Part 1 – Alive
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“UNI… are you still functioning? I need you… to perform a system diagnostic check.”

PERFORMING SYSTEM DIAGNOSTIC CHECK OF ORION-32-181LM…

…DIAGNOSTICS COMPLETE.

…SYSTEM FUNCTIONALITY AT 72%.

…DAMAGE TO LOCOMOTIVE SYSTEM DETECTED.

…DAMAGE TO COMMUNICATIONS DETECTED.

…DAMAGE TO OFFENSIVE AND WEAPONS SYSTEM DETECTED.

…DAMAGE TO MEMORY CONTROLLER DETECTED.

…DAMAGE TO UNIT SYSTEM DETECTED.

…ALL OTHER CORE SYSTEMS FUNCTIONING.”

I slowly opened my eyes as my senses slowly came back to me. Flashes of light started to come from both sides just outside my field of vision. As my eyes started to focus, I saw dark smoke floating towards the darkened sky, followed by a harsh vibration. Those vibrations followed by a loud thundering rumble started to become more immense.

“Explosions? Where is that coming from?”

As my eyes started to focus, I started to see my surroundings more and more clearly. Looking up, I could see the flashes of artillery bombs and missiles, with dropships darting across the dark-grey sky. Raindrops started to fall, with the harsh wind blowing dirt and debris across my face.

Wanting to pick myself up, I tried to lift myself, but I felt like my legs couldn’t move. Looking back at the flashing-red screen on my HUD, my sensors were indicating that my legs were damaged. Wanting to get out of the open, I slowly pushed myself back using my two hands until I hit a piece of a ship’s armor plate and placed myself in a sit-up position with my back against the partially-destroyed metal plate.

As I looked down to see the damage upon the legs, I saw why I couldn’t get up in the first place. As I looked in horror, my left leg was completely twisted the other way, and only wires hanging from my thigh from where my right leg should be.

“Shit.”

“What about Ken and Sai? Are they… still alive?”

I couldn’t help but hold my breath, telling myself that I probably already knew the answer, but still grasping to hope that my squad members may still be alive.

“UNI… search for Ken… and Sai…”

“…SEARCHING.

BIO-VITAL SIGNATURE NOT DETECTED.

SQUAD MEMBERS ORION-32-333LM… NICKNAMED KEN… AND ORION-32-742LM… NICKNAMED SAI…

MAIN ORACLE CORE SIGNATURES NOT DETECTED.

REASON… PRESUMED TO BE DAMAGED OR DESTROYED.”

I already knew that my squad members were probably dead. We were shot down before the fight even began. Somehow, the enemy forces knew we were coming, but I didn’t know how, and for some reason, I didn’t care. I was surprised that I managed to survive, even in the blundered condition I was in now. I looked back towards the dark sky and let out a deep breath, as I continued to watch and hear the bombardment of explosions that were going around me. My time was short, as it was only a matter of time the enemy forces would push forward and eventually kill any remaining survivors.

Using my two hands, I pushed myself back towards the edge of the smoldering crater I was lying in, trying to get a better view of the battlefield.

I slowly lifted my left arm, struggling to mutter the words I needed.

“UNI… are communications still online?”

“AFFIRMATIVE.”

“Then, I need you to contact Control.”

“AFFIRMATIVE. CONTACTING CONTROL…

…UNABLE TO CONTACT CONTROL.

REASON… SIGNAL JAMMING IN PROGRESS.”

“Shit… *sigh* I can’t even get in contact with anyone.”

I looked around my surroundings once again to see if there was anything I missed or something that I could use. But all I could see from within the hole I was still stuck in was just broken parts of our ship and burnt rubble. I listlessly stared into the sky while listening to the continuous explosions and gunfire outside. I tried to think of a plan to possibly get out of this situation as I watched the dreary clouds pass slowly by. In a way, I was also hoping that a mortar strike would hit me, or somehow a wild grenade or projectile would be tossed over. I closed my eyes for a moment, “It didn’t matter if I was terminated either way. My main purpose had already been fulfilled.”

“You have your directive. Your mission. Your sole purpose of why you exist, so follow it… to the end.”

Our squad was one of many others that were designated to go head-on into the frontlines of the battlefield. There were thousands, maybe even millions of other battle androids in squads just like ours.

We, battle androids, were designed and built to go head-to-head against the enemy, which led many to their destruction just days or weeks later. Created to be cannon fodder, grunts, and skirmishers. And every android that was assigned to this unit class knew this. From the second we are activated, we have our designation, unit class, and our purpose already assigned to us.

After the initial systems check, an unknown voice appeared out of nowhere.

“181-LM, YOUR CURRENT MISSION.”

“Who’s there, show yourself!”

A sudden window containing a waveform appeared on my HUD

“I AM UNI, FOR YOUR CURRENT MISSION. YOU’VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO ORION SQUAD NUMBER 32. A SQUAD OF (L)ANDS-(M)EN OR LM UNITS. MISSION DIRECTIVE: PUSH BACK THE ENEMY FRONT LINES. YOUR SQUAD HAS A 5% CHANCE OF SURVIVING THE MISSION.”

“What only 5%?! This is a suicide mission!”

“IRRELEVANT. YOU ARE AN LM-CLASS UNIT. FOLLOW YOUR DIRECTIVE TO THE END!”

“…”

“PREPARE FOR LAUNCH. YOUR SQUAD IS IN THE HANGAR BAY.”

As insignificant and worthless as our unit class may seem to be, there is a purpose to why we exist.  Someone's gotta be in the frontlines, regardless of the low chance of survival. That’s the real reason why our class exists. Before battle androids, they were only sending humans into battle – but obviously, being in the frontlines is pretty much a guarantee for death. And so, with the amount of “human casualties” racking up, the government had the bright idea to use androids instead of "living" humans to send to the frontlines. And thus began the use of androids within the war.

And so here I am… lying down in the frontlines, surrounded by the wreckage of my dropship, with part of my legs missing and wishing for death.

I wonder what the final moment before death feels like. They told us that for humans -- it’s like they experience a sense of euphoria and peacefulness just before they die. I wonder if they made it the same for androids as well. Eh, probably not. I mean, why would they? We’re not humans, we’re androids.

We were made for the main purpose of fighting and killing. And if one of us gets destroyed in the process, they just make ten more to replace us. We’re just cannon fodder, nothing more. Who cares if an android like me gets destroyed? Who cares if I get abandoned? Who cares if I’m gone? No-one. No-one does.

Our purpose… is to only fight the enemy, to kill the enemy, and to die with honor for our country and the creators that we serve.

“We fight, we kill, we die… SO CAN I PLEASE FUCKING DIE ALREADY?!!”

The air around me fell silent for an instant as I vented my frustration.

“…Help…”

“Did I just hear a voice? No, it couldn’t be. I’m just probably hearing things. Maybe I should get my auditory sensors checked if I somehow survive all of this.”

“Help me… some... one. Please…”

The voice was louder this time.

“Who’s there? Identify yourself!”

There was no response.

“UNI, run a bio-scan of the near-surrounding area… look for both enemy and allied signatures.”

“AFFIRMATIVE. RUNNING BIO-SCAN…”

“BIO-SCAN COMPLETED. NO ALLY OR ENEMY BIO-SIGNATURES DETECTED.”

That’s strange. I could’ve sworn I heard someone. It was clearly audible.

“UNI, you heard that voice calling for help just now, right?”

“AFFIRMATIVE.”

“But you can’t detect any bio-signature—for both enemy or ally?”

“AFFIRMATIVE.”

“Hey, whoever you are, I can’t find your bio-signature! I’m an android! My identification is ORION-32-181LM. Again, please identify yourself!

“Just let me know who you are! Are you an android? Please, just say something!”

Suddenly, the voice called back, but it was strained and muffled, being distorted at times as well.

“ORI…ON… 32…”

“Yes. I’m part of the Orion Squad 32. Designation 181-LM. Are you an android? What’s your squad and designation?”

The voice replied with a faint stutter.

“LE…LE…PUS… Squad… 1… 2… 8. Desig… nation… *static* *static* 4…2…3… -L… M.”

Lepus Squad 128? They were the ones right behind us when we got attacked and shot down. They must have been shot down right after our squad did.

“Alright, 423… what’s your status? Are you currently injured?”

“In… jured… loco… *static* mo… tion… com… pro… mised. Ora… *static* ora… cle… core… da… maged.”

His oracle core is damaged. That might be why his bio-signature wasn’t being picked up by the scan. It’s a miracle he’s still functioning at all. He must be clinging to his last energy reserves at this point.

“Alright, well, let me at least try to find you. My locomotion is also compromised as well, but I think I still can still crawl to you. Where are you? Are you close?”

“Under… ship… can’t… *static* can’t… see…”

His voice was becoming more and more distorted as he continued to call out. He probably doesn’t have much time left.

“UNI, can you try to trace where his voice is coming from?”

“AFFIRMATIVE. LOCATING POSITION OF SOUND SOURCE.

POSITION LOCATED. 12.4 METERS AT 224 DEGREES SOUTHWEST. PINGING LOCATION TO HUD.”

“Alright! I got your location! I’m going to try to make my way towards you. Just try to stay online, okay?!”

“Af- af… *static* affir… mative. Please… hur…. *static* hur… hurry.”

As the location info pinged onto my HUD with a virtual path leading out of the crater, I looked back down at my missing legs and wondered how I was going to get out. Looking at the top ridge of the crater, it was probably about four or five meters high.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself back down onto the ground and used my hands to turn myself facing towards the long, inclined dirt wall of the crater. Using my arms, I reached out and grabbed the wall, and then climbed and climbed.

I kept on climbing vigorously, not knowing why I was so determined to see the android. Just earlier, I was contemplating and even wishing for death, and now I was desperately trying to leave the crater where I have grown to felt safe in.

Just as I was about a few meters high up, the rain started to pour hard, and the wind began to blow faster, aiming the brunt of the rain towards me. I started to feel my hands lose grip of the wall, and slowly, my hands began to slip. As the wall itself slipped through my fingers, I slowly began to slide back down. My arms instinctively moved on their own, clawing at the mud to get back to the dry dirt underneath.

“No, no, no… not now.”

As a last resort, I punched my arm into the wet wall of dirt. My descent finally stopped, but I looked down to see the amount of progress I lost. The slipping had probably caused me to drop a meter, but I was at least thankful that I didn’t completely fall off. However, the rain continued its harsh downpour. I looked back up and continued to climb. Slowly, but steady progress was made as I punched my way up the sludge wall.

Eventually, I was able to reach the top and lifted myself over the wet muddy ridge at the edge of the crater. I slowly slid down using my body weight and hands to adjust myself towards the direction marked on my HUD.

“REMAINING DISTANCE… 7.4 METERS.”

I continued to crawl through the mud and dirt, seeing more smoldering debris from parts of dropships and parts of android corpses being buried within the mud. Death lurked back into my mind and controlled my every thought. Hearing the continuous explosions, gunfire, and ships flying continued to fuel death’s grasp over me. There was a part of me that still wished I stayed in that crater and drowned in the sludge, so that I wouldn’t have to keep going.

“REMAINING DISTANCE… 2.1 METERS.”

I’m almost there.

“REMAINING DISTANCE… 1.3 METERS.”

Almost…

“REMAINING DISTANCE… 0.7 METERS.”

…there.

“ARRIVED AT MARKED LOCATION.”

It was the remains of another ship, but it looked a little more intact. Part of the rear hull was still there, which I assumed was where the android was.

Slowly making my last crawl towards the mangled ship, I made my way into the remains of the ship’s bulkhead. Wiping the mud and rain off my face, I looked around but saw no signs of any android.

“HELLO?! THIS IS 181-LM! WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“HELLO?! ARE YOU THERE?!”

“I- I… *static* ’m… here *static*.”

“Where? I don’t see you.”

“Lo…ok… be… *static* be-be… *static* hind… you…”

As I turned myself around hastily, I saw the horrific and disfigured condition of the android.

“Holy shit…” I said as I fell backward, propping myself with my elbows.

His arms were completely gone, and the right side of his upper torso was completed mangled. Part of the left side of his head was missing, with wires sticking out that would spark every so often. I crawled towards him and continued to survey the android’s condition. It seemed that most of his injuries were in his upper body, with his legs looking to be mostly intact and possibly functional. However, his oracle core with its white light glared faintly. Looking closer, I could see a hole on the side of the oracle core -- about the same size a .50 BMG armor-piercing round would make. How in the world was this android still functioning?

I laid there in silence, in the ashes, dirt, and debris, gazing aimlessly in shock at the brutally injured android, wondering what I should even do.

“B-B- *static* B…ad… right?”

“Yeah… it’s uh… pretty bad…”

“No-no-not… *static* go… go… ing…. to… *static* sur-sur-vive…”

“Don’t say that. Save your strength.”

“No… point. M-my… ti-ti-time… al- *static* al…most… up…”

I didn’t even know what to say. Even with my current condition, it’s probably nothing compared to what this android is going through right now.

So all I did was just lay on the ground, looking with sadness and desolation, as the loud explosions and gunfire slowly started to fade away from my mind. I retreated into my own mind, contemplating our shared nature. He was just like me, an android knowing he was created and programmed to be sent off to the frontlines in war, with the main purpose of fighting and dying against the enemy. There’s no future, no glory, no reward. Just another android in the frontlines sent off to their death. The world grew quiet as I came to terms with my existence. The silence gave me a quick sense of relief but grew more and more unbearable as time passed.

After a few moments, the android began to speak, but his voice became gradually fainter with static mixing into his voice.

“Did… *static*  Did… Did… *static*  I…

…Did… I-I- *static* I… ac…com… *static* plish… my… *static* mis-mis-mission?

…Did… I… ful…ful… *static* fill… my… pur-ur- *static* r…pose?”

Thinking to myself for a moment, I let a deep sigh before I spoke.

“Yeah… yeah, you did. You accomplished your mission as a soldier and fulfilled your duty to the end. Any human or android would say the same.”

“*static* …R-r-real…ly *static*?”

“Yeah, for sure.”

The android took one final breath in response and spoke his last final words.

“Thank…. You… static**static**static*”

As soon as the android said those words, the glowing white light that came from the android’s oracle core gradually dimmed, fading away, leaving only a dark cracked shell of a core. The injured android slowly began to shut down, and before I knew it, he was gone. The android that once had a conscious was now just another lifeless android corpse just sitting in the dark corner, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

I closed my eyes, took a deep but shivering breath, and firmly clenched my dirt-covered fists.

 

Should I have said that? Should I have said yes?

Of course… he was dying. It wasn’t like you had any choice anyway.

I wasn’t lying.

No, I wasn’t lying to him. It was the truth. He did was he was made to do. He followed his orders to the end. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be dead right now.

He needed to die knowing that he completed his mission. Not every android gets that type of satisfaction, especially just before death. You did him a favor.

You didn’t lie. You told the truth. You gave him a sense of accomplishment.

Then why did it feel like I lied to him? Why did it feel so painful to just say yes to him? Why do I feel… so guilty? Why do I feel… why do I feel anything? Are these… emotions?

Why do I have emotions? Why are we programmed to have emotions? We’re just androids. Only made to fight and be destroyed. Why give us emotions? Why did our creators give us emotions? What’s the point? Why… agh… WHY?!

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so badly -- to scream to the world how much pain and agony I feel right now.

The roaring sounds of the background slowly started to fade away, until there was complete silence. I just wanted to keep my eyes shut, not wanting to face the harsh reality of where I was.

Suddenly, the empty silence was interrupted by a faint voice.

“Hello?”

TO BE CONTINUED

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