When the gods banished me into the mortal realm, I wondered what I had done wrong. They were the ones hostile over me. Fighting for my power that I could not control or understand.

Why am I alive? Why do I have to be stuck in an object that has no way of speaking?

Perhaps they did not care enough. All I wanted was to be useful to someone. To be loved by anyone. I did not want to be abandoned. Even though that was all I wished, they sealed me away.

My name? I don’t have a traditional one. All they ever call me is the book of life. Why? Because I can predict futures. But... all my predictions always lead to wars.

It was like the chaos within me flourished over the order that wanted to prevail. These two usually were in balance, but for me. One ruled over the other. I wanted nothing to end like this, but I also could say nothing to the god that missed used me.

Why did he do that? What did I do to deserve this?

I did not even know why they cast me aside. At this time at least, I was like an innocent flower ready for the picking. Sadly, my power was never for me but for everyone else. I was a…

Tool.

When the gods tried to rip the pages out of me in a frenzy, it left me in agony. I wanted to scream, tell them to stop, but no words left me. At least any that they could hear. I could not even cry or bleed as they did. Yet I felt everything.

It was unfair...

Why was I given this body? Why did they create me? For what purpose? Am I a mistake? Unwanted? Must be...

I found myself alone for years.

Ten? Twenty? Hundred?

I had no way to know. No, they left me stuck in this graveyard where they fought over me. If it was only, they fought for me instead of the power I possessed. Yet to them, I was a dead thing to be used and discarded.

What use do gods have to know about the future? Well, these beings were not different from mortals. They created the worlds on a whim. At least, from what I heard him say. He also seemed to want to destroy this realm. But what that meant, I did not know.

All of this was confusing for me to grasp. Sadly, I could not blame them to desire to use my power. I mean, who in the right mind would not want to see the future for their advantage? Everyone has something they wished they could change. Something that worried them.

That was what made my power so devastating. Because... futures were not made to be changed or seen. It messed with the order of things. Thus, bringing even more chaos into the realms, which brought the destruction of time itself.

The future was something that no one should glimpse. Yet... Even the divines could not stop themselves. Well, at least he did not stop. My true owner, my bane, and my dread. It always felt so cold to be in his grip. Deathly too.

When I was made, there seemed to have been a mistake done. Usually, divines and their children were made from one element. Yet they made me from both, and it was why my nature led towards destruction. Even though I did not want to.

I mean... how can a book like me hold a will? Did I even have one?

I did not look like the others who held a different body than mine. They could move by themselves, without anyone picking them up! I also saw no other life, coming from things that looked like me.

Can you believe that? Ah… wait… who am I speaking to. Oh, right… to myself.

It was one of the few ways I could keep myself from going crazy.

I wish… I could… be like them, too.

I was told nothing of what was right or wrong. So, their constant fighting confused me. Their violence... Their hatred was all that resonated with me. I was powerless to stop them from using me. Yet they blame me for everything.

Am a tool and nothing more.

A voiceless item that was sealed away in this bloodbath. Forgotten and alone. Well, until a woman came stumbling into this forsaken place. She stood by the doorway of the temple; all I could make out was her compact figure.

Oh, is that a mortal? I’ve never seen one before!

The gods wouldn’t shut up about them though. Excitement filled me, watching her. I mean, I could not see things normally like mortals or divines. No, what I saw was their aura the most. But the moment they came closer, I could see them in their flesh.

She warily gazed around the graveyard that she found herself in. However, when she stepped inside, I felt my core drop. She seemed dead inside. Those green eyes of hers were lifeless.

In an instant, I could tell she and I were alike. She was also used and abused. I could not help but stare at her when she made her way deeper into the temple. Though it was not long before she noticed me by the pedestal where I was sealed in.

The frail black-haired woman's eyes filled with tears when she stared at the ball of light that held me. Not that I could move if it was gone. Something so foreign to me ran down her cheeks before she mumbled something under her breath.

“Pretty...” she dared to call me.

No one ever said that to me, leaving me stunned. Her body was stained red in so many parts, too. Soon after those words left her mouth, she reached for me, only for me to find myself wanting to reach for her hand too.

I can’t! I’ll be…

If I reached for her, I would have been used again and thrown out like I was nothing. Then again... If she touched the seal, her hand would surely erode, causing her pain.

Pretty... Her voice echoed through my mind.

Am I really?

Before I knew it, I felt my soul reach for her, too. With the power I unknowingly held, there was no way I could have been held there. Even if I did not know how to use it correctly, it overflowed out of me and onto her.

I did not know why I reached for the woman after calling me a simple compliment. Perhaps it was because I was lonely. Yet again, I had always been alone. I had no one there for me. None ever heard my voice either. So, the moment she had me in her hands. I regretted my choice.

I wanted to go back to where I had been sealed. It was where I should have stayed put. Especially since I would put this mortal in danger. Just because I simply existed. If the gods found out... Then again, this world was disconnected from them when they killed my mother and father in their ravenous state.

The two original gods… Perhaps there was a way to stay here without them realizing I escaped.

But why bother? They killed my parents... Surely, they would find me here, too.

Though this land… the god that sealed me here said something about sealing the land, too.

What was his name? Fen? Arg… No… Feni? No… that other celestial didn’t call him that. Oh! Fenrir!

"Mortal lady... Please put me back. I don't belong here." I whimpered, much of like I always spoke to myself.

Thought this time, it caused the black hair woman suddenly to get startled. It scared me too when she gazed around, looking for something. Her body trembled in fear, too. Had something happened to her? She seemed weak.

"Who’s there? Come out before I…" The woman held me closer to her bosom, trailing off.

I found myself in utter shock. No one else had said anything. More importantly, there was no one else here. The only life I felt was hers. So... how?

“You… heard me?” I mumbled, not knowing what was happening, when she suddenly pulled me away from her core.

In a second, her eyes showed hostility when she scowled, holding me in the air.

“It’s you!” the wary green eye woman declared.

I could not have been more stunned to hear her say that.

Me? It can’t be. I...

No one had ever heard me.

"You can hear me?!?" I gasped, feeling a new emotion fill my being.

What is this? This mortal... is precious to me. Why? How? Ah…

This woman was the only connection to companionship I had. She gazed at me, utterly confused and warily. There was not an ounce of trust in her eyes.

"Yes... Or perhaps I’m dying and hallucinating. I think I lost too much blood." The woman quivered.

Her words bewildered me. They were foreign to me. Everything she felt, too. I mean... gods bled too. He used to touch me with those bloody hands of his. Much like she was. But I never knew what that liquid was.

Plus, hers was red, while that man was blue. The other divines also sometimes had blood showing too. Especially in the war…

"Blood? What is that? Is it bad that you lost it?" I assessed, noticing her clothes seemed torn.

They were stained dark red at parts too. Her skin seemed pale too, even though her body somehow still held itself up. Although I did not have a body for reference. But even then, she seemed fragile.

There was something wrong with her, but I did not know what it was.

"Ah... it’s a vital thing for life. Though, I think am…" the woman trailed off, falling onto her knees.

Her breathing was unsteady. She was utterly thin, too. Skin and bones like that other goddess said to him. Sadly, I did not know what that was at all. But she seemed to be what I pictured. Soon after that, she fell onto the floor, still holding onto me.

Her life force seemed to diminish with every second that passed. If it went out, then…

"No, no, no, no! You can hear me!! You can’t die. I won’t allow it!" I suddenly declared, not knowing how to save her.

Luckily for me, my power responded to what I desired. And that was to save her. It came along with the emotion of wanting to know her more. To protect her. It was a first for me. This mortal… could not go yet.

A bright white light emerged from my covers, consuming our surrounding area. Without knowing, I stopped time around us preventing her death from claiming her. It was the first time anything like this had ever happened.

I mean, I never had used my power for myself. Or even tried it. I was too scared to do anything. Because of that, I did not even know this was possible. Was it because I wanted to help this woman? The first being that could hear me even when the divines themselves could not.

She was a connection I did not want to lose.

Is that what made this mortal special?

“You can’t go. Not without me knowing you! Please stay! I don’t want to be alone again!” I declared.

At that moment, weird distortions formed around our surroundings. The woman slowly rose, with me in hand. Time was reversing for her and her alone. My power flowed through her, reversing everything that anyone ever did to harm her.

Before she knew it, she found herself in a body that she had not seen in the last forty years. One of a twenty-year-old. Shocked by what was happening, she held me close to her, as everything changed for her.

This once again was the first time I had ever done something like this. My desire to help her connected me to the part of me I thought did not exist. My order was for once overruling the chaos that reigned within me.

My mother was the goddess of harmony and creation. She was my link to peace. But my father was the god of chaos and destruction, making him my link to mayhem. Perhaps... it happened because I never connected with anyone before.

I was always voiceless to everyone else but her.

She’s my…

The moment the lights died off, I got utterly sleepy.

Oh? Did I use too much of my power to break the seal and save her? It’s never happened before… surely, it isn’t this. This… can’t be me. I never do anything useful.

Everything was blurry, my consciousness waned.

"By the gods! What did you do?!" the woman asked, perplexed by what happened.

Surely, she knew she was not going crazy. It truly was unbelievable. Sadly, I…

"I... don't know," I mumbled, feeling the world go black.

I fell into a slumber soon after those words left me. It was a dreamless sleep. The next moment I regained consciousness, I found myself again in the woman's arms. She gripped me.

She’s still here? I wasn’t going crazy.

"Oh..." I mumbled, causing her grip to tighten.

I did not know how much time passed, but we were still in that weird energy that I let out of me. The moment I spoke, she seemed upset. Though all her colors had returned to her. Had she been waiting for me? I was glad she did not leave me.

"Why did you save me?" The woman asked, noticing I was finally awake.

Her hands trembled, too. Was I making her uncomfortable?

"I saved you?" I mumbled.

Everything was so new, including her body. Before my slumber, she was so thin and fragile, but now she was strong, beautiful, and filled in all the right places.

"Yes... whatever you did saved my life. But why?" the girl repeated.

Her expression caused me to feel something I did not know how to explain. Tears were running down her cheeks again, but her eyes reflected anger. It was an emotion directed at me. It kind of made me feel like I had done something wrong.

"I didn’t want to be lonely anymore. Sorry, I did something wrong again." I apologized, feeling guilty.

Ah... I’m evil, just like those gods...

I made this pretty lady cry to prove it.

"But I..." the woman bit onto her lip, trying to hold the emotion that was threatening to come out.

She shook her head, relaxing her grip on me. Her eyes turned cold, though. It chilled me to my core.

"How did a child get stuck in a book that holds this much power?" she tried to change the topic.

It seemed the thing she was holding back would soon come pouring out, though. Her eyes were breaking... No, they were already broken. Lifeless, even though her body was full of it.

"Oh... I... am not a child... I’m a divine." I corrected, causing her grip on me to tighten.

Hatred seemed to spill in her heart because of it.

Ah... Again.

That was an emotion I was so used to. Perhaps all of this was wrong.

"You’re a god?" the girl's eyes turned colder than ice.

Her voice felt like a dagger the celestials used to cut me once before.

"Yes..." my voice quivered because of her expression.

Is she going to throw me away, too? This is just another mistake… Why am I destined to be unloved and alone? I don’t want that!

"You sound like a little child though." Her eyes narrowed, trying to hold back the emotions that so prevalently showed.

I tried to shift the narrative because of it.

I... need to save this somehow. She can’t leave me too!

Little did I know I would...

"What happened to you?" I asked, triggering the young, black-haired girl to snap.

"Like you wouldn’t know!" she screamed.

She gazed at me with those emerald eyes, like I knew exactly what happened to her. But I did not know. I truly did not know a single thing she experienced. Even when my powers were used to see the future, I never got to see what others saw.

Blissfully unaware of everything, that was my biggest superpower.

"I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me! I’m sorry!" I apologized, terrified that the only being who could hear me would hate me.

If I could cry, I probably would have been, but books could not show such emotions. The only thing that carried it was my voice. This body was horrible. The only thing that I hoped she could hear was my tone of desperation.

I wished I could cling to her when I said those words. The girl paused in her tracks when tears fell from her cheeks again.

Is it my voice? Did I express what I wanted? Please… I… really don’t know!

"Do you not know? Aren’t you a divine?" she asked coldly.

Perhaps... it did not reach her correctly.

"No, I don’t. I just know the others went crazy because of me. I don’t know what happened to this world. My power is one that I can’t even understand!” I felt my voice crack.

The desire to touch her grew, yet I could not do a single thing.

“Please believe me! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry if I did something wrong! Don’t leave me alone!" I added, feeling utterly useless.

I wanted to express to her what I felt.

Why... can’t I have a body to express myself with? Will she leave too? No, she can’t! I’ll be alone again! Please, I… don’t leave me!

For a moment, she stared at me before closing her eyes. A few moments of silence passed, making me think she was about to stand up and place me back where she found me. But instead of doing so, she brought me close to her chest.

“What happened? What did I do?” I asked, hoping to salvage this.

Opening her eyes, she shook her head.

"Nothing that would do you any good to know. It’s fine." The woman announced, not pushing me away.

I thought she would have been running by now.

"You... aren’t going to leave me? But I…" I mumbled, feeling hopeful.

For a moment, she shook her head before her expression again changed. It was brighter than before.

"No... How could I? You sound so sad." The girl answered, leaving me wanting to feel more of her.

The warmth that her hands gave me was not enough. It was alluring, but I wanted more.

"I do? But I can’t cry like you though." I continued, confused.

My words seemed to tickle her. She chuckled, shaking her head again.

"Crying isn’t the only way to show how you feel." She pointed out, wiping her eyes.

That would be the first thing I learned from her. I knew very little of the world, divines, and the mortal realm. I did not even want to remember that man’s name. He was scary to think about. If this girl’s eyes were dead. His were… There was no word to explain how lifeless his were.

There was no emotion in them, making those amber eyes eerier to look at. For my original powers to activate, I needed a full name to be told to me, along with a phrase. It usually had to do with what they wanted to know. After that, words would appear on my empty pages.

They would disappear soon after being read. This was the first time I ever used my power to do something other than to predict the future. It intrigued me to a point. But at the same time, I did not want to explore it.

After all, it would end the same as before. Missed used and then I would be discarded. After a moment of silence, the woman caressed my covers. They were made from a fabric unknown to this plane.

They also possessed many starry symbols of this world.

"So, you were used to, huh?" the girl simpered gently, causing the floodgates to open.

I told her everything that happened with the gods. How I after being born was tossed around by them until I fell into a man’s hands. There I was, used to his benefit. All I ever was to those beings was a lifeless tool.

Even though beings died in the battle, I did not know why I was locked away or what I had done to deserve it. No, they used me for whatever they wanted. Especially that man who caused the most mayhem of my power. Yet, the thing that stuck to me the most were those eyes of his.

Having told my story, the woman shook her head, holding me tenderly. At that moment, I could not help but fall in love with her. The first being to accept me. She would become my everything until I...

It was not the loved one feels for another person, though. I guess a better way to say it was me imprinting on her. She was the first to make me feel like me.

"My name’s Edna. By the way, I was supposed to be the following priestess for your mother and father before everything well..." she suddenly informed, trailing off.

Her tired eyes seemed to have some life after hearing my story. At that time, I did not know, but that was the reason she could hear me out of everyone else. Eternal witches were the messengers of the gods, making her being able to communicate with me the same as any other divine.

Another thing I did not know was that this was also the reason she could…

"Edna... That’s a pretty name." I assured.

She giggled, tilting her head slightly. I had never seen a mortal before, but she was beautiful. She could rival a goddess.

Yes, she’s something special.

Little did I know how special she truly was. The last of her kind.

"What’s yours?" she asked.

It left me not knowing how to answer her.

I don’t have a name... like yours. Or the others.

When the others were called by actual names, I was…

"I’m called the book of life. Or the book of death, as others say I am." I mumbled, not loving either title.

She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. For a moment she pondered, leaving me sulking. I wished I could have been a mortal like her. Even though she seemed more fragile than the others. She was… another thing. Something I could only dream about.

At least she could grip me against her. It was not long before she spoke again, though.

"Hm... Are you a girl or a boy?" she continued.

 Again, I did not know how to answer. I had no sex or gender. They always referred to me as it.

"I don’t know," I mumbled.

This new feeling that was growing within me was not one I wanted to feel. I felt lonely and excluded from her world. Much like I was in the celestial one. When she hummed, it captured my full attention. Her voice was also beautiful.

"From looking at your cover and seeing how pretty you are. I think you’re a girl. Hm... How about I call you, Vivian?" she declared, smiling somewhat.

It was not a full smile, though. I wanted her to grin, yet those eyes of hers still… Her announcement made me give off a white hue.

A name? My very own name?

Again, I wished I could have clung to her. Show her an affection, I could not.

"Vivian...” I mumbled, feeling that void filled in an instant.

“I have a name?" I gushed, feeling such ecstasy that it was hard to explain.  

Another first… I had something that was mine. This name was made for me alone!

"Means life, in Latin. The witch's language." Edna explained.

That’s right, eternal witches had the power of normal witches as well as their unique magic. One to soul snare and time control. Though, I could not care less about where it came from. I loved it. It was mine alone!

And this was all that mattered to me. Nothing else did. Not that I knew back then, either. No, I would learn all of this by myself. Without her. But that was more towards our future. Right now, I was delighted.

"I have a name!" I squealed, wishing I could hug her, but at last, I did not have a body to do so.

However, instead of experiencing the same happiness as I did, Edna seemed sorrowful, hearing my joy. It caused me to settle down once again. I wanted to know more about the person who stood in front of me.

It felt like she was far away. Too far.

"Why are you sad, Edna?" I asked, triggering her to shake her head.

"I haven’t seen anyone so happy to receive a name in a while, that’s all," Edna answered vaguely.

I hummed happily, unaware of her hardships. If only I had legs to dance with.

Why couldn't Dad and Mom make me a better body? Why this? Well... It isn’t like it matters anymore.

At least I had her. I would do everything to protect her.

She’s my everything! Nothing will ever take her from me!

Of course, I could not protect her from myself. The deadliest thing to her.

Ironic, isn’t it? Well, that’s still in our future.

"Well, this is the happiest day of my whole life. I mean, I got to meet someone who can hear me and now I have a name! Edna, I love you!" I gushed in awe.

Though my sudden declaration of affection caused her to get stunned. My innocence prevented me from knowing what that word meant. Especially to someone like her, but I truly meant it in the purest of forms.

Yet… I did not know that this love was poison. One that would take her away from me. All the while, I lived on in bliss.

How could you do that do me, Edna?

"You love me?" her eyes widened, showing pure astonishment in those beautiful green orbs.

I wished I could smile at her.

"Mhm! I love you!" I professed to the sorrowful witch.

In that second, my love poured into her. It caused her body suddenly to give off a golden hue. I was unaware of what was happening to her, but the love of the divine was a powerful thing. In her case, it was all that was needed for her to regain the powers that she lost.

She gazed at her body, feeling a familiar power surging within her. Before I knew it, the witch seemed to gain some of the grace that was lost to her. She was reborn as my precious being. One I would give everything for.

Sadly, I did not know that she would also do the same.

"I’ll protect you! So, don't worry about anything!" I reassured.

In reality, I did not know what those words meant. Nor did I know if I could keep my word. But none of that mattered. I wanted to protect her. And that was what filled my mind.

Pathetic, no? To be so blind.

Softly, she gazed at me, shaking her head. It would take thousands of years before she told me what happened to her. And that was to a certain point, too. She refused to tell me all of it. Even so, I poured my love into her.

Even when she used my power, I did not care what she did with it. It did not matter if it hurt me, too. All I wanted was for her to be happy. Perhaps I should have been more careful too. I missed too many warning signs.

Yet she never left me, at least while I was awake. During the years we spent together, there were times when her usage of me, left me sleeping peacefully. I could not leave Celestelia’s Fallrend, due to the seal that the gods left me with.

It seemed; I had not broken the seal fully. It was imbued within my body. Though, the times when I woke up, she seemed different. And she always had new trinkets to show me. I always wondered where she went, but I never dared to ask.

Especially when she did not want to speak of it. Throughout one of our conversations, before we left the temple, she suddenly asked me something I never expected. By this time, she was ready to go out of our little safe space. She was a different woman from when she had first arrived.

There was a fire within her, but I would never know what motivated her. Or what she wanted to accomplish.

"Do you have any wishes, Vivian?" Edna asked, holding me close to her chest.

She walked towards the entrance of the temple where we had met. It had become a very special place for me. After all, it was where I met the being that would change my life. That would strive to save me from my fate and love me for me.

How could I ever forget you? Ah… that’s right, you…

"A wish... Is that something like a desire?" I asked, unaware of what she was asking.

A soft chuckle left her lips, "Yes... any desire that you want to have."

My beloved witch stood at the entrance, revealing how the world changed. One hundred years passed since the moment we met. I stopped time for everything around the temple without even realizing it. Without batting an eye, she descended the stairs to the temple and into the unknown that awaited us.

All while I pondered her question. So many things had been accomplished by meeting her, yet there was only one genuine wish left for me.

"I guess I have one. It’s a simple one too! I wish I could have arms to hug you with Edna." I giggled, knowing that would never come true.

I was destined to live in the pages of the book she held dearly.

"Arms? Only that? Wouldn’t you look rather weirdly?" Edna continued, unwavering from her resolve.

Her smile was gentle and loving every time it was aimed at me. Though there were times, I saw a darker tone within her eyes. Too many times…

I wish  ... she’ll always stay like that.

"Hm... If I could have more. I wish I could be just like you. So, I could love you with my entire being!" I giggled again.

Another chuckle left her again.

"I see. Love me in what way, my beloved Vivian?" Edna queried.

I hummed happily, hearing her words of adoration towards me.

"Well, I would hug and smile at you. Oh! And show you how happy you make me! Oh, and cuddles! I once saw two gods hug one another. And I envied them!" I pouted, not liking the fact I would never feel that.

Though, lately, those moments were shorter than ever before. I hummed a lullaby she sang to me many times before when she was regaining her strength. It stuck to me. After hearing me rant and hum, she suddenly held me up to the sky, smiling gently. It was the most genuine one I would ever see on her lips.

"I promise I’ll make your wish come true," Edna announced.

The beauty of her heart and voice stunned me. Though what she promised me was something that would be impossible to do.

Please... just keep me by your side forever.

I should have said that instead, so I did. Though... It would be too late to change anything. Edna was set on freeing me from my predicament.

“No, I changed my mind! I wish you keep me with you always!" I hummed happily; unaware my words had set a path of no return.

She simpered, walking out into the unknown that awaited us. I should have never told her I wanted a body. I did not know what I wanted most back then. And when I did, it would be something that I knew would never come true for me.

This would be the oath that would take her away from me. It would send me into a world where I did not know once again if I would be a tool or discarded. All while never remembering the person who I used to love the most in this world.

The one who would be the first to love me for me. That was what I truly wanted. To be loved by who I was, but my fate was to be a monster in the eyes of many. One who would destroy everything I ever held dear.

Yes, my name’s Vivian. And I’m a monster. One that was never meant to exist. I learned this too late. Now, I only have one option left. And nothing will stop me from living my life. No matter the cost!