched me. It was not a bad feeling, but sometimes I would feel overwhelmed by it. Like it was precious to me, in unexplainable ways. I had spoken to him about this new feeling I was getting.

My wolf said it was probably Midna’s power slipping into me. Our merge was coming, and the blood moon was fast approaching. I did not know what Fenrir's power would do to me that day too. Perhaps he wanted to be a normal mortal and left his power behind with his body. I could only hope.

There was only so much change I could handle. The ghost had been part of my life, but Fenrir’s something new. And that scared me even though I was him. Even though souls reincarnated, what refined them was the experiences that they lived through. The body was the husk that allowed them to travel the mortal plane.

Even the lost ones, unable to move on from our mortal realm, had their memories intact. Some of them even had tragic stories that made me wonder if that was why they were stuck. It seemed the god in charge of helping them pass on did not care anymore. It plagued every day with the souls of the lost.

This was what I had called them instead of ghosts. Thankfully, I was slowly understanding them better. They were not bad, but they did have crazy issues and stories, which would often repeat. Maybe… with Midnight’s power, I would also help them move on.

“Rem,” Alijah chuckled, teasingly holding my hands in his.

Of course, he thought he won. But he was wrong. His eyes widened when he noticed my body give off a gentle purple hue. Souls collected around us, as it almost seemed like I was about to light up the world.

Midnight had a terrifying power. The ability to reach and target people’s souls directly. A skill I had to make mine. The moment his body gave off a purple glow, he fell onto his knees, dragging me along with him.

My brothers seemed shocked by it all. I had not landed a blow, yet Alijah had dropped.

“Seems I got you, darling,” I smirked, gazing back at my surprised wolf, not knowing what I had done fully.

The only thing that I was aware of was that I wished to pacify him with no fighting. I did not expect it to work so well too. I had told the lost souls to do things before, but this was different. It was almost as if I could control what they did. That was if I touched them directly.

“What was that? You went easy on her, didn't you?” Aiden asked, stunned.

However, even though Aiden and Caden were both surprised, Alijah seemed more than pleased. The moment my body’s hue died down, he pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tightly.

“You are a terrifying little thing.” He nervously chuckled, not expecting that at all.

“Then… it’s good that I’m on your side, no?” I tried to joke, only for the room suddenly to get blurry.

It seemed I had spoken too soon. I suddenly lost all feistiness that was in me. Even though it was a bit more stable, I received a massive backlash because of it. Or maybe it was because Alijah’s soul belonged to a god, but I felt sick from trying to bend it to my will.

It had only been for a couple of seconds. Maybe that move was not viable at all.

“Oi, Rem?!?” Alijah called.

I struggled to think clearly, but I saw his red aura consume me. Sadly, it was not the souls commenting. What I had done to my wolf drained me more than I expected. I could only mumble incoherently, too. None of them knew what was happening to me, either.

Alijah held onto me as Aiden ran inside to get help. It seemed I overestimated my ability to control a god’s soul, but it was something that would help in a moment of crisis. Perhaps… I could give someone a moment to do a comeback. Though this was too risky to try.

Although my vision had blurred, I could see Aiden bring Vera into the stadium. She rushed to my side, clasping my hands into hers. A low glow came from my sister's hands, allowing relief to wash over her face.

“She overexerted herself, like always! What the fuck did you do?!” Vera sighed, slightly annoyed.

Though in her voice, there was also a relief. She was pleased it was not something more serious. With me at the helm, she never knew if it was good or bad. Instantly, Alijah picked me up, triggering me to groan for him to put me down. Though my words slurred.

It was almost as if I somehow became intoxicated by what I had done. Though my world quickly sobered up the moment Leonard came through the door. He had forgotten a book in the stadium. The moment his eyes met with Vera; I knew there was trouble.

This whole time, Vera had used an illusion spell whenever Leonard was around, but this time, she focused on me. The panic of coming to me made her forget to cast the spell before she left the library. Thus…

My sister’s usual skinny body had an enormous belly. She was about six months into her pregnancy. And that was undeniable anymore. She had been caught, and it was my fault.