An incredibly annoying sound loop grabs me from sleep and pulls me to wakefulness Wednesday morning. I’m soooo glad Jen showed me how to set up my new phone to work as an alarm to get up. Now I just have to figure out how to turn it the hell off. I fumble around on the bedside table for where I left the phone plugged in last night before bed. Aha. Found it. I grab it and sit up.

Everything feels… off. Even sitting up in bed is messing with my sense of balance slightly. Am I getting sick? I knew it. Something at the House of Beard yesterday wasn’t right. No… My stomach feels fine. I place a hand over it. No weird gurgling or anything like that. Alright, whatever. I definitely need to pee though, so, taking care of that first thing. Then I need to get dressed because I have school today. Yaaaaay.

A couple of steps across my bedroom that weirdness strikes again. Okay, what the heck is going on? Is this regen related? I pull up my watch and swipe, then swipe again to bring up the tracker.

‘Particle Saturation - 71%’ 

What!? How did it get over… I mean it was only… wait when was the last time I checked it?! Did I remember to check it at all yesterday during the girls day out? Crap. I don’t think I did. I was too busy having fu— Oh crap. I was enjoying yesterday. Like legitimately enjoying it. Oh crap, oh, crap. What changed? I need to find out what changed. I hurry over to the mirror beside my closet, and it’s readily apparent. Even beneath the oversized t-shirt and the fuzzy pyjama pants, I can tell that all of my body’s hard lines have become… softer. Curvier. I lift up the hem of the shirt a bit, and sure enough, my waist definitely dips in now, and flares out at my new hips. Oh god they look so huge. I turn a bit to the side. Yep… My butt is bigger too. Oh great. Lovely. Exactly what I needed today. Starting school and now I have to deal with this crap too. Oh crap. I look down from my reflection and at my physical self, holding my shirt still rolled up to my ribs. I swallow the lump in my throat and decide to rip the bandaid off, so to speak. I pull my shirt up quickly.

Jen bursts into my room, wild-eyed, hair a mess, holding a baseball bat. “What is it Ka—” She stops talking. Her jaw hanging slightly agape. I stare back at her, still holding my shirt up. I guess I screamed or something to bring her running to check up on me like that.

“J-Jen, I… I…” I can’t seem to get my brain and mouth to work together to make words. I have… but I can’t… I mean… those are… only girls should have… but I’m…”

Jen carefully approaches and helps to lower my shirt. I don’t really try to stop her. She pulls me into another of her signature hugs, but it feels different now. Her chest is pressed against mine, and it’s firing off about a dozen different sensations my poor brain is just not ready to interpret properly. This overload seems to trigger my new default reaction to a lot of things, and before I know it I’m crying into Jen’s shoulder again as she rubs my back and whispers soothingly. 

Why does being comforted by her feel so good? So normal? Would my mom have comforted me like this if she stuck around?

“I thought we said no hugging, right?”

No. Not you. I don’t want to think about you right now. I tighten my hug on Jen and she lets out a little gasp. “Hon… Oxygen…” she forces a chuckle. I relax my grip.

“Sorry.”

She brings me out to arms’ length, looking me over. “Well, your old stuff certainly isn’t going to fit comfortably now… I can loan you some of mine that might fit… a little better, at least, and we can go shopping for some essentials tonight. Nothing expensive, ‘cause we’re not sure if you’re done growing or not.”

Just the notion of these things getting any bigger than they are is already bad enough. Jen pats my shoulders before letting me go to return to her room. I hear her rummaging in her drawers. After what feels like forever, she finally comes back with a white bra and panties. The discomfort on my face must be obvious.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. You look great!” She gives me a reassuring smile, but I don’t feel very reassured.

“But… everything is so… there.” I don’t have words for it. But my body feels so different now that I’m aware of it. “It bulges out everywhere. I must look like some kind of blob monster.”

Jen laughs suddenly - like it slipped out and caught even her by surprise. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just that you’ve only been a girl for less than a week and you already have body image issues. Yeah, you’ll fit right in, hon.” She pats my shoulder again. “Let’s get you dressed for the time being, and like I said we’ll get you better fitting stuff after I get off work tonight. We can even look at getting you some binders if you want to hide your chest.”

“Thanks, Jen…” I mumble.

She nods, and after I undress, helps me get my new underclothes and such on. The bra feels weird. It’s definitely too tight. The underwear too. 

“Damn, girl…” Jen mutters as she’s trying to adjust things. 

“Is it bad?” It feels bad. It’s probably bad. I’m probably a gross mess.

“No, just… you’re bigger than me. Jeez.” She sighs and playfully swats my butt. The strange jiggling sensation elicits another yelp.

“You don’t think they’re going to look at me like a freak?” I ask, rubbing my stinging backside. 

“Nah… You look just like any other girl your age. Even more so than yesterday.” Jen smiles, and I want to believe her.

Part of me even feels thrilled at that idea. Can I pass as a girl? Do I want to?... That’s a thought that needs exploring… but not right now.

“Alright, girl… get dressed, meet me in the living room when you’re ready and I’ll give you a once-over to make sure you’re ‘presentable’ for your first day.”

I nod, and she leaves me to it. I put the uniform on like Jen showed me before - the way it all fits and sits on me now is much better. Nothing is as baggy as it was before, and the skirt seems to sit naturally at my waist instead of feeling like it’s way too high up my body. The only thing I don’t like is how the blazer hugs my chest. It really draws attention to it. My tie looks awkward disappearing down into the blazer, too. Disappearing over the swell of my… my… breasts… I feel my face go flush at the thought. 

I try to shake the weirdness of it all out of my head, and hurry out to the living room, snagging my backpack along the way. I almost forget my phone and have to come back for it. 

I really hope I look okay in this uniform. I hope nobody can tell I’m really just some crossdressing boy. I just want them to assume I’m a girl and leave me alone. No, wait, I don’t want them to think I’m a girl. Do I? ...Shit, I do. What does that mean? Am I weird?

Jen smiles when she sees me. “Wow, hon… You look great!” She hurries over to me and gives me another hug. Oof. That squishing sensation. Will I get used to that or is that just going to be weird forever? I mean… for the rest of the week. 

“Thanks,” I say, and realize I mean it. Am I really happy that I look good in this? I guess I am… Crap. Okay, no, no thinking like that. We’re already at 71% with 4 days (including today) to go. I really need to put a lid on this ‘being a girl’ thing if I ever want to be me again. I mean, my body is pretty much entirely female at this point. That doesn’t mean I can’t go back, right? I mean it’s not 100% yet, so I must be OK still. Definitely OK.

“Got your phone? Your class schedule? Your wallet?” Jen runs over a checklist and I nod to each one. All in my bag, along with the other school supplies we picked up on our shopping trip. 

“Alright. Last thing for you then.” She steps over to the kitchen counter for a moment and picks something up, then hands it to me. It’s a key.

“Huh?”

“Well you can’t exactly get into the condo without a key, can you?” she laughs. “Put it in your purse and keep it safe, okay?”

I nod, staring at the key. A key to her house. She gave me a key to her house. Why would she do that? I can feel my heart clench, my tears welling up. 

“Hey, none of that now, hon…” She smiles as if reading my emotions yet again, and hugs me tightly. “You don’t want to show up at school for your first day looking all red and puffy from crying, do you?” 

I shake my head.

“Good. Let’s get going then. We don’t want to be late on your first day!”

I smile, sniffing back my other emotions for the moment. “Yeah... let’s get going.”

The car ride to school feels like an eternity, and I can’t imagine doing it by bus. I’ve only rarely ridden the city busses, and I haven’t ridden a school bus since I was a kid. I’m 16 now. Definitely not a kid anymore.

We’re just pulling up out front and I can see the swarm of other people in uniforms just like mine. Except the boys, they get to wear pants. Lucky jerks. I’m just reaching for the car door latch when Jen puts a hand on my other arm to get my attention.

“Remember we’re going shopping tonight after I’m done at work. Think you can handle meeting me at the café again, or do you want me to pick you up at home?”

Do I really want to risk the café again? I look even more like a girl now. I’m definitely going to get called a girl. I take a minute to roll that idea around in my head. Ah… yeah, I mean… I guess that is what matches me right now. I do look like a girl, and honestly since I’m thinking about it, I guess I don’t even really mind if they call me a girl. I don’t really feel like I’m a girl, but it does feel good when people treat me like one. Whatever the device is doing to my brain it must be really potent, and while I want to be mad at it for that, I can’t bring myself to be. It’s not the worst thing that could happen. Plenty of people live lives just fine as girls… I could probably manage it.

Jen taps my arm and I realize I haven’t responded yet. Crap. “Oh, uh, I’ll… uh, I’ll meet you at the café,” I nod, more to convince myself than her.

“Okay, hon… Have a good first day. Call me if there’s any problems, or call Agent Dobbs if you can’t reach me. I know he’s creepy but he’s legally obligated to take care of your needs, too.” She smiles, and I shudder at the thought of doing anything to summon that creepy ashen paper pusher.

“Okay. Will do.” I pop the handle on the door and climb out. Okay. Day one of High School. Here we go.

==========

I step through the doors and am met with a security checkpoint. The security guards stop me, open my backpack, scan everything, and make me walk through a metal detector before they let me enter, after showing my student ID. Now, I’m familiar with the pressing crush of city streets at commuter rush hour. I’ve walked through parade crowds that threaten to suffocate you. A public high school hallway is like some sadistic combination of those two. I was practically swept away the moment I stepped into the flow.

The first place I need to go is something called Home Room, which according to my schedule is in room 208. Jen told me that likely means it’s on the second floor. So I manage to shamble my way along at the strangely fast-but-slow pace that this crowd moves at until it splits off and I find a staircase. I’m working my way up the stairs when I get that sensation. You know the feeling when someone is staring at you? Yeah. I’m getting that. I glance around and I see why. Through the thinned crowd coming up the stairs, a guy is staring at me. Or more accurately, at my butt. Up my skirt. I feel my face go red, and I clamp the back of the skirt down with my hand, and hurry the rest of the way up the stairs. Great. First day at school and I’m already flashing guys. Way to go, Kat.

By the time I get to 208, the room is already mostly filled. A couple kids look up at me, but most seem too absorbed in their phones or conversations with friends. A stocky older man with sparse gray hair approaches me. My teacher? I think the schedule called him Mister Keller. He smiles as he approaches, but maintains a reasonable conversation distance. 

“You must be Miss Carson,” he says, looking down at his notebook briefly.

I nod. Yep. That’s me. Ms. Carson. A regular high school girl. Not a weird boy wondering what the heck is wrong with him. Please don’t notice the real me.

“Well, welcome to Harrison High, Ms. Carson! Since this is your homeroom, your locker will be in the block outside of this room.” He pulls out a slip of paper and hands it to me. “That’s your locker number and combination. Try to memorize it, alright?”

I nod again, and slip the paper into my blazer pocket. I’ll put it in my bag later.

“Alright, why don’t you take a seat over there. That empty desk between Ms. King and Mr. Davis.”

I nod for a third time and move to the seat he indicated. Okay, I can do this. Just walk over and sit down. I am a normal high school girl. Totally normal. I’m just about to take my seat when Mr. Keller clears his throat, and projects in his creaky-but-strong tone, “Ladies and gentlemen, settle down just a moment. We have a new face joining us today. Please welcome Ms. Katarina Carson.”

There’s a brief mumbling of ‘welcome’ or ‘hey’ from other students. Okay. That was embarrassing, but not too bad.

“Miss Carson is a new transfer, and comes to us courtesy of the BGS Regen Placement Program!” He claps his hands excitedly. 

Now everyone is definitely looking at me.

Oh god. Oh god. Why did he say that? Now they know I’m not normal. They know I’m not a girl. They all think I’m weird. Why can’t I just shrink into myself and disappear?! I want to run. I really want to run. Would they try to stop me? I sink into my chair and try to fall through the floor. It doesn’t work. The chair keeps me trapped in my prison of awkwardness as Mr. Keller begins taking roll call. He skips my name because we all clearly know I’m here. Thanks again. 

When he finishes and goes back to his desk, turning on the TV to air the school’s morning announcements, the girl beside me leans over and taps my arm.

“Hey. Are you really a regen?”

I nod, slowly. “Y-yeah…” 

“Cool,” she smiles. “Welcome to the club.”

“Oh, uh… thanks.” I try to smile back. I hope it looks natural.

“Hey, new girl.” Now the guy on the other side of me was talking to me.

“Uh. Hi…” Oh wow, he has super blue eyes. Like those Husky dogs. Am I staring? I feel like I’m staring.

“Pretty eyes…” he says. Oh crap did I say something about his eyes out loud?! No wait, it was him. Right, I don’t sound like a boy anymore. “Are those contacts?”

“Huh?”

“Your eyes. They’re like cat eyes. Are those contacts?”

I feel my face heating up. “Uh, no.. um… they’re just my eyes, I guess.”

“Oh. Is that a genetic thing or…?” 

“Quit creeping on the new girl, Ben,” the girl to my left says, looking around me.

“I’m not creeping! I was just complimenting her eyes!” he shoots back.

“Oh please, I bet she’s just too nice to tell you you're bothering her.” She smirks at me like she has my back, but I’m content to just let this conversation fade away as I sink into my chair a bit more.

A few more minutes pass before the girl reaches over and taps my arm. She leans in closer and whispers “Hey, Katarina, Careful… your skirt...” and leans back. I don’t get what she means. My skirt seems fine? I look over at her, confused, and she pointedly taps her leg. Okay, what am I not understanding here? I look between the two of us. The only difference is that she’s sitting with her knees together. Is that so people can’t see up— OH. Oh. I quickly pull my knees together, feeling my face burn. She laughs quietly beside me.

Blushing furiously, I glance over at her. “Th-thanks… um, you can call me Kat.”

“Cool,” she smiles, “My name’s--”

Bing-bong, Bing-bong

A series of beeps echoes from the speaker next to the clock above the door, and I jump slightly. Everyone immediately scrabbles to their feet and gets their bags and such ready before moving out of the classroom. Oh. Okay. I guess that sound means we move on to the next class? My first stop is… uhhh… Remedial Math in 114. Right. Okay.

Here we go. My first class in 5 years.

Great.

PunchlinePress

Here we go folks! Our fair Kat has landed in high school, an institution known to be completely open and welcome to everyone, and not at all harsh or judgmental of anyone for their differences. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not plotting anything. How do you think her first day will go, now that her being a regen instead of just a new student is out in the open? Let me know in the comments!