It was mid afternoon when we had been spotted.

The General looked around and told the Lieutenant to tell everyone to be quiet…Again…

When we all quietened down, the General slowly got off the horse and I went to follow him, but he looked up at me, “You must stay here.”

I stared at him in confusion…

Why?

“Please.”

I just nodded, seeing his face and having heard his plea. His command was my job after all, so…All I could do was stay there.

Dilan and Neil ran up to us and the General nodded at them, “Good, you protect him.”

“Yes sir!”

Uh?

Protect?

Why?

I looked around, but found nothing…What was there to protect me from?

We were at the forest edge, just a bit closer to the eastern passage, but I didn’t see any of the enemy close by.

I knew that the General first had to make sure that we were safe, so we could make it to the eastern passage. If we had enough time, we could even put up a blockade, or something like that, so that we had more advantage for victory in a battle.

I hadn’t really put too much thought into this, but I felt the seriousness of the situation.

We were in places now that held people that will kill others, we had to be careful…

The General walked away, and I already wanted to go and follow him, but Neil and Dilan stopped me quietly.

 

I saw most of the men go across the edge of the forest, slowly creeping forward, only to suddenly see about fifty other men come from the tree edge ahead and twenty come, running from the distance.

We weren’t outnumbered, but I knew…I knew we hadn’t the experience. We were still new recruits, still people that had not done much in any kind of combat!

I wanted to get off the horse, but was stopped once again…

I glared at both Neil and Dilan, before looking back up to find that the General and the rest of our men had gone into combat.

It was scary!

They were real swords…They were real people!

They weren’t wooden or dummies!

If someone is stabbed, they could die!

If…The Lieutenant was stabbed…The General!

I didn’t want them to die! Why was I here and not with them! Couldn’t I offer some assistance instead of sitting here doing nothing!?

Watching two of our men get taken down, I swallowed in fear. How could I possibly watch this!?

“Get em!”

Turning around to the voice, I suddenly felt a worse feeling…We were surrounded!

 

Neil and Dilan moved straight away, whether it was to protect me or not, I didn’t care, I got off the horse immediately!

Turning to face the five people that had come from behind us, as they were running towards us, I saw Neil and Dilan run towards them as well!

I didn’t want them to die!

I ran like hell to go up and help them!

I heard Neil’s yell of telling me to keep back, but how could I!?

Jumping forward, I kicked someone off Neil and then stepped back and saw that I had that person’s attention.

“No!”

Neil lost his concentration and I ran forward to help prevent him from getting hurt!

I thrust my dagger out, only to hit air, but since I remembered a few techniques, I rolled and then got back up straight away…Seeing two now looking at me…

One charged ahead, while I saw the other in the corner of my eye slowly moving around me. I dodged as the one in front of me sliced his sword towards me and rolled again, to once again have both of them within my sight.

It was clear…One was trying to get behind me!

‘Never take your eyes away from your enemy!’

 

Seeing one go for me again with his sword, I turned my dagger around and blocked it, while I kicked him in the groin. I then kicked him again and he fell to the floor, while I quickly turned to the other.

Turning my dagger back around in my hand, I watched his actions…

I learnt back in the training grounds that they can only teach different types of techniques, but everything depends on what is going on with the type of fight. I had to adapt!

What is his next move, what is my surroundings…What weakness does he have!?

This was one on one, he was holding daggers himself…So, if he was someone that I thought he would be, it would mean he was quick on his feet and would probably dodge a lot. He could attack with one hand but may not attack with the other…I have to watch out!

Keeping my eyes opened, I saw Neil fighting one and Dilan fighting two still…In fact, Dilan was hurt!

Wanting to help Dilan, I focused and watched as the man with daggers in front of me smirked.

Seeing him run forward and swipe his dagger, I dodged, and he thrusted his other dagger forward towards me.

Falling down upon the ground, I swiped my legs and made him trip over, then I rolled over and hoped on top of him.

I had my dagger ready to pierce his chest, I had the time, the movement, the…Well I could do it…

But I couldn’t…

This person…

But, I was too late…I felt a pain in my side and I heard a chuckle.

I looked at the man and narrowed my eyes…

Is it really like that? Kill or be killed?

Finally, I moved my hand down in haste, pushing my dagger right into his throat! I hadn’t meant to do that, but it looked like I had been moved from aiming at his chest…

Jumping off him and dropping my other dagger, I watched him…I watched him drop his other dagger and put his hands to his throat. He obviously had trouble breathing and started convulsing, blood was running down to the ground…

Feeling the ground, I guess I had fallen on my behind without even noticing. I was still watching this guy as he pulled out the dagger I put there into his throat, making me see more and more blood and continued noises of him trying to breath…

Letting out a sob, I wanted to close my eyes to my own shamefulness.

But…I didn’t close them, until he took his last breath…It was a horrible sight!

…I had killed a man…

 

Putting hands in front of my eyes, I felt like the world was moving!

It was going from side to side, making me dizzy!

Is this…Retribution?

If it was…

I felt the ground on my head now…

If it was retribution…Did Lady Billings feel it?

Did she overcome this when she killed my mother?

What I found weird though, was…Pain…

The pain in my waist began again and I suddenly remembered that I got stabbed…

People who get stabbed, die…

…Isn’t that…How it goes?

 

 

“Stop it!”

“General, calm yourself, there’s no reason to get mad at him!”

“Mad!?”

“Yes, Sir!”

I opened my eyes slowly, to see the General right in front of me. He looked really worried…Or was it that he was scared?

An urgent need to make him feel better went through me…

“Lorrie!”

Blinking a few times, I also see Neil and Dilan…

I smiled, really happy that they were ok…

“Don’t you dare smile!”

Looking back at the General, I lost my smile…

I saw him take a deep breath, and then finally say, “…How are you feeling?”

I think about it for a moment and found the pain in my side…I guess…

Widening my eyes, I remembered…

I killed someone!

I couldn’t help it, but my breathing got harder and harder as I repeatedly saw myself stab someone in the throat!

“Lorrie!”

“Puppy! Don’t!”

I then grabbed onto something, really hard, and started to cry.

I killed somebody!

I felt strength hold onto my hand as well, but I continued to cry.

Before I knew it, I was completely into someone’s embrace, as they cuddled me.

It didn’t matter who it was at the moment, I cried in their arms, thinking of the person’s life that I had ended…

 

 

‘This is what she deserves!’

No!

Mother!

Please stop hurting her! Please!

Wanting to reach out, to attempt to stop them from hurting my mother, I cried out.

As I reached out though, I saw myself put a dagger into someone’s throat…

Breathing heavily, everything suddenly disappeared!

I took up big breaths and blinked, seeing darkness.

“Puppy.”

I turn to see the General lying beside me, his hand now fixing up my hair stuck to my face.

My mouth trembled, my eyes were watery, but dammit to hell, I tried not to cry!

It wasn’t the first time I saw my mother dying but it was the first time I had a nightmare of killing someone…Nor do I think it will be the last…

“Shhh…”

Clutching tightly upon his hand, I put it up to my eyes and pretended that nothing was wrong with me…That maybe I was just hiding.

Just don’t think about it…

Don’t think about it!

“Shhh, don’t worry.”

I felt something against my head, but I didn’t move his arm from my eyes. I wasn’t ready…

I wasn’t ready for the world…

 

***

 

Opening my eyes, I found myself on a horse, in someone’s arms.

Looking up…Of course…It was the General.

He looked down on me, just moments after I saw him, “Puppy.”

I didn’t move, nor did want to.

I felt ok exactly where I was!

“Forgive me.”

Uh?

Why?

Now that I was more aware, I saw his pained face and suddenly wondered if he was hurt…

“I’m sorry that I didn’t take you to another doctor.”

Uh?

I was completely confused…

“It was only Neil, Dilan and myself that wanted to change this whole mission just to get you to a doctor. The best medication we could get you was from the forest, but there’s no pain killer. Dilan had to fix his wounds the same way…Forgive me…”

Letting out a breath, I got a hand out of the blanket around me and put it up to his face.

Will this let him know that I was ok?

I hardly felt anything at the moment! I don’t need any pain killer…Besides, I felt fine, don’t be upset.

Caressing his cheek, he looked down at me and sighed.

Smiling up at him, I put my hand back down, but he put it into his hand instead. “No more fighting, I will put you somewhere safe before we ambush the enemy.”

 

Finally looking around me, I see the Lieutenant looking at me with wide eyes…To which I glared at!

“Oh, little Puppy, no need to look at me like that! I’m not the enemy!”

I huffed out a breath and looked away from him…I’ll deal with him later!

“Lorrie? Is…He awake?”

I turned towards the sound of the voice but was unable to see anything.

“Mmm, he’s awake.”

“…Oh…That’s good.”

Neil?

What’s wrong?

Letting out a big yawn I moved my head into a more comfortable area.

I felt something outside of the blanket around me tighten, and I looked around again.

Where were we?

Weren’t we under attack?

Why are we walking in a direction? What direction were we walking into!?

“Stop it, Puppy! Don’t worry about anything, just get better!”

But…I’m so curious!

Attempting to move up a bit, so I could see more, I heard a sigh…And felt the pain…

Oh…That really hurts…

“We camped the night in the forest, now that it is daytime we are getting out, closer to the edge. We are trying to be extremely quiet, so not a little peep from Puppy, okay?”

I nodded my head very seriously!

Not a peep!

…Wait…

I don’t talk anyway!

I looked back at the General to see him smile at me…

Crazy man, why would he say something like that!?

 

I really thought that perhaps we were getting lost!

But, much to the General’s dislike, I had woken up not long after we had set out!

So, we hadn’t been travelling long at all!

After the edge of the forest had been scouted from our lookouts, we took up a makeshift base, closer to the eastern gate, and the General gave out orders straight away. Since we still had soldiers ready to fight, others that weren’t, were told to get some sleep while they could.

Sadly, some had been up for a long time now, having been attacked in the middle of the night and then having to keep watch over those that did sleep…Now it was those who had gotten sleep to take over.

The General got off the horse, with me still in his arms, but I was able to see more now…There was Neil!

The sun was coming up, slowly making the land have more light and I found it quite weird how something so pretty could be amongst something that…Wasn’t so pretty.

Sun rises did not make sense with war at all!

“Sir, the morning scout is due to report soon, shall I send a man over?”

For all the times I’d seen the Lieutenant, this was the first time that he looked so serious!

The General nodded, “Do that, I want to know what’s going on. If General Whatts did as we think he did, he should arrive around tomorrow.”

I looked at the General and was at awe with his interesting talent.

I felt like clapping…

 

Reaching into my clothes, as I wanted to give a candy to him…

But they were gone…

Oh no!

I looked up at the General alarmingly.

“What’s wrong?”

I put a finger to my opened mouth, to describe the candy.

“Oh.”

…Oh?

I frowned…What’s that mean?

Suddenly, something went into my mouth and I sucked on it.

Oh…It was so…Yummy!

A chuckle completely went missed, as I closed my eyes to the yummy taste in my mouth.

Moving the thing around, I just felt like it was even tastier, and I wondered what it was!

It tasted like…Honey!

Actually, my throat had been dry, but now it was feeling a little better!

So…Good!

“Have you not even tried your own candy?”

Opening my eyes, I looked at the General in shock…

This was my candy?

Uh?

Does that mean…Why does he have it!?

 

I saw him let out a small laugh as I glared at him.

“I’ll give them back later.”

Feeling the sweetness in my mouth again, I slowly lost my glare and closed my eyes again.

“I think that he didn’t even know that they were for him…”

“Why would he think that?”

“…I don’t know…”

Opening my eyes…I frowned to the words…

Uh?

Where the candies for me?

They weren’t for the bullies?

My father…Got them for me?

Really!?

My father came into my mind then and my facial features relaxed.

I will have to say thank you!

I mean…Write…I’ll write thank you!

Ah, so yummy!

 

***

 

Time slowly drifted by, as I continued to be in a cocoon, even if I wasn’t in the General’s arms.

The blanket wasn’t small, and it was nice and warm.

My side did hurt, but for some reason I felt pretty good. It hurt only a little bit and I was sure I could even stand up if they let me!

When the General knew I needed to do some personal business, he didn’t let me go, but I become obstinate and demanded Neil! Pointing viciously and shaking my head nonstop, I was not taking no as an answer!

So…The General conceded and had to let Neil take me to a secluded area for me to do my business.

When we were finally alone, Neil started to talk to me, “Are you sure you’re ok? I had to stop them from taking your whole top off! It was so scary! I thought they were going to find out!”

I was about to squat, letting out a deep breath, but as I did…Ah…That hurt…

I also needed to thank Neil!

He was obviously a few metres away, but he could hear me stepping closer, to indicate that I was finished.

He turned to me then, “Lorrie, you must take extra care. The General seems to look at you in a strange way and I’m worried he’ll find out.”

Stopping in front of him, I wondered how the General looks at me.

I remember seeing worry and impatience, bossiness and care, but how could that become a problem?

“I’m just worried…That’s all…”

I nodded and smiled.

I took his hand in mine, to show him that I really did value his friendship.

He smiled back, picked me up, and we left to go back to the others…

 

Upon my return, the General took me off Neil, having got up from where he had been sitting.

He sat back down, and I saw quite a number of people eyeing us.

What?

“The gates are made from stone, we’ll use them as to help secure our backs. Cut down some trees and use those to help secure our fronts and split into two groups.”

The General stated this, but I wasn’t too sure if the people had heard him.

“General? Trees?”

The General looked into the far distance and nodded, “Cut them into spears and leave them on the ground near the gate. One group can easily hide in the forest, the next group…”

Looking down towards the lands of Icklish, the General pointed to a farm house, “The second group to hide in there and come up from the side.”

People looked around and were silent. It looked like not only were we an ambush, but we were doing an ambush in an ambush…

“Yes Sir! Come on lads, time to cut down some trees!”

“Cut down those ones!” The General pointed at a set of trees that were to one side of the gates, the side that went into the lands of Icklish and not into the forest.

“Yes Sir!”

Most of the men went out to accomplish quite the amount of work to do within the short period of time that they had. The rest of the men here were scouts, injured men and a few others that needed to sleep. Then there was the General and I, as well as Neil and Dilan.

“Neil.”

“General?”

I looked up at the General, seeing him look away from me, “Your top priority is to keep him safe!”

“Understood, Sir!”

“Dilan, rest and help if it is required.”

“Yes, Sir!”

 

I looked back up at the General again and he removed some of the blanket around me, showing my wound.

I see that it wasn’t as good as I originally thought, as it was still wet, like it was still bleeding.

Hearing a sound, I looked back up at him at the top of my eyes.

I was letting him down…

“Puppy, I’ll redress your wound, alright?”

I bit my lip and put my hands to cover my wound, shaking my head. I’ll do it!

“I’ll be gentle.”

I put out my hand for whatever it was that I needed to do, showing him that I’ll do it myself.

Hearing him sigh, he gave me some green…Yuck…

Making a face to it, I felt the softness to my fingers and saw that it wasn’t runny, but sticky.

I then heard a chuckle, “I’ll do it.”

Putting the hand up, I shook my head once again.

Quickly, I took off the small amount of bandage over my wound, seeing it having blood, and threw it. Seeing the green stuff in the wound, I wondered how to remove the old green, sticky substance, to put in what I had in my hand onto my wound.

“It would be so much easier if we could bandage your waist! Here!”

Before I could do anything, the General put the green, sticky substance and placed it onto my wound and ordered for the bandages to be ready…All this time I was still on his lap…

Neil stated ‘again’, that his ‘Mister’ is not to be undressed and that the bandages are to be placed as they had been earlier.

I heard the General hiss and then I felt pain.

“Endure, Puppy.”

I looked down to see and feel that he was pushing quite hard upon the wound. “It’s to stop the bleeding!”

Seeing the General quite unhappy, I started to wonder if I had killed that man straight away, would I even be wounded right now?

Is that what war is? No questions upon the person who is your enemy?

They are the enemy, so if you are in the right place to kill…You just kill?

Because, if you don’t…They kill you?

It looked like that not only did I have to strengthen up physically, but mentally as well. I had to be strong enough not to think too much and take the kill, before I get killed first!