Everyone has felt hopeless at some point in their life. It's just something that happens to all of us. Whether this time occurs in your youth or when your body is old and withered, we all feel the same thing. We all ask the same things. Why is this happening to me? Was I just born to suffer? How long will I have to deal with this emptiness? I wonder if anybody cares? Some people take their lives, some people find light in the darkness, and some people lose their humanity.
Ah, but what exactly makes a human "human." Is it their ability to feel? Nope. After all, humans aren't the only ones capable of getting angry or sad. Is it their bonds? Nope. Making friends and forming families is a part of nature. As to how those relationships are created and maintained, well, it depends. Is it their ability to adapt? Nope. Everything can adapt to their new environment. The difference in how humans adapt compared to wild beasts is that humans can be quite destructive.
So what is it?
Well, it's a little of everything. A person loses its humanity when it becomes empty. When they lose their emotions and desires. When they no longer need to form bonds and easily adapt to any environment. Living without caring for their own lives or the lives of others. These things are comfortable with their state of existence. They care for nothing and they are nothing.
Richard Moores is one of these creatures. When he was born on October 1rst, 1998 he didn't cry. When exposed to other children he did nothing, not moving or reacting, even when these children would try to grab his attention. He only did as told.
When in school he was told to make friends but he couldn't. When he was told to learn, he'd learn. When he was told to be normal, he'd copy others. After years of abuse and repeated orders, he learned to be "normal." From kindergarten to high school he continued to live as he was told. After all, why not? It's not like it matters what I do. At least when I'm told what to do I have a reason to do something.
Richard, is just another empty shell. No ambitions, no wants or fears, and living without a care. He wears the skin of a human but under that well made mask is "nothing." A monster.
On his birthday in the year 2018 he became something more. Shortly after his late night shift in the Childer Paper-mill, a somewhat reputable company across England despite it's origins beginning in a small town called Dartford, he decided to go for a late night walk.
Staring at the light gray moon surrounded by a veil of purple filled with blinking lights and somewhat masked by puffy white clouds flowing across the sky, pushed by the nights gentle winds he wondered around the now large Dartford. He'd sometimes choose to walk under the black iron lamp post and sometimes he'd choose to walk in the middle of the empty cobblestone road.
As he wandered he began to notice a change. He doesn't know what it is yet he roughly understands it. He wants to go somewhere. Walking at the same speed his dull blue eyes fill with a curious shine. Despite his emptiness one thing he has always done was wonder.
He doesn't care to know why he's suddenly feeling something after years of nothing. All he knows is that just as his youth he must figure out the situation. Though, this time it's not to simply fit in. As he follows his instincts the cool wind ruffles his curly brown hair and somewhat loose denim overalls. The soles of his brown work boots scuff harder and harder against the ground as he begins to run. Within five minutes his white undershirt has grown a shade darker. As he runs the odd feeling grows stronger. Suddenly he find himself in a small train station in the middle of a lively field.
Immediately he stops and examines his surroundings. Things are rather strange so I should be more careful, he thinks to himself. The floor is a light-brown, red bricks lining the edges of the open station without a single wall. On his right are a collection of six seats. Each one is made of wood, the handles covered in floral carvings.
On his left is a small booth a head taller than him. Seeing this he moves towards it, first looking behind him to make sure that there is no way to get back home. As he begins to walk towards the booth he hears a giggle. "Hehe. I have to say you are quite the empty shell."
Suddenly a young girl that looks to be six years old appears in front of him. Wearing a blue ankle length dress with purple floral prints around the neck and ruffled rims she smiles, her high pitched and crisp voice filling his ears. She steps forward the bells on the ends of her black shoes giving off a crisp ring.
Acting as if nothing strange is happening Richard speaks to the girl, his face still as ever. "Where am I?" The little girl ignores his question, instead choosing to circle him. Seeing her lack of a response he decides to experiment. His face still unmoving he grabs the girl by the hip with both hands and lifts her up. They stare at each other for a few seconds. Seeing that nothing has attacked him yet despite grabbing the strange girl he assumes he's safe. Maybe I have some use for whatever is keeping me here he thinks to himself.
"Your'e right. Now can you please put me down." The girl said with a slight grin.
Richard, after a few seconds of hesitation puts her down. Before he can say anything she vanishes. Immediately he begins to look for her. Unfortunately, she seems to have left. Suddenly, the gentle ring of a bell appears. Looking towards the direction of the sound he finds the girl sitting on the left most chair of the six. "I must say you are quite obedient. Hmm, maybe I should give you a reward?" She said while resting her head in between her hands.
Of course, Richard, without expressing a shred of emotion response. "What is this gift and can it benefit me in any way?" The little girl, hearing his lackluster response, smiles yet again. "Well I have a deal for you. Originally I was supposed to offer you only one option but now I feel like giving you another one."
Richard in response tilts his head, clearly confused. "Will this deal hurt me in any way?" Experiencing the strangeness of the situation he begins to wonder what the girl needs. She seems to be an ordinary human but thats likely a lie. There's also nothing in the immediate surroundings that can give me a hint as to where I am. For now I should assume that she has a neutral stance and doesn't intend to hurt me before completing her request.
Hearing his response the girl smiles even brighter. "I would like to have you to play a game as my representative. In exchange I will give you two gift choices that will help you and whether you win or not I will remove your status as an empty shell."
Pretending to hesitate Richard responds, trying his hardest to clear his head. "What is this game and what do you mean by empty shell?" The girl looks at him patiently, completely still. "You need to kill the other representatives. You will kill every enemy in your city, then your state, then your country, then you will kill the last nine in the world. As for what shell means. Hmm. I guess the best explanation would be that your empty." She said.
"Empty?" Richard said with confusion in voice.
The little girl responds, trying her best to be patient. "Yup. No emotions, no will to live or desire to die, no wants or fears. You are human yet within your mind is nothing."
"But I can feel curiosity and disgust among many other things." He responded.
"Do you feel any satisfaction when you find an answer to your question. Hell, do even feel the need to find an answer. Do you not see the disgusting and tasty meals as the same. Just another choice to mindlessly make?"
I have never really ever "felt" have I? "Alright so how will I become more than an empty shell?"
"I will grant you a portion of any feeling. Ah, I forgot. Each round gives you more emotions. As for the portion. You can get angry but only certain things make you angry. Regardless of whether someone punches and abuses you, you will not get angry. Of course, it is your choice so that might not be true."
Without hesitation Richard responds. "Depending on what those gifts are I'm willing to make this deal." Once again, hearing his response the little girl smiles. Even if I die I will be able to satisfy my curiosity. Of course I can always say no, after all It's not like I'll regret it, he thought to himself.
A bell rings again, the little girl floating directly in front of Richard with her closed hands out this time. Slowly she opens both of them, revealing a pair of eyes in each hand. "The eyes on my left allow you to see people as they are. Nothing hides from your'e sight. Not even the representatives blessed to be unseen. The eyes on my right let you see five seconds into the future."
Richard goes silent. Considering what she said it's possible my enemies will have some dangerous gifts. It could invisibility or it could be teleportation. Either way I would only be able to respond normally. Even if I do start walking around with a knife who knows wether I'll be able to retaliate.
Seeing his hesitation the little girl smiles. "Depending on what you choose I'll give you a gift." Hearing her Richard frowns. This this is too loose with the rules. It's possible that another one of these things decided to give it's representative more than the little girl gave him. The little girl patiently waits, playing with the eyeballs in her hands. Seeing the eyes Richard dives even further into his thoughts. Both are nice. Theres two options but I don't think she said I couldn't choose both. One eye each. But if I do this won't the abilities perception be warped. It should be easier to attack my sides if I choose it.
Even so knowing who my enemy is and what they're true self else and being able to react in advance will make it several times harder to kill me. The benefits outweigh the faults so I guess that's what I'll do.
Suddenly the little girl claps, the four eyes now circling around her head, the loose pink strings on their back forming something similar to a halo. "Good shell. For your gift, I'll make your head work a little better." She said.
"Explanation please." Richard responded with.
"Basically, your thoughts are so fast the world is in slow motion. Ah, but don't think you can move as you want. After all your'e only thinking faster. Also be careful. The after effect can hurt quite a bit if you do it too often." The little girl said.
Richard responds almost immediately without expressing a shred of hesitation. "I agree to be your representative." He said.
The little girl giggles to herself seeing his attempt at expressing excitement. "Alright and for now let's make it so that your curiosity proves a sense of satisfaction when the answer to your question is found. Enjoy your rest." Suddenly an intense pain fills Richard's eyes. A warm wet feeling slides down his cheeks as he tries to scream. As he falls to the ground he begins to feel his consciousness fade away. For what feels like days he enters a dreamlike state.
After an unknown amount of time he finds himself awake in his bedroom, completely naked under his blanket and not remembering a thing. Immediately he grabs his phone and checks the time. The bright flash hurts his eyes but he manages to see its eight am. He begin his morning routine, eating breakfast, preparing a change of clothes, and getting ready to shower. At least until he see's himself in the mirror.
